La Kooka Rancha
Feb. 28, 2008
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Quiver Full
I have been asked to share a little about our family planning belief's...or non-beliefs :-) or 'quiver full' convictions. So I will attempt to share our story gently and respectfully. I have avoided this subject in the past because it seems to me that most people are not interested in change. When God begins to work on someone's heart He tugs at it and they respond. He doesn't need me to argue them into something. So...this is not meant to be a persuasive paper or a judgment on those with different beliefs. This is just our story. I DO hope it inspires someone to else to trust God with their family size.
I was growing up in the 70’s and 80's-- when it was not typical for the mother to be home with her children--except at my house. :-) My own sweet mother was there for us in the home, always waiting to hear our tales and always ready to pray with us. She taught me that a woman's greatest calling is to be the helpmeet to her husband and a stay at home mother to her children. From a very early age I dreamed of having a large family (I loved the Walton's television show!). Perhaps I was able to dream of the joys of a large family because my own mother and father made our family life such a joy.
Through the passage of time and thanks to the world's excellent brainwashing program, I came to believe that more than 3 or 4 children were an 'irresponsible and burdensome' thing for people to have. Sadly, Christians in the church had bought into the same lifestyle as the world and were now passing it on to the younger generation.
My husband and I married with the agreement that we would have only 2 children. But...deep in my heart I knew it couldn't be wrong to love children and have more of them. When our second child was about 3 years old I picked up the book "Full Quiver" at a local homeschool book table and began reading. That's when I discovered that my desire to be blessed by children was put there by God! Amazing! The new problem I faced was the fact that my hubby did not share my conviction and in fact, had never desired or been open to us having a large family. Thankfully, the Lord had already worked on my heart and showed me how important it was to respect my husband and his leadership of our family.
After a few weeks of prayer and SERIOUS Bible study, I went carefully to my husband and shared with him about the tugging at my heart. I did not ask him to change his mind. I did not tell him I demanded more children. I simply told him that my convictions about birth control had changed, but that my desire to honor his decision in the matter was more important than anything else. I explained that no matter what he decided I would be respectful, and more than that, I would be happy! After all, I figured if this really was God's call to us that he could change my hubby's heart whenever and however He wanted. I dropped the subject and went on with my life as though nothing had changed, simply trusting God to do His will. I knew it would be a true miracle if my hubby ever changed his mind! Ask anybody who knew him then and they would tell you the same thing. "He'll never change on that one!"
After about 2 months my Hubby announced to me that God had changed his heart. :-) I was excited! I was scared! What if we started having babies every 9 months?! Oh my goodness! What had I gotten myself into? I should never have studied the Bible like that! I should never have picked up that Full Quiver book!
Oh, how patient God is with us and how much we have to learn. It was a long time--years-- before I conceived another child. Of course we were overjoyed and began planning where we could fit a little bassinet into our tiny home. Part way into the pregnancy however, I miscarried. The grief was very real. My heart ached and my arms longed to hold the tiny bundle and how I wished I could've touched the baby soft cheek. Again, it was a long time before I conceived, and again...the baby went to be with Jesus before I ever held it in my arms.
Through these trying years God was teaching us more. We learned that letting God plan your family means that you trust Him no matter what. My dear husband reminded me that it's not right to attempt to 'twist God's arm' to give us more children! What a revelation! It turns out that WE don't make babies! GOD does! WE don't get to add children unless God WANTS us to! He doesn't necessarily want every family to be as large as the Duggar family...though there are many large families out there. Some families that are trusting God with their family size still have no children and some have just one or two. You'd be surprised! God actually has a plan...He doesn't just hand out babies willy nilly...hmmmm...thinking, thinking, thinking... I guess God is smarter than me?!!! :-D Why does it take so long for me to grasp the simple and the obvious?
Waiting and trusting was hard for me. I am one of those people who likes to jump all the way into something. When I decide something should be done, I want to do it yesterday and I want to do it big! I had to learn trust and patience.
When our second child was 7 years old I got pregnant again. This time I carried the pregnancy full term and the baby was born on my daughter's 8th birthday! Please don't tell me that is a coincidence. I don't believe in coincidences. Because I am a Christian I have given God permission to direct every area of my life. I know He does! The stories I could tell...but I won't right now ... :-)
After about 2 years I got pregnant again....and miscarried for the third time. By this time I knew that God had a plan for our family that was unique, just as each of us is unique. I felt a deep sense of trust and joy. No, I wasn't happy to lose another baby...joy is a sense of peace, not just surface happiness.
When our 3rd child was 3 years old God blessed our family with twin girls! Double blessing! We have been given so much! And right now I am very busy!
There is so much that God has taught me over the years that it's hard to sum it all up here. I have learned some very important lessons.
1. God doesn't make mistakes.
2. As a Christian, I need to be responsible to train the children God gives 'in the way they should go' or they will cease to be a blessing and instead be a burden...as children are for so many families who aren't Christians.
