Pressing on Toward the Goal: The Incredible Journey
Posted in Homeschool Happenings
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It has been pretty much a lazy summer for us...and while that has been nice in a way...it may make getting back to a normal daily routine a struggle. One good thing was that I had everything organized and ready to go back in June...so I wasn't scrambling all summer to get ready for this year. But now I need to go over it all and remind myself of just what we are doing! Here's what we have planned for this year. Bridgette requested that we read through the book of Isaiah for bible. Our method of "bible study" has been that she would read the chapter on her own, then we would read it together and she would draw something that stood out to her. Then we listen to the chapter on cd and there would be somesort of devotional from that passage. This year with Isaiah being a longer book, we will have 2 chapters a week...with basically the same set up, but instead of the devotional part, I found an actual bible study for Isaiah (that I downloaded) that we are going to use instead. For History we are continuing with our unit study style method for more American History...with 1800's Pioneers and Westward Expansion being our topic. I have several source material that I'm pulling from (with reading/ Q&A) as well as living books and notebooking assignments and some essay writing planned. Science we are using Apologia's General Science...and have purchased a lab kit to go with it as there are a lot of experiments to do. We really enjoyed the Zoology 2 from last year, and I hope that Bridgette will enjoy science again this year. But the book seems big to me and more involved than she's had before...so hopefully it will go well. I would also love to see Bridgette participate in our homeschool group's annual Science fair this year...held in the spring...we should start researching ideas early! TLP/Writing - we are continuing with Total Language Plus (our 3rd year) and this year she will be reading Words By Heart, The Hobbit and Around the World in 80 Days. We also purchased Painless Grammar to use this year as well. But the big thing is writing for Bridgette. She has decided this year that she wants to become a writer. This past year she has begun writing a couple of stories that have been in my probably somewhat biased opinion, very good! So our plan is to focus more on writing in the coming years. I originally was only going to give her creative writing assignments to do through out the year, but we recenlty got the opportunity for her to take a writing class with someone who has a bachelor's degree in English...so starting in September for 12 weeks she will be taking this writing class and we are very excited about that! Math - we are continuing with Math U See. And as any of you know who have read any of my previous posts of what we use...Bridgette is a bit behind where 8th grade public school kids would be, but we are okay with that. When we began homeschooling we decided to start over with math and get her feeling comfortable with it. So this year we are moving into Epsilon...which if you are familiar with MUS focuses on fractions. It's at this point in the game that even mom will be getting an education...I always had trouble with fractions. And so from now on I plan to learn right along with Bridgette! I'm not sure what "extra curricular" activities we'll be doing this year. We decided not to stay with 4H...Bridgette only did a couple things last year and so we just decided it really wasn't worth it for us. I wish there was someplace she could take dance - I mean obviously there are places to take dance, but we don't have the extra money to put her into a class. She used to have her worship dance class...that was a free thing at our church lead by a volunteer...but unfortunately that is no longer an option and there isn't anything anywhere else that I know of. So I guess other than going to some plays or other field trips, we probably won't do much. Maybe that's a good thing?! Well all this begins in just 4 weeks...Monday August 31st! Perhaps this year will go by without any major distractions...such as whooping cough |
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!!!!Posted in Family and Friends
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Well, it finally happened. My grandmother is gone. (It's funny I almost thought she would outlive us all!) I'm not sure how I feel exactly. There are a lot of mixed emotions and it's hard to express what is going through my mind. But I'm going to try to put them into words. And maybe I can have closure and actually move on. When I was little, I loved my grandmother…but she wasn't your typical grandmother. First of all my grandparents didn't live near us. We were in New Hampshire, they were in North Carolina. So I really only saw them a couple times a year while growing up. She wasn't your "cookie" baking grandma…although she did make this fabulous cake - Sunshine Cake - LOL! When I was 5 she gave me yarn and material for my birthday (she was going to make me some clothes and a sweater). Now I don't necessarily begrudge her for that (well maybe a little) but, after all I was 5. What 5 year old is going to understand and appreciate the thought behind that? And who knows she may have given me other gifts that were more to my liking as a kid, and I just don't remember them - but that particular gift stands out in my memory. However, it's really not about the gifts …even though gifts as I discovered as an adult is one of my primary love languages. It was not hers. And that's okay. I know for myself I am not always able to give like I want to deep within myself…so I can understand for