Well, I've been a bit dried up and posted out. I kind of needed a little break and had to decide if I wanted to keep on with the blog or not. I got some feedback from some people very close to me that I sounded like I was being too hard on myself and I had to sit back and reflect what I wanted my blog to be about and I wondered if that was true. I am hard on myself but I've always felt it was for good reason. I don't know. I feel like there are just certain things I have to do well at or I have to do my best at and well, I often fail at even that.

Anyway, I'm back.

Guess what I did while I was away? We invested in some used cloth diapers and have completely switched over! It is so excited to be saving money on diapers and not throwing any more away. I only regret not starting this sooner. I can't imagine how many diapers we've thrown away.

I also got drafted to teach a preschool music/craft class at our homeschool co-op. I have nine 3 & 4 year-olds in there. Let me just say, it is a long 50 minutes :). It's hard to keep them all occupied. But I'm enjoying it and know it is only temporary.

Okay, so I'm thankful we are finally getting some rain, thanks to Gustav. The tippy top of it is finally reaching Michigan today.I don't know how many days it has been with no rain here, but it's been weeks I think. Our yard was crispy!

Also, is Michigan the only place where you can have the air on one day and need the heat the next? Yesterday it was 75 degrees in my house when I turned off my air (I keep it set at 74) and this morning it is 69 and I closed all the windows and it is chilly!!!

That's Michigan for ya...we can go from winter to summer overnight and vice versa. Our spring & fall are not necessarily a season we always get to go through :)

I am happy to report that though I didn’t even come close to waking up at 5:30 today J I did get up enough before the girls that I ate my breakfast, switched the laundry, and got in the shower. Praise the Lord! One other thing that helped my morning tremendously was having the kitchen cleaned last night after supper. I don’t always get that done because since we don’t usually get to eat dinner until almost 7, we spend time after dinner with the girls and putting them to bed then I feel obligated to sit and visit with Eric until bedtime.

But, it was such a huge blessing to me to wake up to a clean kitchen! I didn’t have those dirty, ugly dishes looming over my head and all in all, it was a great morning!

Now on to something else very meaningful to me. I am finally finishing up the book “Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” and I ran up against a quote I just have to pass along.

“ We feed the flesh until it has uncontrollable appetite with a mind of its own—pulling us in the direction of whatever feels good for the moment—led by our own carnal desires. Ironically, it’s an illusion, because the closer we get to what is supposed to “feel good” the worse we actually feel, the more we want, and the more our character suffers.”

This really hit me between the eyes. It has taken some time to build up with me, but I will ashamedly admit that I have let the media’s message of “you deserve it”, “give it to yourself”, “you work hard all day with your kids” get to me. I have allowed myself to give in to those carnal desires of small things that I get extra from the grocery store, or fast food, or whatever it may be. You know what, quite realistically, I don’t deserve a thing! Remember, I am a sinner. What I do deserve is hell. But, Praise the Lord I have been redeemed! Jesus has saved me from disaster and set my feet upon a solid rock. I do not deserve anything but by HIS grace and mercy I get to live forever. He promises me He will meet my needs according to His will.

What I need to give in return is my life’s service and obedience. Is it wrong to pick up an extra pop, snack, meal, of course it’s not. But, is it wrong when I’m borrowing the money from another envelope, when the money isn’t even there sometimes, when I’m not truthful with Eric about it? Yes…even if it was just $1.

I once heard Suze Orman tell a lady that every time she charged something on her credit card that she knew she couldn’t pay for right then, she was lying to herself! I am not sure I will ever forget that! Jesus let it sink in to me that any time I spend money I know isn’t there, I am lying! Surely the Lord doesn’t want me to lie and it is the opposite of living in His will!

I know I got off on a little tangent there but I wanted to explain what that quote from the book meant to me. Because all I got from feeding my carnal nature those little tidbits of I deserve this purse or this or that was GUILT! I never got lasting satisfaction.

My friends and family, I have been struggling for so long with the desire to wake up early and be ready for my day before the children get up. I know that not every mother needs or wants to do that, but it has been a source of great frustration for me. I have probably even talked about it before.

My ultimate goal would be to wake up before 5:30 and get my husband's breakfast ready, including tea or coffee and send him off to work with prayer and kisses. Then I could exercise a little, shower, read my Bible & pray, and then get started on any housework needed tending to before my girls wake up. Then when the girls woke up I'd want them to come to the table for breakfast together and afterwards we could read the Bible and pray. While I'm cleaning up the kitchen I'd like them to make their beds, dress, and brush their teeth. Then I'd love to do circle time and what we have for school that day. I am sure that if I could do all that on most days, my life would flow a lot easier, my days would be a lot less cluttered and chaotic, and I would feel less stressed.

However, my life for almost the past two years has been completely the opposite. My girls wake me up most days and they are sure I get up and if I don't they go back to their room and play and usually end up arguing and that is no way to start our days! Then I crawl out to the kitchen where there is usually a pile of dishes in the sink and just little things here and there that are never put away that drive me nuts and make me irritable. I spend time on the computer while the girls watch Caillou and eat their breakfast (which is another whole thing in itself). Then they eventually get dressed and some days they make their beds. I eventually shower and wake up and I hate spending the time doing all that while they're awake. I feel it is selfish of me to not have that all done before they get up. Anyway, the whole point here is I have no real routine, no schedule, no order to my life.

Prior to marriage, I was a neat-freak, order-guru, and loved organizing! But over the years, and especially after children, that all fell to the wayside. Now I have neat little piles of papers that I keep in a few different locations, which also drive me crazy. But I can't seem to get on top it all. I've read a few books, prayed about it a lot, but something just isn't working for me.

I've see Flylady and it seems a bit overwhelming to me. I ordered a book a couple weeks ago called The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized: *Manage Your Time *Eliminate Clutter and Experience Order *Keep Your Family First  and I hope it arrives soon. I am sure it will be here any day. I don't know if it will provide any more revelations to me I haven't already seen but I am desperate for change.

I have tried setting my alarm cold turkey for 5:30. I've tried backing it up every week by a half hour until I get there. It is not a matter of the time for me, it is just getting up period. I have been like that as long as I can remember. I just love laying in my nice, warm, comfy bed and hate getting out of it. But once I get my shower I'm good!

Please pray for me as I learn to wholly lean on God in this area of my life and attempt to do what's been impossible for me! Thanks for letting me get all that out

Here are some pics from our weekend in Mackinaw. We had a great time but of course wish it could have lasted longer!

My 5 year-old brought this to me this morning and I thought it was about the cutest thing I'd ever seen. It says... BAILEY EMMA MOM DAD ABIGAIL MY FAMILY. I love the way she attempted to spell it all by herself. The last picture is the other side of the marker board, where she drew our pictures :) 

You let your children run free with the camera. I laughed so hard when I loaded our memory card on the computer and saw these.

I ended up getting my hair cut Saturday. I was 50/50 with the decision and just went with it. I knew either way I'd want it the other way. So, now I have something new and can grow it out again...which is always fun!

The beautiful brunette in one of those pictures is my best friend and former college roomie. Her name is Angeline and you can see her blog here.

Bailey tasting hot and spicy pork rinds Emma tasting hot and spicy pork rinds Lucy jumping up to Eric

I'm sorry for this one but I had to share. I let her be a little while after I heard her awake from her nap because she was being good in there. I should have known when they're quiet it's never good! I'm not sure Bailey liked holding her hair They were very happy when we got home and wanted to take picture after picture after picture.

Now this is my current hair and I'm thinking of getting it cut again. I had my sweetie take my picture from the last time I got all my hair cut off and photoshop it a little taking more off the way I'd get it cut now if I decide to do that. What do you think? (That's my dad with me)

And the maybe what it could be...Please disregard the garbled shoulder and neck...he had to paste that area from the other picture and I don't really look deformed like that . Plus I'm sure my hair will be a little thicker than that but it's just a rough guess.

We have been talking about cutting our daughters' hair for a while now. Our main problem is brushing their hair. We use conditioner and even a tangle spray but it doesn't seem to help or matter.

Our 5 year-old daughter's hair is about 8" below her shoulders and is beautiful if we take the time to curl it or it has been french braided wet all night so that it is kinky the next day, otherwise, it is stringy and always looks unbrushed (even minutes after brushing it). So, we have been talking about cutting hers to above her shoulders. She has been undecided but is excited for a cut. She's a bit of a princess and more into her looks than her younger sister, which makes me a little nervous for her to be sad after a big cut.

Then our 3 year-old. Her hair is very long, to the bottom of her back. The last few inches of the under layer are spring curls and so very pretty but again, brushing it is almost impossible. Most of the time it just hangs in her face and it can be very very pretty but it takes a lot of care. I am very undecided about cutting much of hers off. I'm thinking of just doing some bangs to help get the rest out of her face and dealing with the tangles for now. I might get nauseas cutting her curls off.

Any advice mommies who have been there? Our 3 year-old has never had her hair cut, except the three times we had to cut gum out of her hair. I am pretty sure about cutting the older's hair, even though it will be very sad for me to see it go. I really do not know what to do about the middle daughter's hair though. I don't know if the salon will be of any help either. We've never been to this one, it is just for kids.

Thank you for any advice!

I don't remember why but my goofy sweetie taught this to Bailey about a year ago. I love that voice on camera...sounds so cute! This one is really short. You might have to play it a couple times :). Again, before viewing video you'll want to pause my music.

My hunger for simplicity grows every day. I have felt so sidetracked this year and I don’t think I can stand it anymore. I need to take some time to refresh my spirit and quiet my life enough to get back to where God wants me to be. Back in high school and college I used to write to express my deepest emotions, and emotional I was! It has been some years since I have quieted myself enough to be able to feel that place deep within. Children and life have taken over and busied me so that finding that place seems impossible right now.

Our previous house was just a small cape cod with a finished basement, but I miss it so. It seemed so simple. Maybe it's just a sentimental missing in my heart but it seems things changed for me after that move. When we found out we were pregnant with our third daughter, we decided to try an open house by owner for our home and see if God wanted us to find a bigger home. Well, we stuck a sign in the yard and put an ad in the paper and had a family come through our open house and tell us they weren't leaving until we accepted their full asking price offer. Wow, what a quick and direct answer to our prayers! Only we had to move out in 4 weeks. God sent us this house to fill that need but it has never really felt like "home". It is a nice large ranch that definitely is a good size and in good shape but my husband and I long for the country, partly for the simplicity, mostly for the space.

Makes me think this longing in my heart for simplicity and space really is deeply rooted in the longing for Heaven and it's freedom! See, now my writing has caused my selfish longing for wordly space to turn to a spiritual longing for Heaven! Please rekindle this fire in me to wait expectantly for Your Glory! But while we must remain here on earth, let us follow Your will...no matter my desires! If I must stay in this home for a time to come, I will have to come up with ways to simplify.

Off the top of my head, I know we could simplify our lives by limiting television to a stark minimum for both us and the children. My main problem area is actually how much time I can spend on this computer...information is limitless! Sometimes I want to throw it out the window. If my husband didn't need the high speed connection when he works from home I'd love to have dial-up. I know the slowness of it would greatly limit my internet time. I have tried setting limits for myself but I must not have much self-control because I can't even obey my own rules :)

I know this stage of my life doesn't offer much rest. My children, 1, 3, and 5 are very needy and busy. My "job" doesn't end at their bedtime, most nights it continues all night long as they seem to wake up in staggering times so that my sleep is constantly interrupted. I am thankful though, because I would rather have them than sleep! Amen!

