Where to begin? It's truly been a really long road! I have cried, yelled, cried, pulled my hair out, laughed and cried a lot more! I knew this was going to be hard, but I wasn't prepared for the effects it has had on us as a whole family. Tonight we are chewing on a lot! I had a long conversation with our social worker today. We have decided that the time has come for the twins to transition into a new foster home. Madi will remain with us. She is really changing, growing (in the literal sense too) and beginning to heal inside. She's learning to be a little girl instead of her mom's mom, and her sister's mom. She's had so much of her inosense stolen from her. It hurts my heart that she hurts inside. We have a very long road ahead of us. I beleive it will be one full of God's glory!

When we started this journey we really were open to the idea of having a large family. We realized that 6 kids is just too many for us! We want to do what we are doing well, and with so many kids, it's hard to be on the A Game. Dealing with one emotionally traumatized child is a lot of work-add two more who have never had any rules until they came to live with us-and you have utter chaos. The twins have grown and improved and we know that the time we have had them has been a very positive experience. I had to hide my face today when Abby came home from school. Eric had taken the day off and she brought home the Father's Day present she made at school. She was just giddy that she had someone to give it to! She said "this is for you Eric, since I don't have a dad!" OH UGH! (I'm crying again) Eric gave her a big hug and said "well, you do have a foster dad". She was happy with that and had a big smile. Moments like that make it hard to send them on. We will be doing respite care for whoever takes them so that they can see Madi on a regular basis and I will probably be taking them to visits with mom if they stay in a Woodland home.

So that's our dilema for right now! Hope everyone is doing well!

Love Always

natalie and co.