Oct. 23, 2007 - Changing a Habit
During my seminars, I always discuss teaching children how to use a proper pencil grip. One of the questions I am asked most frequently is how to change the grip once it is improperly established. My reply is that this is one of those difficult habits to break, and with most children it is nearly impossible. Once a child has learned to hold his pencil a particular way, changing that grip is next to impossible.
My oldest son has developed an improper pencil grip as I did not realize he was holding the pencil wrong when he first learned to write. For years, I have nagged him and harassed him about it, but to no avail; a habit had been formed and would not be abandoned merely because his mother wanted it to be so. Naturally, his penmanship has suffered because his grip did not allow him sufficient control over the pencil’s movement.
A couple weeks ago I caught myself nagging him yet again, only to watch him ignore my well-intentioned pleas and continue writing the way he always has. I stopped and thought about what we were doing. He has a habit that I want to change. However, he doesn’t care about the habit. So guess what? The habit will continue unchanged, whether I like it or not. I prayed about how I could help my son actually want to change his pencil grip. A change in habit has to come from within, and somehow I had to help him want to make that change.
I remembered when he was 4 years old and how we wanted him to stop sucking his thumb. We set up a reward or goal for him if he could stop sucking his thumb for 21 days straight. You see, if you can do something consistently for 21 days in a row, you will have established a new habit. He was able to stop sucking his thumb for 16 days until I found him sucking it during a nap. We started the count over again. This time he did it all the way to 21 days! He was able to earn the prize he so desperately wanted. My question now was what would equate to a Little Tikes car carrier for this 14yo? The answer: money!
I casually asked my son the next day, “Would you like to have $21?” His head shot up, but he wisely asked, “What do I have to do to get it?” I had his attention. I replied, “Change your pencil grip. I want you to hold your pencil correctly, and if you can do that for 21 days, you will get $21 in cash.” He was now motivated!
He was allowed to use one of the Stetro Grips, which I happen to sell, but he was told he would have to go without the grip at day #10 and beyond. The grip had to be his alone, not aided. He agreed, and we set up a chart on the back of my whiteboard for him to record each day he was able to write with the proper grip throughout the day. He understood that if he reverted to his old grip at any time, we would erase the dates and start over.
When we hit the mid-way point, he was required to lose the Stetro grip and go solo. He remarked how it felt weird to hold the pencil his old way now, and he was confident he could continue for all 21 days.
Sure enough, last Tuesday, October 16, he reached the 21st day, and he has succeeded in changing his pencil grip. I was able to award him with twenty-one $1 bills, and we had a celebration.
After this experiment, I will now have to retract my statement that a pencil grip is next to impossible to change. Instead, I will say that it can be changed when the student is sufficiently motivated to change it.
Comments
Oct. 23, 2007 - Thanks!
Posted by Sandpiper
I just stumbled upon your blog and your post was just what I needed. My 8yr ds has a hard time holding his pencil properly. He has since he first learned to print. He used to complain that his hand hurt and his fingers got tired. I did purchase a 'grip' at an art store and it seemed to help, but last week I found him holding it incorrectly again. I think $ might motivate him as well!
Nov. 14, 2007 - Hmmmm
Posted by WashingtonState
I wonder if this would work to get our 12 year old to stop chewing her nails. I know it hasn' t much to do with writing or spelling although I see her chewing while reading!
She's been nail chewing since she was 2 years old. Drives me nuts.
I'm glad your son changed his pencil grip. Great idea.
Marie
Edited by WashingtonState on Nov. 15, 2007 at 1:36 AM
