Just wanted to take a moment to vent...

I'm frustrated because my log in for Facebook is messed up.  There was some sort of error message last night on both mine and my daughter's Facebook home page that said our email addresses were no longer working.  Which was not true.  This morning I was able to log on but my Facebook home page still had the error message...so I decided to change some of my privacy settings and change my password just in case something fishy was up.  But then after changing my password and logging out I wasn't able to log back in.  It said that it was invalid.  I thought oh great now what did I do.  At least before I was still able to log in.  So I clicked on the "fogot my password" link which resets your password.  I thought okay now we're getting somewhere.  But unfortunately I never got the email that gives you the reset password so you can start over.  So I go to the help page...and find a link that says I'm not receiving the email to reset my password and follow that.  Finally I get an email from Facebook,  which requires me to reply...but as of yet I haven't received any more info from them.  My daughter however no longer has the error message on her home page.  And now I'm kicking myself for not being more patient and having a just wait and see attitude about it. 

So NOW I wait to see what will happen since I can't get on at all.  Which is I fine - I can take a break from Facebook, but just the fact that I CAN'T log on is driving me crazy! 

I think this will be a somewhat random post...covering a wide variety of topics, but then again maybe not so random, as what it really boils down to is that God has and continues to be so GOOD in my life!  No matter what circumstances I face, He is constant!  He never changes!  He is a solid and sure foundation!  And that is something that my life needs...this school year has proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt!  

We are in the middle of our 3rd year of homeschooling.  And I have to say this has been our best school year yet...despite the roller coaster ride of life this year has been so far.   Our first year was good...interesting...a learning curve - but that was to be expected as I'm sure all homeschoolers have felt that way about their first year.   Our second year was better...but started out in the middle of a stressful busy time in our lives...buying a house, packing, moving etc - and then adopting 2 kitties that made life really interesting and distracting!!!   Our third year started off great...the first week was perfect, smooth and productive...then I got sick, and as some of you who read my blog on any kind of regular basis know - turned out to be whooping cough that lasted for 4 long, frustrating months!  But even with that we still kept up with homeschooling and Bridgette for the first time since we decided to homeschool - REALLY enjoyed school!  We had finally found our style and it was working for us!  Thank God because if school had been a chore, I'm not sure how we would have managed those 4 months.  By Christmas I was doing much better...and figured once the holidays were passed, school would once again be smooth sailing.

But if you've read my last post (Hindsight), you know that 2009 brought about another crisis.  Sigh.  But, even so throughout everything that this year has brought about, I can still say without a doubt - GOD IS SO GOOD!  He has continued to make himself real to our family...showing us grace, mercy and love, protecting us, providing for our needs.  Thru the recent "crisis, my immediate family has grown closer to each other.  Especially my husband and I.  In my married life Brian has been a rock for me...holding me when I'm hurting and letting me cry on his shoulder, listening to me when I've been dealing with some issue etc.  He has continued to love me even at times when I have been very unlovable.  God has blessed me with an incredible husband! 

But in the trials that I faced this year - being sick and the thing with our church - I am realizing that God has been trying to teach me a very valuable lesson.   That really HE is the only one that I can depend on for strength, wisdom, protection and to comfort me at ALL times.  And not that I wasn't going to God for strength, wisdom or comfort, because I was, but I was also relying on Brian for alot of it as well.   And in both these situations he wasn't able to really be all of those things.  

When I was sick, there wasn't anything that he could do to help me get thru it.  Sure he sympatized with me, did what he could to help...but he couldn't give me strength,  he couldn't keep me from throwing up, peeing my pants, and passing out (on a couple occassions) when the coughing fits were at their worst.  He was powerless to help me.  

Then when the thing with church happened, there were trust issues that I needed to deal with (and still am dealing with)...things that Brian couldn't possibly fix or make better.  Brian's words of comfort , while they usually in the past would help to make me feel better and get me thru whatever, were just words.  He couldn't really understand (and even now for the most part still doesn't)...not that he didn't want to understand.   Because even tho we are ONE, we still have our own individual perspectives on things and can never truly experience the other person's.  

But God on the other hand KNOWS all things, and KNOWS each person intimately...HE can and has truly experienced my perspective.  He knows my heart, my thoughts, my every action and reaction.  He sees the BIG picture and is the only one who knows the hows and whys of things that we may never know here on this earth.   And, for that I am truly thankful.  And I will trust him to do what's best for each of the children he's created and loves...especially myself.

All this is not to say that I didn't already know this about God...but having head knowledge about one of God's attributes and having heart knowledge are two different things.  I think God, thru these trials moved this knowledge from my head to my heart.  It's interesting the things that God will use to really teach you something.  Growing pains...kind of takes on a new meaning when you think about it.  There are several bible verses that come to mind when I think about all of this that I'd like to share.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Psalm 139: 1-7  O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise;  you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down;  you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?

