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Jan. 21, 2008
"You Might Be An Aspie If..."
This is a great resource I found when trying to explain to people what Asperger's is and what makes Jeremiah different from his siblings and peers. It's a lighthearted approach to the topic and you might be surprised to find that even you have a few of these quirky traits at times. Enjoy!
"You Might Be An Aspie If..."
- ...if when you were a kid, and other kids wanted to play ball, you wanted to turn toy cars over and spin their wheels.
- ...you have passed many a happy minute watching a fan spin.
- ...the word "Hallmark" makes you think "When you care enough to send the very best", and you can remember tons of those kinds of "ad" lines and you use them in everyday speech. (Jeremiah says, “Eat Fresh” whenever we pass a Subway. After hearing me talk about specials at Publix, he also now repeats the phrase, “Buy one, get one.”)
- ...if you think an old fashioned egg beater is a very cool toy.
- …you get irritated when people come up to talk to you when you are doing something important like staring at a wall, watching the tires spin on an upturned bicycle, or trying to find a space in your mind that is not overwhelmed by noise.
- ...you have more than once gone out into public with socks that don't match or your shoes on the wrong feet and refuse to change them once you notice.
- …you go into a tizzy because a family member who ought to know better gives as a birthday present something you already have.
- …you not only line things up, you always line them up in a symmetrical arrangement.
- ...your get told not to step on someone's toes at work so you start looking at the floor while you walk because you took it literally. (Jeremiah cried when he heard that a girl’s fever had “broken”. We also cannot say it is raining cats and dogs outside! Also, ask him to hold his breath and he grabs his mouth in an attempt to literally hold his breath.)
- ...someone wants to get past you and says "excuse me" and you reply "sure" without moving a bit.
- …you run into someone three times without ever apologizing, but then run into a tree and stammer, “I’m sorry.”
- ...you collect action figures and have more than 300 and know the names of all of them (and their personalities), but you still mix up your relatives.
- ...you follow rules to the letter - but only if they make sense to you.
- …as a child you believed anything your family told you because you didn't comprehend the concept of lying or "teasing". So if your older brother told you that thunder was God bowling you believed him until you learned otherwise.
- …when you were a little kid playing "Doctor", you ignored the other kids and fixated on the stethoscope.
- …you've ever told somebody, "I'M NOT IMMATURE--I'M NOT, I'M NOT, I'M NOT, I'M NOT, I'M NOT!!!!"
- …when someone recommends that you ask Jesus into you heart, you form a mental picture of him changing the wallpaper in your left atrium. (Jeremiah ran in a panic to someone’s front door once because we commented that it looked like a tornado had ripped through their front yard, as they were in the process of cleaning out their garage. He took us literally!)
- …you own more than 3 different types of earplugs or sunglasses.
- …you play 'Name That Bruise!' in the bath, because you have no idea where you got them.
- …you hate having to talk on the phone and confine your conversational depth to 'Yup', 'Nope', and 'Bye'.
- …your hands are always covered in burns, cuts and scars, and the only ones you noticed getting are the really spectacular ones, but they never hurt anyway. (Jeremiah watched his finger burn after putting it in a candle and wax. He had third degree burns. He has touched light bulbs in the past and burned himself then too, but doesn’t remember doing it and doesn’t react to the pain. Other times, he could barely bump his head and scream bloody murder!)
- …you wave at people on billboards or manequins in store windows and then have a meltdown because they didn’t wave back at you. (Yes, Jeremiah has done this.)
- …you wave your arms, flap your hands, and jump up and down while watching your brothers and sister play video games because you are visually stimulated by the graphics. This behavior is called stimming, by the way.
- …you insist on sitting by the window in a restaurant so you can stare out the window and watch cars going by the whole time.
- …you cry because there are too many kids in your class, and you don’t really want to play with any of them.
- …you are loud yourself, but cry from the over-stimulation of hearing someone or something else be loud.
- …you find yourself always asking, “What’s that smell?”
- …you ask for cereal for breakfast, only to end up in tears because you really wanted waffles, and then cry because the waffles are not what your sister is eating and what your brother has looks even yummier. (By the way, this repeats at lunch and dinner too!)
- …you repeat yourself over and over and over because you just don’t feel like anyone is listening to you (or at least not responding to you).
- …you laugh when someone you love gets hurt or in trouble, but you don’t know why it’s funny and you know they are going to get mad at you for laughing.
- …it’s almost painful to have to look someone in the eyes.
- …you can’t tell the difference between someone really bleeding and a Halloween costume.
- …you think you too can shoot webs from your wrists like Spiderman, and then cry when it doesn’t work for you.
- …you ask if stuffed animals and baby dolls are real.
- …you habitually make strange noises in your throat because you “can’t help it”, even though it annoys everyone around you.
- …you wonder how many more songs the praise & worship team plans on singing or how much longer the pastor is going to speak and you voice your frustrations over these concerns with everyone around you (loudly).
- …you mimic others’ actions and speech like a parrot.
- …being kissed on the lips is out of the question.
- …getting your hair cut or brushing your teeth is almost painful and usually involves whining and/or crying.
- …you have to go to the bathroom and your mom gives you instructions. She tells you to pull down your pants and underwear, lift the toilet seat, go pee, flush the toilet, and then pull your underwear and pants back up. You then stand in the bathroom so long trying to remember what she said to do first that you pee your pants. (For Jeremiah, following simple directions means giving him only one or maybe two tasks to complete at a time.)
- …you hold your pencil with two hands to keep it steady. (Jeremiah’s fine motor skills are very poor.)
- …you remember that your mom promised you a Slurpee on the way home from the store (and you remind her often), but you can’t seem to remember how to put your underwear on and that the little pocket goes in the front.
- …the doctor looks in your ears during a check-up and tells you he sees a little birdie in each one. Then you go around all day telling everyone you have a birdie in your ear and then get upset because he won’t come out so you can see him.
- …the doctor tells you to count backwards from 10 and you turn around on the exam table and start counting.
- ...your mom tells you that dinner will be ready in two minutes. After thirty seconds, you scream, “Is it almost done yet?” You keep screaming this until dinner really is done.
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Mar. 24, 2008 - I can relate...
I would like to add you to my friends list, if that's ok. I think I found you by clicking on friends of friends.
Belynda