Lessons Learned On the Farm

• Oct. 14, 2008 - Some things take time

Just a couple of weeks before my died dad about 6 years ago, he and Tony were caddies for Joe and Jake in a golf tournament in the town where my dad lived.

My dad loved golf. He thought it was a great no-contact sport (a lot easier on the body than football!) and that golf's challenge and etiquette helped to develop character.

Tony started golfing with my dad even when Tony and I were just dating. By the time, we were married, Tony and Dad were pretty regular golfing buddies. By the time Joseph came along, Dad was putting a golf ball in his little newborn hand. And then by the time Jake came along, Dad set him up with his first set of golf clubs cut down perfectly to his size.

Jon didn't have a lot of time with my dad. He had just turned one when my dad died. I guess Tony and the big boys are going to have to be the ones that teach him how to golf.

Yet somehow for years, Tony and the boys just didn't have it in them to golf without Grandaddy. That was their special thing to do with him and golf just lost some of it's appeal when Dad wasn't there to coach them all. They still wanted to play sometimes, but without Dad there to remind them when it's a perfect day for golf, they just never went.

Until yesterday. They found a quiet country golf course and played 18 holes. They lost a lot of golf balls out there and rediscovered the fun of driving a golf cart. Daddy would have been happy that they were out there smacking the ball around and that they still had plenty of stories about how he would tell them to grip the club and follow through. I think he even would have laughed about their stories of his score-keeping. It took them 6 years to feel like golfing again, but some things just take time.

Comments

• Oct. 14, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Nancy,
I know that it can be so hard to do some things when our loved ones aren't here any more to enjoy it with them. I so wish my dad were around to teach me about photography now. It took until after his death for me to really become interested in learning, and now I can't share it with him. However I know it would have made my dad very happy to know that one of his kids was learning to love something that he enjoyed so much. Tell your family Happy Golfing!!! The weather around here is just about perfect for anything outside.
grace and peace,
julie

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• Oct. 14, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by writmm

It is hard to do a fun thing when a key person is no longer there to enjoy it. I am glad your hubby and sons are rediscovering their joy in golfing.

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• Oct. 14, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Becky

I bet they feel closer to him, when they are golfing. I feel like my Dad is beside me when I fish. It is wonderful that they are back at it again.

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• Oct. 14, 2008 - Thanks for sharing

Posted by peachtreemom

Reading this really makes me think about all the things my girls won't get to do with my dad.

My dad loved to fish and my girls do too. He'd have loved teaching them, but instead I'm doing that. Maybe he's still involved through me and the memories I share with them of the great times we had sitting in a little boat on the river in the rain and, once, even in the snow.

Sweet memories!

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• Oct. 14, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by wwcherylww

Awww, Nancy, this post brought tears to my eyes. I lost both my dad and my step-dad in the last 5 years. I miss them both so much. Certain things remind me of them and sometimes I can almost hear their comments on certain matters. They remain a part of us forever. I'll bet it almost felt like your dad was there with the boys on that golf course. How sweet.

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• Oct. 14, 2008 - So How Was.....

Posted by Allison24

So How Was The Camping Trip?

~Allison24

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• Oct. 14, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by SandBetweenMyToes

What a great story. I hope they get back into playing. They will have such a good time together making new memories.

Letitia

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• Oct. 14, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Beautifully written Nancy - and it brought tears to my eyes. I've been trying hard to "turn sadness inside out" since Aunt Grace died. Her favorite flowers were pansies, and in the spring after she died, seeing pansies would just break my heart. So at the end of co-op in April I bought each Mom a pansy plant, and prettied it up with tissue paper and a tag as an end of the year gift. Now I'm doing the same with Amaryllis. She got several last winter when she was sick, and I remember watching each one grow and wondering if she'd be alive to see it bloom. So, I'm turning that memory inside out by starting some Amaryllis as gifts, or maybe just as a centerpiece for ourselves here. There are things I know I CAN'T do yet, and that's probably why I so love this golfing story . . .it's the hope that in time there are things I will be able to do, and enjoy, and they will be the richer for the memories they hold, when the joy of remembering the good times outweighs the grief of loss.
thanks!
Eleanor

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• Oct. 15, 2008 - Awwww.....

Posted by HANNAHb95

Beautifully written! I wish I had something to remember my grandfather by..... Sounds like they had fun!

Blessings!

~Hannah

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• Oct. 18, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

I Love You!

Your Husband

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• Oct. 21, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by drewsfamilytx

I am glad that they are enjoying each others company on the greens and that they are able to golf and remember dad fondly!

That is one sport that David likes to play-- not so much because of his golfing ability, but because the courses are beautiful and it gives the perfect opportunity for guys to talk and fellowship with one another. The boys have been smacking balls for some time-- but mostly in the yard or at the range. They have golf clubs cut down to size too but David gave Christian a very special extra short club the week before he passed. He had such fun hitting balls off the dirt pile, in the driveway and even whacking a very large mushroom that was growing under the tree in the backyard.

As the boys get older, we hope that their love and ability(!!!) improve. Really, are there many other opportunities that allow fathers and sons to talk for 4 hours uninterrupted?

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