Last month, we learned that my dh has multiple nodules in both of his lungs.  We don't know exactly what we are dealing with yet, and the doctor is waiting to do a follow up CT scan in a couple of months, so until then we are waiting on the Lord.  We received this news a week after my mother had her fourth heart attack this year.  Once again, we are spending a lot of time at hospitals.  Since my natural gifting isn't mercy, I have to wonder why the Lord keeps bringing me back to sickbeds.  Maybe he's trying to teach me something?!?! 

Somehow we have managed to stay on top of of our school schedule, for the most part, only leaving a few minor things out here and there.  We are also continuing to do vision therapy and sensory integration therapy at home each day.  The Lord has been very good to us, because we have taken several trips to the lake in the last month, where we have a place to stay (for free!) whenever we want.  We take our own food, so we only pay for gas and have a nice, cheap family get-away.  The weather has still been pretty and I am glad that after the 100 degree heat we had this summer, the Lord has finally brought us cooler but reasonable temperatures.  Our lakehouse is right next door to a National Recreation & Wildlife area, so it has been wonderful to enjoy nature and hiking with the kids.  We want to enjoy as much time together as a family before we have to face whatever we are dealing with regarding my dh. 

Tonight my dh and I had a discussion about priorities.  I am managing to stay on top of the cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, errands, homeschooling and all of the medical appointments, but somehow the housework is slipping--badly.  I tend to be a perfectionist and I am no longer comfortable in my own home.  I also feel like my two younger children are being shortchanged in all of this.  My dh graciously discussed ways we could cut back on our homeschooling schedule without doing away with it entirely.  We want to do school as much as possible now, in case things get worse down the road and we have to take a break for awhile.

Hopefully, we will find the right balance.  God is good.  May he cover us with his peace and his grace as we wait on Him and finish the race he has given us to run.

We went back for another appointment last week (we go in every two weeks), and Eenie is really pleased with the progress she is making.  In fact, she told me the other day that she is not sure she wants to get better because vision therapy is so much fun.  It seems like play to her and she likes the individual attention and the sensory opportunities they give her in therapy.  I am glad that she hasn't put the label on herself of being "learning disabled", because she is really very bright and just needs a little help in a few areas.  If she saw herself as "LD" I"m afraid it would be hurtful to her emotionally, so we've worked really hard to present this whole thing in a really positive light, so that she understands everyone has areas they struggle with and require extra help.  Vision and sensory issues are just her areas.

She is working really hard on her home therapy each day.  We have only missed one day since we began, and we actually did part of her exercises that day.  She was just too tired to finish them.  Bad planning on my part, as I decided that because she had a friend over to play that day, she could wait until after her friend left to do therapy.  Unfortunately for Eenie, she was so wound up and physically and emotionally exhausted from the day that she just did a couple of the exercises before I excused her.  Her friend was here from sun-up to sun-down, and we went to the zoo in 100+ degree heat, so I understand her exhaustion.  I was pretty exhausted myself.  From now on, I will have to insist she does her therapy even if she does have a friend here.

Her friend was planning to spend the night.  We normally don't believe in sleep-overs, but this was her cousin, and we've been trying to minister to her, so we thought about letting her spend the night last night.  It became obvious to me halfway through the day, however, that the girls were just not meshing well and that a sleepover was not a good idea for them that night.  Fortunately, I talked to my sister-in-law when she came to pick my niece up, and she was very understanding about everything.  The girls were begging us both right up until the end to sleepover at one home or another, but, strangely enough, right after my niece left, my dd thanked me and told me she was glad that she wasn't going to be spending the night since it hadn't been much fun that day. 

Part of the problem was that my niece and my daughter have very different tastes.  I guess next time, I need to sit them down and come up with a list of activities they both like to do so that they can each have fun.  My niece is very strong-willed and if she doesn't want to play something, she will go off and do her own thing, and my dd is hurt.  So my dd will give in every time just to make her guest happy, and after awhile she gets tired of it.  I can't blame her!  She has been trained to prefer others above herself and I realize that is a good thing, but I'm worried that her people pleasing ways will get her into trouble some day, since she may not have the discernment to know when she should stand firm.  I told her that it is okay not to give in sometimes as long as she tells her cousin lovingly and is willing to accept that she might have to play by herself for awhile. 

I don't know how other parents do it!  Having my kids play with other children is exhausting to me because I moniter things very closely.  I also hurt when my kids hurt and wish things were a little different.  If the kids went to school, I guess they'd just have to moniter themselves, but I don't feel right about that.  I keep a pretty short leash at this point--especially now that I realize what issues are present.  The SID creates many social issues, and even though my kids are very social and crave interaction with other kids, somehow they always leave disatisfied.  Hopefully, things will improve through training and therapy and lots and lots of prayer.

Have any of you ever read that book "If You Give A Mouse a Cookie"?  This is my life, multiplied by four (dh plus three dc).  The hard part is that my dh is part of the "mouse a cookie" problem.  The Lord has been trying to teach me to be less controlling and inflexible, I know, and he has used my "mouse a cookie" family as his primary teaching tool.  At the end of the day, I am just like this poor exhausted boy in the story, running around trying to keep the mouse under control, when it all started with a cookie.  It would be easier if dh realized this was a problem, and backed me up on setting some guidelines, but, since he doesn't, I've decided to allow chaos to rule, since I'm not going to battle with dh on this issue anymore.  It's been stressful for me, to say the least, because I am highly visual and can't stand clutter and half-done projects everywhere, but nonetheless, I will accept it as the Lord's will for my life right now. 

Recently we discovered that our oldest child, Eenie, has sensory integration dysfunction (SID).  This is a pretty generic term whose symptoms can look different in different people.  What is SID?  SID occurs when the central nervous system has problems in taking in sensory information (the five senses plus movement and spatial sense), processing the sensory information, or responding to the information taken in through the senses (which is basically all information).  In essence, the central nervous system short-circuits. 

