• Nov. 4, 2009 - Being Content
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I have been thinking a lot about contentment lately. I have some friends who are going through some extremely hard times. They are people that I love and admire. And honestly, sometimes I thought they were “more blessed” than me. (Do you ever think that?)
On the outside, they seemed to “have it all”, great careers making good money, nice homes and cars, loving families, lots of friends, health, etc...
But now, they are going through some things that put all of that in perspective and made me realize I need to rethink some things.
I realize that many times I've looked at God blessing me by what He gives me. Now I know that often He is also blessing me with what He doesn't give me – the things He has protected me from.
Does that make any sense?
It's not that the money or success that they've experienced are solely to blame for what they're going through. That's actually far from it. But those good things are what I could see and admire. I didn't see all of the things that they were privately battling (or would someday be battling).
Shame on me for thinking that somehow God loved them more because He was blessing them with certain things. Sure we struggle, but my family is extremely blessed. We love each other like crazy, we've got a comfy home with plenty of land to enjoy, and we get to spend lots and lots of time together. I have GOT to quit taking that for granted.
All families have their struggles. Some will struggle with finances. Some struggle with family tensions. Some struggle with marital issues. Others struggle with health or loss. Those things just come from living in this sinful fallen world where accidents, confusion, selfishness, envy, and disease run rampant.
We can't control all of the things that come into our lives, but those things don't have to consume us. We must walk by faith and not by sight, all the while trusting in God and knowing that He has our best interests at heart. We have to quit looking at others and wondering why things seem so hard for us, but so easy for them. Our lives were not created for our comfort. God chooses whether we need the sweet or the bitter. We were created to glorify Him and He gets to decide how – whether it is through success or trials, health or illness, joy or sorrow. Sometimes being content means letting go of our plans and desires.
We need to quit keeping score. Being content is a choice. One day I met a woman who was going through a horrible time, the worst time of her life. Yet she really didn't have any sympathy for others. She was certain that everyone else had things so much better than she did. She didn't know that many of our friends were facing extremely trying times themselves. Because even as those women were struggling, they were trying to be content, to count their blessings, and to look at how they could bless others.
It doesn't take a perfect life to glorify God, He uses struggling imperfect people every day.
And even IN our struggles, God is there, which is truly the greatest blessing! Remember the story in Matthew 14: 22-33 about the disciples being out in the boat on stormy waters? Even when Peter began to sink because he was scared by the storm, Jesus reached out to grab him and saved them all. We have to remember that He will reach out and grab us when we are scared and sinking too.
That's where my hope is. That's what keeps me content.
“This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.”
Lamentations 3: 21-25
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• Sep. 18, 2009 - Lessons Learned From My Dad
I was thinking about my dad the other day, well actually I think about him every day, but something just kind of clicked this time.
When I was a teenager, I was in A LOT of activities: band, theater, choir, dance, etc... And even though none of those were really his idea of fun, he came to all of them.
My dad worked long hard hours so sometimes he'd lovingly grumble about other things he'd rather be doing, but nonetheless he always came.
And at the time, I took it for granted. I thought all dads did that. But as I've gotten older, I realize not all dads do. And part of me can really understand. As a mom, sometimes I get tired of going to sporting events, car shows, and the such. They're not my cup of tea. But then I remember how my dad went out of his way FOR me. Even when he didn't love the event, he went because he loved me.
My dad wasn't great at saying I love you, but his actions spoke louder than words.
I'm still learning from him even though he's been gone for over 7 years. Saying I love you comes easy for me, but I still want to make sure that my actions match my words. I hope that long after I'm gone, my kids (and their kids) realize that I loved them even more than they knew.
And I hope it all points them directly to the One who loves us all more than we can ever know.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Eph. 3: 17-19
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• Aug. 27, 2009 - Love Them Anyway
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
~Mother Teresa
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• May. 18, 2009 - Children in Public Places
I found this link to a great post over at The Common Room on Children in Public Spaces. Years ago one of my friends recommended that I read Parenting in the Pew, but it was out of print and almost impossible to find.
I noticed that Amazon has an updated version available now so I thought I'd pass the info along.
I love that her approach to having your child with you in church isn't just about getting them to sit there quietly or keeping them busy with coloring books, it's about teaching your child (and the parent) how to listen and participate in an age-appropriate way.
And really the same concepts can be applied whether you're attending a play, a wedding, lunch, or some other type of meeting. With some practice ahead of time, and some good clues on what to listen for and expect, most kids can actually participate appropriately with the adults and be a blessing to the people around them rather than a distraction.
The other day I realized that I still needed to do some more work in this area. We went to a cousin's choir performance and my youngest was really, really restless. And even though he was quiet about it, anybody there could have told that he couldn't care less about what was happening on the stage and that he was just biding his time until it was over and he could play with his cousin.