3. When God gives a child, He gives the means to care for that child...our financial picture improves every time God sends us a new baby (or 2!)
4. I believe that other people's fertility and marriage bed is their own business, as long as they are not aborting babies-which is wrong!
I share our story with those that are interested but I believe it is rude to inquire after another couples private life--unless that inquiry is because you are genuinely interested in changing your own perspective. Meaning--I don't care to have people try to talk me OUT OF trusting God with my family size. I pray that God will inspire people to trust Him through our lives but I NEVER look down on anyone who does not share our convictions and I don't want to be looked down on either. The door goes both ways. I know God is big enough to speak to His own kids when or if He sees fit--just like He spoke to us. I just hope that more people will listen because it's an AWESOME thing to be blessed so much!
5. I discovered through research that many of the 'dangers of having children' were myth's. Especially the ones about older mothers. Please don't try to engage me in an argument here. I don't want to argue. If you disagree with me that is your own choice. If you are not sure or have fears about childbearing. Do some research. I'm not talking about reading conventional reports. I mean REAL research. The kind where you look at actual statistics and find the real info... It's not as bad as we've been told!
6. The more you have the more love there is to go around! And the less selfish every member of the family becomes!
7. Out of all the families that God has blessed with many children I don't see any of them wanting to send any of the children back! :-)
I hope that God chooses to bless us with more children. But if He doesn't, I'll still be fine with that. I so dearly love each one He has given us and I trust His plan.
“And He said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee for my strength is made perfect in weakness, most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate." (Psalm 127:3-5 KJV)
Edited to add: Even though I do not make it a habit to inquire after other people's private practice that does not mean they should be unaware of the dangers of birth control methods.
Birth control pills, Depo-Provera or Norplant can cause abortions -go here to read about it. IUD's cause abortions- go here to read more.
Food for thought:
If we , as Christians, are so sure that God made us, and that God is the giver of life, and that God doesn't make mistakes, and that we cannot force God to do anything...then why oh why are we so sure that it is US alone who makes those babies happen? Where is God in that equation? How in the world does a precious little spirit get delivered into that tiny body if God doesn't want it to? We know that Satan is not a life giver so the only other alternative would be ourselves...are we really THAT powerful? I have even heard well meaning but very confused young wives say.."oh dear...I think I made a mistake ...we shouldn't have got pregnant right now!" No, no, no, YOU did not make a mistake...you did what God expects every married couple to do and then He blessed you for it! YOU do not have the power to make the baby...just the fun of helping the True Creator of Life! :-) |
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May. 11, 2006
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Just Getting Started
Well, I thought we should give this blogging a try.
This is the first entry. Hopefully, we'll be able to make entries about once a week. Some will be by me...the wife and the mommy. Some entries will be by Travis the husband and daddy. We hope to add pics and use this as a way to share with family and make new friends and air our opinions on various subjects. 
Today we are having a slow start to our day. Connor, the three year old was sick last night...running a fever of 102. I was up with him a lot. Today the two oldest:Doran (15 yo ds and Alex 11 yo dd) are complaining of tummy problems. So....homeschool work is put on hold while I sit and nurse the 4 month old twins and attempt to start this blog.
I hope to get to a grocery store today in order to pick up the essentials for the week. I do most of my shopping at two main stores: a small old fashioned grocery store and The Cupboard, which is a local health food store. It's a wonderful place full of spicy smells and wholesome foods. It also has one of the best little cafes in town! Yummy! Everything is organic and delicious. If I can get there today (depending on the families health conditions) I plan to buy some treats from the cafe.
As I am able to find time this week I will add some of our favorite links to this page. Maybe you'll be able to check them out.
Hope you'll keep coming by !
Sunydazy |
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About Me
Here you can visit our happy little acre, where we homeschool our 5 children. We believe in love of God, simplicity of life, sense of humor, and love of learning. I hope you will find encouragement while you are here.
(Note: We like Hank the Cowdog.:-) )
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Come and visit my other blog:
Sunydazy Days
Once upon a time, when things were not so complex...there was a handsome
farm boy (college boy) from the great woods of the Northwest
who came to the south on his
white stallion (White Honda Civic)
and won Buttercup's (Sunydazy's) heart.
He laid his heart at the foot of
her dress and said "Our love can be
like a storybook story. Will you be my bride?"
She accepted and they began talking
and dreaming of their perfect future
together.
Since that time they have together endured
fire swamps, ROUS's, the pit of despair
and yes, they have even teetered on
the edge of the cliff's of insanity (tee hee!)
Though their future was not quite what
they expected they still believe
in True Love.
This blog is all about the rest
of their lives where they are living
'Happily Ever After' in the land
of La Kooka Rancha.
They love to say 'you keep using
that word...I do not think it means
what you think it means.' and
'Hallo, my name is Inigo Montoya'
...but their favorite phrase is
'As you wish'....
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