In the case of Eenie, she is hyposensitive to touch.  She touches everything and everybody, and is constantly on the move.  Yet, she can't stand other people touching her.  She is very distracted visually and auditorally, yet her vision issues are serious enough to cause difficulty with reading.  Such a contradiction.  She can be overly sensitive to criticism.  She is hyperactive, distractible, but highly intelligent and has very advanced language skills. 

I have always known she was different, but I have chosen to believe that it was a personality issue.  She is like her father (who also has SID), and that reinforced my belief that everything would work out OK.  Yet, he has struggled through life.  He is a happy well-adjusted adult, who holds down a good job.  But, things have always been harder for him than they are for other people.  We've decided we would like to try and see what we can do for Eenie while her brain and nervous system are still young enough to be malleable.

Now that we know the problem, we are going to consult an occupation therapist (OT) and see what type of therapy we can do at home for Eenie.  Part of her vision therapy may help, but we also want to be senstive on the home front.  I am partway through the book The Out-of-Sync Child, and it has been enlightening.  I am learning things about my daughter (and my husband) that I've never understood (and probably never will, in some ways).  There are so many changes I feel that I need to make, but I know I can't do it all at once.  I pray that the Holy Spirit will give me direction and prioritize things for me, so that I am not overwhelmed. 

We went back for another appt. with our vision therapist today, and Eenie is improving.  She mastered one of the exercises so completely (the Seatwalk), that she doesn't have to do this one on a daily basis anymore.  Next, we will be learning to skip, using opposite arm movements.  It is amazing to me that skipping can be related to reading, but my mother, who has been a teacher and tutor for years, has reaffirmed this concept.  She used a program called Powerline to tutor her students, and they taught that kids who had difficulty doing certain physical things--such as skipping--would also have difficulty reading. . . something about how the brain is wired, I guess. 

This was a really tough couple of weeks for us.  The exercises were all new to her, and very stressful for dd.  She is a firstborn of two firstborn parents, so needless to say, she puts an immense amount of pressure on herself.  I finally started playing music to help her relax during the exercises.  Her muscles were so sore that one day, after we went to a play one evening, she couldn't walk afterwards, and her dad had to carry her to the car.  It was sad to see her in such pain, but they told me it wasn't unusual, and it is getting easier for her.  Eenie is a super active child, but I guess she just hasn't been using these same muscles. 

Her attitude and effort has been super.  I couldn't ask for better.  She knows it is hard for her to read, and that her distractibility interferes with her daily schedule.  She wants to be better, and that is good.  We asked for prayer at home church the other night--that she would make rapid progress in the program--and so far, I believe that prayer is being answered.  God is so faithful.

Consider each question, and write the answer that applies to your child. 

The test scores as follows:

Never-0; Seldom-1; Occasional-2; Frequent-3; Always-4

1.  Blur when looking near                                                                

2.  Double vision, doubled or overlapping words on page                  

3.  Headaches while or after doing near vision work                          

4.  Words appear to run together while reading                                 

5.  Burning, itching or watery eyes                                                     

6.  Falls asleep while reading                                                            

7.  Seeing and visual work is worse at the end of the day                  

8.  Skips or repeats lines while reading

9.  Dizziness or nausea when doing near work.

10. Head tilts or one eye is closed or covered while reading.

11. Difficulty copying from the chalkboard

12. Avoids doing near vision work such as reading.

13. Omits (drops out) small words while reading.

14. Writes up or down hill.

15. Misaligns digits or columns of numbers

16. Reading comprehension low, or declines as day wears on

17. Holds books too close, leans too close to computer screen

18. Trouble keeping attention centered on reading.

19. Poor, inconsistent performance in sports

20. Difficulty completing assignments on time

21. First response is "I can't" before trying

22. Avoids sports and games

23. Poor hand/eye coordination, such as poor handwriting

24. Does not judge distances accurately

25. Clumsy, accident prone, knocks things over

26. Does not use or plan his/her time well

27.  Does not count or make change well

28. Loses belongings and things

29. Car or motion sickness

30. Forgetful, poor memory

If your child scores between 20-24, using the scoring indicated above, they are suspect for a visual therapy evaluation, and if they are 25 or above they probably need to be referred for an evaluation.

I posted this over on Scott Sommerville's blogpage, where he requested input on "What Wives Wish Their Husband's Knew About Homeschooling".  Many times I am discontent with my husband's slow but steady ways, but when I really stopped today to evaluate what he is doing RIGHT, there were so many things.  I am very blessed.

My dh has been very supportive of homeschooling all along, attending convention with me every year, partipating in curriculum choices with me, and giving me a very generous budget to spend on homeschooling materials (considering our small income). He also acts as principal and backs me up on discipline issues. In addition, he pitches in on household tasks that I consider "my job" so that I can devote more of myself to homeschooling my children. I feel guilty about him helping out around the house, but the one thing my husband realizes is that homeschooling children (depending on how many and the method you choose) can be the same as holding a part-time, or maybe even full-time job. One of the most important things my husband does is LISTEN to me. He is a sounding board when I am having a challenge or difficulty with one of the children, or maybe just need to change direction with them. Who else would be as invested in my children's futures as their father? He cares about them and loves them as no one else could. My husband does not consider himself a "book person" who is gifted academically, but he has an excellent grasp on how to support the academic growth of his children. Even if a husband does not consider himself academically gifted, he should share what he does know with his children. My dh will take our children outside after dark and look at the stars and moon with his telescope. He also participated in a Shakespeare reading with us the other night, taking turns narrating with our daughter. This meant so much to me and to our daughter! Hopefully, the trend continues. I wish other homeschooling fathers were as supportive as my husband, but sadly many are not. If I could offer an additional suggestion, it would be that fathers need to realize that just because their wife is not up cooking a meal, or scrubbing the floor, etc., if she is writing lesson plans, previewing books, grading papers, or working on record keeping, she is still working and the work is just as valid and important as the "housework". She can also be more efficient in taking care of the "paperwork" part of homeschooling, if she can have some time alone. So, take the kids to the zoo or on a nature walk, and let your wife have some planning time! For a final suggestion, fathers can be great to have along on field trips. The kids are excited to share experiences with their father, and there are many free or inexpensive choices ranging from family camping trips to local arts festivals. Blessings! Kerri

