Mr. Steady

A year or two ago I read "Created to be His Helpmeet" and learned my husband is a Mr. Steady. I appreciate that so much about him! Though there are times I wish he were more commanding I'm sure his personality has made the difference in the peace we find in our marriage.

I know that having three small children takes up much of our time and attention and so I find that there is little time to get mad or stay mad at him. Although staying mad is NOT even in my personality, partly because I feel immediate remorse for things I do or say that are not right and partly because I'm very forgetful .  On the flip side, my man is the complete opposite and though I may be ready to say I'm sorry and seek his forgiveness (which I need immediately) he is not ready to hear it or move on. Maybe it's a man thing, but he needs time to process all the information.

Anyway, back to the book, I'm going to highlight a few of the things Debi Pearl mentions about a steady man and why I love my stady man. She says that we have to learn to seek God's wisdom in all matters and wait for God to move our husbands. One thing I will never forget is her comment that we are not to be our husband's conscience...God is. Oh how that has resignated through my mind over and over, not only about my husband but as I've been learning to be less critical of others and just pray that God will move in their life.

"Your wasting of time and spending money foolishly will weigh heavily on him, robbing him of his pride and pleasure in you." (pg 90). Oh my oh my, how this hit the cord with me. I have struggled with spending a little too much here and there for our entire marriage. I have suffered so much guilt and anxiety over this issue and I guess I have not ever completely given this struggle over to God. I know for sure, finances weigh heavily on my husband and on me. We made some poor decisions in the past and are trying to now pay off all of our debt. I wish I had read enough to know about these scriptures before we got into our mess...Romans 13:8 "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." and Proverbs 22:7 "The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." Oh that we could have avoided this trap. But praise be to the Lord that we have now wised up and are changing! Lord please help me to use our money as wisely as possible!

This I love much about Eric...though it is very hard for him to make decisions, I think it is because it takes him so long deliberating and weighing all the options that he times out like the computer does . No really, Debi Pearl says "These men can be some of the most important men in the church, because their steadfastness is sure, and their loyalty is strong. They make wise, well-thoughtout decisions. They are rarely rash or roolish...Their children grow up to highly respect their gentle-speaking dad."  (pg 90) This is all the same for my dad. It's funny my parents used to always tease me that I'd marry someone like my dad and it's true...I did. Though they both disagree my mom and I can both clearly see how alike they are.

"He will bein quiet contemplation much of the time. It will drive his wife crazy, because she will long for him to share his deepest feelings and thoughts with her so she can "feel" loved. He cannot...He is very, very slow to come to trust and open up to the woman he loves, because he does not understand her...Of the three types, he is the one who will be most liked by everyone." (pg 91)

And lastly, "When she stops trying to change him, he will grow. She can, then, willingly take up tasks that will fill her time and give her husband joy and satisfaction when he sees her productiveness." (pg 92) So, thank you Jesus for this steady man who helps to level my life out and be my strength when I am weak and my support when I am down. Thank you for this man who can calm me and love me and hold me when I am falling apart. Thank you for this man who does complete me!