For our homeschooled family there where three important elements....commitment, paticence, and a sense of humor.  Today I will post about patience, the others to follow on upcoming posts.

When you are a homeschooling mom, as all of you already know, the shelves of hats are endless. You are mom, teacher, nurse, counselor, friend, playmate, maid, cook, taxi driver, social secretary....and the list goes on. The way I was able to keep a measure of patience, for most of the time, was to realize what the most important aspect of my job was. It was to train and teach my children and that this is a life long process not something that has instant gratification.

If you stop and think about it for a moment you will realize that spiritually, emotionally and academically we, yes, we adults are still  learning (and the proof is on paper, pick out most any blog and post). Why do we expect to see almost immediate results from our children when we are training and teaching them?! Why in any of these areas do we not have the patience to impletement a plan, be consistent with it and then patiently watch for the fruit?! Why do we all hear statements like "my son is four and can't write his name yet,we have been working on it all week, or "my child is seven and he has pulled out every toy in his room...I told him to clean it up one hour ago and it is still not done" or "my fifteen year old snapped at me and rolled her eyes when I told her to get back to her school work and off the phone. I'm sick and tired of that attitude..she better change it right now!" Again, our training and teaching and learning takes a lifetime...do we adults learn everything the first time we are shown?...are our hearts and attitudes christlike or even human like all the time?...do we not get overwhelmed with life and sometimes a little blue? Think about how much longer we have been in school for these things than our children.

Let me give you an easy example..one on training. Shortly after my daughter turned two, we found out we were going to have another baby. We decided we needed to potty train. I had not been through this before but heard of the battle that it was for some moms and how their older children still wet the bed. We just knew it was going to be a battle....but one we had to take on at some time and now was the time. I spent about a week praying for a heap of patience, purchased a potty chair and some cute big girl pants,  and cleared my schedule for the next two weeks. That Monday morning I explained to her that we where going to play a game, she had a new chair to sit on and that when she sat on that chair Mommy and read to her and then she would get to put on "big girl panties". Let me get to the meat and jump over the details.....I let the answering machine catch the phone, I paid attention to when she ate and drank and within that hour sat her on her potty chair, laid down in my spirit and sat quietly and read to her. I did this over and over and over and over...I stayed consistent, didn't expect it to be done in one day, two days or even that week  and I used the patience God bestowed on me. For the most part, at the end of the week she was trained but for an extra measure we followed it into the next week. She was fully trained, and except for one or two accidents in the week or so following never again wet her pants.

Now, I know most of you have several children and training is more challenging but the concept should be the same. Whether it is bed time, obedience, keeping their rooms neat, getting their schoolwork done in a timely manner....it doesn't happen overnight! It is a process of you consistently, patiently training and teaching them and in due time you will see it bear fruit.The first step is to pray! Ask God to show you what needs to be worked on most...and with his leading isolate the problem that needs the most work or  that bothers you the most....they don't pick up after themselves, your eight year old doesn't want to read (I had that problem...everyone else's kids were reading at four), they are whinning about how much work you are giving them, their attitudes are sour. Now pray again! Ask God's help to show you a plan...then decide on a plan. Maybe your husband has some ideas or your sister or mother or other moms in your care group. I bet you can guess the next step....pray! Ask God for a motherload of patience....that your children can see Christ in you and that you can be patient in training and teaching them. And finally, be consistent with your plan and hang in there.....the fruit does bud, blossom, and ripen...it just takes awhile.

I have had this list of "ten commandments" for our home for at least a decade. the paper is worn, stained, and tattered but the commandments are burned into our hearts. Hope this will help kyou bring  a measure of peace into your schoolroom and home.

       THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF OUR HOME

 1.  We will obey the Lord, our God. His Word is the final authority.

 2.  Our father is the head of our home. He makes the final decision in    

      situations in question.  We willingly obey our father.

 3.  Our mother is an authority equal to our father. She willingly obeys our

      father. We willingly obey our mother.

 4.  At all times, we will strive to express love.  Our words, actions, and thoughts

      will consist of kindness and love to one another. As children, we will not do

       bodily injury to one another, but will, in love confront the problem.

 5.  We will care for the possessions loaned to us by God. We will not destroy our

      belongings. When we have occasion to use an item, we will put it back in its

      place.  Our rooms will be kept clean at all times.

 6.  We are responsible for jobs around our home.  We will do these jobs well, without

      grumbling or complaining.  We will do these jobs immediately upon being told to

      do them.  We will not procrastinate.

 7.  Our home is a place where we all live.  Therefore we will permit each other time

      to do things they enjoy without interruption.  Each person is entitled to a quiet time

      each day, to be used as he or she wishes.

 8.  We are all to be present at family gatherings, such as meal time, Bible study, and

      church services.  We will employ love in listening and sharing with each other.

 9.  All rules which apply within our home we will put in action outside of our home,

      wherever we may be.

10.  The peace of God is the signature of our home. Therefore, we will not disturb, by

       any action or word, the peace of this home.

I hope that one day you will find a tattered, well-used, piece of paper containing these commandments and your mind will stroll over all the wonderful memories you have of your homeschooling years partly due to posting these commandments. I also pray that they will help you stand on conistency, and bring a measure of serenity, peace, order and unison to your schooling and home.

"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all those who are of the household of faith."