I am holding on to the truth of these verses...knowing that no matter what things may look like, God knows what things ARE like...and he will work it all out for good in my life...because I love him and have been called according to his purpose.   That He has plans for me...and I have hope and a future!  And, even as scary as it is sometimes to think that God knows every little thing about me - good and bad - it's still a comfort to realize that He does know and still chooses to love me anyway, and still chooses to pursue me...there is no where I can go to flee His presence!  In fact it only makes me want to run toward Him more...to get lost in His presence...be held in His arms, cry on His shoulder and be strengthened, and comforted by HIs words of wisdom!

Well it has been a nice Christmas today (or yesterday!).  Quiet...kinda boring...but we are very blessed.  

One of the presents I got, were these two "country" prints...you know pictures of country looking scenes.  It was funny because Bridgette wasn't sure I would like them...but I do...they were probably the least expensive of everything I got today, but Brian was inspired to get them anyway.  And so I thought I would blog about them because they stir up something that has been a dream of mine for a long time.  And that is to decorate and furnish my house in a country style.  It's silly I know...and really I am very thankful for the things we have...grateful for the "Early American Relative" theme of our house.  We have fairly comfortable furniture, and our walls display beautiful paintings that were painted by my grandmother.   

Now I'm not into roosters and cows and all that...not that kind of country.  But I would love to have wainscotting, hard wood floors (in the dining room and kitchen)...NO MORE TILE!!!,  and one of those trestle tables that have the L shaped bench seats that fit in a corner and chairs on the other side.  I love my dishes...they are corelle with fruit on them...and my pots and pans are red...so I would like to incorporate more red accents into my kitchen...with fruit...apples or something?   My cabinets are functional white laminate style...not very pretty...but do the job.  I personally love light colored wood cabinets. 

Anyway the first print,  titled Church Picnic... has this quaint little country church in the background complete with white steeple...and in the foreground is a table set up with all kinds of yummy homemade looking goodies.  The other one is of a farm house with a barn. 

It's funny...I haven't talked about what I like as far as decor goes in a long time...but still Brian remembered and with these two little inexpensive prints, rekindled a dream.   I love that about him...he may not be the most romantic guy around, but sometimes he will do something that takes me by surprise and shows me that he knows me pretty well and loves me a whole lot!

Here I am...it's almost 1:30 am...and I'm up yet again.  I don't want to sleep, because I don't want to cough (which seems to increase when I lay down...which is strange, because last night I got a pretty good night's sleep...guess it was too much to hope for 2 in a row)  All I realy want is to be ALL better and be able to go to church tomorrow (actually it's today isn't it!).   After having a good night last night, and a decent day (actually got out of the house and went to help decorate at church)  My mom told me not to do too much and have a relapse, and I didn't think that I did...but who knows.  Tonight wasn't a good night, but that isn't why I came on to blog.

I came on to blog about how I've been thinking about creating another blog site...one to play with, experiment with...to see what kind of design I can come up with.   A TEST blog if you will.  I've seen so many blogs that are designed really well.  Others that have things that I think are cool, but have no idea how to recreate it for my own blog.  So maybe if I have a test blog, I can figure stuff out without messing up the one I've got already that works just fine.    But all this takes time, and I'm not sure I have or want to spend that kind of time on it.  I wish I knew HTML ...so far I've figured out enough to do simple things and  enough that I could get myself into trouble real quick. 

Well, like most ideas I have, this may be the only time it's ever mentioned...I'm terrible at following thru on stuff.  I still have all kinds of "fabulous" ideas for blog entries...that have yet to become reality.  If nothing else this post may have served the purpose of making me sleepy...Lord I pray that I'm able to sleep thru the night again..ease my fears...give me peace and help me to trust.

until next time...        

Hmm what to write about, where to begin?  I had thought about several different things I wanted to blog about and post here, but have been dealing with this horrible cough thing that has (as I told one of my friends) rattled my brain a bit in an effort to keep from hacking up a lung every few minutes!  

School this week went pretty well despite the coughing - but it's left me drained.  Right now tho the house is quiet, Brian and Bridgette have gone off to run some errands and I am enjoying the peace of being alone with my (ahem...Brian's) laptop.  Browsing around Facebook some and blogging here.

I don't remember if I actually blogged about this before - that I wanted to create a category that would be just for pictures...but that's something  that I need to work on with our regular computer so I don't have to do extra work copying pics a bunch of times just to put them on here.  I know I also want to post more in my carrying the power category, but that will probably require clearer thinking than I've been capable of lately.  So for the moment I'm stuck with blogging my random meaningless thoughts -  which will bore to tears anyone who might drop by to read.