Happy  New Year From the Sullivan's  (  Grayson and Garrett were gone to their Dad's)

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This will be hurried, I am so thankful  that  I have the blessings I do, things could be a 100 times worse, I read a fellow bloggers blog recently and realized that I have nothing to complain about.  But as Amy from humble musings said today,   Jesus is there, he is there no matter where you are.  He knows the situation.  One of the reasons I love working , even though it is hard work is because i can pray over these pt. I can heal the sick, I can serve those that need a servant.   AND JESUS is there.  Everyday 24 hours a day that hospital is a gathering place for the unseen angels that we are given as charges to.  Brittle patients that need a savior are holding on to hope.  Any hospital is a fabulous place to witness for our Lord and Savior.  Sometimes it is the only place you can mention God's name and not be criticized and 9 times out of 10 you are embraced.  I now have a neclace that I got for Christmas that inside holds  a mustard seed, and the verse that talks about the minute faith you only need.  I got this as a witnessing tool, after I said this to a patient and encouraged her she could go on, she called her husband and asked him to bring her Bible to the hospital......Amazing what small words can do to the spirit.  next time you ar at the hospital, please pray, I overheard a minister in a room with a pt, he prayed for nursing staff and doctors, and their hands of care.  I LOVED THAT!!!!   I had a better day after hearing that prayer.  I call my husband a lot to pray for me....I even called Carrie Peterson, by mistake , and she heard in my voice the terrible day I was having and said she would be praying.  It worked, the prayers of the saints have got me through days that had no end in site.  I thank you all that do pray for me and other nurses you know.  WE need prayers, even with  angels at the hospital, there is also spiritual warfare going on, and family dynamics are usually where it bears it's ugly head.  We get a lot of abuse from family members that only think they are helping their family member.....We have to be counselors, policemen, healers, listeners, and still get our paperwork done. Well at that, i am still thankful I have been given this opportunity to be the witness in this place of life some are at.  I hope to grow and may all see God's light shining forth in me...have a Wonderful Sabbath!!!!

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Well all the Christmas decorations are down, the tree will be down after the boys come back Sunday.  I feel better over all.  I appreciate all the prayers and comments about the boys going to school. We will try and see how it goes, I did have a  long heart to heart with Mom.  I think that the Mother Daughter relationship is always hard.  We will get through this too.    I know that God can direct my paths no matter what I choose to do for Monday. He will show me the way, he always does.  Well this will be short, I have to get ready for work.  they have not called me for "last minute shifts" since I unchecked that box!!!!! Yeahhhhhh

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This upcoming Monday I will be taking my boys down to the local Adair county school to enroll them( they are not open this week).  Working, the twins, and the hope to get Jacob up here, has all worked together to leave the base of their education up to trained professionals.  I will always be in the background, and hopefully more observant than I was prior to this semester.  I feel as though I am a failure.  the truth of the matter is that my mother has really been the push and shove of this change in attitude etc.  She really feels as though the boys are not getting a sufficient education, and really has taken it upon herself to feel responsible for their education when I am at work, and the boys are not very compliant I have recently learned.  We shared a few comments back and forth, and I have retreated to the fact that it is not worth my energy to argue with her about the boys.  So I will comply as though I were 12 again, and give the school system however bad or good it may be the educational rights to my boys.  They I'm sure will be fine.  If not then there will  be an addendum to this post.  I have not lived near my parents in years, and the fact that my husband works for my dad makes this equally complicated.   Life always has a way of rearing it's ugly head.