someone who doesn’t "speak" love in that way isn't going to for the most part. But my other primary love language is words of affirmation…maybe even more so than gifts…at least with her because she wasn't affirming with me. Instead she was critical…but it was always "sugar-coated". She said it was because she loved me and was concerned about me. Which I'm sure she was. But all I really ever wanted was for her to love me just the way I was…but in reality I never really did live up to her "ideal". In my heart I know that it doesn't really matter what she thought of me…God's opinion of me was all that truly mattered. Still it doesn't make the hurt completely go away. And I have forgiven her…but because I am human the memories remain. She was my grandmother and I should have wonderful memories. Don't get me wrong it wasn't horrible all the time…but the critical comments, and well meaning words are sometimes more vivid than any of the times that were positive. So here I am, wondering how I am supposed to feel. I'm sad, but I'm not sure for what reason. Am I sad because she's gone and I loved her...am I sad because I wish she had been different, am I sad because I feel guilty for not having gone to see her with my parents and Bridgette a couple of weeks ago, am I sad that I am relieved she is gone? All of the above? In truth, I've been waiting for her to die for several years now, as harsh as that sound. But I knew that once she did I wouldn't have to worry about hearing anymore of those well meaning critical words. That I would be relieved that it would finally be over. That I would be relieved that Bridgette wouldn't have to experience what I did. I feel horrible for feeling this way…but I am just that…relieved. I'm not sure what exactly the true nature of my grandmother's beliefs were…she claimed to be a Christian and I believed that she was saved even if it was in the simplest of terms…so my prayer is that one day after Jesus returns and we are experiencing eternal life, maybe then we will finally have that loving relationship that I have always wanted..the kind of relationship that I had with my Aunt Mary or with Brian's grandmother even. Only time will tell. Until then, I will try to focus on and remember the positive things about her. She was a talented painter (who didn't start painting until she was in her 50's! See the album "Some of My Grandmother's Paintings) She was a southerner through and through…and as a kid, after spending just a few days around her, I would begin to pick up her accent! I remember some of her distinct saying such as "Oh my stars"! I remember when she finally gave in to being called something other than "Grandmother" after Bridgette was old enough to talk…she became "Great Grandma Ruth"! Even the things that came from her strong "A-type" personality, that at times were aggravating as all get out, looking back are very funny - such as the time she was trying to "out run" a thunderstorm driving on some North Carolina back road! Or how she would get so frustrated with my Grampy (they had been married 60 years when he died in 1998!) when ever he would do something wrong…and she'd say "Oh Paul" with that southern drawl that just can't be mimicked in writing. Or how going to a store with her (in her younger days of 70 or 80!) was so amusing as she would rush down the aisles completely oblivious to whoever she was with or other shoppers…she had a mission to accomplish and wasn't going to let anything get in her way! This mentality showed up in other places too, she was an avid gardener, and even up until a couple years ago, would be out early in the morning every day to work in it. I remember as a kid at their house in North Carolina - before they sold it and moved to Florida - in their basement would be shelves and freezers full of canned or frozen fruits and veggies. She was thrifty and frugal almost to a fault, having gone through the depression…in a very large and poor family. She was an identical twin…the youngest of 30…yes you read that right! Her father had been married twice and had 15 kids with his first wife and after she died, he remarried and had another 15 kids! So in a way, I can understand why she was the way she was. Her life was hard, and it colored the way she looked at everything. The thing that I will take with me in regards to my grandmother, is this lesson…that even if someone isn't the way I think they should be, I will try to not judge them as she always seemed to do (and sometimes that is very hard)…that I will trust God to do whatever changes in that person that he requires…and rely on him to give me the love he wants me to have for that person…that God would give me the eyes to see them as he sees them, not how I think they should be. ("...Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7) I know in her heart that my grandmother did love me, and so I will look past the outward (how she showed that love in the things she said) and just try to remember that in her heart she did mean well. For me, I want my words and actions to match my well meaning heart…but, boy do I have a long way to go! Thank goodness I trust in a God who says that "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13) |
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Posted in Homeschool Happenings
