Dead words :like, fun,lots,then,got, get

My bedroom

I walk into my bright blue and green room. I admire my neatly made bed with the blue comforter. I share my room with my sister Bethany. Her bed has a blue and green comforter with three small square pillows and a huge hairy stuffed dog she just got from James after she was in the hospital. AS I sit in the padded green chair next to our green desk I look over and see the bright blue dresser the holds my neatly folded clothes. Ha ha. Above the dresser is a large round mirror that has a sparly green scarf draped over it. Our names are on the wall in block letters painted in blue and green. The are also many posters and pictures on the walls. There is a light tan carpet that I just vacumed that covers the floor. I like my room now but soon when Bethany moves out I will change many things and it will be my own room.

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Posted by skmarlow

Your ship drawing is well done and I especially like the added touch of the sun's rays shining down. I hope you enjoyed the hard task of trying to imagine what an "awesome" "cool" ship would look like. If you peek ahead to lesson 7, you will see the ship I mean when I mean "awesome." LOL
Good "dead" words. You came up with some that I haven't thought of ("got" is just as dead as can be! And so is "just.") :-)
The description of your bedroom is vivid, with good word choices. I almost found a dead word (neatly) but the way you use it means "orderly" so I don't think it's a dead word. When I see "neatly made" bed I think of a bed that is smooth on top, etc.
Did you mean "sparkly" in that one sentence? That's how I read it, but you're missing the "k."
I could really see yours and Bethany's room. It sounds like the entire house received a good cleaning for this assignment.
Good job!

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