“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

Proverbs 31:11 and 12

I do believe that my husband safely trusts in me. That is not what spoke to me. The last part of the verse is what spoke to me today. As I looked at the verse I began to wonder. Am I showing my husband that this is enough. I count myself as blessed that I have a good Christian husband. He works very hard to provide for us because it is important to him that I have the privileged of staying home with my children. There are so many men my age and in my generation that are only concerned about themselves and what they need and what toys they can get for themselves. I am blessed to have a husband who is not like that. But am I by my actions showing him that this is enough for him. Does my husband have no need of spoil and am I doing him good?

I was not raised by a stay at home mom. I know that not everyone can be. But I don't think I was raised to be submissive to my husband as the bible commands or even told what that means. I am always searching for how to fulfill this commandment. I am worried that I demand he does more for me and that I am important and well you know all of those feminist ideals. Do I have some needs that need to be fulfilled I think every woman does. But do I require that he fulfill my every want and desire in order to be content? I think that is what I battle against. I am not nor am I supposed to be the most important person in this marriage. And I think maybe lately I have been trying to be.

We had an argument( a stupid one) about whether or not to stop at a fast food place the other day. I said" Who is the one keeping the finances? I know whether or not we have the ability to go out to eat" To which my husband replied " Who is the one who is supposed to make the final decision" OUCH! It took me till later to realize what he really  said. He is the one who is the head of our household. Not me. Just because we have the ability to do things doesn't mean we should do them. Should he take my council in this area. Yes he should ask me where are we in our finances since he has delegated this task to me. Should I have say on what we do with our finances. NOPE! It is like a business. Should the book keeper tell the president of the company what to do with the funds they keep track of. No they are just the keeper of the ledger. Does that mean the president wouldn't ask how much money do we have before he spends a million dollars. There is a huge difference between the bookkeeper and the president of the company.

I am afraid that I have not been showing my husband that he is enough for me and I have been constantly trying to take over his role as head of the household. Pray for me that the Lord will show me my boundaries and help me to have a quiet and content spirit in this area. And Pray for me as I again have to humble myself and ask forgiveness of my husband for again trying to be his boss. ( I really don't want his job. Too much responsibility. lol)