So, this week I am going to do some serious reconsideration of my time. I am sure I will have to pray a lot about this as I can do nothing without Christ and to try would be work in vain. Any ideas you have would be greatly appreciated!

I know I'm a little late on this one but we've been busy and when we've not been busy we've been relaxing! Yesterday  morning we packed up a lunch of peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, carrot sticks, sugar snap peas, cheese, and grapes and headed off to a local craft fair. Now this is one of the least favorite things my husband would care to spend his time doing, but he graciously went along because he knows how much the girls and I love to go to those things. However, it's not very easy to maneuver a double stroller and two adults and one more child through a thick crowd of people so mostly we just window shopped from the center aisle. After we stopped on the grass and ate lunch, we bought an elephant ear and shared it between the 5 of us...it didn't last long.

Later in the afternoon we had some good friends of ours over. Our grill has been out of propane and we are waiting for the "super saturday" sale so we can get both our tanks filled for cheap. So, Eric dug out a little fire pit and we roasted our hot dogs over the fire. We had a great time.

This morning my husband is trout fishing and we are planning a date this evening. We haven't decided what we're going to do yet but Eric usually leaves those decisions up to me. We are planning lunch at my mom and dad's tomorrow afternoon after church.

Weekends always go way too fast for my sweet dh. I hope he catches many big fish this morning!

Okay. Anyone who really knows me probably knows that I HATE bugs. I mean it's so bad that if I'm looking at a book that has a picture of a spider or something in it I can barely touch the page. The other day the girls were walking past our grill on the deck and said "Look at all those spiders." So, I put on a brave front and went out to investigate. No, those aren't spiders I said, it's just something stuck in the web. So as I valiantly reached out to touch the fuzzy thing in the web they scattered. I jumped and screamed and just about lost my stomach through my throat. Hundreds of baby spiders scattered about the web. So, before I annialated them for being too close to my house and the fear of them getting inside sent shivers up my spine, I gathered about my wits and took a couple pictures. And just a disclaimer...I'm terrible at taking pictures so please don't hold me responsible for poor picture quality...I can't help it :)

We got sick again. We spent all last week miserable with a hacking cough, aching heads, and runny noses. The girls all had fevers in the beginning. I'm so glad to have that behind us! Praise the Lord we are getting well again...well...if you don't count being up from 10:30 to 4:30 last night with a 5 year old complaining of ear pain. But I think we're on the mend for sure!

Our weather has taken a chilly turn. It only got to be about 64 degrees today and the same forecasted for tomorrow. So we're not getting much use out of our new kiddie pool. Hoping for warmer days soon.

My husband's truck has finally taken a dump for good. The transmission place gave us an estimate of $1400-$2000 so I think we're just gonna look at getting him a newer vehicle. With his 120 mile daily commute he needs something very dependable and his old rust bucket of a truck doesn't get good gas milage anyway. Please pray we find something dependable, affordable, and sell his truck quickly!

Anyway, after being down for so long with the iron-deficiency symptoms, sicknesses, and all that I really need to work hard to get the kids back on a routine of some sort and get myself back into a cleaning routine again too! I am very excited to do this as the chaos overwhelms me and makes me irritable.

I am also very much anticipating a mini-vacation we'll be taking in a while for a weekend. I know it'll be a lot of work considering our children's ages but nonetheless I know it will be so much fun and a blessed retreat for a few days from our "everyday life".

Hopefully I'll get back to blogging more consistently. I'm also excitedly anticipating purchasing my kindergarden curriculum for Bailey. I hope to buy it by July and start her the first week of August.

My garden didn't grow as I had hoped, but my corn, strawberries, peppers, and tomatoes are doing well. I only had a select few of the green beans, carrots, and lettuce that came up. This is definitely a hands-on learning experience for me as I am learning as I go. I am already anxious for next year for what I can do different and better!