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Tomorrow officially begins our last week of school! Yeah! We are so ready for the break. It's hard to believe that we are finishing up our 3rd year homeschooling! I have been working for the past few weeks getting ready for our evaluation in June and organizing everything for next year. And hopefully within another week or two, everything will be all set and I just might be able to enjoy the summer this year! I am hoping to work on some scrapbooking this summer! I should also work on some of my writing. Both of these tasks require some inspiration. And I have been feeling a lack of inspiration lately...sort of goes along with part of todays sermon. To stay under the annointing...at least when it comes to my writing. Bridgette's plans for the summer? Well, I think she is looking forward to spending more time reading and writing. I'm sure that we will be making several trips to the library over the summer! I think she should learning how to use her sewing machine more too! But before we can "close up shop" for the school year we have plans to end with a field trip. Since we've been studying Marine Science we are taking a trip to Mote Aquarium in Sarasota! |
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Posted in Carrying the Power
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Earlier this week, I was reading about Martha and Mary...and thought I'd share some of my thoughts... Luke 10: 38-42 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." I am such a Martha! My thoughts are consumed at times with what needs to be done…(not that I actually get all that I want to do, done!) This is ironic considering one of my pet peeves is that when I'm on the phone sometimes and I say my name, "Martha" gets mistaken for Melissa. Maybe the reason why that bothers me so much is because I don't want to be Martha, and have God tell me that I haven't chosen what is better. It makes me feel like God is saying that I'm not good enough because I didn't choose the better thing. I'm not sure that’s what was meant by what Jesus said to Martha...that she wasn't good enough or that her intentions were wrong…because I believe that she truly did have it in her heart to please Him. But she let her intentions take top priority and took on an attitude that it should be everyone elses priority to do things her way. SIGH…I struggle all the time with balancing what needs to be done - getting motivated for what needs to be done…when really all I want is to just not have those things to do and just be able to focus on the "only one thing is needed". How do I disconnect my mind that is filled with all the practical everyday things so that I can focus on the "only one thing is needed"? I'm caught between the two in a way…somewhere between Martha and Mary… as the Casting Crowns song says "somewhere in the middle you'll find me...just how close can I get to my surrender…without losing all control"! And it frustrates me once again that it comes down to this...control! Picture me with one of those name tags "Hello My Name Is…Control Freak". I want to know how to be more Mary like without letting everything else get out of hand. And how did Jesus really feel about Martha? Did he appreciate her efforts? I have to believe he did…and yet there is still the feeling at times of not being good enough if I don't make the right choice. It's…the doing vs. the being...that always gets me. But Martha's attitude was more than just doing something to please Jesus…more than wanting things to be just so. Jesus said she was worried and upset about many things. She wasn't just carried away with doing for Jesus…she was aggravated that Mary wasn't doing for Jesus, that Mary instead was being with Jesus. It makes me wonder if Martha had taken the time to just be with Jesus for a while, would he at some point later, have worked along side Martha to help her get it all done? I think that he would have. That reminds me of Matthew 6:33... "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." That if I will take the time to just be with Jesus…everything else will fall into place. Oh why can't I remember that and take it literally! Take the time to just be with Jesus first and then afterwards he will take the time to help me get what needs to be done, done! It's so simple really, and yet I struggle with it everyday (and fail most days). It is a lesson that I still need to learn, put into practice...how about you? Do any of you struggle with this too? |
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Posted in Random Thoughts
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Just wanted to take a moment to vent... I'm frustrated because my log in for Facebook is messed up. There was some sort of error message last night on both mine and my daughter's Facebook home page that said our email addresses were no longer working. Which was not true. This morning I was able to log on but my Facebook home page still had the error message...so I decided to change some of my privacy settings and change my password just in case something fishy was up. But then after changing my password and logging out I wasn't able to log back in. It said that it was invalid. I thought oh great now what did I do. At least before I was still able to log in. So I clicked on the "fogot my password" link which resets your password. I thought okay now we're getting somewhere. But unfortunately I never got the email that gives you the reset password so you can start over. So I go to the help page...and find a link that says I'm not receiving the email to reset my password and follow that. Finally I get an email from Facebook, which requires me to reply...but as of yet I haven't received any more info from them. My daughter however no longer has the error message on her home page. And now I'm kicking myself for not being more patient and having a just wait and see attitude about it. So NOW I wait to see what will happen since I can't get on at all. Which is I fine - I can take a break from Facebook, but just the fact that I CAN'T log on is driving me crazy! |
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