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Well we are about ready to take the kids back to their birth mother......I have decided that to me that is all she is.  I have no respect for someone that can not stand up to their husband, who controls  child support money that is supposed to be spent on children, not on a new  2009 Ford Fusion with leather. Maybe I sound bitter to some, I am not bitter, I am still angry.  I WANT MY CHILDREN BACK UP HERE!!!!   I am not sure why God is not being quick about answering my prayer, our pastor said Sunday that sometimes God's timing is not ours and don't rob God of showing us miracles.  So I have faith that how we get the kids back WILL BE  nothing short of MIRACULOUS.  I have bought the children replacement clothes for inadequately sent clothes, they got new clothes for Christmas.  I am very sad that they have to go back to her house.  The twins love them all so much and are so sad that they are leaving, and our family is being broken up.  My husband is very torn and saddened that their wanting her love  is still so dominating.  I am not sure how long he can stand this.  We will have them at Spring Break, and then again for 8 weeks this summer, and thankfully we will not be paying her child support this summer for two months.   We will have them in a routine.  Keep us in prayers, and my never ending job, that calls me daily, sometimes twice a day.  This is more than I ever wanted to be bothered.  I did uncheck a box that said to call me for last minute shifts, maybe that will help the excessive calling at 3:30 am.  yuck!    Well Happy New Year If I do not write again, I have to work the 31st and the 1st.  Fun, Fun

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Well I got off at 1300 with much prayer from Mike, Carrie, and all the children, we had a fabulous time at our friends the Peterson's house today.  They are such a  neat family, and we all have our favorite Peterson!!!  So we all love going to "hang out"  it is always full of fun conversation, good food, and kids that have Lots of other kids to play with.  And suprisingly not too much arguing!!!   WE are very thankful we have met so many BIG families in the area, our two favorite are the Peterson's , and the Konsavage's.  It is always nice for my husband to have good fellowship with other Christian men that are on the same page as him.  I also love knowing that they have the same values, and know that the kids are safe!!!!  Today was sweet Mercy's birthday and she is definately a sweet . sweet. little girl.  She has such a quiet, gentle, spirit about her. She makes my heart smile for all she has gone through with her hemangeoma, I have the same empathy for her as I do Wyatt, and both the twins love Mercy and Nate!!!
Well after opening all the presents last night, and going to bed at oh 11:30 ish, and then getting up at 0400, I am quite  tired and am going to go to be shortly.  Thank you Carrie for such fun time!!!  WE can't wait for you guys to come back to our home next!!!!!!!!   Merry Christmas!!!!!

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Well tonight is Christmas Eve, we are awaiting Lewis who is coming here to Kentucky from Arkansas, and celebrating Christmas tonight because I have to work six hours tomorrow after a long pleading from my ICU supervisor....I told her I could not work yesterday because of the kids coming this week...But she threw in a card, someone's father died.  Ok how can you trump death??  You can't , so I reluctantly threw back my card, but I have to work Friday, so she took me off Friday.  YEAH!!!!  ALways have a bargaining chip...ALways.....especially in nursing.  there is always needs in a hospital,  especially this one.. Always make them trade you a day.  The good thing is I will make in 6 hours what I would have made in 12.....close.....so all in all it came out somewhat ok....We will still be going to the Peterson's just in two cars.....but , at least i have the whole day off on Friday, and I have instructed all children in this family to NOT ANSWER THE PHONE< it is ALWAYS THEM calling.  ALways.   Becca answered this morning,  poor sweet dear.     Continue all to pray for doors and windows to open, and these CHristian children to be back where they need to be, safe in our home, love, and care!!!!  I know God will work this miracle, I have the faith of a mustard seed.....  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!!!

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We just returned from Arkansas on Sunday night, missing all the bad weather that came through on Monday, I was really anxious and sad about what I was going to discover once we got to Arkansas.  However once we got there and got over the initial shock of someone's life living in your house, we kinda settled into it all and I decorated for Christmas, I bought a few things for the house , and helped my Mother in law rearrange furniture so it looked "better" I guess I learned something that year and a half in interior design school.   it is all bitter sweet, I love knowing that my parents in law are warm, they do not have a 500 dollar a month butane bill, and they are happy, and able to live life without so many worries( being warm should not be a  worry)  They are sleeping in the same bed together, before they slept in recliners in  their former living room

