Aug. 9, 2009
The New Normal
Welcome to the new normal. A friend of mine said that would be my life afterwards. Before I had 2 children with one on the way; now I have 3 children, two with me and one with Jesus. It felt strange Bill and I leaving the hospital empty handed. I didn’t know how I would handle that part, but with Bill by my side, I felt the Lord carrying me out in His loving arms. There was sadness to be sure, but more melancholy than despair. Just as we were about to walk out the door, there was another family getting ready to leave. I could see the nursery nurse and knew there was a baby. Bill saw it too and he asked if I wanted to wait until they left. I decided to wait in the lobby while Bill, my hero, took the rest of our things to the truck. I’m sure it was hard for him to see it too, but he helped spare me of the painful reminder that it was just us leaving.
It does feel so good to be home again and in my own bed. I will say though that the hospital I was at is so different from your standard hospitals and the staff is second to none. They took such good care of me and believe it or not, generally let me sleep most of the night. I was touched that the hospital put a pink butterfly magnet with a pink ribbon on my exterior door frame. This communicated to the entire staff from the Drs on rotation to housekeeping that there was a birth but the baby didn’t make it.
I will be posting another entry in the next day or two. There is so much I want to share about that Thursday morning. The prayers of all the saints that morning were answered. With Bill on one side, I felt His strong presence on the other for the first time in days. He knew the events to come and was there as our Comfort and Shelter.
Comments
Aug. 9, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Cindi from HOOville
I cannot fathom how hard that must have been to leave the hospital without baby Faith. (((hugs))) I am so grateful to know (albeit via cyberspace) a Christian family like yours who sends the comforting message of hope and healing through Jesus Christ to all the world. I praise God that Faith was placed in your family. You and your husband are faithful servants of the Lord. I look forward to dining at the Lord's table with all of you and your little baby Faith someday.
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Aug. 10, 2009 - tears in my eyes...
Posted by DonnaC
The "new normal" is a good way to put it... To a certain extent, "forever" in this life, you will find yourself stuttering when people ask you how many children you have...
For my own exprience, the first 6-12 months, I was telling total strangers that my 2yo secondborn son was in Heaven... I think I finally caught on in the second year that the unspoken word in that question "how many children do you have?" was "living" -- How many living children do you have? was the real question that most people are asking.
Faith has left a hole in your family; a hole that no one (another child or anyone else) can fill. The Lord WILL sustain you and the pain and the oozing wound will heal, but the hole will always be there. And there is nothing wrong with that. There will be a greater peace (even than the one you have been given this past weekend), and you will be able to touch lives in His name, to comfort the comfortless and to grieve with those who grieve, as you grieve yourself, not as one who has no hope.
My heart and my prayers are with you... with love abounding.
~~Donna C
http://donnac.com
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Aug. 10, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Cris from HOOville
Oh, Cheryl. I cannot even begin to imagine the range of emotions you are experiencing. I am glad you were well cared for, the staff sound very sensitive and loving. Please know that we're still thinking of your entire family. I look forward to hearing more as you're willing and able to share it. Your faith is absolutely breathtaking and I *know* that somehow, God will use this for His glory. I'm so sorry, honey. Please take care of yourself.
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