Well Lord willing we will be closing on our house this afternoon. It has been a long process. From what I hear though with all the new rules with homebuying it is going to get harder and harder for first time home buyers to get a house. Unless you have excellent credit.

I do have to confess something though. Monday we thought we were going to close on the house and we didn't then the mortgage broker called and told us that we needed 875 more dollars. Not for closing costs or down payment. Just to have sitting in the bank account. To show we had a certain amount of accetts. Well we had maxed out all the money we had. We had two paychecks and all our savings still sitting in the bank and we still needed more money. I cracked. I threw a fit such as I haven't since I was 5 years old. (not my bust day) I was so upset. How in the world were we going to do this. And without the money we couldn't get the loan. After all of this stress and worry we may not even get the house. After I finally calmed down I called a friend of mine. She and her husband loaned us the money(to hold and look at basically) and she had to sign a paper to say it was a gift. You know in case we were international terrorists or something. ARGH!

Ok I had to tell you that to get to this part. The next morning I get up and my devotion really slapped me in the face. It was about having idols in your life. Here is how you can tell if something has become an idol and you are no longer doing it for God's glory. When it is taken away or challenged you get ANGRY(check) , FRUSTRATED,(check check), and SELF PITYING(check check check). OUCH! that was me in a nutshell. We have prayed throughout this process to get the house. Once we found a house and started the home buying process I had quit praying. When things got challenging I got angry,frustrated, and self pitying. I had put my faith in the mortgage company and all of those people. It was like "ok God you found me a house I can take it from here" DUH not my brightest moment. So he decided to show me who really has control over everything. I have learned something through this. God doesn't always change us sometimes he just gives us opportunities to change. Like when someone prays for patience. He doesn't just make them more patient. He gives them opportunities to learn patience. We are challenged and how we react gives us opportunities to grow and learn.

He had given me more than one opportunity to go to him and pray for strength and faith and patience. But I failed everytime. (I am kind of slow sometimes. Just call me Peter. lol) Finally he just put it there in front of me in black and white. THEN I GOT IT!!!. Well I immediately hit my knees and thanked God for showing me my sin and asked for forgiveness. Then I called my husband and asked for his forgiveness ( I had lashed out at him more than once). As soon as I had done all of that ( I mean almost immediately) the realtor called with a closing time. I am so glad he is the one in control of the universe and not me. lol

Anyway I just had to share. Just be careful anything can become an idol when you aren't using it for God's glory or you start leaving him out.

I have been reminded by my dear friend that it is Spring and therefore time for Spring Cleaning. AAAAHHHH!!! lol

I actually love this time of year. I can't wait till it gets warmer and I can open up my windows and let the fresh air in. Then once the air is clean I want the rest of my home to be fresh and clean too.

Well this year is a little different. I am moving right at the begining of spring cleaning time. So I get to do my cleaning and move into a fresh new home. Usually during this time of year I clear out the clutter. Well moving is the perfect opportunity to do that. I am giving away or throwing away anything I don't absolutely love. I already have a big pile of boxes for Goodwill.

This week I am working on my room. I have already done my girls room and gotten rid of all of the clothes that I want to pass down or get rid of. I have downsized the toys by a huge amount. Three boxes full. Hubby will be helping my son downsize. So I am going to work on my things.

I have the usual three different sizes of clothes that women have in their closet. I am getting rid of all of the ones I don't absolutely love and that don't fit. So that is my goal for this week. To downsize my things in my room and simplify simplify simplify.

I am also tackling the cabinets and junk drawers to get rid of things that aren't needed. Lots of work so off I go.

"The emphasis upon competition in modern life is connected with a general decay of civilised standards such as must have occurred in Rome after the Augustan age. Men and women appear to have become incapable of enjoying the more intellectual pleasures. The art of general conversation, the knowledge of good literature—who in our age cares for anything so leisurely?

Some American students took me walking in the spring through a wood on the borders of their campus; it was filled with exquisite wild flowers, but not one of my guides knew the name of even one of them. What use would such knowledge be? It could not add to anybody’s income.

