A homeschooler here in Washington wrote this article. I thought it was pretty good, so I'm sharing it with you. The only thing I think I would add is that actual involvement in pornography is not the only danger of cell phone and internet use (although that's a high enough risk all in itself) and just because we homeschool does not mean our children are protected from these dangers. There are scales of grey regarding what we choose to center our minds on and the internet (and texting and movies and what we see in stores and what we listen to on the radio, etc.) are all real dangers. They can also be a blessing. Let's go for God's best. Let's honor Him with our lives.
Thinking about Giving a Cell Phone, iPod, or PDA for Christmas?
Protect Your Family from Pornography
By Lori from WA
While technology can be a fantastic tool for worthwhile endeavors, it can also be an instrument for engaging in grave evil. Advancing electronic technology has made pornography and sexual content readily accessible on cell phones, iPods, and PDA’s (and basically any other wireless or mobile entertainment device). If that’s not bad enough, individuals can buy long distance phone cards at the grocery store to use for anonymous “phone sex,” and download music mp3s with explicit content. In other words, we’re not just talking about protecting children from internet porn any more. Even if your family doesn’t own any of the previously mentioned electronic devices, your friends do and your children’s friends do too. Most of us have a TVan electronic device that will become more problematic as it continues to morph and merge with other technology.
Pornography is a global problem, but America owns a lion’s share of the blame. According to Michael Leahy, recovering sex addict and bestselling author of Porn Nation: Conquering America's #1 Addiction, pornography is “a 57 billion a year global industry and America is the largest producer, consumer and exporter of porn in the world.” Leahy is an expert on emerging tech trends in pornography and has been featured on ABC's 20/20, The View, USA Today, and numerous other major media sources.
According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, children are often exposed to pornography between the ages of 10-14, if not before. I would add that today’s pornography is exponentially worse than what my generation saw in 1970s magazines (featuring women). The Internet contains the most vile filth of every kind, including the sexual exploitation of very young children, sodomy, bestiality, and horrors that would be inappropriate to mention here. All of these images and video are just a mouse click away.
Approximately 60 percent or more of the Internet is made up of sexually explicit content. According to Family Safe Media, 72 percent of males and 28 percent of females (yes, females) visit pornography sites. Pornography is easy to access and easy to engage in privately and secretly. The same goes for explicit conversation via texting (or “sexting”) which can be typed out right under a parent’s nose.
Here are four reasons I’ve heard from parents as to why they are not safeguarding their children:
(1) “I’m computer/electronics illiterate--I don’t know what these devices are capable of doing and my kids know way more than me. I don’t feel equipped to figure out how to install or administer filtering software or parental controls.”
My response: Hold off buying or allowing your children to have these electronic gadgets until they become necessary. And, when you buy, consider your children’s needsnot wants. For example, there are cell phones on the market without picture/video/internet capabilities (research and ask about them). There are also “stand-alone” electronic organizers you can buy as opposed to a PDA (does a 15-year-old really need to sync their schedule with a computer?). If you decide to consider a mainstream electronic device, ask retailers and service providers if you can shut down certain capabilities (learn also if the phone can connect to internet via other wired/wireless connections outside your home, and if the device can download and upload media). In summary, get informed with the basics. Then, get help from on-line resources, friends, and your local retail/computer store to be sure you can put filtering or specific parental controls in place.
(2) “I trust my children. They can only go on the Internet when I’m at home, otherwise they know they’re not allowed.”
My response: My husband and I don’t trust ourselves not to sin, and we don’t trust our kids not to sin. I recently read a quote from a pastor named Bill Perkins that pretty much sums it up: "If you think you can't fall into sexual sin, then you're godlier than David, stronger than Samson, and wiser than Solomon.” The stakes are high with pornography so my husband and I take serious precautions to reduce the risk of exposure. Here’s what we have in place: We log on to our computer with a parental password (important: it’s not written down anywhere). I have an administrative password for our filter which only I know (important: it’s not written down anywhere). Our filtering company sends regular Internet activity reports to my husband and me (he and I are both accountable to each other as well as with the kids). We have a separate user account for our oldest who needs access to the internet for classes. His user account is filtered down to a “white list” of preapproved sites with no search capability. Further, his email may only receive messages from pre-authorized senders. Now, you may think all of this is extreme, and your family may choose do the filtering differently (it’s a personal decision and it’s up to you). However, I’m trying to stress that I’m much more concerned about limiting the risk of exposure to pornography than other less “risky” areas where my children might disobey me. If a device poses a risk, it’s either treated as a “controlled substance” or it’s out of here.
(3) “I’m so busy, I don’t have time.”
My response: Please make the time and let something else slide for a while. Our children are an inheritance and a gift from the Lord. They deserve our responsible and reasonable protection.
(4) “Sooner or later my children are going to be exposed to pornography. I can’t control their sinful hearts, or their temptations. If they look for something hard enough, they’ll find it.”
My response: While there are many aspects of our children’s lives that we cannot control, including the sinful nature of their hearts and the sin that surrounds us, it’s important that we don’t assume a fatalistic attitude that equates to laziness. Our children may gain access to pornography elsewhere. But, my husband’s and my personal goal is to make it as difficult as possible for our children (or anyone else’s children) to access pornography in our home, or on a device someone in our family carries around with them. As parents, we must also pray consistently for our children’s hearts, their pursuit of holiness, and for the restraint of evil in this world. We also must pray for the salvation and/or rescue of those who are trapped in the slavery of pornography, which is an addiction that affects non-Christians and Christians alike.
Parents, you can do this! Please visit the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families (NCPCF) at http://www.nationalcoalition.org/home.asp You will find a wealth of information including opening lines of communication with your children regarding pornography, and how to be a wise shopper (learning about the capabilities of electronic devices before buying). You’ll also find information about filtering software and applications for the Internet and portable electronic devices, statistics, and other excellent resources. The two filters recommended on the website have filtering for internet and mobile phones whereas most others do not.
A sister-section of the NCPCF website has a page that’s an excellent starting place: http://www.icarecoalition.org/icarepurpose.asp
Lastly, if you have a child who has, or is engaging in the sin of pornography, here is an excellent article for parents about a Christ-centered approach to helping them: http://www.crosswalk.com/parenting/teens/11600384/
|
