Talking Fingers

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Jul. 17, 2006 - Shelby's Frustrations

Being the only deaf member of our family . . . being the only dwarf member of our family . . . and being the only athletic member of our family Shelby gets quite frustrated at times. Which in turn makes me, Mommy,  frustrated. I want to use this blog page to inspire other parents of deaf children to homeschool, but I don't want to paint a picture full of roses. Life is hard sometimes and we forget why we are doing this!

 

My husband and I often compare our lives to having a child in our house that speaks Spanish. We live in Texas so we know some Spanish, but not at all fluent - not even close for that matter. Many families, unfortuantely, live the same situation but don't have the added challenge of trying to educate their child. Unfortunately they chose to let the state educate their child, yet never learn their child's natural language. This creates a false family with the child's peers instead of their family. We have chosen the bumpier path - the more rewarding path - the path laid out for us by our Lord and Savior.

 

There are days that I look at my daughter and wish she was born with normal hearing, I wish she could speak to me and tell me all about her dreams, I wish she didn't need me to translate to her what her daddy is trying to tell her. But then I think about what blessing God gave me when he gave me a deaf daughter. Instead of hearing my daughter tell me her dreams I get to see her dreams in full animation! (deaf people have such a wonderful gift for animation) Instead of fussing about translating I'm getting the opportunity to teach my husband and others sign language and time to practice my signing skills! If God hadn't blessed me with Shelby I may never have discovered a wonderful culture and language, I may never have homeschooled, I may never have appreciated each child's gifts and uniqueness, I may never have developed a heart for the deaf community.

 

Our family is not perfect and we are still learning. It's not alwasy easy, but it's always worth it! I hope that God will allow me to continue to encourage and empower other parents to take an active role in their deaf child's life.

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May. 27, 2006 - Schedules

Schedules are an important topic when talking about deaf children. All children like the security of a schedule, but deaf children thrive off of a schedule.

 

In homeschooling sometimes we tend to be flexible - sometimes too flexible in our daily routines. This can cause havoc to a deaf child. A hearing child can hear all the background conversation all day long, but the deaf child only has the information directly fed to him or visually available. Example: My son can deal with a change in the schedule quite easily because he can hear his father and I discuss why this would be better or why this isn't going to work. So once he is told that there is a change in schedule he understands. My daughter has missed all the background conversation and all of a sudden is forced into a change of plans. This throws her off and she is diffiuclt to deal with for a few moments. Now I realize all children are different and there are varying degrees to everything, this is just a personal example.

 

Now deaf children do need to learn to be flexible, but at home they also need to feel comfortable and undistracted so that learning can be done and relationships built. The best thing is to have a rough schedule of daily events and make a visual for your deaf child. Some kind of calendar or chart to show pictures of what must be done and in what order. Don't set it up by times as this is stressful to follow. Just make a general order of events so your deaf child knows what comes next. You will find that your child will start to do these things without being told. It really gives them a sense of independence when they know what needs to be done and can take care it without being reminded.

 

Our family schedule:

Wake Up

Eat Breakfast

Brush Teeth

Get Dressed

Fix Bed

Bible Story

Free Play

Snack Time

School

Lunch

Free Play

Chores

Snack Time

Quiet Time

Free Play/Finish up any schoolwork or chores that need to be done

Dinner

Showers

Bible Quiet Time

Bed time

 

I have little ones so there is a lot of free play time. They need time to explore. During these times I have things available like sidewalk chalk, swimming, colors, puzzles, games, etc. My kids don't have very many toys so they spend a lot of their time outside playing. Of course I can get away with that right now because I live in Texas.

 

A schedule does not need to be a complicated thing, just a guidline to help you through the day so that your child doesn't feel lost and confused. If you need help developing a schedule for your family, please feel free to email me!

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Apr. 28, 2006 - I'm Deaf and I'm Short!

 

"Hello, what’s your name?"

