Jun. 17, 2007
Realizing "I" Need To Change
Sometimes I question God's sense of humor, but I couldn't help but smile when I saw the scripture in my "daily blessing" box that is on my blog, especially in light of what I am sharing about in this entry. So, just take a second and smile with me because God truly does love us and care for us, enough to remind us no matter where we are. 
I don't know about anyone else, but I really have thought when I said it in the past, "I need to change my attitude", I really meant it. I am now having to face the possibility that just maybe when I said that I was really down deep (in secret) hoping everyone else around me would change theirs so I could just go on doing what I was doing, but be happier about it. Not real fun "food for thought" is it? But it is something I was in need of facing and dealing with and God is so faithful to keep working with us in those areas we need to bring into obedience to Him, isn't He?
Earlier tonight I was sharing with the ladies on my email list and so I decided to share some of those rambling thoughts here as well. I have a feeling I am going to be chewing on them for a while anyway and I can access them here easier than scrolling through email...lol How's that for deciding what to blog? LOL
The lessons God wants to teach me seem to be never ending. And though I am weary, I think God is teaching me even about that. (God brought to my mind the scripture Matthew 11:28-30 and I am going to be studying that over the next few days and I will be sure to share any nuggets He gives me.) So, as I attempt to share what God is doing in my life, please forgive me if it sounds too rambling.
It seems that strife has come and set up camp in our home. It is hard to find anyone really doing anything from a loving heart/attitude including me. I know I need to work hard at changing my life, to be more loving in my actions, and to truly show the love of Jesus to everyone, INCLUDING my family. I am frustrated because my girls are not very loving to one another or even to me or their dad. And I will even admit that a lot of times they really struggle with even showing respect to us or to each other. Either it has gotten significantly worse or God is just making it glaringly apparent to me so I will address the issue and do it His way. I suspect the latter is more the case. I know God is telling me to teach my kids how to be loving by being loving towards them. And though I have loved them with all my heart all their lives, I have not always acted in a loving way towards them with my words or actions. I have tended to let my life frustrations affect all my words and my actions and so they don't really see me as a very loving person. I have always heard it said that if you want to know why your kids act the way they do, just look in the mirror. And yes, I know that at some point, they have to take responsibility for their own actions/words, etc., but if sarcasm and frustration and impatience is the pretty much all they seen from those they live with, how can I expect them to extend grace, mercy, or love?
God is working in my heart and I believe He is working in the heart's of each of my girls too. I think we will have a short informal meeting tomorrow. They rebel when I say family meeting so I am hoping to do just a quick meeting of sorts to outline an attitude adjustment I am trying to make in my life and how they can help hold me accountable. What I am trying is maybe kin to reverse psychology in some ways, but I am hoping that while I am focusing on making changes in my attitude and asking them for their help to hold me accountable, it will spark a desire in them to change their attitudes as well.
As I spent more time thinking about this, I feel what God is trying to show me is that I have a Martha heart/attitude and what I need to do is develop a Mary heart/attitude. I really do a lot for my girls and for Tom, but I do it from a martyr standpoint more often than not. I expect them to see what I do and appreciate what I do and I pout and sulk if they don't and adopt an attitude of "poor me, I am so taken advantage of" attitude that they see through in a heartbeat. I really do have a pity party and I make them attend. Yes, I have a LOT on my plate to deal with, but the load is heavier than it should be because of the heavy hearted attitude I am doing it with. God wants a cheerful giver and that doesn't just pertain to money. He wants me to give my time and my efforts cheerfully as well.
So, while it has been a tough day all the way around, I think there has been good to come out of it as well. I have been feeling more and more focused as the evening went on and while I know I will stumble and make mistakes, I really feel like the rudder has shifted in my boat of life and I am heading in a new direction now.
Thanks for taking time to read this and thanks to all of you who lift me up in prayer regularly and take time to share what God lays on your heart for me. I love ya'll!
Post a Comment
Jun. 20, 2007 - Untitled Comment
 Posted by Happyhome
Awesome thoughts Donna! The Lord is really working in your heart and that will flow over into your home. It is very hard to look at the wrong attitudes and actions of our children and realized how we have contributed to them. Ouch...I hate it when that happens! Learning to love and give unconditionally will be a wonderful example to your family. Have you read the Five Love Languages? Though it is hard to speak the love language of each individual person in the family, the resulting rewards are limitless.
Praying for you and your family.
Hugs,
Angela
P.S. Thank you for all the encouragement you left on my blog. It made my day!
Permanent Link
|