The cure for this lies in admitting the part of sane and quiet enjoyment in a balanced ideal of life."

Bertrand Russell.

Grace was a perfect name for her for grace personified is what she was. Classy and beautiful. And Feminine. No wonder she became a princess. She was so lovely. Now that was a role model. Now who do our daughters have to look up too. Britney Spears? Lindsey Lohan?  It seems like every young lady thinks now that she has to dress like trash to fit in. When they get into a size seven you can't find beautiful girly dresses for girls any more. Not unless you buy them at Easter and even then maybe maybe not. They even have a word for it. Prostitots. UGH!

It is a frightening thing to be the mother of two girls these days. They are bombarded from birth it seems by designers and toy makers wanting to sexualize them at younger and younger ages. Bratz dolls and clothing for example. They just look like hookers. They preach being hot even in the Bratz Babyz. Not to mention the emphasis on materialism. I was having a discussion with my mom about the difference between Barbies and Bratz with my mom. I said " at least Barbie had a job". She has been a vetranarian, an Avon Lady, a doctor, an astranaut. I would much rather my daughter play with Barbie. However, even Barbie has strayed with the My Scene dolls.

Can't we just keep our little girls little girls. With bows and ribbons and baby dolls that look like babys not tramps. Sorry if I have a different standard than that of society. Even I have slipped sometimes into the pressure myself . But no more. I want to teach my girls to carry themselves with grace and beauty. To speak softly and have concern for others. To be modest doesn't mean you have to be frumpy and formless. Look at all of the pictures from the victorian era. Many of them were completely covered yet very beautiful.

The more I try to shop for clothes the more upset I get. I went to walmart the other day and could not find one single skirt in the women's section. Not one. Have we strived so much to be like men that we can't even buy a skirt in walmart. And a long skirt like I like. Forget about it. That is why I have taken up sewing. If I can't buy what I like I will make it. And for my girls as well.

Sorry girls I don't think dressing like trash will ever land you a prince like Miss Grace Kelly.

So many times I have been told. " Why don't you put them in school and save your sanity." "Or you really need to have some things to do on your own" Oh yes the ever elusive "me time". Here are the flaws with this arguement. Number 1 If you know me you must know that my sanity was sacrificed a long time ago. lol But Number 2 is the most important. I don't do this for me. I do this because I believe this is what God has called me to do. What higher calling could there be than to be a Wife and Mother. Than to have the calling to teach my own children. Is it allot of resposibility? Yes absolutely. But does that mean I shoudn't do it? How far would anyone get if they decided against a job because it was too much responsibility?  Not far.

I used to have a problem with this. I used to feel like I was a lesser person because I stayed home with my children. I used to always feel the need to justify my choice. That I needed to combat the image that I was a mindless, brainless,doormat. I now know that I am not a lesser being because I CHOSE to stay at home and use my talents for my children and my family. I have been reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God. If you have not read this book I suggest you get it and read it. I will even lend you my copy if you promise to give it back and don't mind reading through all of the parts I have underlined. I want to share with you one of those passages.

"A godly keeper at home is absolutely not a lesser human being, a mindless robot, or a placid doormat under submission to all men; rather she is created in the very image of God and of equal worth and value compared to man (Genesis 1:26-28). She is a the crown of her husband (Proverbs 12:4), a helper suitable for him (Genesis 2:18). Because she trusts God's wisdom in establishing perfect order for His creation, she willingly submits to her own husband as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24)."

I no longer feel the need to justify myself. I know I am doing what God has called me to do. I also know that what I am doing can have generational consequences. I am, with God's help, creating generations of soldiers for Christ. I realize that it was my own lack of self worth that caused me to feel like I was a lesser person because I didn't "work". It doesn't matter how others see me. What matters is if I am doing God's will for my life. I believe that I am.

