I was reading a CaringBridge page for Chris Klicka, Senior Counsel and Director of State and International Relations for the legal advocacy group, Home School Legal Defense Association. He is a longtime advocate of the right to home school and has helped many families when those rights were threatened.  He and his wife Tracy have 7 children who they have homeschooled and are active in service to others.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/chrisklicka

 I am writing about them because Chris has been battling MS for 15 years and is receiving Hyperbaric Oxygen treatment at a facility in North Carolina.  He has been there for about 15 days and was so discouraged by the insurmountable obstacles that lay in front of him that he was considering stopping and going home.  Tracy put out the call for specific prayers in these multiple areas and the Lord heard those prayers and was gracious to answer them all above and beyond their expectations.

Tracy started out the praise post with this scripture,

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord."

Psalm 27:13-14

Today we had the final ultrasound.  We were expecting a routine ultrasound to gather as many pictures and video of her as possible.  What transpired was something else.  I could tell in Dr. Mirable’s demeanor that something was different.  He wasn’t smiling or laughing as much and had a serious look about him.  I admit I barely understand exactly what he said, but the bottom line is that the flow of blood through her cord is no longer flowing normally.  She is also not moving around as much as she has during previous exams plus her weight now is only 3 lbs.  His conclusion is that these are indicators that Faith will not make it to the August 14 delivery date.  Our two options are to either deliver early if we still want a live birth or just wait for the scheduled date and let the outcome happen as it will, meaning most likely she will be born asleep.

We knew this was a real possibility.  The odds are that 90-95% of unborn babies with Trisomy 18 do not make it to the due date.  In many ways she has beaten the odds up till now, but this puts a kink into “our plans”.  I don’t know why this is happening.  Over the last few days I’ve asked myself how am I going to be able to hold our daughter while she is alive and breathing and then let her go when she passes.  Just thinking about it feels like my heart has been ripped out.  So after hearing the news from the Dr. I began to wonder if this was our merciful Lord’s way of sparing me that pain and anguish.  I just don’t know.  I know that He has had this entire situation in His hands and has orchestrated each event for a reason.  As the scripture says, I need to wait for Lord to speak to us, and take courage.

So we are asking for everyone to be in prayer for us this weekend as we make this unexpected and difficult decision on whether to deliver early or on August 14.  Please pray that we would have wisdom and above all, that the Lord would awash us in His Perfect Peace that only He can give whatever the decision may be.

I do have a praise for an answer to prayer.  We have been so blessed by so many people pitching in to help care for Hope and Nate and want to give praise to Him who provided for this need.  This was becoming a challenge as I have been unable to pick Nate up and care for him properly and Hope needed to not be cooped up in the house just because Mom can’t get out much.  This has relieved the huge load that was bearing down upon Bill as he was trying to do it all and I could tell the stress was taking a toll on him.  The words “Thank You” seem so inadequate.

Please continue to lift us up in prayer that we would continue to Fix Our Eyes on The Author of our Faith, and not be consumed by the sadness that is attempting to envelope us.