Aug. 23, 2007
The Death of a Child
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I'll start out by stating that I do not have a child that has experienced a physical death. We are foster parents and while it has its perks it occasionally has a down side. The difficulty is, not so much the letting go, but the insensitivity that can occur when those in the system forget that the foster parents aren't dealing simply with pieces of paper named John, Susan or Donavan, but little people. People that the foster family and the community surrounding the foster family, has invested in for six months, six weeks, six days or even six hours. They are little people that have been fed love and attention as well as the food and drink they require. From time to time a foster child is returned back to parents or other family members without much notice given to the foster family. Of course we want them to be in their permanent placement, but we must be given the time to process the loss, to rejoice for the healing of broken families, to give last little hugs and kisses, take pictures and just say goodbye to a short term son~daughter~sister~brother. Doing foster care has given us a new perspective on Gods involvement in our lives and the lives of our children. As foster parents we have to keep our hands open when it comes to the children we care for. The system decides when and how many to place with us and the duration of the stay. In like manner, the Lord decides when to bless us with children and how many to place in our homes and hearts. He decides also how long they will remain. Unlike man's system, He knows each one by name, none escape His loving gaze. He has a plan and purpose for each and every one whether they live only in utero for a few days and without being detected or whether they live on this earth, outliving their parents, to the age 120. As the Creator of the Universe, God has the right to give life to whom He chooses and bring to Himself, in His time, those He calls home. We are His stewards and the precious gifts of life He bestows upon us, however He chooses to-adoption or birth, belongs to Him. We must keep our hands open with the children we are given and offer them to their Lord that they may live according to His purposes. Even with the prospect of "death" for each child we care for hand have to hand over with or without warning, we would rather mourn and grieve and then receive another child and continue the cycle all over again, than never to have loved the little ones the Lord places in our home. If we can only give them a small piece of Jesus to take with them. Some smell or sound or sight that will someday remind them of the love of our precious Savior then may we mourn the loss of hundreds of children for Christ's sake. I have to believe that way with my own children too. May I bring to them all I have, even if it is only a willing heart with a womb that will not accommodate them. Even if it is for a few short minutes of holding them before they are whisked away by angels back into the Father's arms. Even if, Lord willing, they live to be 120. The Lord does not delight in our sorrow, but He provides the hope we need to trust in Him again! |
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