I am also learning that it isn't all about me. That by dying to self everyday I am following Christ's example. As a result of this I have begun to really enjoy my role as Wife and Mother and keeper of my home.Isn't it funny how in the worlds view it is perfectly acceptable to be a housekeeper or work with children as long as it is not your own home or children. Yes those people get "paid" to do their work. But my pay is far beyond money. It is in being able to see my children grow and learn. I don't miss a single a-ha moment. To see them grow closer together. I remember when I first went back to work after my oldest was born I cried thinking about maybe not being there to see his first step or hear his first words. And I wasn't the babysitter heard his fist word and it just broke my heart. I am so blessed to have a husband who was raised by a stay at home mother. He understands my desire to be home.

Please don't get me wrong. I am not judging anyone who does not have the opportunities I have. I am just saying that I believe this is what I have been called to do and why I do it.

I no longer worry about justifying myself. My entire outlook has changed. I don't need to worry about my value to others. Because I know that for my husband and my Lord my value is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10). What more do I need than that. What can you tell me about me that tops that? 

I found this poem on the Ladies Against Feminism website. I just thought it was so good and to the point. To often we forget what we have been called by God to do.

Words of a Housewife
By Chelsea Peterson

God, I want to do great things for you,

And speak to all the nations!

God replies:

That’s well and good,

But for now

Fix your children’s complications.

Lord, I want to straighten up the world,

Feed the hungry and fulfill someone’s wishes!

God says:

Fine, but for the present,

You need to wash the dishes.

Lord, I want to preach, proclaim your name

And bring salvation to the earth!

God says:

Good! Then teach your children

And preach my name to those you’ve given birth.

At the end of the day,

I think of all I’ve done.

But as I look it seems,

I’ve accomplished nothing for the Son!

God I had no time to witness one on one,

I couldn’t join my church group,

They said I missed out on lots of fun.

My household is the only thing

That managed to be cleaned,

My neighbor is the only one,

Besides my family I could feed.

The only ones I’ve read Your Word

Are those within my home.

God I’ve done so very little

And I feel so all alone!

God says:

I’ve seen the way you cleaned and cooked

And taught your kids My name.

Tomorrow morning at eight o’ clock,

I’ll watch you do the same.

The work you do at home,

Though no one really sees,

Is helping to raise little ones

To grow and worship me.

My ways are not your ways,

I don’t expect you yet to see,

But the precepts that you’ve taught your children,

Will help others bow the knee.

Your children will reach out to others,

Your example in their mind.

They’ll do great work for Me

And their children will respond in kind.

The hand that rules the world,

Also rocks the cradle.

Because of you, your children love Me,

All their hearts are stable.

Though your house is your domain,

Your tasks seem rather plain,

Your efforts will reach the multitudes,

Though from humble work they came.

© Copyright 2002-2007 by LAF/BeautifulWomanhood.org

I write today an absolutely frazzled female. I try very hard not to be a yeller.  I really don't want to have to yell at my kids to get them to do something. However, Lilly is about to drive me into the nut house. Every time I turn a corner in my home I am greated by a new masterpiece from my little artist all over yet another wall. I have yelled at her,I have spanked her, I have grounded her from tv and video games for a week. Nothing seems to help. So finally I fell to my knees and prayed. Lord please help me to find a solution. I know that she is so smart and creative that she just can't hold it in. Then it came to me. Stop cleaning it up. I didn't do this. I didn't color on the walls. So why do I have to clean it up. As we speak my little artist is scrubbing every bit of wall in this house with even a speck of crayon on it. If this does not break her of it I am out of ideas.

There are times I wonder if I am a glutton for punishment staying at home with my children and homeschooling them. We can barely(sometimes not even ) make ends meet,my house is always a mess, not to mention everyone has to question my own intelligence and ability constantly. If it was not for my faith in God and knowing that he has called me to this and in turn will give me the strength, I think I would have given up long ago. Yes the thought has entered my mind that if I put them in public school I would be down to one child during the day. Oh the things I could get done with just one child all day long. Well so much for the blissful, organized, super homeschool mom. But don't we all make sacrifices for our children. I love my children so much that I am willing to sacrifice my time,energy, and yes sometimes my sanity, to make sure that they are brought up in the wisdom of God. I DO believe this is my calling. Most days I find it very fulfilling. But this has been ONE OF THOSE DAYS. lol  This sacrifice for my children doing what God has called and commanded me to do is nothing compared to the sacrifice that he made for me.