I should have prepared him better for how long it was going to be and engaged him more with what was going on. It really does go back to the Golden Rule and thinking of others more highly than ourselves. The kids on stage had worked hard and deserved a good audience and the people around us didn't need to hear repeated whispers of, "How much longer is it?". Plus, he could have learned a lot from the musical if he hadn't tuned it out.
It has been a blessing to see each of my boys grow in self-control (Jon did sit much more quietly than he would have a year ago), but it's still nice to be encouraged that we can keep working on these things. I really do think that most children appreciate being taught how to behave in public. It's so much nicer to get positive attention rather than negative attention. It just takes a little more work.
Have a great week y'all!
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• May. 11, 2009 - The Blessing of Boys
Hope you've all had a wonderful Mother's Day.
Here's a little something I wrote for The Homeschool Minute back in December 2006.
The Blessing of Boys
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. Psalms 127: 3-5
Boys. Men-in-training. I'm blessed to be the mother to three of them. And I do truly mean blessed. Through these three young men, I have been privileged to watch a bit of God's finest handiwork. I mean they just start out as these precious little babies and then they go through this really messy, loud stage. Then they get a little older and the next thing you know they are carrying all the heavy stuff, fixing things around the house, holding doors open for women, and learning what it really means to be a man.
Of course in the middle of all that, they can just about give you a heart attack. Boys aren't content to just ride bikes - no - they have to "do tricks". They like to climb as high as they can in trees. They tear things up and get things dirty. They like to fish and hunt and want you to "ooh and ahhh" over the things they bring home. And all of it is part of the learning process. Learning to be a man. And as a mom, learning to let go. Learning to let them be men.
God has created them to be strong arrows - arrows that can contend with enemies at the gate. God tells us that they are a blessing to us and as we aim them in the right direction, they will go on to bless many others. Just keep reminding yourself of that during the messy loud years and enjoy the blessing of boys.
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• Apr. 20, 2009 - A Pink Dot on His Hand and a Lump in My Throat
As some of you guessed, we spent the Saturday before Easter at the Nashville Zoo, enjoying not only their animals, but also their Eggstravagazoo.
The weather was a bit chilly, but it made for a wonderful day of watching the animals and enjoying children wagging their Easter buckets all around the zoo.
It's a very well-planned and executed event with children sorted into different age categories, plenty of eggs, and prizes for all the children.
We had already been walking around the zoo for about an hour before Jon's age group. I was starting to tire out a bit so Tony and Jake took Jon up to the egg hunt while Joe and I parked ourselves at a picnic table and prepared to watch.
What I wasn't really prepared for was the lump in my throat when I realized that Jon was the only one of my boys who was still young enough to hunt eggs. I looked at the parents with children in strollers, slings, and backpacks, and realized that season of my life has passed. And that the egg hunting season is probably fading as well.
How did this happen? Where has the time gone?
I still remember the Easter years ago when we took Joe to the big community egg hunt and Jake was in the stroller wearing the most soft baby blue outfit of all times. Then just a few years later Jake was the one hunting eggs while Joe was the helper and Jon was in the sling.
But now this one is driving and talking about college and all kinds of grown up stuff.
The other night he and Jake spent hours out in the garage working together on his Suzuki Samurai. And it was great to hear them laughing and working together. But it makes a mom a little misty. My boys are growing up and time just keeps on marching on.
So that Saturday at the zoo, I held that smallest hand with the little pink (I hunted Easter eggs) dot and wished that it wouldn't wash away.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Ecc 3:1
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• Feb. 23, 2009 - Trusting in a New Season
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Thanks for all of your fun encouraging comments on my highlights post with Mary Jane. I'm hoping that I'm going to be able to get back to blogging a bit more often. I'm kind of going through a season of change, and although I'm kind of resistant to change, the Lord has been using many things (like your comments) to affirm that I was following Him in the right direction.
I've been wearing a lot of hats at TOS for the past few years as a writer for the magazine, editor of The Homeschool Minute, and also the Director of Marketing. It was pretty much a full-time job in addition to homeschooling and although it's been a HUGE blessing in so many ways, the time has come to step away from the Director of Marketing part of it. And I don't know about you all, but stepping away from things is NOT my forte!
God had been calling me to soak in the blessings on our farm and just take time to focus on my health for awhile, but I just kept rationalizing all of the reasons why I didn't “have” to give up that part of my job in order to do those things.
I mean it's all about balance isn't it? And I just kept thinking that I was going to get things back in balance again – right after the next big project. But really I was doing more juggling than balancing, and after wrestling with God for some time about it, I felt like He finally asked me if I trusted Him enough to lay down that part of my job.
Did I trust that He would provide financially?
Did I trust that I He knew what was best for me?
Did I trust that He really could say that it was ok to work less?
Did I trust that I would still have value even though I was giving up a title?