These are questions that my doctor (Dr. Sam Oliphant in Oklahoma City) suggests you should ask a developmental optometrist to determine if they are truly qualified to evaluate and treat learning-related vision problems:

Although we started off in a serious mood this morning, with a solemn reading of the Declaration of Independence, we've been having fun with this link all morning.  My kids are dancing all over the house waving flags and having a great time.  Hope you enjoy it too.  http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/grandoldflag.html

Tonight, we had one of the best evenings I can remember having as a family in a long time.  A local theater company in our area does what they call "Shakespeare in the Park" each summer, generally performing three Shakespeare works over the course of the summer months.  It is very nice, because it is outdoors (don't have to worry as much about the kids getting rowdy ), and you can bring lawn chairs and your own food and have a picnic while you watch the play.  After being invited to attend "Two Gentlemen from Verona" with some friends this coming Thursday, I decided I should read it to my kids first, so that they would have an idea of what was happening when they saw the play.  Since my children are young, we use the Lamb's Shakespeare recommended by the advisory of the Ambleside Online curriculum (www.amblesideonline.org).  Normally, we complete our readings during the day, but tonight we didn't begin this one until Daddy got home from work.  Now, my husband is not a book person, but with a little persuasion he agreed to be a willing participant in our Shakespeare reading, and even take turns narrating with our daughter.  This was an awesome experience, because he really got into the play and understood it better than he thought he would (he doesn't give himself enough credit--he is very smart).  My daughter was very motivated to listen and to narrate, because her Dad was there and took a turn at narrating too.  Since she is my only student right now (the others are too little), the burden of narrating always falls on her, and she finds it tedious, at times.  After reading halfway through the play, I stopped so that they could have some time to mull over what they heard and process it (as per Charlotte Mason's recommendation).  They were actually begging me to continue!  This was wonderful because everyone was into the play, and the TV was off (which is my idea of heaven on earth--lol).  I can't wait to finish reading the play later on in the week, and we are definitely look forward to the performance on Thursday night.

As pointed out previously, it is not what you "know" but how you act on what you know, that indicates what you truly believe.  In the Bible, even demons knew who Jesus Christ was and recognized him, but did they act on that belief?  Of course not.  Satan is very clever and will attack us in the areas where we are weakest.  He will also convince us of Half-Truths, which are just as damaging, and then convince us that we are not blind. 

One of the most dangerous areas he attacks is our belief system about God.  Satan knows that if our thinking about God is skewed, our thinking will be skewed everywhere else.  Bottom line:

What we believe about God determines how we live.

--Nancy Leigh Demoss

 

I also love this quote by Hannah Whithall Smith in the book The Unselfishness of God:

Everything in your spiritual life depends on the sort of God you worship.  Because the character of the worshiper will always be molded by the character of what he worships: If it is a cruel and revengeful God, the worshiper will be the same, but if it is a loving, tender, forgiving, unselfish God, the worshiper will be transformed slowly, wonderfully, into this likeness.

 

I'll be brief in this section, because if you are interested in further study, you will have to buy the book:-)  DeMoss's commentary is great and gave me a new way of thinking and evaluating whether or not I had actually bought in to a particular lie, so if you don't have the book, I would encourage you go get it.  (I have seen it at Mardels right now marked down.)  The following are lies we sometimes believe about God:

1.  God is not really good.  If he were, he would. . .

This a particularly damaging lie because once Satan can get us to doubt God's goodness, we can justify all types of sin.  In essence, it give us license to reject God's will and make our own decisions because we don't believe that God's decisions and plans for our life are "good". 

Truth:  God is good and everything He does is good.  Ps 31:19; Ps 34:8; Ps 100:5; Ps 106:1; Ps 119:68; Ps 136:1; Eph 1:3-14 (also Jer 29:11)

Truth: God never makes mistakes.  Isa 46:10; Rom 8:28-39

2.  God doesn't love me.

This is a lie I have struggled with throughout my life.  I remember thinking how much I would love to have a relationship with God, if only he loved me.  God's love for us is not based on how we feel.  He loves us whether we feel loved or not.  However, if we believe that he loves "others" and not us, it will affect every area of our lives and relationships.  God loves even you.

Truth: God's love for me is infinite and unconditional.  John 15:13; Rom 5:8; Rom 8:32, 38-39; Eph 3:14-19; I John 4:7-10

Truth: I don't have to perform to earn God's love or favor.  Eph 1:4-6

Truth: God always has my best interests at heart.  Psalm 21

3.  God is just like my father.

The wisest kindest earthly father can only be a pale image of what God really is because they are all imperfect.  But in reality, many of us had fathers who were extremely flawed.  Don't let your image of your earthly father distort your perception of your heavenly father.

Truth: God is exactly what He has revealed Himself to be in his Word.  John 1:1; Heb 1:3

Truth: God is infinitely more wise and loving than any earthly father could ever be.  Heb 12:9-10

4.  God is not really enough.

Do we truly believe God is enough, or are we looking to other things or people to fill the void? 

Truth: God is enough.  If I have Him, I have all I need.  Ps 23:1; Ps 73:23-26; Col 2:9-10

5.  God's ways are too restrictive.

We are free to choose our own path, but we are not free to choose the consequences.  Satan would love for us to believe that following God will make us miserable.  In reality, it is the only path to peace and freedom.

Truth: God's ways are best. Deut 6:24-25; Josh 1:8

Truth: God's restrictions are always for my good.  James 1:19-27

Truth: Resisting or rebelling against God's ways brings conflict and heartache.  Ps 68:6; Prov 15:32-33

6.  God should fix my problems. 

This lie is perpetuated by many leaders in the Christian community, and, unfortunately, it causes many women to become bitter and angry.  While some things may be better (i.e., we won't have to continue living in sin, and therefore will avoid many of the consequences of sinful choices--although not the past ones), God has never promised that the path we take when we follow him is easy.  In fact, he states quite the opposite.  God is much more concerned with transforming our character (and the character of others through us) into his likeness, than he is giving us a problem-free life.  It helps to keep your eyes on Jesus and live with an eternal rather than an earthly perspective.

