Well, How do I start...I guess I am DESPERATE!!! I know, that wasn't very suttel(sp?) but I am. I am at such a loss as to what to do...I have made a very big mistake and don't know how to correct it. I guess I should start at the beginning, so here it goes:
Ok, I am not very good at admitting defeat, so please bare with me. I have been homeschooling for about 10 yrs now and I have 4 girls. 10th grade, 7th grade, 3rd grade, and k5. When my oldest daughter was getting ready to start kindergarten, we decided we would homeschool. I only knew a couple of families that homeschooled and was eager to learn more about it. We had prayed and felt lead to homeschool. it was hard knowing what to do at first, so I just did what I knew my friends were doing. Which, at that time, one was using ABEKA. I ordered everything needed for that and got to work. Things were ok, but there was so much work to do. Well as the next couple of yrs went by, it was such a struggle to make Abeka a fit for my child. By the time she was starting 2nd grade, I was at a loss as to what to do. I knew that wasn't working for us. Not that Abeka is not a good curriculum, but it wasn't a fit for us and it was very expensive. Well, I went to an older friend who had homeschooled many yrs and had, at the time had just had her 6th child. I had known her for most of my life. She had actually babysat me when I was younger. So needless to say I looked up to her. She was 11 yrs older and seemed to have such a perfect life. (funny how life always seems greener on the other side...lol) Well, her attitude toward homeschooling was "less is best." More of a unschooling method. Not much formal school until 6th grade or so. Her 2 oldest children were in highschool at the time and to be honest, I thought were the perfect children. I can't tell you the times I have said,"Who ever marries one of them will have such a good wife." They could run a house as good as , if not better than, their mother. Well, I feel under the spell. I started doing exactly what she said I should do. BIG MISTAKE!!! In the last 2 years, I began to see some things that bothered me. For one, this family has a problem keeping friends..they were so judgemental. And sadly, I have to admit, that being around that made me (us as a whole family) become judgemental. The crazy thing was that the things they were most judgemental about were the very things they did themselves. Both their oldest daughters rebelled. The both left home, one left the state. One moved in w/ a boyfriend and started using drugs. It was a really bad situation. That really made us take a look at some of the decisions we had made. When there 3rd child got closer to graduation, he worked for my uncle who owns an appliance repair business. He needed some help and I recommended their son. After a month or so of working w/ him, my uncle called and told me that he was very concerned because the child could barely read. (at the time he was in 11th grade) he said he wouldn't be able to use him anymore, but for me not to say anything to his parents because he didn't want to get involved. Besides, what would I say??? Anyway, needless to say, over the last year or so the Lord really showed us that we need to make some serious changes. We have actually cut off contact w/ that family. I know that seems so drastic, but actually, It was best.
So here is my problem, I now have children that are behind. My 10th grader is only behind in math. My 7th grader is a little behind on reading level and math. But my 3rd grader is the worst of all. She is probably only reading on a 1st grade level. I am so worried about her. I have tried several different things and just do not know what to do. I never had this much trouble teaching reading to the older girls and am at a loss. I know that my 5 yr old would probably be reading now, if I had the time to work w/ her. I just feel like I have to devote so much time to my 3rd grader. Has ANYONE dealt with this??? I have spent most of the day trying to look at different things to do with her, but for the most part, everything is so expensive. I have spent so much on things that don't work, that I am leary of spending any more.
I am praying for answers and peace. I know that homeschooling is what we are supposed to be doing, but am just feeling a little lost. (actually, ready to throw in the towel..) I am a member of our local homeschool group, but am not really wanting to air my dirty laundry to them, so to speak...lol. I haven't actually felt that much support from the group as a whole. Any advice or encouragement would be welcomed.
Comments
Jan. 7, 2008 - Well.....
Posted by ReviewsbyHeidi
I don't know that I have any words of wisdom beyond this.....YOU are the MOTHER and YOU know what is best for YOUR children. It's ok if they are a bit behind on some subjects~ that's one of the joys of homeschooling~ maybe you can take some time and devote just to working on the subjects that you feel that they are behind on.
As for your feelings about Abeka, we had a similar experience at our house. We still do use Abeka for some subjects with our younger daughter (it's a good fit for her) but it's not for everyone.
As for your 3rd grader who is strugglins with reading....have you tried Abeka's phonics program with her? Really, in my opinion, it's one of the best programs to teach reading.
I just made a post about taking things one day at a time~ take a deep breath, re-group and move on from here. You can do it!