.   We saw the kids, that was equally bitter sweet.  Mikes daughter brought her boyfriend,  He was not what I would have expected for her to date.  I found a note that evening about wanting to "marry him" and how she would support the fact that he does not want to go to college.  I am so sick over this.  She is only 16, and I am afraid the fact that MIke allowed her to go to her Mom's is making her look for that male approval that she always got from her dad and  who filled the void that she now is experiencing.  The youngest two did not even have a winter coat, nor did they have proper shoes, Jacob's had holes in them and Rebekah had no shoes for church. Rebekah  said that they did not fit and her Mother had not tried to get her another pair to look proper for church.  She allows these children to wear jeans to church.    I am so irritated with this whole situation, I want our children back in our God centered care and home.  Please everyone, I need the prayer of the saints of the Lord to join with me in Jesus name to petition God to change theses children's hearts.  And bring them home with Godspeed!!!!!  

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I guess having a child almost die gives you that second chance for the change that most never get until the truely unfortunate happens.  When Wyatt was on the ventilator, septic, and worsening even after a $13,000 shot, and on an oscilator that cost $4000 dollars a day, I begged  God that I would never forget that moment, the moment that all your hope and fears and unspoken worries are cast upon him, I prayed that God would save his prescious life and give us more time with him.  He heard our pleas, Michael Wyatt is a walking, talking miracle, he brings tears to my eyes nearly daily, even as I write this, I never want to forget the true GIFT that GOD gave us, not doctors, not me, only God could do that great of a miracle before my eyes.  This baby that was hypoxic with an oxygen saturation of 50 % turning Blue despite CPR rescue breaths, Only had the breath of the Lord to count on to permeate his sick little lungs.  This child that God had blessed us with was in our almighty Fathers hands.  a machine was breathing for him until he either would get better or  worse and the dreaded day that  parents and doctors dread would come to pass.  Fortunately by Gods sovereignty he saved Wyatt, he saved my husbands name sake who I did good by blessing him with The name  of my wonderful Christian husband .     I never had to watch my baby take his last breath and slip away to the angels awaiting him I did not have to say goodbye to a child I barely got to know but loved already with all my heart, at times I feal guilty, we had another baby that had a congenital defect, died a month before Wyatt went to the PICU, his grandmother came to the hospital to pray for my tiny baby, and had to walk in to the room that her Kaiden died in,.  I sobbed, I told her I did not know how she had the strength, (they mentioned  kaidens deathyesterday at church and MY EYES FILLED UP WITH TEARS AS THEY ARE NOW), I asked God why??  Why did  she still come up there, why did she still pray over Wyatt, even after her grandson died  He answered a question I had no answer to since that time 3 years ago, he whispered, all is Mine.  She prayed because she knew I would answer, I saved him because I Save. It was not his time, I healed him to show that I heal. I brought Kaiden home to take him from  the suffering.  I heard God .yesterday...... Maybe Wyatt talked with God while he was in the medical coma, perhaps God told him this was not his time.  This baby is blessed beyond words and has had numerous miracles happen to him since that.  He is here for an important job told to him I am sure during those 19 days.  Satan works overtime trying to hurt this child that God has declared his. He has been pulled out of a fire unharmed, not burned after falling face first in, a huge tree limb nearly fell on top of him where he was playing, the list is never ending.  But he is never sick, no asthma, no lung problems,  no mental retardation he was healed!!!!!!!

The boy's name Michael \m(i)-chael\, also used as girl's name Michael, is pronounced MYE-kal. It is of Hebrew origin, and its meaning is "who resembles God". Biblical: Michael is the archangel (chief or principal angel) who defeats the dragon. He and Gabriel are the only two angels given personal names in the canonical Bible.

