I'm not sure how to view this, but the date has been set for August 14 for Faith's delivery.  Most birthdays are celebrations, but for Faith, this is the date her lifeline will be severed, literally.  It is in 52 days, something that brings it closer to home, that we aren't talking about months anymore.  The discomfort I've been experiencing lately makes me occasionally wish it were all over with, but then under normal circumstances, that is when you are able to take your baby home.  This has been probably the biggest source of saddness for me, knowing that my discomfort is a sign that Faith is still with us and when the discomfort is gone, so Faith will be gone too.  It’s enough to make your head spin.

Today has been a tough day, but I am relying on the Lord, who is my portion and my comforter, to sustain me and carry me through the day. These are the days where only one set of footprints are visible, His.  I am thankful that I am not going through this journey alone.

The next few days will begin our program activities assigned by Little Giant Steps (LGS) to begin the road for Hope to overcome the issues that have been plaguing her.  My prayer is that this will give me something positive to focus on, though I’m not naïve in thinking that getting her to cooperate will be an easy task.  We were prepared to face some obstacles and opposition from Hope in the beginning, but I know that we will be able to overcome these and have some positive results.

I promise I will write more about Hope’s program soon.  I had planned on writing about this now, but as you can imagine, I’m having a hard time just getting this down.  The news of Faith’s delivery date threw me for a loop. In the mean time, if you should be interested, I’ve included a link to LGS’s website here to get a feel for what they are, what they do and an understanding of why we went in this direction to find help for Hope.

http://www.littlegiantsteps.com/index.php

Just realized that it’s 630pm and I haven’t even started dinner.  No matter what storm or crisis we face, there are always those routine, mundane things that keep us in the here and now.  I think tonight might be a corn dog night….. J

I was trying to think of a title for this entry and for some strange reason, Rocky and Bullwinkle came to mind.  So I tried to think of two titles that would mean the same thing and here they are.  Yes, they are groaners but I am on Benadryl (blasted allergies again), so this is what you get. J

I don't believe in superstitious things BUT, if I did given the event that happened yesterday, I think I would be convinced that I was born under a ladder on Friday the 13th next to a black cat who spilled the salt shaker after knocking a mirror off the wall and breaking it. But I'm not superstitious.....

Yesterday, before DD's evaluation at Little Giant Steps, I went out to the truck to get something and as I'm walking back up the steps...........
You guessed it, I tripped and fell down.....hard.....face forward, knee landing, hands bracing, sliding out like I was sliding into Home Plate.  So I'm lying there in 96 degree heat, spread out on the concrete. I try to get up and notice my right knee was hurting, so I tried using my right hand to push myself up. No soap, as soon as I put any weight on it, tears came to my eyes. So I try my left hand, no soap either because my hand was scraped up and bleeding. Ok, so I try pulling myself up on a brick landscaping wall....no place to get a real good grip. So I had to just yell for help. Thankfully after the 3rd try,  Bill  heard me and came out to get me.

My biggest concern was that I also hit on my stomach pretty hard, and I was afraid that I could go into early labour. It wasn't until we were back at the hotel last night that I noticed Faith moving around again. I've also felt her pushing one of her feet on one of my ribs too today and I still have had no unusual pains. This is where not knowing what labour contractions feel like is a minus, but I'm guessing that it is so unique that when it happens, you just know.

I'll be posting on a separate entry about DD's evaluation. Mostly confirmed our suspicions, but learned a couple of new things that though we saw the symptoms/signs, never made a connection that it was not normal and an indicator of a problem.  Might take me a couple of days to digest it and get something written up.

Until very recently, I never really considered that bad things caused by the enemy could happen due to what we were about to do for His Kingdom, but lately, I see his incriminating fingerprints pretty clearly. This falling accident, IMO, proved to me that we were in the right place and I sense that perhaps the Lord has some unbelievable plans for DD's life and that having this evaluation would be a key step in that direction. The enemy doesn't want this to happen, so he tries to do this to discourage me from going through with the evaluation, causing me to trip and fall and take my eye off the goal. I am convinced that I was protected from a broken wrist, a cracked knee and possibly a head concussion. Like I said, there was a time, even after I recommitted my life to Christ, that I didn't believe in things like this, but Ephesians 6 reminds us that we are not only in battle with flesh and blood, but against those we cannot see with our eyes.  To echo a previous entry’s theme, “I Shall (still) Not Be Moved....”

