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Many times I've been asked what I would do if "I had it to do all over again." I think we all ponder on such questions especially when we approach a milestone. Now that I've way past the big five-o, (50 years old) looking back over my life, I would have to say, "I wish I had never taken that blankie away."
Of course she was plenty old enough for me to take the torn, tattered piece of a cover away. Who could recognize the little white lamb amongst thinning chenille? And in 1968, as a teenage mother don't you know I had all the answers? Sure, it was tearing to shreds in the washer and with all that dragging around everywhere, it had to be transporting germs as well as dirt. But did I really have to take it away?
Studies have said that what the baby falls in love with is their very own baby smell. They find comfort in that. I can identify with loving that sweet smell and the feel of baby soft hair and skin against my lips as we rocked. But when that baby bottle leaked on the blankie look out. Sour milk can't be comforting to a child or can it?
So I confess, I'm guilty. Before she goes on Oprah or writes the next "Mommy Dearest" book, I take full responsibility. Mothers have been blamed for everything anyway when a child doesn't make the transition into a responsible adult. One mother is blamed for not spending enough time with the child (she had to work) another for smothering them with over-protection (stay-at-home Mom). They are accused of being too strict or not strict enough. It is a no win situation. Alcoholics, drug addicts and prison inmates all have one scapegoat and it is spelled MOM.
Funny thing though, Hallmark, who gives cards to inmates to send to their families, has said they can't find takers for Father's Day cards but everyone wants a Mother's Day card to send. I guess when they have time to think, Mom wasn't so bad after all.
I can still remember the image of the little two-year-old running after me as I take blankie to the garbage can. Tears streaming down her cheeks, she couldn't persuade me to change my mind.
But you know what? I am not one who does not learn from my mistakes. In my later years I had three daughters and their blankies are still here. They are torn and tattered, yes, but they are safely put away in case they would want them.
Because, in reflecting back I'm sure one of the biggest mistakes in my life was taking that blankie away. If I had it to do all over again, I'd give it back!
Donna Collins Tinsley
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