I just now realized how long it has been since I've posted!!!!  Wow!  So long!  So much has been happening.  I have so many ideas for posting in my head when I'm away from the computer, then when I sit down to write, I get caught up in looking at so many other things that the ideas just float away! 

California:  DD and I made a trek to Cali last week for the funeral of my oldest sister.  It was odd.  I have had no relationship with this sister for years.  It took me years to be ok with that.  We just happened to be born into the same family and did not have to be friends. This was hard to come to grips with.  The lack of sistership or friendship was as much my decision as distance was.  We had a difficult road to travel and we chose to take seperate paths.  I'm ok with it.  It was hard to watch my mom, grandmother and my nieces and nephew go through their grief, but that is why we were there.  To be there for them.  And we were.  And I was glad.

We also got to see many friends and church family.  It was a tiring 5 days and I was really ready to be back home in my own bed at night.  It was not so much that I wanted to be in _______ville, just at home.  Home were I could be fully comfortable.  I have trouble, no matter how accomodating hosts may be, being comfortable away from home. 

Work:  Well, how strange that has been.  While in Cali I got several calls for job interviews and a few calls about temp assignments.  So, when I got home, I went on one interview, worked one day of a split two day temp job, had the weekend  and tomorrow I go on another job interview, work at a bakery on Tuesday and work the second day of the split temp job.  After the holiday, I have a final interview with the place from last week.  I go back to interview with the hiring team at the first interview place.  I know that sounds confusing, but really I have it all somewhat together.  In the meantime, I'm wondering, what do I want to do with my life?????  I really don't want a job that I'm only doing for the paycheck.  Most of my jobs have been just that.  This is an opportunity for all the young people out there to read and learn.  GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!  Find a profession, or at least a vocation!!!!!!! I've read Max Lucado's book, "Cure for the Common Life, Living in your sweet spot", twice now.  My dh suggested I read it again after spilling my woe to him earlier.  I told him that I think the sedond reading depressed me.  I want to work a job that incorporates my passions and a paycheck.  So far no dice.  I need a mentor.  A business or work mentor.  Someone that can point me in the right direction on how to do what I love for a living.  I really enjoy  baking, I really enjoy planning parties and events, I loved working in ministry.  After working in ministry, I think it spoiled me to working a regular job.  I worked in an office at the church, but I really liked it.  I was able to plan activities, help plan Missions conferences, VBS and other things that allowed the creative side of my mind to vent.  I've worked in office jobs since moving here, but none have had the people factor mixed with the creative factor mixed with the kid factor or the baking factor.  I think I'm having a mid life crises.  I want to work in something I enjoy and make a living and be at home with my dd.  Taking care of the house and working in community things and so on.  Curse the 70's and all the women's lib stuff that told us we could have it all.  (Acutally I'm thankful to an extent for all the work that was accomplished on behalf of women by women before us, without that we would not have these choices that are so driving me mad, so please don't get upset over the last sentence).  Just know that I'm frustrated.  Wow, that little topic certainly got away from me.

Church: We had our first annual Thanksgiving potluck at our new little church.  There really is a great spirit there.  So many stood and mentioned that they were thankful for the group that we are and how we seem to really love each other and take care of each other.  After the things that happened to make this church come about, it is amazing that a group of people can come together with the sweet spirit that we have and enjoy each others' company.  I know that this is only possible through the atoning blood of my Savior Jesus Christ.  Thank you Lord for all that you did for us, for me.  There were several funerals in our church family in the last week or two and our church family supported the families and loved them unconditionally.  For that I'm thankful.

Holiday Wishes:  This upcoming holiday season as it were will be quite different for my family.  We have had a very difficult year financially and spiritually.  I go into this holiest of times with gratitude on my heart.  I'm grateful for my family, my church family, my friends, and most especially my Lord.  I'm thankful that He keeps His promises.  When I feel alone and like He is not there, I cry out to Him and He makes Himself known in ways that only He can.  I'm never truely alone, not with Him in my heart.  I may feel distant from Him, but that is me, not Him.  I love my Lord!

Good night and blessings.