Heidi
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Jan. 7, 2008 - don't worry
Posted by Stephanie in Iowa
My oldest son seemed to be behind in reading. He absolutely hated his reading class. It was like pulling teeth to get him to 'learn" to read. So finally, I closed all the reading curriculums and we just read books. I found about 10 or so level 1 readers and we would read one every day. I would let him pick one that seemed to interest him. Then he would read it just once a day for a few days (or however long it took him to read that particular book fluently). After a couple days, he could remember the words and he could actually read the book. Then we'd move on to another book and do the same thing with that one. It really helped encourage him when he could realize that "hey, I'm reading" and it has blossomed from there. Now, when I read to him, he's trying to read the words too. I hope this encourages you!
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Feb. 24, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Mom4jdc
Wendy,
Your kids are never behind. They are just at different points than other kids. I have really had to let go of some of the expectations that I have had for Josh and remember that it is HIS education after all, not mine. I would have really liked for him to have gotten through Calculus in his 12th grade year along with Anatomy and Physics, but that is not where he is.And the time that he would have used learning out of the textbook he spent working and learning how to succeed in the workforce and how to run a business. He has also learned how to make priorities that will move him to where he wants to be. He know what he needs to finish to get into college and that is what he is working on. All the rest is fluff to him.
I know that it's easy to get caught up in the comparison trap, but your kids are not the same as anyone else's and they are not going to have the same goals as anyone else's. For your oldest, it might help for her to write down what she thinks that her life might be like in 6 or 7 years. What college she might like to attend or what field she might like to go into. Basic math may be all that she will ever need. And as long as she knows how to learn more math if she ever needed to, she'll be fine.
Learning to read is a process that takes practice. I like what the other poster said about just using library books. We use real books a lot and I have the kids read-aloud. I have found that reading aloud builds confidence in their reading and it helps me to monitor their capabilities. My older two read- aloud until about 9th grade and even now I let them read-aloud to the younger two. It takes a lot of patience at first but soon it'll just hit you that they can really read. Jebb, my 3rd grader, just finished"How to teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons" which took us 3 years to finish. If I had really worked with him 2 years ago, he would have been reading sooner. But, life gets in the way of our plans sometimes and he's now catching up.Maybe not 3rd grade level quite yet but he is now comfortable enough to sit down with a book and try to read without asking me every single word. Ahhhh, progress! ;o)
And if it helps you to know, my older kids frequently read aloud during Sunday School because it is too painful for them to listen to the "schooled" kids who read haltingly and mispronounce the words.
Anyway, I love ya girl. You aren't ruining your kids. Once they can read,add, subtract, multiply and divide, it is more important that they know HOW to learn than WHAT they learn. After all, the most important thing that you can teach them is to love the LORD and you are already doing that.
Call me if you ever need to talk.
Leslie
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Aug. 13, 2008 - Just in case there is someone else in this situation
Posted by Anonymous
I know this post is old, but I just wanted to put it out there anyway, just in case someone could use it. The biggest mistake I made in homeschooling was going on what others were doing. At the time, though, it was all I could do. I have been teaching for only two years (this is our third) and during that time, I figured out that we cannot have just one size fits all curriculum. It also gave me time to learn what my kids knew and what they needed to know and how to fill the gaps.
I have a 2nd, 5th, 6th, and 9th grader now and all of them learn a little differently. My second grader never went to public school and was taught to read and do math at home. He reads better, spells better, and can do math at the same level as the 5th and 6th grader. The ps system really failed those two, so I had to learn what to do about that. I encountered 2 really great products. One of them is called Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. It is AWESOME! This is how my 2nd grader learned to read and the results were amazing. This is for younger children and would not be appropriate for the child mentioned in the third grade unless she could barely read at all. That leads to my other product that I am using for my 5th and 6th graders. The Saxon Phonics Intervention program. This is a very detailed, and very in depth phonics program that will help her get the basics she may have missed out on and build on those to help her know the words and read better. We are not done with this program, but we already see some great results. I will warn that the program is time consuming. But that is the beauty of homeschool. You can lighten up on other courses and give this one extra attention, because the fact of the matter is that the child will not be able to do work like SS, Science, and even Literature without knowing how to read.
These are just some suggestions on what has worked for our family, but rather than listen to anyone about what curriculum to use or how to teach the child, look at what they need, then do the research to find out what curriculum will best give them that. Look at each one in hand before you purchase and check out online reviews about what it is all about. Also, I would not worry too much about the younger child missing out on so much. When my son was in K, our days were about 30-45 minutes long and consisted of 1 Easy Lesson per day, a little manipulative math, and some book reading.
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