I have struggled for nearly two years now with guilt over not being able to consistently wake up at 5:30 as I have so desperately tried and desired. My ideal morning would be waking up at 5:30, making my husband's breakfast and sending him off to work, exercising, having Bible/Prayer time, and showering all before my girls wake up.

But, on the mornings I have managed to get up early, ironically, so do my children, which made me so  frustrated because it was supposed to be my time of quiet and getting woke up and ready for the day. Or if I didn't get up I spent all day feeling guilty and wallowing in my own regret that my day must have been not going well because of me and though that may have some validity to it, just because my day started later than I wanted doesn't mean it's spoiled!

During the girls' nap/quiet time today, I was reading chapter 4 of "Passionate Housewives Desperate for God" and there is a couple pages on this subject. I was speechless after reading this section and actually had to put the book down to digest what she was saying. I have read over and over and over these past couple of years from women saying how sweet their early morning time with Jesus was and I wanted it more than anyone could understand. However, I need sleep so much too for many reasons. Right now my girls still wake up at night and if on a rare occasion they don't, I do. My health hasn't been the greatest as I have been struggling with iron-deficient anemia which has left me very fatigued at times.

Anyway, before I get any more derailed here, she is trying to dispell the thought that it is mandatory we rise early and have this every day. At some seasons of our lives, it is not possible. The more important thing is that we find some time during our day every day to read our Bible and pray often. It doesn't have to be alone or a big lump of time at once. It can be while the children are playing or reading aside you, at their quiet time, or after they're in bed at night.

It's probably going to take some more time and more prayer before I feel completely at peace with this matter. God sent me a scripture through the Bible study I just finished and it is again in this section of this new book I'm reading. "It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep"  Psalm 127:2 (KJV). Yes, I know there are also many scriptures on rising early to pray and be with our Lord but also He gave us this, I suppose for a season in our lives where we can't get up early every day!

For now I will come to Him as often as I can and will read His Word as much as I find moments to but I will also long for the days when I will have the time to rise and meet with Him in the quiet of the morning.