"I’m 7."

"Wow, you’re 7? What’s your name?"

"I’m deaf and I’m short."

 

If you were to meet my oldest daughter, this would be the typical conversation. She thinks everyone needs to know her age, next most important is knowing that she is deaf and short. Deaf being obviously that she can’t hear with the exception of her cochlear implant, and short being that she is an achondroplastic dwarf. Seven years old and three feet tall. Three feet of fire ball!

 

God has blessed her with an incredible personality full of determination, gumption, and curiosity. From the day she was born she had this independence about her. During her infant months she refused to be cuddled while sleeping, she wanted to be alone! Now she still insists on doing everything alone. Just watch the child climb a tree, or ride a bike, or cook a meal, or hang laundry. The list goes on.

 

Before I go any further I have to describe her bike riding. We recently bought her a small bike, just her size, but due to her inability to ‘tread where others tread’ she has had two flat tires since getting the bike. This left her wanting to ride a bike but only having her brothers bigger bike available. So off she goes. The funny thing is she can’t reach the petals as they rotate around, so she pushes on one petal and waits for the other one to hit her other foot. As soon as that petal comes up she pushes on it, going faster and faster. It is quite a site.

 

She is very curious and thinks she needs to know everything going on around her, so she is very good at asking questions. This comes in handy for a deaf child, but can be very annoying to the one being asked. As a good parent I try to answer all her questions, but sometimes it’s just not her business. Feeling guilty at this point, I reason with myself. My son, age 5, also is quite the little question man and thinks he also needs to know all phone conversations. Again, there are some things that are just not his business! All this to say, my son can hear all the conversation around him, regardless if it’s his business or not. My daughter knows there is conversation around her, but not able to figure out what it is all about.

 

As a homeschool mom, I am very involved with my children’s education. I research ways to teach and learning styles. I am very curious on how to teach them better and how they receive information. Using the above example I can demonstrate what my son has gained from surrounding conversations and what my daughter has missed out on. For example, if my son heard that I told his grammee that we would meet them at the zoo Saturday, he would be excited. My daughter wouldn’t have a clue. Granted we would have told her this information before arriving at the zoo. But if my son overheard that tornados are predicted in the upcoming storm, he would want to know what a tornado was. My daughter doesn’t receive this extra input of information unless it is visually given to her.

 

My son has shocked me many times with knowledge of things he shouldn’t have known.

My point is that knowledge is built upon, it doesn’t just happen through school books and pitiful phonic readers. The world needs to be accessible visually for a deaf child to gain common knowledge and become a functioning adult. Sure they could slip by and grow up to become a well-rounded person, but I want my child to understand the world she lives in, not just tolerate it. As a Christian I hope that my children will grow in Christ and understand their battles ahead, my deaf child is no exception!

 

As parents we desire the best for our children, all of our children. Not just the "gifted" ones or the "normal" ones, but all our children and all their differences. As parents of these precious special gifts from God, we desire and work hard to give them what they need to succeed. And all of our definitions of success are quite different, but we work diligently at reaching those goals with our children. With our children, not for our children. We can’t do it for them, they need the "want to" for themselves to reach high. Focus on things High and our children will find their purpose in this crazy world, they will find the reason God created them just like they are, and they will find God in everything they do.

 

Accomplishing the feat of riding that big bike encourages my daughter to keep trying and not give up just because she is shorter than everyone around her (including her 3yr old sister) and reminds me that she can do anything she sets her heart to. It reminds me not to limit her, rather let her bloom just as she is. And next time she tells someone that "I’m deaf and I’m short" with a proud grin, I can be assured that she does have something to be proud about: proud of the fact that she is a beautiful daughter of God made just the way He likes her.

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A place to gather and learn together as we homeschool our deaf and hard-of-hearing children. I am a hearing parent with a deaf daughter and have felt led to share what I've learned and my experiences down this delightful path.

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