My mom used to sing that Sandy Patty song One Day at a Time. It definately comes to mind today.

OK seriously I have e-mailed all of the seamstresses I know to get an Apron for Christmas. I have a Pampered Chef Apron which is one of the kind that have the string around the neck. I hate those. It is stiff and it hurts my neck. I always fold it over and wear it as a half apron. I have started wearing my apron more because I have the tendancy to wipe my hands on my clothes and it only makes sense to keep my clothes cleaner with an apron. Then I will wipe my hands on it instead.  Anyway I found this article on Aprons that I really liked and I have to say it touched my heart. I never thought of an apron this way. I remember when I was little and my Granny was our babysitter we always used to play with her aprons. It was her badge that said I am a mommy and granny. She always wore an apron on Sunday afternoon when she made lunch. Or if she was cooking a pie for whatever function at church. So aprons hold fond memories for me and I want my children to have those same memories.

Allot of this article reminded me of my Granny.

Here is the article.

A Cherished Apron

                                    by Sandy Williams Driver

Aprons were originally designed to cover and protect the garment worn underneath. Years ago, large wardrobes were a luxury not shared by many women and washing of that clothing was not done on a frequent basis. Garments were sometimes worn four or five times and aprons served a practical purpose, to cover the dress underneath and to protect it from soiling while cooking and cleaning.

Most of our female ancestors owned many aprons, which were made from cotton and covered the bodice and skirt of their dress. These full aprons were worn by homemakers, as well as nurses and teachers. During this time in history, men also wore aprons as an essential article of clothing in the blacksmith, carpentry and baker trades.

During the 1950s, society celebrated the role of homemaker and aprons were worn as a mantle of pride. The famous symbol of domesticity was made into a fashion statement by popular television shows such as "Leave it to Beaver" and "Ozzie and Harriet." The "June Cleaver era" half-aprons were embellished with rickrack, ruffles, buttons, and appliques. Women often changed from their cooking aprons into serving aprons, which matched tablecloths or place mats.

While wearing aprons may not be very popular anymore, they still serve the same purpose: to protect the clothing underneath. There is nothing more frustrating to a cook than to purchase a new blouse or shirt and get grease splatters or sauce drippings on it the first time it is worn. Digging an heirloom apron out of a trunk or even selecting a new one at a kitchen supply store can save money on stain removers and dry cleaning, as well as preserving expensive clothing.

I cherish the many aprons I have tucked away in drawers and closets. The symbol of homemaking most vividly emblazoned in my memory is bright yellow with four large black and white polka dot pockets lining the front. Mother made it from scraps early in her domestic career to hold lots of wooden clothespins. She called it her "hanging out clothes apron" and never dared cook a meal with it on.

"It's too ragged," she said with a discerning look. I would have gladly worn it all day long because it smelled like sunshine and felt like home. When I wrapped those strings around my waist, I was a Mommy, which was every little girl's dream in that long ago era. I loved to fill the empty pockets with crayons, rubber balls and little metal jacks while our sheets and socks blew in the afternoon breeze.

I have a long, black and white gingham striped that belonged to my Grandmother Williams and a pretty red gingham one passed down to me, which was made by my grandmother Morrow in the early 1900s from a scrap of leftover curtain material.

When my aunt Mamie died a few years back, I added one of her green flowered aprons to my nostalgic collection. It was my daughter's favorite when she was a toddler and she insisted on wearing it whenever she played with her assortment of dolls, even though the big wide strings wrapped around her tiny body three times. "I have to wear an apron to be the Mommy," she proclaimed. I have taught her well.

Some people say that aprons are dead and women today don't want to wear that uniform anymore. The pretty, frilly ones are carefully wrapped in memories and lay tucked away in the bottom of our hearts. They are a reminder of our mothers and grandmothers and the enticing smells of a home cooked meal. These historical artifacts remind us what is important and encourage us to celebrate women's history.

