Oct. 3, 2008 - Trust
Trust. Well, the Lord is certainly working on me in that area! So many ups and downs with this move! So many changes and situations where I just don't know how things are going to work out. It truly has been challenging for me since I am one who likes all her "ducks in a row". I like to make my plans and I really do lack flexibility! The Lord is always working on me in that area. Honestly, you'd think I'd learn by now! :) But no, I must always learn the hard way it seems! :)
Is it a lack of flexibility when there really isn't a plan to flex from?? Or is that just chaos?? Ok, enough whining already! I woke up in the wee hours this morning and the first thought I had was "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Isn't that a great thought to wake up to?? I know I needed it, and God in His great mercy for this wimpy servant of His provided yet again.
Why is it so difficult to trust? I honestly don't know! I look at the Israelites and rather smugly, I am ashamed to admit, judge them for their lack of faith. I mean, look at all God did for them....rescuing them from enemies, parting the seas, providing food and water in the desert and clothes that didn't wear out. And did they trust? NO! Just after the Lord did something wonderfully miraculous, they were complaining and fearing the next trial. Oh boy, that's exactly what I have been doing!! And it is humbling.
An example of this would be a few weekends ago when my dh was home (finally!) for a weekend. He got in at 12:30 a.m. on a Sat. In the early afternoon of Sat., I took 2 of my boys and went shopping for my daughter's birthday (can my baby really be ten???). We were gone for a few hours and upon our return noticed my dh and oldest son in the driveway talking with the neighbors. Isn't that nice, I thought, that my dh is getting to catch up w/ the neighbors while he's home. Then my son motioned me to stop and pointed to the downed power line in our yard. It had been raining, no POURING, all day (remnants of a hurricane I think) and a different neighbor's dead tree fell on the power lines in our yard, taking down the lines and blowing the transformer. According to my kids, sparks flew everywhere! This was in a heavily wooded section of our yard and I thanked God that the rain had been so heavy or there may have been a fire! And the power line was down in the next door neighbor's back yard. They have 3 little boys that are usually out in the yard on a Sat. but due to the rain, were safely indoors. Again, I thanked God. I saw a neighbor's dog get electrocuted by a downed wire when I was a kid (the neighbor boy almost died as well, but my dad saved him) and it was horrible! I was so thankful no one was hurt.
So, now we are without power and it is still raining. We have NEVER had water in our basement and have just sold our house (but not closed on the sale yet). I went inside and had to get something from the basement. What was on the floor? Yes, the sump pumps had stopped pumping due to no power and water was just starting to come into the basement by the sump pump. We had an old generator that my father in law had given us about 5 years ago. We've never used the thing but just about that time, my husband got it going! Praise the Lord, no more water in the basement, just that small amount! And dh was able to run power to our fridge and some lights on that end of the house. That got us through and we were thankful!! I was so very thankful that the Lord brought my dh home that weekend as I would have had no idea what to do!! And even though my son is very mechanically inclined, he'd never run a generator or started on that had been sitting. I could really see the Lord's hand in all of this!
My dh and I got up a few times in the night to fuel the generator and check on things. Then the kids and I went to a.m. church and dh stayed home to tend the generator. I was so disappointed he couldn't come with us and did my fair share of complaining in my heart to the Lord about that! But the Lord always has a reason.....
We got home to find the power on...thank you Lord! And then my dh told me the generator was making "a really loud, awful noise". You have to understand my dh is an optimist and tends to minimize problems (probably because his emotional, inflexible wife doesn't hand them very well!), so when he said there was a problem, it was probably pretty bad! He was working on the generator to no avail when the power company showed up and said "Don't worry, we'll have your power back on in just a few minutes!" And praise the Lord, they did! No water in the basement, no loss of groceries from our fridge, no one hurt. I was very, very thankful!
But then guess what happened? I did "the Israelite thing". Yep. I am sorry to say I started to think of the next trial. My dh had to leave on Monday and I started to panic; yes, panic! What would I do if he wasn't there to help w/ the next trial? How would I handle it? Fear just ruled my heart! That evening when we all went to church together (thanks, Lord, that even though I complained, you provided for us to go as a family that night!) the message was on being in the Word, and trusting the Lord. Isn't God good? He knew exactly what this struggling, pitiful child of His needed to calm her heart. Was I trusting in God? NO! I was trusting in others. Was I fearing God? NO! I was fearing circumstances. Lesson learned, right? End of story? Unfortunately, no. I must keep bringing that same baggage of mistrust back to the foot of the cross and leaving it with the One who can handle it. It is a continuous process, not an event! I am so thankful for the mercy of God and to be able to trust in the One who is worthy of my trust!
I was thinking of a song we sang in church just last week. As I trust the Lord, my hearts desire is to do what we sang "I will follow/I will listen/I will love You/All of my days/I will sing to and worship/the King who is worthy/l will love and adore You/I will bow down before You/ You're my Prince of Peace and I will live my life for You!"
He is my Prince of Peace and I CAN trust in Him. With His help, I WILL live my life for Him!
Comments
Nov. 6, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by JenIG
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jen ~ http://jeneralities.com