Truth: Life is hard.  Rom 8:21-22

Truth: God is more concerned about glorifying Himself and changing me than about solving all my problems.  2 Cor 4:17

Truth: God has an eternal purpose He is fulfilling in the midst of my problems.   Rom 5:3-4; James 1:2-4

Truth: God wants to use my problems as part of His sanctifying process in my life.  Job 23:10

Truth: No matter what problem I am facing God's grace is sufficient for me.  2 Cor 12:7-10

Before beginning this section, I encourage you to ask God to give you wisdom (James 1:5) and to reveal His Truth to you.  It is a good idea to go through each of these lies, slowly, meditate on the Truths and Scriptures and begin replacing lies with the Truth (Rom 12:2) .  Try it!  It could be life changing.

Since Monday night, my 5-year old nephew has been in the hospital, and we have had our 7-year old niece with us.  For over a year now, my nephew has fought a battle with leukemia.  He has been through so much and was doing so well, and it has become easier and easier to feel that he is "safe".  After celebrating his 5th birthday the 2nd week of June, we were all rejoicing over his survival.  However, after being sick for a few days, Monday night, he was taken to the hospital with an unidentified infection.  He has virtually no white count, so his body has no way to fight whatever is attacking it.  Please pray for him, if you think of it. 

When he got first got sick (last year), the whole family rallied around him, lavishing time, attention and gifts on him.  It was a hard fight, at first, and we didn't know if he would make it.  Although we tried hard not to exclude his sister and made an effort to give her an equal share of time and attention, understandably, it was inadequate in her eyes.

Having her here the last few days, it has become apparent to me that she has some serious needs.  She is a sweet little girl, but she is hurting.  She'll be repeating first grade again next year, and I can't imagine what that is doing to her self-esteem.  The homework they loaded on her, added to the fact that her parents were spending so much time dealing with her younger brother made it impossible for her to succeed in public school.  I would love to homeschool her, or see her mother do it, but I don't really believe it would possible right now, for a number of reasons (among them being that her parents are divorced). 

If it is not God's will for us to be the ones ministering to her, I pray that God will bring someone else into her life.  But my wish is that God will show me some way to help her, both while she is staying with us and after she goes home.  I've been busy with my own family this year, and haven't made the time for her that I should have.   This could be blamed on a number of things, but bottom line is that here is a ministry opportunity in my own family.  Hopefully, I can rise to the occasion.

This post was something I originally sent to my Sizzlebop group, but wanted to post to my blog as well.  What is Sizzlebop?  For those of you who have children who would be more commonly called "ADD", "ADHD", or just seem to learn differently from other kids, there is a group to celebrate your children, and learn to work with them.  The group is called Sizzlebop and was started by Carol Barnier--author of How to Get Your Child Off the Refridgerator and on to Learning, and If I'm Diapering a Watermelon Then Where'd I Leave The Baby.  The group is at www.sizzlebop.com. 

The following is an exerpt of the post I sent to the group today:

This section is off topic, but something I have wanted to share with you for some time because I am confident that it is going to help my sizzlers, and I have seen other "sizzling" families be helped this way.  This week we began vision and sensory integration therapy for my oldest child--an 8yo girl.  What does this have to do with sizzlers, you may ask?  Many times the behavior characteristic of sizzlers (hyperactivity, distractibility or trouble concentrating, behavior problems, clumsiness, poor impulse control, poor handwriting, difficulty reading, difficulty copying things--especially from a blackboard, and many more) can be traced back to vision problems. 

 

When I talk about vision problems here, I do not mean eyesight.  Many kids with 20/20 eyesight still have vision problems.  Here vision problems are defined as the messages the brain receives from the eyes.  Some children have "developmental visual" problems.  In the same way some kids can be delayed in other areas such as talking or walking, doctors are discovering that many children are visually delayed or underdeveloped.  This problem can affect so many areas, and children who have these types of problems many times have sensory integration issues or SII (they will be hypersensitive to changes in sound, light, touch, taste, temperature, movement, smell, etc.), as well.  I am not an expert on these issues, but I intend to keep studying them now that I have discovered the link between them and my children's behavior. 

 

There are tests that can be performed to confirm whether or not your child has developmental visual problems and sensory integration issues.  After taking my child to see Dr. Sam Oliphant in Oklahoma City, who is a developmental optometrist (and also a Christian homeschooling father who spoke at the Oklahoma Christian Home Educators Convention last month), it was discovered that, indeed, my oldest child does have both developmental visual problems, along with the sensory integration issues.  The good news?  There is therapy that can be done for these issues that does not involve medication.  Some of the therapy is done in-office with my daughter, and some is done at home every day.  After visiting with several other homeschooling parents in my area who have gone through this therapy with their children, I heard confirming testimonies of its success with their children.  It has been life-changing for so many of these families. 

 

One of Dr. Oliphant's biggest suggestions was that most of these children need to get outside and play more, have more physical activity, do gross motor skills activities such as playing kickball, jumping on a trampoline, etc. and be trained to really observe things and use their eyes (check out Charlotte Mason education and teaching children to observe nature).  Play memory card games with them.  Have them look at a scene, close their eyes, and then try to describe it to you.  One of the biggest problems that many of these children have is that they cannot make mental pictures of things, or if they do make them, they don't retain them for very long.  This is a skill that can be practiced and learned.  Before you can expect a child to do anything--read, follow directions, handle social situations in an appropriate manner--they must be able to understand--and usually make a mental picture of what you need them to do.

 

Why does this affect reading?  If you see a word, such as "cannot", you can read it one of two ways.  One, phonetically, or two, by sight.  While phonics is a great tool, eventually readers have to get to the point where they have made a mental picture of the word and stored it in their brain, so that they don't have to "sound out" a word every time they come to it.  If they cannot do this, it will greatly impact their reading.  Many words in the English language aren't phonetic, so this poses an even greater problem.  These words must be recognized by sight, which is difficult or impossible for many of these children. 

