Buddhist Homeschooling

Oct. 6, 2006

How Much Longer?!

Okay, Daughter is 5. She will be 6 in June. Someone please tell me how I'm supposed to deal with her STILL eliminating in her underwear. Not just #1, but also #2. I've been keeping count recently. In the past 30 days, she's been dry only two whole days. There has NEVER been a nighttime period of dryness - I attribute that as being a medical issue with her bladder not growing fast enough, or she sleeps way too hard. But during the day, she's old enough to keep it dry. She did it during periods when she was 3 and 4, but she hits 5 and all of a sudden, I can't go anywhere or do anything without KNOWING she's going to have an accident. I have to buy pull ups in order to go in anyone else's car - and anyone shopping knows that if you look, you're lucky to pay 10 dollars for a pack of like 4 pull ups. I can't afford that, so we bring extra clothes. She's five and I have to carry around a DIAPER BAG with wipes, and a change of clothes!!! We basically can't leave the house. I can't have a playdate, because chances are she'll have peed or pooped her underwear either that day or the day before. Why reward her with a visit with a friend if she's not doing her JOB?! I can't take a 30 minute walk, even. We'll go before we leave and she still manages to soil herself within that 30 minute walk. I'm at the end of my rope. I can't do this!

What if I send her to public school? She'd be ridiculed, but wouldn't that stop her from doing it again?! It doesn't matter what we do as parents, she doesn't hear us. Yesterday, she was allowed to wear underwear again (it's not like we left the house anyhow - yes, I grounded her from her undies - I told her they were sick of being pooped in.) and she managed to poop in them, and she took the feces with her hands and put them behind the dresser. I'm not joking.

I honestly hope she gets sick from this, like hospital stay, enema-inducing, heavy on the procedures - like SICK. Perhaps then she'll LISTEN to what people are telling her.

I'd set her loose in the backyard if it were warmer. It's disgusting. I have to do so much laundry on a daily basis, I may as well have a NEWBORN! Her sheets and PJs are a load by themselves, then there's the 3 or 4 pair of undies and jeans per day. It's NOT medical, by the way, so please no comments on 'maybe it's a UTI' because it's not that. Something's wrong with her HEAD. Amazing. The kid grasps negative numbers, but can't grasp elimination on the potty for some reason. She's done this total backslide.

I know her fav. uncle left, her dad's gone all day at work, blah blah blah. Not good enough for me. I'm not patient enough for this. It's not like I didn't give her outlets to express her emotions about Uncle leaving. She's had access to art supplies during all this, but she's been grounded from everything - TV, her playroom, her toys, GameCube, Computer, her underwear and pants - everything except her art stuff and school worksheets. I also make sure she knows she can talk to me about anything that is bothering her - she just doesn't talk about it.

We can't go out with the other HSers because she's not deserving of a day out skating at the rink for their Halloween party if she's not even reliably potty trained and I'm going to have to change her! Shoot if by some miracle we DID make it to the party, she'd have to LEAVE it if she DID have an accident. Why pay admission if I'm most likely only going to be there for a good 10 minutes before she has a #2 in her undies?!

I know I sound like the worst mom in the world here. I'm not denying it, I FEEL like the worst mom in the world. I feel like a failure that I can't get my child to go POTTY like the rest of us. I feel inadequate as a supplier that I can't get her the pull ups she needs to keep her bedding dry (or leave the 4 walls of our dwelling). I'm stir crazy, and it's making me an angry mom. I CAN'T leave my house anymore! HELP!

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Comments

Oct. 6, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by kateyz

I had a similar situation with my almost 5 yo daughter. I attended a potty training workshop that was really very helpful. I've got the workshop manual as well as the notes I took. I'd be happy to send them to you as well as provide any help or support I can. Believe me, I understand how difficult this is!!
Let me know, I can send them out today if you want.
Blessings
Kathleen

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Oct. 6, 2006 - I wish I had something encouraging to say.

Posted by cryskey

I had trouble with ds (the 5 yo) when he was 3 he would go hide and poop his pants, then he got really sick with a virus and tried so hard to not have accidents he started going when it was time. With my other ds (now 17) he used to have accidents because he didn't want to quit playing, especially if he was outside! My daughter isn't old enough, so I haven't ever had to potty train a girl yet. : )

I'm sorry that you're so frustrated, I know how that feels. I've gone through quite a few spells like that, for other things, with my oldest. You let it build up and then explode and everyone thinks you're a monster. Then all the guilt builds up on top of the frustration.

Try this link, see if there's anything here that might help you out.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063900.asp#T063000

In case it doesn't come up right scroll down the page to the headline that says soiled pants.

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About Me

Buddhist/Christian Homeschooling family trying to get a handle on all the newness that comes along with being a first time homeschooler with values not reflected in the majority of my city!