Did I trust that He would give me another opportunity when the time was right again?
And I wrestled and I wrestled. My husband and my friends kept reminding me that I needed to take better care of myself. I knew that God wanted me to, but I really felt like I should be able to just manage my time better. I kept trying to figure out how to do it all. I kept reminding myself that I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me! But then it was like God hit me with a frying pan and I realized – maybe God isn't asking me to keep doing ALL of these things.
I had started to feel so consumed by all of my responsibilities and like I was falling apart, but it was still so hard to make a change.
Can any of you relate?
That's why I'm sharing this on my blog at all. I'm still going to be writing in THM and the magazine so you all probably wouldn't have even noticed the difference, but the whole giving up something was HUGE for me. I know that many of us get a lot of our self-worth from what we do for others and even though God had taught me years ago that His love and grace wasn't based on all that I DO, it's still sometimes hard to put that into practice.
Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
And then Deb Wuehler reminded me of another great verse. Lamentations 3: 21-25 “This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.”
So, now you know why things have been a little quiet on the blog. I've been kind of busy wrestling with God and battling exhaustion and pain. But truly He is patient and persistent and stuck with me while I wrestled. His mercies are new each morning and His compassions do NOT fail (even when we wrestle). I am SO thankful.
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• Dec. 24, 2008 - I think it's the quiet
To so many people, Christmas is all about the children, or all about the big gatherings with family and friends. I realized tonight that to me, it's about the quiet.
As my family is all tucked in for the night and I listen to the wintery winds blow, I'm reminded of the simplicity and beauty of Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus. How that birth brought joy and hope in ways that most of us can't even truly comprehend. Don't you think that sometimes we begin to take the gift of Him for granted? Most of us probably didn't long for a Messiah the way that the Jewish people did in Jesus' day.
More than likely, most of us have heard the story time and time again, but all the while life throws us twists and turns and somehow we lose the sacred hope that Jesus gave to all of us. We forget that truly He is Immanuel, God With Us!
"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"--which means, "God with us." Matthew 1:23
In Him, we find the strength to keep going when we feel like we just can't.
In Him, we find more than enough love to love the unlovely.
In Him, we find the key to forgiving people who don't even ask for forgiveness.
In Him, we find hope for when things look impossible.
In Him, we find beauty for ashes and grace undeserved.
In Him, we find the way to Heaven when we humbly realize that we can never "measure up".
In Him, we find healing and blessings that we could never even expect.
In Him, we find that quiet still voice that speaks words of life -
I love you. You are mine. Just rest.
Be still, and know that I am God.
Psalms 46:10
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Psalms 23: 1-3
So even as I sit and enjoy the quiet stillness tonight, I just wanted to share a bit of it with you all. No matter where you are or what you are going through, because of Christmas, God is with us. He longs to be your Saviour, Lord, Comforter, Counselor, Advocate, Redeemer, and so much more. He is already with us. Listen for the quiet and savor your moments with Him!
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• Dec. 20, 2008 - They are up to 18 now!
How did I miss the news? The Duggars just had their newest blessing on Thursday - a girl, Jordyn-Grace Makiya, weighing in at 7 pounds, three ounces and 18 inches long.
That brings the total to 10 boys and 8 girls. What an amazing and inspiring family. And I think it's wonderful that they are sharing their family with TV viewers on 17 Kids and Counting. In fact, according to the website, they are going to air "And Baby Makes 18" on Monday night.
And wow, they've got some awesome pictures of their house on their personal website. I hadn't seen all of it on the TV show!
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• Nov. 30, 2008 - Thanksgiving beyond measure!
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We spent part of the day at my mom's house and then part of the day at Tony's brother's house. The weather was simply gorgeous.
At one point as I was sitting on the swing outside at Mom's, I was just really struck by how much work God has done in my family. For many years, we didn't get together. For years I couldn't have told you where my brother even was and there were years where my sister and I were not speaking. There were so many things that happened. So many hurts, so many tears.
As a Christian, I knew that I was called to forgive and forgive I did, but at the same time, there had to be some healthy space in order for healing to occur. Those quiet Thanksgivings and Christmases, God was so gentle with me. I treasured the time with just Tony and the boys and sometimes my mom, free from the pressure to just "pretend" that things were ok, when they weren't.
And so I share with you now that God has simply amazed me by bringing my family back together again. I love watching the kids play, hearing everyone tell funny stories, and seeing how happy it makes my mother. I love that my children are seeing how God has worked in all of this. Years ago, I couldn't have imagined us all being together again like this, but as the verse says above, He is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine!
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I apologize for the blurry photo, but we were experimenting with the timer on the digital camera and forgot to get things focused properly. 
Ummm, does that blinking light mean it's... *CLICK*
Oh well, I guess that's as good as it's going to get TODAY anyway. But just look at Mikey's little Gwendolyn. 