 

Also, there are more complex issues such as eye movement (can their eyes follow the line of words properly on the page?), focusing (can their eyes stay in one place long enough to read the word?), and other eye issues that go along with the developmental visual problems.  Until the child's developmental vision is where it should be, they shouldn't even be pushed to learn to read, do copywork from a board, or anything that is not realistic given their limitations.  (It's like expecting someone with no legs to run a marathon.  Maybe they could get it done, but its just a lot harder than it should be.)  Instead, the time should be spent helping the child to develop their vision skills (see some of the suggestions above, or see what the vision therapist would recommend). 

 

One of the suggestions made to me as far as child-training was to specifically ask the child to make a mental picture of whatever you wanted them to do.  For example, if you want them to go upstairs and get the hairbrush, as you give them this instruction, pause afterwards and ask them to get a mental picture in their mind of what you are asking them to do--before sending them to do it ("Can you see yourself walking up the stairs and going into the bathroom?  Now, can you see yourself opening the drawer and removing the hairbrush?  Can you see yourself walking back downstairs and handing it to me?  Do you have the picture?  Well, good--go get it.")  .  Only give one task at a time, since these kids usually cannot get very many mental pictures at a time.  Using this technique, there is a greater chance of a positive outcome, and it usually results in less distractibility along the way. 

 

Many times this is a hereditary condition (haven't you mentioned that often one of the Sizzler's parents was also a Sizzler?), and in our case, my husband, "the Sizzler", has reading problems ("dyslexic"), is distractible, has sensory integration issues (he's especially sensitive to light and touch), and had learning and behavioral problems when he was in school.  If one of the parents or other siblings is a Sizzler, it is even more important to consider the possibility of visual or sensory integration issues.

 

For anyone interested in learning more about this, there is tons of information on the internet.  Google search "sensory integration issues" and you can read more than you ever wanted to know.  I would recommend anyone who parents a Sizzler to at least consider getting the child a developmental visual screening and possibly check them for sensory integration issues, as well.  This is usually done at a "developmental optometrist".  You may just have to call the optometrists in your area, and find out of they do this since most do not.  If they are in Oklahoma, I can highly recommend Dr. Oliphant. 

 

I hope this blesses someone else's family the way it has blessed ours.

 

We are celebrating this week.  Now that we've realized what the problem is, this is a new beginning.  I can homeschool my daughter with understanding and direction, having realistic expectations now that I understand more about her limitations.  God knew what he was doing when he gave her to me, and he has a plan for her and her life (and for me as her mother).  He is good and every good and perfect gift is from above. 

Today we are beginning vision therapy for Eenie (8yog).  It is somewhat if a stretch for our family to be able to afford this ($89 per session), but I believe it will be well worth it.  We began homeschooling 4 years ago, using the Abeka K4 program.  For this particular child, that is one of the worst choices I could have made! 

Why is that?  Well, she can read now, but she still struggles so much, she dreads it, and she is just now getting to the place where she will sit down and struggle through a few select books on her own, simply for her own enjoyment.  She is a firstborn, has a great heart, and we've discussed the importance of reading well, so she really does try hard.  It's not a matter of attitude.  But, it is so much harder for her than it should be--especially after four years of instruction. 

At our state homeschooling conference this year, I heard a developmental optometrist speak--Dr. Oliphant.  He and his wife are wonderful homeschooling parents who love the Lord.  When he began speaking about developmental visual problems, my husband and I were amazed.  We immediately recognized our daughter in his descriptions, and my dh recognized himself, as well.  (In fact, dh went to the optometrist and asked if he could do vision therapy.  Sadly, it is usually only effective for children.)  As the optometrist went on to explain, developmental visual problems have nothing to do with eyesight.  80% of the patients he treats have 20/20 or better vision.  The problem in developmental vision occurs with the messages the brain receives (or doesn't receive, in many cases) from the eyes.  To be able to read well, the brain has to be able to make pictures and store them--pictures of the actual words (so that they can be recognized the next time) and pictures of whatever is being read (whether it is talking about a butterfly and being able to make a mental picture of a butterfly). 

After having my daughter tested, we discovered that she had problems with focusing, eye movement, and thus, problems with spatial relationships.  In addition to struggling with reading, she is constantly running over people, has no concept of where her body is in relation to other things, and has no idea of time.  Again, she is a firstborn, has a great heart & attitude, and really trys to comply, so many of these problems have been minimized through diligent training and careful monitoring on my part.  But, they are still there, and it is all just harder--for both Eenie and myself--than it should have to be. 

Today, we will be testing for sensory integration issues (SII).  I am confident that we are going to find problems here, as well.  Many children with SII were very colicky (which she was), and skipped important developmental steps as children (for example, my daughter waited till 11 months to crawl, but then took off walking within a week or two).  Crawling actually helps develop many things in a child's vision that are important in later life.  Many of the reflexes that babies have (some of which we would never even recognize) are important to our developmental vision later in life. 

A lot of children with SII are diagnosed as ADD and ADHD.  They are finding that it isn't just a matter of discipline and training, but also therapy that can help these children function normally.  I have no doubt that if Eenie were in school, she would have a very difficult time concentrating and could possibly be a discipline issue for the teacher.  She definitely wouldn't learn well with the traditional textbook approach. 

Our developmental optometrist has also said that these problems can be hereditary, which means that since my husband has this, we need to watch out for it in our children.  My dh was diagnosed as dyslexic when he was younger, and still struggles to read today.  For example, he can't look at an entire word at once, and sometimes the letters jump around on the page.  He has the Bible on tape! 

So why was the Abeka a mistake for my dd?  First, until a child is developed visual to a certain point (usually around 6 or 7), you shouldn't even begin teaching them to read.  Instead, you get them outside and teach them to observe nature.  Teach them to really look at things and use their eyes.  Give them a lot of physical activity.  Throw a ball, etc.  Don't let them watch a lot of television.  Limit it or do away with it altogether.  (Sounds alot like Charlotte Mason education to me. . .)  But, I didn't do this with her.  Instead, I kept her indoors, plugging away at her letters and phonics sounds, bringing her to tears many times, and this was the worst thing I could have been doing for her especially because she had some very real problems. 