Last Sunday after church, I went into the kitchen to prepare dinner for my family. I didn't want to risk my white blouse getting dirty, so I reached for the serviceable twill apron kept hanging on a hook by the stove. It has no pockets or embellishments adorning the front, only the simple phrase, "Kiss the Cook." Even though it serves its purpose, it always feels too stiff hanging around my neck.

I hung the utilitarian apron back on its display hook and retrieved a faded one from a nail in my utility room. Embedded deep in the folds are dried tears, tiny handprints and a light dusting of White Lily flour. While I cooked, my son tucked a wildflower into one of my polka dot pockets, and even without instructions, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. The comforting apron strings that tie me to my ancestors may not be high fashion anymore, but then again, neither am I.

I finally finished knitting my first scarf for Tristan. It is the first thing I ever knitted. I am so proud of myself I could just burst. I even got it done in time for winter. WOOHOOO

Sorry it is a little blurry. Something was wrong with my camera.

During our retreat we were given notebooks with our names on them. We were supposed to write in everyones and they were supposed to write in ours. Words of encouragement and things like that. Well I just read mine this morning. I was suprised to find at least four of the messages for me were about homeschooling and me being a stay at home mom. One said that it was humbling to a mother that works to see someone who chose in this day and age to be a stay at home mom and to homeschool her children. Two or three said that teaching my children and bringing them up in the way of the lord was the right thing to do. A few were from older ladies whose children were grown. I was overwhelmed. I think as homeschool moms we are often on guard because so many people seem to disapprove of what we do. To hear these words of encouragement from these ladies who I cherish so dearly was so encouraging. I just cried. Just when you feel everyone is against you, you find out that someone believes in what you are doing. I thank the Lord for bringing me these ladies and their friendship and encouragement.

Above is one of my all time favorite paintings. Isn't it beautiful. This painting used to hang over my Granny's kitchen table. It is called Daily Bread. Sometimes when David gets home from school late and he is eating his dinner by himself at the table when he prays before his meal it makes me think of this. David wishes he had that much hair though.lol I wish I could afford to buy this. Some day I hope to be able to hang it over my kitchen table. So many times some of us forget to pray before every meal. EVERY one. It doesn't matter if we are out to dinner or home or wherever we are we should pray. We should ask for God's blessing and thank him for the food that he has provided us. Because it is HE who has provided it. I pray that I may never be caught eating without blessing my food. Why do we take God for granted so much. Do we have to much of the sense of entitlement that has become a curse on our nation. Just thinking. As we approach Thanksgiving I hope we all remember that every day should be a day of Thanksgiving. For we are all richly blessed.

What a wonderful weekend I had. Saturday I got to go and make pumpkin rolls. One of the highlights of my year. I really look forward to it all year long. It is such fun and the fellowship with the other women, all of whom are my dearest friends, is just the best. It is such a blessing to have christian friends who you can talk about anything with. When I say anything I mean ANYTHING. We talked about football, politics, babies, and a million other things. We laughed,mostly at my mistakes, and cried together. All of this while making the best pumpkin rolls in the county. lol I can not wait until my girls are old enough to be in the kitchen more and we can fellowship like that together. That is one of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving, cooking with my mom and aunt and sister and grandma and talking. You have the best conversations in the kitchen.

Then  after I got home I rested just a little with hubby and then we had some friends over. We talked and ate some of that wonderful pumpkin roll. We played a game and then Amanda showed me how to use my sewing machine. I am so excited to use it now. My first project is to make matching Christmas Jumpers for my girls. Then I want to work on matching aprons for me and Lilly. She loves to help me cook. Her favorite thing is to crack the eggs so if you get a little piece of eggshell in any of my cooking it is not my fault. I try my best to get all of it out. lol

Then on Sunday I had nursery duty. I had my darling Olivia and three other babies. I was standing there at one point with Olivia playing, one barely walking and one crawling at my feet and another one in my arms crying and I just felt so at peace. It was like my heart was at home in that environment. Even though I get frustrated and overwhelmed at times I know at home is where I am supposed to be. With my children.