                  Galatians 6:10

During my years of homeschooling I knew that authority was a big issue. Training them to respect authority starts at a very young age. We worked very hard on working with them helping them see that there where different types of authorities. Both sets of grandparents lived within one mile of us and also within a mile of each other. They learned very quickly that what the grandparents said was the law. It became somewhat comical because by the age of about eight or so they thought grandma and grandpa on both sides knew just about everything.  One cute side of the coin was that they wanted grandma's advice and input everytime they got sick...even the sniffles. "Call grammie and see if she will come over and check to see if I have a fever"..."call grammie and see what medicine I need"..."call grammie to come with us to the doctors!" They still, even as young adults call "grammie" for their medical issues.

It was a fact in our house that Daddy was the head in our house. But my husband worked 24 hours shifts every other day and on his day off he worked ten hours at a part time job. For about fifteen years we keep only one car...that way I got the kids up and we all drove Daddy to the firehouse. The next morning we would pick him up and drive him to his part-time job. Thus giving us time with him and actually, even though there was little time it was of great quality. But that is kinda beside the point....the point was that at about the age of three my husband started slowly introducing manly authority into the life of my son. When my husband finished packing his fireman's bag and we would be almost ready to go my husband would call mu son in to help. Of course, the little fella loved that. He would drag Daddy's big bag to the door wearing Daddy's fire dept. hat. Then his dad would say, "Son, today is Daddy's day at the fire station. I am putting you in charge of our girls today. Give them lots of love and if they need anything you tell Mommy to call me. Can you remember that?" Our son would smilllllee and tell his Dadddy that he could be counted on.

We didn't just show them about human authority though....We always spoke about how we had an authority over us and that authority was God. We just wanted them at a young age to have something tangible like Daddy and the grandparents. When my daughter was about six I came across an article....that article became a staple in our home. You see, it was about that time that we thought they could really understand on their own that there was sin. We wanted them to understand that because of our love for our heavenly Father we wanted to do our best to lessen the amount of sin in our lives. We also wanted them to learn that alot of the sins that people commit can be avoided and that one day we would all have to answer to our ultimate and final authority about those sin...God!

And we started using the following (not in this exact wording at first) and still do to this very day. It was advice from John Wesley's mother to John Wesley (the great evangelist), when he went away to college:

When you judge the lawfulness of a pleasure, take this rule:

     Whatever weakens your reason,

      impairs the tenderness of your conscience,

      obscures your sense of God,

      or takes away the relish of spiritual things;

      whatever increases the authority of your body over your mind

THAT THING IS SIN.

We have used this as a guide for more than fifteen years concerning everything from books, movies, relationships and the list goes on. And I do believe in this household we understand about sin and our final authority...our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ!!!

Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.    Ephesians 6:4

This is my first entry on my new site so I thought I would let you get to know me a little.

I am a married, christian woman of a wonderful hard working husband and the proud mother of two wonderful children. I have been homeschooling for the biggest part of my adult life. Our homeschooling took us through the early years of learning....potty training, talking, manners, riding a bike...all the things stay at home moms teach. We continued with elementary school, middle school and then high school. There was never a doubt in our minds that this was the Lord's calling for our life.  Some homeschoolers say they take the decision to keep their children at home one day at a time. We decided after the first year that we would make a commitment to school our children until they graduated. For us, that made the decision easier...when we had bad weeks (and I do mean weeks), we were able to hang onto that commitment and find a way to make it through those rough times.

There have been tons of highs and also tons of lows but the tree has produced abundant fruit. My children are well adjusted, courteous, loving, friendly, but most of all have a great love for the Lord. They have strong, firm relationships with their grandparents (who live in the same town), their aunts and uncle (they are plentiful), and their cousins. One of the greatest relationship gifts is that they are best friends (one daughter, one son). They confide in each other, play together, know each others friends, and even ride together to our local university. Their deep love and friendship for one other is evident to all who know them.

All of my young life my desire was to be a stay at home mom with many children. God didn't give me many children, but he did give me the cream of the crop, and he gave me my heart's desire...twenty plus years at home with my children...teaching, training, loving, bonding and building God's kingdom. At the time we started homeschooling it was a fairly new concept. There was very little support and most of the parents that were homeschooling were just starting out like us. There were very few families that had schooled through all grade levels. It was sort of the blind leading the blind as far as the academics. Because of that you had to learn to lean heavily on our heavenly Father for guidance, support and encouragement. Also, we sought out christian sisters to help us through our journey.

My children are living at home and attending the local university. In the past year all our lives have changed dramatically. The kids have gotten jobs, attend college, date and have very active social lives. For me, life has become very quiet and I have alot of time on my hands. We are trying to adjust because unlike families who children are in school every day of the week for twelve years, my time to myself came all in one day. My husband and I are learning to relate on a different level, and I am slowly beginning to enjoy the lack of responsiblity...it can be fun not having to cook and just picking up something, to not pour over algebra, calculus, chemistry and the classics and read something I want to read just for fun, to be able to go shopping and not feel guilty about how far behind in our studies we are going to be now. We still don't have many answers to what our life is going to be like in the future...this we are having to take one day at a time...and it still doesn't feel normal or natural. And there is nothing yet that I feel as passionate about as I did homeschooling. I do know that I have a loving, caring, heavenly Father, who in due time, will give me another passion, a path I can see, a purpose that feels natural. Until then I am resting in Him and praising Him for all the blessings he has already given me.

So, all of you out there that haven't made the journey to the destination of graduation yet....use me!! Or maybe, you are in the same boat as I am and just need a sister to share this unknown path with. I am a resource that would love to be questioned, picked over, rummaged through...I would love to share what things worked for us, academically and spiritually...I wold love to share with you how to use each moment as a teachable moment to help you build eternity! Here I am.....use me!

I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name be proclaimed in all the earth.        Exodus 9:16

May God's peace be over you and your children today.