About a year and a half ago, I felt convicted to do something different in our school.  I didn't want to stand over my dd with a paddle for 12 years to beat her into doing school.  It was damaging our relationship to continue as we were.  So, I began researching and I discovered Charlotte Mason.  After praying about it, and discussing it with my dh, we made the switch and are now using Ambleside Online. 

After we switched, our relationship changed.  She was happier and seemed to have a better attitude towards school and towards me.  But, she still struggled with the reading thing. 

So, after hearing Dr. Oliphant speak at the conference, we discovered that her developmental vision, combined with my poor choice of approach to teaching her (textbook method), had been the problem all along.  After discussing with Dr. Oliphant what changes we should make to her education, he recommended the following: homeschool, if possible (check!), start working with her on really learning to observe things, especially outside in nature (check!), don't stress at this point about the phonics and reading until we get her developmental vision up to a certain level (check!), and use Math-U-See (check!). 

Wow!  So, the changes the Lord led me to make a year and a half ago, turned out to be exactly what she needed all along (only I didn't know it yet).  Isn't God good?  It was nice to have it confirmed by a doctor, and to realized that even when I don't know all the answers, that if I follow the Holy Spirit's leading, God will give me the direction and wisdom I need to homeschool my children. 

So, we are excited to be going today for the first real session, and I'm excited to see what changes God has in store for us as we go through vision therapy.  Pray that the Lord will bless our finances, so that we can continue to get treatment for our dear daughter.  God is so good!  God is so good!  God is so good!  He's so good to me.

How do we progress from freedom to deception to bondage?  Generally speaking, its not an overnight process.  I tend to think of it as "crossing bridges".  We cross one bridge that seems relatively harmless (although deep down, we may feel that something isn't quite right), then we cross the next bridge, and the next and the next.  After each bridge we cross, our conscience becomes more and more dull, and it gets darker (Where did the Light go?), and it is harder for us to see the truth.  Why does this happen?  Look below at each of the "bridges" that are crossed as we progress into bondage:

Four Steps into Bondage:

• We Listen to the Lie--Listening alone isn't disobedience.  But, listening to lies puts us on the "slippery slope" to death.  So how can we change this?  We must carefully guard the input we receive into our minds and hearts (and the input that our children receive, as well).  "We cannot expose ourselves to the world's false, deceptive way of thinking and come out unscathed."  Think about: reading material, friends we choose, church we attend, TV, movies, etc.  Are the messages you are receiving from these sources consistent with the Truth? (Phil 4:8)
• We Dwell on the Lie--here we mull it over in our minds and begin conversing with the Enemy.  Could he be right?  This is a very dangerous place to be.
• We Believe the Lie--Here is where, I believe, we as women tend to go wrong.  Instead of going immediately to God's Word, we fall back on what our "common sense", "intuition", "reasoning skills", and "emotions" or "feelings" tell us to be true.  Satan can many times win us over when we use these to evaluate what we are hearing.  This is why it is so important to be grounded in God's Word.  God's Word ALONE is the only consistent tool we can use to evaluate the input we receive.
• We Act on the Lie--Now we produce the fruit of deception.  Believing things that aren't true results in sinful behavior (Prov 23:7).  When we reject the Truth in one area, it becomes easier and easier to sin until we've worn a "groove" in our hearts and have developed a pattern of sinful behavior, and Satan has established a stronghold in our lives.  Now we find ourselves in bondage and we can't even figure out how we got there.

Every area of bondage in our lives can be traced back to a lie.

--Nancy Leigh Demoss

What an overwhelming and devestating place to find ourselves!  However, we've all been there, and fortunately, we have a God who loves us and has given us a plan to regain our freedom.  Assuming you have given your life to Christ (if you haven't-- you must begin here because trying to do this in your own strength will be insufficient), here are three steps you can take:

• In what areas am I in bondage or engaging in sinful behavior?--Ask God to show you specific areas where you are not free (2 Peter 2:19).  I've also found it helpful to ask my husband--as your spiritual head, he could have some amazing insight here.  At this point, many women make the mistake of simply trying to eliminate these areas on their own.  But, this generally doesn't work because you must get at the problem from the root--which began with the LIE.
• What lies are at the root of my areas of bondage or behavior?  Again, ask God to show you.  He wants you to know the Truth.  And he will be gracious to reveal these lies to you if you ask Him.  Once we have identified these lies, we must confess them to God and repent of them.  This step has taken a lot of time and deep soul searching for me.  I am still processing many of the things I've believed over the years and asking God to enlighten me.  I'm finding it life-changing and well worth the time. 
• You must REPLACE the lies with THE TRUTH.  If we do not replace the lies with Truth, we will fall back into bondage.  We must study God's Word, meditate on it, memorize it, engraft it into our hearts, minds and spirits.  As we begin to experience Truth (John 8:32), we will find ourselves walking in freedom and our actions will correspond with the Truth that we now believe.

White Cake Without Eggs

Milk, Egg and Wheat free—Contains Soy

This cake also makes a great birthday cake, but needs to be eaten right away.  When we saved it till the next day, it was rather hard.  Again, it will be a heavier, denser, moister cake when it is made with alternative flours and no eggs.  But, it tastes great.  Everyone in our family liked it, and we are pretty picky!

1 c. white rice flour (use the kind from the Asian market—its less gritty)

½ c. potato starch (available at healthfood stores)

Ό c. tapioca flour (available at healthfood stores)

½ tsp. xanthan gum (healthfood store)

2 Ό tsp. baking powder

Ό tsp. salt

Ύ  c. granulated sugar

1/3 c. vegetable oil

2 tsp. vanilla extract

½ c. soft silken tofu (I got this at the healthfood store)

Grated lemon peel of 1 lemon

½ c. boiling water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, and grease a 9 x 5 nonstick loaf pan (or line with parchment paper and grease both pan and paper).  You can also use two 5 x 3-inch cake pans.  Cake made with alternative flours and no eggs will rise much better in smaller pans.  Sift together flour, xanthan gum, baking powder and salt.  Set aside.

In food processor, cream together the sugar, oil, vanilla, tofu, and lemon peel.  Process on a high speed until completely smooth and glossy.  Add boiling water and process on high until completely mixed.  Add flour mixture and process until smooth.  Scrape down sides of bowl with spatula, if necessary.

Spoon batter into prepared pan(s) and bake 9 x 5-inch pan for 1 hour; small pans for 30-40 minutes or until tops are firm.  You can also bake 12 standard size cupcakes for 20-25 minutes or until tops are firm.  The cake will not brown.  Remove from oven and cool for 10-15 minutes before removing from pan.  Cool completely before cutting.  Serves 12.

It's amazing how much God has blessed me & my husband over (almost) 14 years of marriage.  Tonight, we have been chatting about the marriages of several families we know--marriages experiencing overwhelming trials.  We certainly didn't start off on the right path when we married.  Knowing each other for only a month, at 19 years old, we ran away from our parents and eloped.  He was a poor redneck who had never held down a job in his life.  I was a city slicker from an upper-middle class family, who had worked from age 16, lived independently and had two years of college under my belt.  Our backgrounds couldn't be more different.  We were both firstborns, and according to Dr. Kevin Lehman (The Birth Order Book), firstborns generally shouldn't marry, because they both want to be the "boss".  As far as dumb choices go, this has to be one of my top five.  However, God has given beauty for ashes and through wise, godly counsel, we have built a very good marriage.  In fact, for our ten year anniversary, we had a formal wedding to signify a new beginning--dress, tuxedo, church, cake and the whole nine yards.  While, we certainly have our moments (see TV Trials & Big Mouth Mamas from a few days ago), nowadays, we are generally content with one another.  I give God the glory for changing me and continuing to change me.  I certainly have many faults.  I am sometimes bossy, demanding, perfectionistic and don't know when to shut up (unfortunate traits associated with being a firstborn).  But, at heart I have a desire to submit to and honor my husband, and he honors my efforts in a way that is very humbling.  My husband is gracious, even when I fail, and he has allowed me to quit my job and come home with the children.  When I was working, I knew so many women whose husbands would not allow them to quit their jobs because of the lifestyle they wanted to live.  My heart breaks for these women, and I pray that God will give their husbands a new vision.  I praise God for humbling me, breaking down my pride, and bringing me back to Him.  It is only through His grace that I can become the woman of God that I long to be.  May I continue to decrease, so that He (and my husband) can increase.

One of Satan's first strategies against mankind was and still is to change our thinking about God.  If he can change how we think about God, it skews our perception of everything.  Most of us are too wise to fall for an all-out attack on God, so Satan subtly tricks us, deceives us, and seduces us by making us an offer that seems reasonable, desirable, and not entirely "anti-God."  This was his strategy back in Eden (Genesis 3:1-6), and it is the strategy he still employs today.  Regardless, if what we are receiving is contrary to God's word, it is WRONG.

• Satan uses a clever combination of outright lies, half-truths and falsehood disguised as truth.  He tempts us to be careless with God's Word (Did God really say. . .) (Gen.3:1; John 8:44). 
• Satan also causes us to question God's character and His love for us (Gen. 3:3). 
• Satan will lie to us about the consequences of our sin (Gen 3:4; Prov 14:12), and
• Satan promises us benefits for going against God's word (Gen. 3:5). 
• Just as he did with Eve, Satan deceives us and causes us to make decisions based on what we can see, and on what our emotions/reason tell us is right, regardless of what God says about it (Gen 3:6).

Women are particularly vulnerable to Satan's deception (2 Cor 11:3; I Tim 2:14).  He knows that if we buy into his deception, we will influence the men around us (and our children!) to sin (Eze 13:22).

With lies ye have made the heart of the righteous sad. . . and strengthened the hands of the wicked, that he should not return from his wicked way, by promising him life.  Ezekiel 13:22

Think about the following sins you may have justified by believing Satan's lies.  Have you allowed yourself to feel good about your sins (or others to feel good about theirs)?  Have you strengthened the hands of the wicked?

• Anger ("It's healthy expression")
• Selfishness ("Set healthy boundaries")
• Irresponsibility ("It's not your fault.  You're that way because others have hurt you.")
• Infidelity ("God is the God of second chances.  You can divorce & remarry.")

Have you ever felt sad or guilty for righteous choices:

• Taking responsiblity ("Co-dependence")
• Having a servant's heart ("You're letting others take advantage of you.")
• Being faithful to marriage vows ("God wouldn't expect me to stay in this marriage.")

When we encounter something (in movies, TV, advertisements, books, advice of family or friends, or sometimes even through our churches), we must ask ourselves these important questions:

• What is the message here?
• Is it really true?
• Am I being deceived by a way of thinking that is contrary to the Truth?

Chocolate Wacky Cupcakes

Makes 24.  Wheat/Milk/Egg free.  The vinegar and baking soda combination causes the cupcakes to rise in place of the egg.

2 cups rice flour

1 cup sugar

1/2 tsp. salt

3 Tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 Tbsp. vinegar (this is what makes it wacky!)

5 Tbsp.oil (vegetable or canola)

1 cup cold water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  If desired, line muffin pan with paper liners.  Mix all dry ingredients together in a large bowl (rice flour, sugar, salt, cocoa powder, and baking soda).  Add vanilla extract, vinegar, oil and cold water.  Combine thoroughly.  Pour batter into muffin cups (about 1/2 to 2/3 full) and bake IMMEDIATELY for 25 - 30 minutes or until done.

The exerpt below was very encouraging to me, as a wife and mother striving to have the "perfect" Charlotte Mason school.  Many frustrations have grown out of accomplishing this seemingly impossible task.  This was originally posted on the CmSeries list a few weeks ago, and is reposted here with Carol's permission.  You may visit Carol's blog at www.homeschoolblogger.com/azschoolmarm/

Shanna,

Beth makes a good point when she closes her post saying that Miss
Mason didn't have to contend with the duties of housewife and mother.
This is so true as is the fact that in her schools, 6-days was the
norm.

