God is God and I am not... (originally written March 12, 2009 at 3:01am)

Once again sleep seems to be an elusive thing...and so I'm praying about things that boggle the mind...and still not sure really how to pray exactly. Other than I am asking God to intervene and make things right. Thinking back to my last note about Philippians, (did I really only write that on Tuesday?) and it seems that already I'm faced with the fact that I have to remind myself about what I wrote! Talk about a test where God seems to be saying "here, lets see if you really meant what you said". And I begin to wonder if I truly am capable of practicing rejoicing, and thinking about all the "whatever is..." traits while another cloud of darkness rolls in...and all these other thoughts try to worm their way into my mind. Yet, God is faithful and always provides a way of escape.

1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

And my escape came in the form of another song. God seems to speak to me thru music quite a lot lately...and this particular one was a reminder to me that it's okay that I don't know. It's okay that I am uncertain about some stuff. As long as I am always certain about the fact that God is God and I am not. I can't see everything...or understand the why of everything...but I can rest assured that HE can see everything, HE does understand the why of everything and HE is in absolute control of it all. And so even tho my flesh tends to just keep dwelling on the negative thoughts...I am with the help of Jesus going to take them captive one by one and choose to rejoice in who HE is...which is HOLY, MIGHTY, LOVING and MERCIFUL!

God is God by Steven Curtis Chapman

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
‘Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable
For to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone