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Teaching Jeremiah, A Journey into the Mind of an Asperger's Child
Jan. 21, 2008
The Diagnosis
It was July 26, 2006 and I was eating dinner at The Olive Garden with my girlfriend Kim. We were just enjoying some great food and fellowship when I broached the subject that had been on my mind for quite some time. Jeremiah. I had some concerns and Kim, having a degree in special education, I knew would be honest, informative, and gentle.
Jeremiah was born on February 25, 2002. I had a normal pregnancy and he passed the APGAR test easily at the hospital. Jeremiah was the last of four children and seemed to develop similarly to my other children in the beginning. I guess it was his talking, or lack of, that first tipped us off that he was a little different. Jeremiah pointed at things he wanted, grunted, and spent fourteen hours of everyday blowing raspberries and slobbering down the front of his shirt. Everyone thought it was just adorable, including us. That is, until he didn't speak his first word before the age of three.
I discussed my concerns with Jerry's pediatrician who assured me that his delays were normal for a fourth child because he had siblings to speak for him and we, as parents, had gotten used to the nonverbal cues of babies and toddlers and so didn't wait for Jeremiah to speak before giving him what we knew he wanted. At Jeremiah's four-year check-up however, our concerns only grew. Jeremiah could not recognize any colors or differentiate between them. He could not count to five and failed his vision test solely because he could not recognize any of the shapes on the chart. Jerry was also not potty trained at this time, and it was by no fault of ours for a lack of trying. The pediatrician told us to go home and check back with her in six months if Jeremiah had not progressed.
Now here it was, five months later, and I was anxiously awaiting what wisdom Kim had for me over breadsticks and salad. Kim was concerned. She suggested I make another appointment with the pediatrician to discuss other abnormal behaviors of Jeremiah's. Jeremiah enjoyed solitary play, seemed agitated and stressed when in a group of his peers or asked to interact with them. He had an obsession for order, lining up his cars, trading cards, shoes, and anything else he had more than one of. He appeared to be visually stimulated by certain things and, as a result, would jump up and down and flap his arms rhythmically. Any change in Jeremiah's routine caused outbursts, anger, and tears. He wouldn't look you in the eyes when you spoke to him and he was oversensitive to noise stimulation.
I didn't know what any of this meant or what diagnosis could be insinuated from it, but on August 30, 2006, by recommendation from Jerry's pediatrician, a Christian child psychiatrist diagnosed Jeremiah with Asperger's Syndrome, an autism spectrum disorder. I remember leaving the appointment, not in tears or even shock, but thinking to myself, "Ok, now that I know what it is, I can at least begin to figure out how to deal with it." I called Kim. She cried. I went home and researched every Google site I found on Asperger's Syndrome. What was it? What caused it? Was it curable? Would it get worse? What quality of life would Jeremiah have as he grew up? Would he be able to function and live independently of John and I as his parents? Could I home school him or would he require some special needs education at a facility? Lots of questions, yes. Lots of answers? Some...and to some, still searching, waiting patiently on the Lord to unfold His plan to glorify Himself through the eyes of a little boy who doesn't see things quite the way we do.
I think one of the questions John and I have struggled with the most is why. I don't know that we'll ever receive our answer to that question this side of eternity, but we trust every day in the Lord's sovereignty to have created Jeremiah just the way He desired for him to be. He chose us to be his parents and we strive daily to live up to that challenge. God promises us in Jeremiah 29:11 that His plans are for good and not to harm us. That's the verse that we referred to when choosing what to name Jeremiah, our surprise fourth baby on a very limited budget.
We have not spent too much time researching the how aspect to Jeremiah's diagnosis. I had a friend e-mail me an article claiming immunizations and the mercury in them was the culprit. Honestly, this only made me feel guilty for doing what I thought was necessary to protect my son from life-threatening illnesses. You have to know that this friend is adamantly against all immunizations of any kind. I languished over the guilt this caused for a time and even went through some of Jerry's baby pictures at different points of his development to try and see if I could pinpoint at what time he might have been infected somehow and by what set of innoculations. I quickly learned that I was wasting my time and allowing the enemy a foothold into my life that was unnecessary and not God's will for myself, or Jeremiah.
We've been recommended to change Jeremiah's diet to strictly raw and organic, get him neuromuscular massage therapy, try acupuncture, behavior modification, etc... Once diagnosed, it's amazing how many people came out of the cracks in walls of our lives to offer their well-intention by misguided "professional" opinions. Now I am not totally discrediting the benefits some of these therapies might have had on Jeremiah, but the expense of each of them, coupled with the lack of proof that they would be worth that expense, turned John and I off to trying them. Our goal became not to try and "fix" or "heal" Jeremiah (because ultimately only Jehovah Rophe is capable of that), but to strive to help Jeremiah find his God-ordained place in the world and joyfully thrive right there in the midst of his Creator's will.
Need proof that God chose this diagnosis and path for our family? For two years of my high school education, I volunteered one or more class periods a day in the special education department at my school, tutoring the students there and making lifelong friendships with them and their families. I learned of their daily struggles and God gave me a compassion for them as I watched them work tirelessly at mundane things that I all too often admittedly took for granted. I received my degree in elementary education and was especially interested in the education of special needs children at graduation. Thirdly, at the time of Jeremiah's diagnosis I was nearly three months pregnant as a surrogate for a couple. The wife was the primary caregiver and guardian of her sixty-four-year-old uncle who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome! I had never heard of the condition before meeting them!
So here we are. After evaluations with psychiatrists, psychologists, speech pathologists, social workers, and special needs educators, John and I are working as a team to simply use the information we've obtained, our ability as parents under God's direction, and the wisdom He has granted us to raise and teach Jeremiah, our blessing and gift from the Lord...and it is a responsibility we do not take lightly either. And that's partly why I created this blog. It's a way to keep us accountable as we blog our efforts with Jerry. It's also a great outlet for those days our emotions and exhaustion as Jerry's parents get the better of us. So check back often, peruse our photo albums of Jerry, and feel free to comment and let us know what you think or even of any ideas and constructive criticism you might have. God bless you and thank you for taking the time to read and learn more about "Teaching Jeremiah".
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