We’re having a nice and strong storm cell move over us right now.  The kind with a lot of lightening, rain and winds to give the storm in the movie “Caddyshack” a run for it’s money.  So I thought since I can’t go back to sleep and we’re getting up within the next hour, I would take advantage of the fact that Hope and Nate are still asleep and get this typed up.

Hope and I have had a few “yeah” moments, “lightbulb” moments in the last couple of weeks.  These must be the Lord’s way of giving me encouragement that I’m not spinning my wheels and banging my head up on a brick wall.

One of the areas I seemed to be having a problem with is when we were working in her “Go for the Code” book.  One of the activities that comes before the introduction of a new letter is to determine which picture in the line is different from the others.  I will tell you some of them have been a challenge, but most of them seemed pretty straight forward.  The other day, she picked up her book out of the basket, sat down and proceeded to do multiple pages of this activity, while I was sleeping no less, and she got it all right.  I even asked her why the picture was different and she could either show or tell me why.  It may seem like such a small thing, but it really was a huge victory for the both of us.

I’ve also been surprised at how well she is recognizing words and reading them, occasionally one that I haven’t tried to teach her.  The other day she read the word FREE on a cereal box out of the blue.  I wondered where in the world she would have learned that, then realized the few days she was able to watch TV before we went on a media fast, the station she was watching, Qubo, would have cheesy ads selling everything from tomato planters to hair accessories.  You know the type that says, “If you call in the next 10 minutes you get a second set (together everyone) FREE.  So in some ways TV can have it’s unintended positive educational moments. J

She has finally wanted me to start reading to her again, something that she was very resistant to for a long time.  Some books I think she can read right through without any help on my part, others we take turns in reading.  I know that this is due to her incredible memory and that it isn’t because of her phonics lessons.  I do plan on getting back to phonics instruction, but for the mean time while we are working on her auditory processing skills, it has been good for her to be able to learn many of these sight words and gain some confidence.

Her scripture memory verses are also coming along very well, again surprising me with how well she is learning them.  In the morning when I’m finally able to drag myself out of bed (30 weeks pregnancy will do that I guess), it is usually time to feed Nate and then of course feed myself.  I bought an inexpensive CD player with am/fm radio to put in the dining room and have been having her listen to Steve Green’s Hide ‘Em in your Heart.  Sometimes she will even get her Veggitales Bible and try to find the scripture I’ve highlighted for her.  A couple of weeks ago, out of nowhere, she began reciting the Lord’s prayer and almost did it word for word!  Another one she likes is the one that says “G-O-D is L-O-V-E” (you would think I’d know the verse number by now, but I am sleep deprived at the moment).  She even wrote it down as part of her art project at church yesterday and now the masterpiece is prominently displayed on the refrigerator.  She does have a tendency to repeat, sometimes word for word, things she has heard and I guess I would rather her repeat His Word, than some of the other things she could be quoting.  At least I know that His Word does not return void.  J

Another benefit of having the CD player in the dining room is that I’ve been able to play more classical music CDs while we are eating or just in the great room in general.  This month’s composer is Mozart which I try to play his 25 Favorites CD at least once a day.  I bought several  CD’s, mostly of music from just one composer like Bach, Mozart, Vivaldi, but I bought a few that have music from different composers.  I while back I had bought a placemat that has pictures of many different types of musical instruments that are grouped by “Brass”, “Woodwinds”, “Percussion”, and “Strings”.  At the bottom is a keyboard from a piano with the key letters on them.  When we have been listening to a piece, I have been pointing out to her which instrument is being played.  She thinks of it as a game, to try to figure out what instrument is being played and pointing it out on her placemat.  My hope is that this is helping her to be able to focus for at least a few seconds on something and actually be able to process what she’s heard.  Of course it helps that Daddy (Bill) has a good ear for music too and is able to confirm or correct me on what is being played.  He has played rhythm guitar, bass guitar, keyboards, trombone, and French horn while dabbling with clarinet and drums briefly. 