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Well it has been nearly 3 months since we let the kids stay at their mothers.  I am very sad of some of the choices the Olivia(16) has made.  One being that she has read all the Twilight books, and even went to see the movie  that came out the other day.  I explained to Mike that they are calling it the next best thing to Harrry Potter and that made him very mad to know  that her Mother who  "supposedly" also hates Harry Potter would not step up and tell her daughter that she could not go see it, but let me take a step back and say she ( Yvonne  the mother)has also read the whole Twilight series.  I can not understand why reading about Vampires would be ok with any Christian, especially an adult.  I discussed this with my husband and he is going to speak to her (Olivia).  Do Christians not realize that when you allow small occult things in your life, it plants the seed for bigger things.  It desensitizes us to what we would have thought was wrong even just a few  years ago ,we turn a blind eye, because we really do not think it is wrong.  We justify things that should be unjustifiable.  We are to be different than the world,  even things as small as certain video games, music, books have caused people to delve into the occult.  Satan's power is here on Earth, these are all earthly created things  that Satan loves to use to build up his kingdom of eternity with us naive sheep.  I have always been very strict with my children as far as not even putting up witches and ghosts and things that are dead or "undead' We do not "celebrate" halloween . I certainly would not allow them to read books about vampires or watch about  undead people. No metter how glamourized it was or looked.  I heard that Halloween as far as spending goes almost beats Christmas every year.  How sad to think that a pagan celebration could overthrow the celebration of our Christ.  And the holiday decorations are Santa Clause, I can barely find a nativity ANYWHERE.  I am very sad that our world as we know it is so blind to all that is around us, and everyone is standing up to  buy a ticket.  That Twilight movie grossed 70 million dollars, paid for by the money that  fellow parents gave their 13 and 14 year old kids to go see a movie about Vampires and their falling in love with a human .............(talk about unequally yoked) I must go get ready to go to wally world let me know what your thoughts are :)

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Well my last blog had more postings and e mails then I have ever received .  But contrary to what some may think, my blog had nothing to do with any particular person, family, or  anything like that.   It has just been an accumulation over the past I would say year of people I know in Arkansas, old friends etc.  I still do feel weird making new friends because I am not sure what their beliefs are and I may step on toes.  Hopefully they act as graciously as I do about different opinions.  I hope nobody took offense. I think over all I felt that I was not saying anything that would point fingers.  The only thing I hinted at was the Barbie Doll thing, but I have heard the debate about Barbies over the years.  I had a discussion with a fellow blogger over that a few days back.   I really just could not think of another example of toys.  I guess I said Pokemon cards, some think those are bad...Oh well.  I guess we could discuss a new topic.  I will think of one in another day or two.. I put up my Christmas decorations this evening.  I am a bit tired.......Char

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I have been wondering lately where do people get there convictions from.  Is it all from their parents, or is it from a particular minister, or their spouse, a book.  I want to raise my children with Christian morals, I want them to have a modest outlook on how they should dress, but I guess at what point is it taken to the extreme.  I do not want to shelter my children to the point that when they are out in the world they are like the Amish 18 and 19 year olds and go buck wild because they have lived in such an extreme environment.  I want my daughter to drive, and go to college, I want her to be able to get a job at 16.  I never want her to think that there something wrong with being single, or working a job. She can do more than wait around for a spouse to can take care of her.  Although I do want her to be married, I would love for her to be a nurse one day too.    I guess what I am concerned about is that I do not have some of the same convictions as some of the people we know, and neither does my husband.  We do own a television, My husband loves football..  I let my kids watch Disney channel, and PBS.  I have used the TV for a babysitter.   I have so much to do, I can not entertain 12 hours a day. I do not sit with my children when they do their schoolwork, but I am here if they need me.  I never want them to be overly dependant on me, they need to know that they can do things independently.  I love clothes and shoes, and love dressing my children nice.  My girls love Barbies, I loved barbies.   Not because of their unrealistic body proportions, but because I got to be creative with clothes and sew my own  clothes for them, or my mom sewed clothes out of scraps from dresses she made me.  I got to play with my sister and we could play for hours, we got in trouble for cutting their hair, and giggled for endless hours.  I guess that I can not take away from Hailey what I loved as a child simply because of  convictions of others.  I  guess I have been thinking about this because I do not want people to think that I am perfect, or holier than thow,  or even too lax in my convictions. because there are lots of things I do feel strongly about .   I do ask my husbands opinion, and do what he asks of me, but 9 out of 10 times he lets me make my own decisions.  He even let me stay in Arkansas while he was here in Kentucky.  Strange? no.  He just knows that I hear God and he had not told me to move.  It was not until I got this job in Somerset and everything just started to fall into place that I felt that I could move. We tithe our 10 percent, and give God offerings, and he blesses us thankfully.  I guess sometimes In Christian circles It makes me nervous that others will not like me because of my lack of convictions in their opinion.  I try and not be judgemental if they have stricter convictions than myself, and even tell my children to not talk about video games, pokemon cards, etc because other children may not know about the latest games they have, and their parents may not want them to know.  I am very real and human, but saved by God's grace. Anyone else feel like this?

