As an addition this month, my knight and dear husband, Mike, is also contributing some of his insights on marriage.

Marriage, in itself, has plenty of daily troubles and concerns, and even the normal "wear and tear" can have an impact on any marriage relationship. Military marriages are not exempt from these challenges, and they have additional struggles that can have an even greater impact on the marriage.

First, frequent separations and deployments have a significant impact. Saying goodbye to your spouse in this situation is different than sending him off on a short business trip from which he usually returns. Saying goodbye in the military marriage has potential permanence.

Second, most military jobs are not comparable in pay to their civilian counterparts. Coming into or staying in the military often means a pay cut and therefore creative budgeting. Families often have to make every penny stretch each month.

Another hit the military marriage takes is frequent moves. On a Life Stressors list, moving ranks among the top five major life stressors. Military families move, on average, every 2-3 years! With all these added stressors, how is it possible to give your kids a good marriage and be a good "bunkmate" to your spouse?

For the wives, there are a few things we can do to strengthen our marriage. In Ecclesiastes 4:12 we are told, " ... though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken" (NIV). We need to invite God into our marriage and proactively keep Him in it. No matter the depth of love and commitment you may have with your husband (strand of two), God being in the center of your marriage will only strengthen that bond and increase the likelihood of the success of your marriage relationship (cord of three).

In the military, you will have to move. That is a given. Either your husband was in the military when you met and married him, or if he joined during the marriage, it was something that was talked about. So, you have to make a choice. As Ruth told her mother-in-law, "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay" (Ruth 1:16, NIV). You must choose to follow him wherever God and the military leads your family. Cleave to your husband. He is your family. Though as a daughter your thoughts may often turn toward home, once married, choose your husband.

The most important thing you can do for your marriage and your husband is to pray. We have many roles and responsibilities as wives and mothers, but none so important, or priceless, as a prayer warrior. You should pray for your husband as often as God calls him to mind throughout the day. Remember to pray Scriptures over him. If he is deployed to a war zone, pray Psalm 91 over him. As he goes to work each day, pray for God to grant him favor in the eyes of his command and to increase his "field of harvest." Just pray for him.

Remember, a cord of three is not easily broken, and your marriage is worth defending. Give your kids that good marriage relationship so they can take those lessons into their own marriages one day, and you and your husband will have a thriving, vibrant relationship when schooling is finally finished and all the kids have left the nest. Next, let's look at what Mike says for the men.

According to the latest statistics for the military, we have had a 70% increase in divorce and officers are leading the way. Why? Most are quick to blame this increase on deployments, but I am unwilling to place blame squarely on the shoulders of the military. I feel the cause for this increase can also be found in the civilian community as well.

The reason is unfaithfulness. Many would assume that this means involvement with a woman specifically. Unfaithfulness to your marriage vows can take many forms, and the context that I am writing of is the "almighty career." Many officers and enlisted personnel fall into the trap of looking out of their curtains to see if their commander is still at work before they go home. Many pass this off as being "workaholics," but in reality, they are trying to prove something, mostly to themselves as much as to their commander.

In short, there is no excuse for sacrificing one's home, family, and marriage for their career. I can find nowhere in statistics where those who sacrifice family for career are guaranteed great advancement or favor in the military. Proverbs 15:27 says, "A greedy man brings trouble to his family" (NIV). Let's put things into perspective. You can sell out to the military, and with one snap, your knee is "gone" and it all ends. If that happens, you will want the support of a wife and family that feels loved and cared for.

Many soldiers I talk to use the excuse of "doing all I do for my family," but they are wrong. Take a moment and ask your family and you will find that, if given the choice, they would rather have you home than at work trying to impress someone for that promotion. Now, don't hear me wrong. You need to give your best at work. However, God is the foundation of any good marriage. Put Christ first in your life. In doing that, everything else will fall into place where it needs to be. (Proverbs 16:2-3)

I close with some wonderful words I received from my Chaplain mentor. He gave me this sound advice before I returned to active duty four years ago. He told me, "Mike, if this is where God wants you, they [commanders] can't write an evaluation bad enough to get rid of you. If this is not where God wants you, they cannot write one good enough to keep you." Invest in your relationship with God and then with your family. Your family and your wife will be what are with you when the uniform comes off for the last time.

Memory Verse: Ecclesiastes 4:12 - "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (NIV)

Additional Verses: Luke 11:17 "Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: 'Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.' " (NIV)

For Further Meditation: