Ok, I was soooo not going to post this, but after reading "A Regular Guy" by Laura Shumaker and her willingness to share the good, the bad, and the ugly situations while raising her autistic son Matthew (including his first erection in church while he was STANDING to take communion), I decided to share this event.  Besides, weeks later, it is a little comical...I have to admit.

I had bought a bra at Victoria's Secret and didn't care for the way it fit.  One Saturday night we decided we'd go walk around the mall for a while and I could return the bra as well.  Now with three boys, we don't all go into Victoria's Secret.  That would be a giggling, pointing, and whispering disaster.  John usually hangs back with them at the Disney or dollar store to look around while I go in alone.  That was the plan on this night. 

The mall was pretty crowded, as it was a Saturday night.  We were approaching the area where Victoria's Secret was.  It was within eyesight, about 40 or so yards away.  I glanced in its direction and signaled to John that I would be casually and nonchallantly heading that way when the scantilly clad manequins in the window caught the attention and eye of Jeremiah.

He let out a loud "WOOHOO", and before either of us could compute what was happening, he bolted at top speed towards the store.  John looked like a deer in the headlights, not knowing if he should be the one to break into a run after him.  The other kids, knowing the embarrassment that was about to come upon them started walking towards a sitting area, away from both John and I.  I couldn't blame them.  I wanted to just walk away as well.  Instead, I sprinted to rescue us all, dodging and weaving my way through shoppers in my way!

I was too late to save everyone who was in or near the vicinity of Victoria's Secret the scene that was about to take place.  OF COURSE the store was having it's annual bra sale and large round display tables full of their wares were all out front.  Now we all know what the bras at Victoria's Secret look like, right?  They're not your regular run-of-the-mill bras.  They're padded, wired, and shaped as if an invisible woman is already donning them.

Within what seemed like seconds, Jeremiah was in the store, had grabbed one of the bras from the table (a huge DD no less or so it looked like on him), and was still hooting and hollering like a banshee.  He turned to face the onlookers at the opening to the store, squated with his knees bent, leaned back slightly, pulled the bra tight across the front of his chest, and began yelling, "I GOT BOOBIES!  I GOT BOOBIES!"

Yep.  It was quite the scene.  I reached Jerry out of breath from my mad dash, snatched the bra from his grip, tossed it onto the nearest table, and scooped him up with one arm like a sack of groceries, all the while with him still laughing and declaring to everyone watching that he's got "boobies".  Onlookers were snickering mostly, especially the guys, but there were a few more repulsed than amused by Jerry's display.  The Victoria's Secret salespersons were not too pleased with his spectacle either, to say the least.

I handed Jerry off to John, who whisked him away to where the other kids were sitting and proceeded to exchange my bra before we called it a day and ended our excursion to the mall, all the while ever so thankful that no one was there that we knew and we would likely never see any of those same people again!