I need help. I wrote this song for Hemlock that Carlyss and Maddock sing together. Only I don't like it, one bit! Any suggestions? Other then "Never write another song again!"? Which would be very true :D

Maddock grinned and then began. His voice was deep, but not as deep as Theobald’s, as he sang.
“He traveled through the country,
He traveled all alone,
He traveled without companion and friend.
Into the wild he went to seek out the one he loved
He traveled the lands alone
Looking for the one he loved.”
Then it was my part.
“She lived in the forest
She lived all alone
Alone in the forest without companion and friend.
She stayed there, waiting for the one she loved
Knowing he would come for her
Come for her as he had promised.”
“He faced many dangers
Many dangers alone he faced
Traveling with the strength and courage of ten
He would not stop
He would not give up
Until he had found her and took the one he loved”
“She waited in the summer
She waited through the bitter winter
She waited, knowing he would come to her
Come to her and save her
Save her from the enchantment that held her
She watched for him and waited.”
“He entered the forest at last
The enchanter was waiting for him
He fought for her, willing to die for her.”
“She saw him come
She saw him enter
She watched him fight for her, she would die for him:
“The enchanter struck him, he fell to the ground”
“She ran to him and clasped him in her arms”
Then we both sang together.
“The enchanter raised his staff, raised his staff to kill.
They clung to each other
Clung to each other as death fell upon them
Even in death they could not be parted
And in each others arms they died
In each others love they died
Under the willow they died.”