One of our responsibilities as parents and also their teachers to to help our children focus on what is important to be learned. All of us have had those days when,even if we do not speak it out, we certainly are thinking to ourselves..."Didn't they hear anything I said?"..."You are not paying attention to my instructions?"...Everything I say goes in one ear and out the other ear?"..."I've asked you ---times and it still isn't done!"..."Who do you think I am talking to?...myself?!"

Here is some of what the book of Proverbs has to say about "paying attention".

Listen, my son, to your father's instruction (1:8)

Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding (4:1)

Listen, my son, accept what I say; listen closely to my words (4:20)

My son, pay attention to my wisdom, listen well to my words of insight (5:1)

Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say (7:24)

Listen, for I have worthy things to say (8:6)

Now then, my sons, listen to me (8:32)

Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it (8:33)

Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise (19:20)

Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach (22:17)

Listen, my son, and be wise (23:19)

Listen to your father, who gave you life (23:22)

Well, it is clear what the book of Proverbs thinks about paying attention and the importance of that in gaining wisdom.  Without listening you lose the ability to learn and it is our children's responsibility to LISTEN.

All that said, though, for the majority of the time the problem is not that the child is not paying attention, it is that he/she is paying attention to something else. They are lost in the computer, a daydream, busy outside in the sunshine or the sand box, intently watching a bug, or in some faraway place that a movie or book has taken them to.  So, it is our challenge to be sure that when we speak we HAVE THEIR ATTENTION.  We need to teach them to focus on what we are trying to communicate. It makes life easier if this is taught at a young age but with some consistency all your children can learn to focus on you when you speak...they can learn easily how to pay attention and all of you will be rewarded for that in the future. It will make it easier on them, when they are adults to focus on God..to pay attention to his instructions...to hear his voice.

Here are some tips to help and not in any order....

1. Always state your child's name. That is an attention grabber, but watch your tone and inflection in your voice. Never shout your child's name. Save that for a DIRE emergency.  If you want your children to enjoy learning from you start being pleasant from the start. Always remember you are teaching, instructing and loving at the same time.

2. Get close to the child and establish eye contact. The younger the child the closer you need to get. When my children were preschool I made a point of being close to them and making sure we had eye contact. That way you both have each other's attention. When a child is not looking at you the chances are very good that their mind is not focused on you. Oh, they can be looking your way but be a long way off somewhere else. The "calling instructions" from across the room, and even from another room just doesn't work. You are wasting your breath and actually teaching them that what they are saying is unimportant. And hollering from the front seat of the van...take the time to pull over into a parking lot...get out and open the side door and get their attention. It is important to have captured their attention so remove whatever has their focus...turn off the television, put down the book, sit on the steps away from the grasshoppers..you get the idea.

3. Verbally have them give you a response.  If you are dealing with a toddler and you want them to pick up their toys, have them repeat to you that "now it is time to pick up my toys", then take them by the hand (to keep them from getting sidetracked) and start them picking up their toys. Again, remember you are teaching and training.  If you are requiring a chore from an older child (first grade on up) have them repeat back to you what you want them to do. The child giving you a nod, a wave of the hand, a grunt, ect. are too easily used without meaning anything. Have them repeat what you have said to be sure they understand not just the instructions but the time frame. It is also a useful tool to gauge that you have their full attention.

4. Give your instructions a few at a time. Keeping our attention is hard even as adults. All of us have experienced someone going on and on and on and before long our minds and thoughts are somewhere else. A child's attention can be lost or the child can become overwhelmed. If you need their attention for letting them know what schoolwork needs to be done, you know the age of your children, so don't overload them with instrucions. Gain their attention, give them an assignment and instruction or two and then let them complete that. If it is chores, don't give them the instructions for all the spring cleaning you want done, just one or two tasks at a time. ..."please make your bed and bring your dirty clothes into the laundry room." Some would call this micro-managing, I prefer to call it training and teaching.

5.  Treat your child with respect. We are the examples on how to live out God's principles. WE need to be the example of how our children are to treat others. WE need to show them through our example. Be respectful, especially of older children. If they are already absorbed in something else don't interrupt unless it is necessary.  You will gain a much better response if you talk to them when they are not fully engrossed in something else. My husband takes checks out of the checkbook, goes to the store, but then no matter what I am doing, when he returns he tells me how much he spent and expects me to enter it in the checkbook. I can be in a bubble-bath...making 20lbs. of potatoe salad for a party...wrestling with burning fried chicken on the stove..you get the picture. He doesn't have my attention and it has caused financial consequences in the past. Don't worry, we have worked it out...he has finally learned how to write down the amount in the checkbook himself...gotta love them husbands. The point being is that it is a matter of respect to show a little patience to the person, child or not, to gain respect back and likely gain a better response when you need to talk to them. If it is necessary to divert the child's attention from what they are doing, explain why the matter needs attention now...respect is for any age.

Well, that is it for today....I know this was lengthy but I hope you gain something from it. Give it a try and I always look forward to hearing if anything I have to say helps. The Lord leads me and I must write what He directs but  encouragement  from ya'll is always appreciated. For now though, I rejoice in being His and your humble servant...wanting to help each of you build God's kingdom here on earth!

Not only was the Teacher wise, but also he impartedknowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs. The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.     Ecclesiastes 12:9-10