My friends and family, I have been struggling for so long with the desire to wake up early and be ready for my day before the children get up. I know that not every mother needs or wants to do that, but it has been a source of great frustration for me. I have probably even talked about it before.

My ultimate goal would be to wake up before 5:30 and get my husband's breakfast ready, including tea or coffee and send him off to work with prayer and kisses. Then I could exercise a little, shower, read my Bible & pray, and then get started on any housework needed tending to before my girls wake up. Then when the girls woke up I'd want them to come to the table for breakfast together and afterwards we could read the Bible and pray. While I'm cleaning up the kitchen I'd like them to make their beds, dress, and brush their teeth. Then I'd love to do circle time and what we have for school that day. I am sure that if I could do all that on most days, my life would flow a lot easier, my days would be a lot less cluttered and chaotic, and I would feel less stressed.

However, my life for almost the past two years has been completely the opposite. My girls wake me up most days and they are sure I get up and if I don't they go back to their room and play and usually end up arguing and that is no way to start our days! Then I crawl out to the kitchen where there is usually a pile of dishes in the sink and just little things here and there that are never put away that drive me nuts and make me irritable. I spend time on the computer while the girls watch Caillou and eat their breakfast (which is another whole thing in itself). Then they eventually get dressed and some days they make their beds. I eventually shower and wake up and I hate spending the time doing all that while they're awake. I feel it is selfish of me to not have that all done before they get up. Anyway, the whole point here is I have no real routine, no schedule, no order to my life.

Prior to marriage, I was a neat-freak, order-guru, and loved organizing! But over the years, and especially after children, that all fell to the wayside. Now I have neat little piles of papers that I keep in a few different locations, which also drive me crazy. But I can't seem to get on top it all. I've read a few books, prayed about it a lot, but something just isn't working for me.

I've see Flylady and it seems a bit overwhelming to me. I ordered a book a couple weeks ago called The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized: *Manage Your Time *Eliminate Clutter and Experience Order *Keep Your Family First  and I hope it arrives soon. I am sure it will be here any day. I don't know if it will provide any more revelations to me I haven't already seen but I am desperate for change.

I have tried setting my alarm cold turkey for 5:30. I've tried backing it up every week by a half hour until I get there. It is not a matter of the time for me, it is just getting up period. I have been like that as long as I can remember. I just love laying in my nice, warm, comfy bed and hate getting out of it. But once I get my shower I'm good!

Please pray for me as I learn to wholly lean on God in this area of my life and attempt to do what's been impossible for me! Thanks for letting me get all that out