Lessons Learned On the Farm

• May. 4, 2008 - An Email Funny

I've known some pretty good pranksters in my life... and this email reminds me of all of them!

Mr. And Mrs. Pallone are retired. Mrs. Pallone insists that Mr. Pallone go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Pallone loves to browse.

Here's a letter sent her by the store:

Dear Mrs. Pallone,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Pallone are listed below.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares!" And watched what happened.
Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M 's on layaway.
Sept 14: Moved a CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers that he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the anti-depressants.
Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his Madonna look using different size funnels.
Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,and yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ..

14. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey, There's no toilet paper in here!"

Comments

• May. 5, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

That was funny. It sounds like the kind of stuff your husband would do in Walmart, if you ask me.....

Kim

• Permanent Link

• May. 5, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Juliestew

oh nancy. tripp's asleep beside me in the bed and i'm laughing so hard the bed is shaking and i'm scared i'll wake him up. i think i'm going ot have to get up.
whew....oh my goodness
my stomach hurts from trying not to make any noise laughing. can't wait for him to read this in the am.
julie

• Permanent Link