I guess what I am trying to say is that after this weekend I feel renewed. It started with my ladies retreat and continued on into this weekend. I even went to bed at 8 last night. I feel so renewed and rejuvinated that I am ready to clean my house and get it ready to put out the Christmas decorations. Bring it on Holidays I will be ready for you.

Ok. It has been requested that I blog about my ladies retreat so here it is. lol I arrived on Thursday and since most of us did not arrive till Friday we got the entire evening too ourselves. It was nice. I read my bible. I read the book of Acts. I don't know why that is just what I was led too. It was so nice to be able to lay in bed and read all evening. Then we went out for dinner. Friday we still had all day to ourselves. Of course I went shopping. The first place I went is where I spent most of the little money I had. Jennifer can appreciate it. I spent my money at a discount book store. lol I found classic novels for kids 6 for 10 dollars. So I got Tristan The Time Machine by Jules Vern,Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain of course. I also got him The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and The Call of the Wild. Then I got Lilly Little Women and The Secret Garden. Two of my all time favorite books. These are the condensed versions of these books specially set up for young readers. I hope they will like them and then want to read the entire book one day. I also bought Tristan The Box Car Children. One of my favorite books at his age and also , I found out later, one of my mom's favorite books. He is really enjoying it and it is one of the books he will read to get his book it award this month. I bought myself Wuthering Heights which I have always wanted to read. Then I found the best deal of all. I found the book that includes all of the Narnia books for 8 dollars. Can you believe that ? It is usually at least 22 dollars. I was so excited. Now I don't have to keep checking them out of the library. Tristan was excited too. He loves these books. Now it is our bedtime story. We are on The Horse and His Boy.

Of course we also had a full weekend of devotions based on the book If You Want To Walk on Water You Have To Get Out Of the Boat. Lots of lessons on Faith, Courage, and How big is your God.

These retreats are always not only refreshing because of the fellowship and rest time but they are refreshing to my faith and devotion to my God. I think we need a mom's retreat for out homeschool group. Don't you? I am very blessed to have a husband who will take care of three kids all weekend because he knows how I need these retreats.  Oh and he is getting pretty good at it.

Well guess what? My sister and I both got The Biggest Loser book while we were on the retreat. So we decided to have our own biggest loser contest. David, Jill, Bryan(Jill's Hubby) and I are each putting in 5 dollars. So the winner will get 20 dollars to buy a new pair of pants or something. The contest starts today and goes on until Christmas eve. Whoever loses the most weight by Christmas wins.

I was thinking this may be a good contest to have with all of the ladies in my homeschool group. I may pose the idea over Christmas break and we could start New Year's Day. This contest would last for 12 weeks. I wonder if anyone would be interested. Hmmm

It has come that time again. It is retreat time. One of my favorite times of the year. I can really use it right now. It couldn't have come at a better time. And the plus is that my Mamma and sister are coming too. Since Pappa died in September Mamma has been really lonely. I know that there is a kind of healing that being with other women can give that is like no other kind of healing. My sister just really needs the break and the fellowship of other women as well. I am going to be sharing a room with Mamma and Jill. I think it is going to be so much fun. I think the last time just the three of us did anything together was when I was under 12. I really can't wait.

And then next weekend comes my second favorite time of the year. Making Pumpkin Rolls with Miss Laura. I so love this time. Too me this is the kick off of the holiday season. We have such fun and fellowship and I just love baking. I can't wait till my girls are old enough for us to all bake and talk together. That is one of my favorite things about the Holidays with my family. When all the women are in the kitchen helping to clean up and we all sit and talk. My husband also looks forward to Pumpkin Rolls with Miss Laura.lol He does LOVE the end result. The wonderful tasty Pumpkin Rolls. I told him I would be gone all day the Saturday after the retreat and he of course said why. I said it is Pumpkin Roll time. He said "take all the time you need." lol

A Strong Woman vs. A Woman of Strength

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape...
But a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape.

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything...
But a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear.

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her...
But a woman of strength gives her best to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...
A woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them.

A strong woman walks surefootedly...
But a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls.

A strong woman wears the looks of confidence on her face...
But a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey...
But a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

--By Cathy Berry