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I'm so new to this concept of attachment problems that I'm really not sure what progress is! I do know that it seems there has been progress in some areas. In fact, two weeks ago, she ran to me and gave me a hug and said "I love you, Mom!" I have NEVER heard those words come out of her mouth before! Now, anyone that has a child with attachment disorder can guess what happened next: a lot of days of bad behavior! And I got so exhausted from those days, I just wanted to QUIT!! But we got through it, with the Lord's help. And she is now back to some pretty good days. There is always some silly thing she does each day...some things worse than others. And she has even said a few times (to make up for her "I love you" slip), that she, in fact, DOES NOT love me!! She tends to seek negative consequences from me, so she can think I am a "mean" mom. It's been a real challenge for me to balance some consequences with doing nice things for her "because I love her". She also seeks things which she can control. For instance, in our house, if you don't eat your food, you get it for the next meal and you don't get to have dessert and lots of times Mom gives you more of what you don't like (see last year's post about BOOT CAMP). This was a big thing for her the past week. She decided to try the "refusal to eat" trick which I hadn't seen in a LONG time! This was something she could control. So I had to rethink my normal "consequences". I won't bore you with all the details...I just began to vary the consequences so she could not be in control. It worked great and she is back to eating normally. Consistency is not so good for a kiddo who seeks control...they learn to manipulate that way. Weird, huh? Normally, being INCONSISTENT is NOT a good way to parent! But weird is the new normal here! We have done some of the weirdest things to make sure she thinks we aren't bothered by some of her behaviors (even though we are bothered!).....screaming contests, bad manners meals, burping contests, etc. On another note, the kids have decided that our next vehicle should be a bus. Just last week, Josephine told me that we should get a big yellow bus. So I did find a smaller one-it's even yellow, complete with the stop sign and flashing lights. All the kids wanted to go look at it right away. You know your family is getting big if your kids start begging for a school bus! Seriously though, we are considering a shuttle-bus type vehicle, just not yellow! School is finally over and I am trying to get the portfolios ready for the eval. It's taking a loooong time! I guess that is because I find other things to do (like blogging) when I have time to work on it! Thanks so much for keeping us in your prayers over the past few months. We can't tell you how much we appreciate this. It has been a very difficult time for our family. We are excited to see what we think is some progress but I do have to say that yesterday was one of the worst we've had for a while. She just could not snap out of her bad mood and it just escalated (into pooping in her pee bucket in her room and then wetting in her pants while she was cleaning the bucket-YIKES!). Later, I was able to have a nice talk with her before bedtime and her anger was resolved. So keep those prayers coming! Have a great night! |
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