Earlier this week,  I was reading about Martha and Mary...and thought I'd share some of my thoughts...

Luke 10: 38-42 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

I am such a Martha! My thoughts are consumed at times with what needs to be done…(not that I actually get all that I want to do, done!) This is ironic considering one of my pet peeves is that when I'm on the phone sometimes and I say my name, "Martha" gets mistaken for Melissa. Maybe the reason why that bothers me so much is because I don't want to be Martha, and have God tell me that I haven't chosen what is better. It makes me feel like God is saying that I'm not good enough because I didn't choose the better thing. I'm not sure that’s what was meant by what Jesus said to Martha...that she wasn't good enough or that her intentions were wrong…because I believe that she truly did have it in her heart to please Him. But she let her intentions take top priority and took on an attitude that it should be everyone elses priority to do things her way.

SIGH…I struggle all the time with balancing what needs to be done - getting motivated for what needs to be done…when really all I want is to just not have those things to do and just be able to focus on the "only one thing is needed". How do I disconnect my mind that is filled with all the practical everyday things so that I can focus on the "only one thing is needed"? I'm caught between the two in a way…somewhere between Martha and Mary… as the Casting Crowns song says "somewhere in the middle you'll find me...just how close can I get to my surrender…without losing all control"! And it frustrates me once again that it comes down to this...control! Picture me with one of those name tags "Hello My Name Is…Control Freak".

I want to know how to be more Mary like without letting everything else get out of hand. And how did Jesus really feel about Martha? Did he appreciate her efforts? I have to believe he did…and yet there is still the feeling at times of not being good enough if I don't make the right choice. It's…the doing vs. the being...that always gets me. But Martha's attitude was more than just doing something to please Jesus…more than wanting things to be just so. Jesus said she was worried and upset about many things. She wasn't just carried away with doing for Jesus…she was aggravated that Mary wasn't doing for Jesus, that Mary instead was being with Jesus. It makes me wonder if Martha had taken the time to just be with Jesus for a while, would he at some point later, have worked along side Martha to help her get it all done? I think that he would have. That reminds me of Matthew 6:33...

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

That if I will take the time to just be with Jesus…everything else will fall into place. Oh why can't I remember that and take it literally! Take the time to just be with Jesus first and then afterwards he will take the time to help me get what needs to be done, done! It's so simple really, and yet I struggle with it everyday (and fail most days). It is a lesson that I still need to learn, put into practice...how about you? Do any of you struggle with this too?