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When I was 20 I got pregnant with Grayson, I was not going down the straight and narrow road, I was going down the road that leads to nowhere, except hell.  I can remeber praying for him that God would  give him blessings and that he would come to know Jesus one day,  I even was Baptized with him,(I had never been).  This prescious little angel did not ever sleep, nursed 24/7  I could not leave him in the nursery he would scream if anyone else held him and not give up.  He screamed one time for nearly two hours, and it was not collic.  He has locked Garrett in the car as a newborn not once but twice, He jumped of a table and broke his arm, and when the MD was trying to put it back in place, I thought Grayson was going to punch him in the nose.....The worst thing he did ( That I remeber at this moment) is one time we were all laying down taking a  nap, and Grayson got  up (snuck) now mind you he was about 3. down to the edge of the lake and pushed a  neighbors paddle boat in the water , and started floating down stream in only a diaper.  Thankfully a neighbor was swmoking on her back porch and saw this child.  Another neighbor used a long boat hook and hooked him in.  He was definately a handful!!!  I have also called poison control over the years at least a dozen times.  I guess my kids are just a little more stinkerish lol.  I am very thankful no one ever called DHS on me.  I was a very young single mom but God saw me through and saw me fit to give two more blessings, who are also stinkers at times...

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My favorite time of the year is Christmas, We have two birthdays of our eight around Christmas time,  We usually do 100 dollars a person for Christmas, may not seem like a lot, but with eight and numerous other presents to buy It is a big number for us, The babies of course usually do not come anywhere near their limit.  The kids are usually encouraged to get one "big ' present, and they can combine their own money, grandparents, or non custodial parents money.   

Our favorite toys around the Sullivan's are Barbie's, Bitty Baby from American girl,   the kids also enjoy the Webkinz, and they play video games quite a bit.   The babies enjoy movies, I like the WEE Sing various  one hour plus movies, very fun and sing songy.  Wyatt  loves cars especially matchbox.  That is probably about it.  We want to get a trampoline, the kids always enjoy that one. 

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Well we found out some strange things about our house.  It used to be a doctors office/ hospital type.  The Doctor built a house across the street and I guess built  up his practice. ( I am going  to do some research about the house when I have a chance.}  There was also a spinster thar lived in the house caddy corner to ours.  She was very  young when the dr lived next door, but she said that He ended up overdosing, not because he had a drug problem, but because he had a girlfriend.....his wife had found out and he could not/or did not want the scandle of a divorce...crazy huh....We are also going to be busy working on the yard this weekend.

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Well all is well at the Sullivan  house, I will be going to get my second son tonight.  He has been gone to his dad's sometimes it is very hard to share a child, but I do.  My oldest is in BIrmingham, with his dad.  He will be home next week.  nearly all the boxes are unpacked, I only have papers left to put up in the used filing cabinet we bought yesterday.  I need to get some files.  I got my absentee ballot and voted McCain/ Palin.  I will be orientating, on every  floor the next few days ( Friday, Saturday).   I am hoping I will like peds, or labor and delivery, I think I would be in the Post partum area, but they do on call which means they pay you to be on standby....Cool huh

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Well I did the walk through yesterday and received the key for the house, I got about three of the numerous rooms mopped , vacuumed, and cleaned.  All in all it is not too dirty, they had dogs and there is a lot of dog hair I am getting vacuumed up.  There is also a lot of spider webs, So I am going to get some bug bombs to put off this evening. I still have three more rooms in the downstairs to do.  I am so excited!!   I have to work tomorrow, and next Wednesday and Thursday!!!  Hopefully I will be 100% competent on the computer by then!  We will be fully in by Monday.( The cable can  not be switched until Monday, and Mike loves Footnball too much..Lol

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Well day two over....It really did not go too bad.  I had  two good orientators.  And even met a  fellow homeschooler!!!   She was really nice!  I had two pt the first day and three the second.  It turned out ok because we sent one to the medical floor and one was in surgery ALL DAY.  That one was mine .  Love it when that happens.  We were still EXTREMEMLY busy with our vent pt., and me charting the day up to the point my lady left to go to the Operating room.  I still am a little nervous that I am forgetting something.  I hate that.  I hate worrying that I have forgotten an important part of someones day.  Everyone that reads this just say a quick prayer that I will not forget anything.  All these docs names are all foreign and that is hard, and i have to chart when they stop by, or when I call them and someone else is taking their call. And when they do say their name good luck trying to spell that.  The computer program is like in DOSS  remember that?????  you have to press enter at the end of the line...Yeah  I know!!   So I guess all in all it turned out ok.  I was exhausted and ate lunch after the cafeteria closed.   Thank goodness there is a  Subway!!!   We get the key to our house today!!!  YEAH!!  I have to go turn on the gas and water today.  I guess it is all just a name change in their computer.  I suppose I will be cleaning this house tonight.   FUN FUN!!!  I am a tad tired of cleaning. 

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Well It seems as though everyone has a cold of some sort, others worse than others.  I have loaded everyone on echinacea and bought the airborne effervescents ( I think they help)  I have also tried several of my homeopathic remedies.  Pulsatilla helped first ( just remember green junk from the nose and try that one first) I tried several cough , my Mom said to try Drosera, so I did, I think it has helped.  everything sounds a lot looser and not  so spasmodic.... Thats Good.  The babies have to go to daycare Tuesday so I am trying to get them able to go. Well we have not had a whole lot going on this weekend.  We close on the house on Friday  YEAH!!!!  We have to go through a final tour Thursday.  We wanted to tomorrow, but out realtor has the flu or something close to that.   Pretty boring.  We have watched a few movies, Mike has watched football, football, and a little more football please....lol  can you tell he likes football??  we did have a great service this am at church, we did not stay for the potluck I should have brought something, but actually decided at the last minute to go, because Hailey was coughing but I just did not put her in the nursery.  Grayson has been catching fish up at Moms in Michigan.  they come back Tuesday bringing cider and Michigan Mcintosh apples YUM YUM!!!!

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Well this is the third day of orientation.  It has been very interesting.  And yes I will be working in ICU.  Next week Tuesday and Wednesday and Saturday are my first days.  We do computer charting which I have never done, but I think If I can blog I can chart ;).   Well we have 75% of our "stuff"  out of Arkansas.  we will be going back next month sometime to finish up the last of it.  I really like this lake Cumberland hospital.  They have alot of good ideas  and are really wanting to do a good job!!!   This weekend the kids will be going out of town.   Grayson to Michigan, Garrett to his Dad's in Tennessee.  The twins seem to be doing wonderfully adjusting to daycare.  I am very thankful.    Everyone seems to be doing well.  We close on the house Friday.  So all in all everyone, and everything is doing well !!! Praise the Lord!!!  I am so glad that I am up here with my WONDERFUL husband who I adore!!!!  Well that is about it Grayson and Garrett are doing their studies with Mom.  I think she is really enjoying it.  Saturday we are going to Pam True's for her harvest Party!!!!  FUN FUN! 

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