Oct. 9, 2007

What Really Matters

I don't know why the LORD has chosen this year to be such a year of great growth for me, but I am so glad HE has. Sure, we have had some trials in our life this year, but most of my growth has actually come from vicariously going through life altering experiences of others. I have become active in following many caringbridge sites, several in particular. Going through the highs and lows with them has been an opportunity for me to really think about what I believe and how strongly do I believe it. Not only has it challenged the strengths of my beliefs, it has really affected the way I view my family. Now I have a long way to go, and I'm sure my family wants me to hurry and get there, but I am making progress finally! I don't get frustrated as quickly. I have been able to let some things go that I used to want to hold so tightly. I have relaxed my expectations ; this has been the hardest for me! I think the LORD has finally been able to get me going on the path of prayer that HE has been wanting me on for years and I have resisted. Now I must learn to balance the weight of intercessory prayer with daily life. The burdens can be heavy at times, but it's worth it to me to see GOD move in someone's life. I have also come to the place where I appreciate my husband more like I should. Now I have my days, and I constantly need to remind myself to check my responses, but I am finally free of the weight of the old way of thinking that he's here to serve me - as long as I choose to go about it the way the LORD wants me to! There is a freedom and a happiness in dying to yourself for another's sake. And why would I not want to die to self and serve the one person who has been there with me through all my ups and downs, who has stuck by my side no matter what? Ahh, what a slow learner am I...

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