We've had a good few weeks, just enjoying the summer and doing some light school.  We do a lot of swimming this time of the year, hanging out with friends, and enjoying freedom from routine...well some routine.  With Jeremiah, there is no spontaneity really.  He loves his routine and we love peace and so we follow one pretty closely to ensure enjoying the other!

Last week we went to Busch Gardens summer nights with friends of ours.  Jerry was in a giant moonwalk with all of the other kids and, of course, some he didn't know.  I was standing there talking to my girlfriend when a mom walked Jerry over to me and asked, "Is this your son?"  Ooohh, the dreaded question!  I could read by the woman's tone of voice that I wouldn't be so proud to answer in the affirmative this time.  She went on to inform me, "I just thought you should know that he was in the moonwalk hitting, pushing, and kicking kids he doesn't even know!"  Ouch!  I thanked her for telling me and asked Jeremiah if he was misbehaving in the moonwalk.  He admitted he was, but reluctantly. 

Now Jerry already has issues with determining what's appropriate play.  Then there's Jerry's two older brothers who enjoy a good "smack down" wrestling match every now and then.  They even have friends who's dad engages them in rough-housing whenever we are over, pinning each other down mercilessly until someone screams, "UNCLE"!!  Therefore, Jeremiah often thinks it's okay to want to play with others this same way, even total strangers.

Three days later, we were at Adventure Island with four other families.  One of the moms overheard two women talking back and forth about a "little boy who's a real brat".  He was pushing his raft into other kids and splashing water at them.  "I told him to stop, but he just looked at me.  He didn't listen.  What a brat!  I wonder where his mother is.  I know he's too young to be over here by himself."  When one of the women asked who the child was, the other pointed right at Jeremiah.  My girlfriend was dumbfounded and didn't know whether or not she should defend Jerry and so she just came to tell me what she'd overheard.  I was not far off.  In the same part of the pool really, just eating lunch with the other kids and families.  Jerry finished his sandwich and is a very good swimmer and so I gave him permission to re-enter the pool we were sitting next to and play.

Again, Jeremiah sees his siblings and friends splashing, dunking, and doing all of the same things he was doing  to try and get the attention of the other kids in the pool.

Now I have been guilty in the past of thinking ill of others' children without knowing anything about them, but boy does it hurt when the shoe is on the other foot!  It sure has made me more sensitive now to the possible special needs of other kids and the myriad of reasons that could be behind their "bad" behavior.  Some are just plain brats, but then there are others.  And don't get me wrong.  Jerry does have a brat element as well.  I do not excuse his behavior with his diagnosis and it is why I did not defend him in either situation.  I simply told him what he'd done was not acceptable and we talked about other ways he could have "played" with the children.

Anyone have any suggestions?  I thought about this for next time..."Thank you very much for letting me know that my son was playing unkindly.  He has Asperger's Syndrome and struggles in social situations.  We are trying to teach him approproate play and behavior with other kids and, thanks to you letting us know about this incident, have another opportunity to teach him by example."  Then I take Jerry over to apologize to the offended kids.  I don't want to use Jerry's diagnosis as an excuse for his behavior, but do want to use it as a teaching tool, both for him and for adults quick to judge others.

God is so good though.  Here I was feeling down about what had happened on both occasions.  It's so hard to get the hurtful words someone says about you or your child out of your head, isn't it?  I wonder if Mary remembered all of the filth spewn at Jesus as well as she remembered the words spoken to her upon His birth.  Anyway, yesterday morning was teacher appreciation and training at our church.  Under the topic of behavior issues and/or problems, our children's ministry coordinator spoke about Jeremiah and other special needs children in our program.  She reiterated that God put these children in our classrooms and at our church for a purpose and to be loved on and taught about God the same as any other child in the program.  She said that whatever needed to be done to accomodate them would be, even if it meant assigning them their own class or volunteer to sit with them in class.  Thank you Jesus for replacing the hurt with love and acceptance.