I am reading 'The Narnian' by Alan Jacobs (a biography of CS Lewis)
and in it he shares a quite a bit about traditional English Schools
during the early part of the last century. While Lewis did not have a
CM-education, he certainly did have a classical one (or CT). I was
struck by the length of Jack's day, which began early in the am and
lasted until late at night. Jack studied history, philosophy and
literature in the am, had a break for lunch, then spent free time
until tea (usually this meant more reading or taking a long walk).
Then he studied languages after dinner until bedtime.

If you look at CM's programmes, her students did do a lot of studying
outside of that "am" period. They read in the evenings and also took
classes on Saturdays. Their days and their lives revolved around
their studies -- they did nothing else. Keep in mind that the British
school system was created for the upper class of society. I know that
CM was very sympathetic towards education for all children and I don't
mean to say that she only taught the priveledge set, but most of what
you do see in her writings is IMO characteristic of private schooling.

In my "pseudo-Victorian" homeschool, I imagine my life as follows:

All I have to do is teach my children -- I am awoken in the 7, I get
dressed and go to breakfast (which I didn't prepare). I then scuddle
the children upstairs to do their lessons. At noon, a bell rings and
down we go for lunch (again, I didn't prepare it). After lunch, we
all go out for a long (hour to hour and half) walk through our gardens
or along the river. There is no rush, no bustle, and when we are
done, I send the children off to work on handiwork or to read on their
own (I take to my correspondence or read some poetry or my favorite
novel). The bell rings and it is now time for tea (brought to us in
the parlor). The family gathers for tea time and I read out loud to
them or I have one of the older children read and then the children
take turns narrating. After tea, we do music lessons or language
lessons. A bell rings again and dinner is ready (dad is home). We
eat a leisurely meal, discuss great books and the days doings and
leave the table (with no dishes to be done). The children sit beside
the fire and we all read or work on small projects or play games.
There is no TV. Maybe one of the children recites a poem or plays a
piece of music or they re-inact some play from the day's reading for
dad. We head off to bed and get ready to start the day again
tomorrow. This same thing happens every day for six days and on
Sundays we go to church and spend the day at rest.

This is my picture of what kind of home schooling I would like. It is
not a true representation of our home school because frankly I don't
have someone to wait on me and take care of my home. I have other
demands on my time besides home schooling too (work, church, parents)
so I have to compartmentalize my day to include a little bit of
everything. We also live in the least-walk friendly place in the US
(the desert SW) so our days are spent indoors in summer. No matter how
much I desire to have a "CM-school," I have come to the understanding
that I can only attempt to create a "Carol-school." I can only make a
school that fits the parameters of my life and that takes into
consideration the specifics of our day, our home and our family. It
incorporate methods that are classical but in reality it is simply
a "shadow" of what we think of when we say "classical" or "Charlotte
Mason." It is my own version and because it is uniquely mine, it will
never match up to anyone elses, or to Miss Mason's schools.

Just to give you some comfort, our school begins at 10 and usually
finishes by 2. Some days this gets stretched out and other days we do
finish on time. We do what needs to be done and we try and keep a
fluid, natural flow to our day. We do not do timed segments and while
we do work at our own pace, we do not dawdle or allow day-dreaming.
Yes, I remind my son often and ask repeatedly "Have you finished
Latin, yet? or How is Westward Ho! coming?" But some of this is
simply habits and some is the age (a teen) so I don't mind doing it.
I am looking towards the future and am not so much concerned about
what we do today. I know that in time my son will be able to read and
study on his own and will be able to manage his time well. The little
steps we take today will make great progress over time.

~Carol H. :o)

What lies have YOU been believing about God, about your marriage, about yourself, about your children, etc.?  What things is He asking you to change in your life?  What areas do you need to surrender to Him?  What are the Truths you need to meditate on to replace the lies?  For the past few months, I have been doing a new personal Bible study that has been incredibly life-changing.  I am going back a couple of months and journaling some of the main points and insights I have gained from this study because they have changed my life, and I hope they will help others, as well.  This book (Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free) is written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss who is a Christian radio show host, teacher & counselor.  When I first looked at this book, and many of the lies it reveals, my initial reaction was, "I don't believe those things!"  However, as the author points out, it is our actions, rather than our words, that indicate what we truly believe.  Do your actions tell a different story about your beliefs?  To be honest, I'm still not sure I agree 100% with several points in this book, but I think the points are valid enough to warrant serious consideration, prayerful reflection, and discussion with our husbands. 

"The essence of true salvation is not a matter of profession or performance; rather it is a transformation: 'If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!'--Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Introduction

Scripture references: John 10:10; 2 Corinthians 11:14; James 5:19-20; Philippians 2:13; Galatians 5:1; Matthew 11:28-30

• We have been lied to and deceived by Satan (and the world).  These lies can seem very atractive to us, and many are very believable (they seem like common sense).  (2 Corinthians 11:14)
• Lies result in bondage.  We are not free to enjoy the love and grace of God.  Some are in bondage to their past, others to the "fear of man" (worried about what others think of them, and longing for approval--does anyone relate to this as a homeschooling mother?), worry, fear, depression, anger & self-pity.  But this is not God's plan for our lives.  (John 10:10)
• Replacing lies with the truth AND acting on the Truth results in true, glorious freedom and joy--even in the midst of this fallen and corrupt world. (James 5:19-20)
• "As lies have a way of doing, that first lie (to Eve in the garden) grew and spun off more lies.  Eve believed the lie, and we, the daughters of Eve, have followed in her steps--listening to, believing and acting on one lie after another."
• As you take one difficult step after another, the grace of God will enable you to move past the lies (Philippians 2:13), old habits and old patterns of thinking, and you will begin to walk in the Light--which is the pathway to freedom and blessing (Galatians 5:1; Matthew 11:28-30).