The other night, I was showing Hope a clip of a concert playing the Nutcracker suite no. 1 that was imbedded on a page of a local dance studio and thought that perhaps I could find other performances online and sure enough, YouTube had a plethora of videos (and yes, I do know what a plethora is, for all you “Three Amigos” fans out there J ), from operatic and ballet performances to performances of all the biggies, Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Vivaldi and everything in between.  I thought it would help her to see these instruments being played, especially the strings because she seemed to be having a hard time comprehending how to play them in spite of our feeble attempt to describe it. We watched later that evening clips from the Frieberg Baroque Orchestra performing J. S. Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos nos. 1 – 6.  I was fascinated that they were using authentic instruments that would have been used during the Baroque period, but the advent of instruments with all the valves and metal work.  Most people know that Bill and I are M*A*S*H junkies and in one episode Radar says with his hand up in the air, “Ah, Bach”.  So naturally anytime we would hear a Bach piece, we would feel inclined to do the same, “Ah, Bach!”. Hope has even gotten in on the act and when we are listening to one of our “greatest hits” type of CD’s, she’ll ask if it’s Bach.  When we do say yes, she jumps up and down, saying “Yeah, it’s Bach!”.  Yes, we have an unusual daughter that at the age of 5 gets excited over Bach. J

I’ve had several people email me this week inquiring about the ultrasound last Tuesday so I figured I better get this out there soon.  J  It was a bit interesting to have both Hope and Nate in the exam room.  At one point, Hope and Nate were getting a bit rowdy and were both just laughing and giggling.  Bill and I were trying to get them to tone it down, but Dr. M said to not worry that not only were they not really disturbing anyone, it was quite refreshing and entertaining.  I know for a Dr. to not be able to do something with all their training must give them a sense of frustration and powerlessness.  He really is a not just a great Dr. but also a compassionate man. We are blessed by his presence in our lives and know that the Lord directed us to his care.

Ok, now to the results, Faith is 1 lb 12 oz as of last Tuesday and Dr. M predicts that she will be around 4 lbs 12 oz, give or take a few oz. There is no change in the condition of her heart and he also this time detected some subtle abnormalities in her brain, the kind that you wouldn’t detect if you weren’t looking for it.  He still feels she will make it to term, but he did shorten the window from 24-48 hrs to just 24 hrs the time that she would be with us after birth.  Not necessarily the news we wanted to hear, and that we will need to just be prepared to have a very short time with her.

We have begun to talk to Hope more about Faith, reminding her that she is going to be a very special baby, that she is very sick and will only be with us for a very short time.  For those that have been around Hope, you can understand why we aren’t sure if she is really processing any of this.  I also am not sure how Hope is going to handle that day since there will be a sense of chaos and stress.  That is something that we need prayer on, that she would not be over stimulated and have a meltdown that day.

We are in talks with our Young Adult Minister about having a small dedication ceremony there in the hospital.  Knowing that the window has been shortened just means we will need to be able to coordinate very carefully.  Please pray that the Lord would make all of that fall into place so that we are not worried about the mechanics of the day and to just be able to enjoy our time with Faith, family and friends.

One thing about this whole experience that has been very unexpected is the number of people I have spoken to or read about that have had a loss of a baby.  The most surprising ones have come from people I have known that have lost a baby, and some of them I knew during that time, but had no clue.  I know for some people, a loss like this is a very personal thing and I can understand why they would not be willing to talk about it before, but there’s something about sharing this type of loss with someone else who’s been there or about to be there that gives a sense of sisterhood (and brotherhood, because the Dads suffer the loss too, just maybe in different ways) and security.  It’s hard to explain, but perhaps my willingness to talk about our journey as it happens may help someone who has gone through something like this and just have that feeling that no one else can understand, that someone does know what it is like, even if the circumstances are different.  

I play my broken record recording of thanking everyone again for their prayers from literally all over the world.  I have been able to do more than just go through the motions and enjoy my life, my husband Bill, my daughter Hope and my son Nate that the Lord has blessed me with.  We have had a really good last two weeks and Hope and I have even had some good learning moments.  I’ll write about that in a separate entry.   I even had a learning moment yesterday which shows we are never too old to learn. J

May the Lord shower Blessings upon each of you this coming week!!

We have our next ultrasound appointment next Tuesday, June 09, and will get to see if Faith has grown any and if there are any changes to her prognosis.  Hope will be with us this time, as we feel that she needs to be a part of this, even though it is a struggle trying to keep her still in the exam room. J

Music has always played such a big role in my life and also greatly  influences my thought life. There were times where the music I listened to was not the most uplifting or encouraging songs.  I thankfully realized what a detriment this type of music was to my mind and shifted from heavy metal and hard rock bands like Metallica, Queensryche, and Iron Maiden, to name a few, to groups like Casting Crowns, MercyMe, Third Day, Todd Agnew, and Jeremy Camp.  There are two recent songs that have helped me in this journey, Jeremy Camp’s “There Will Be A Day” and Matthew West’s “Motions”.

Camp’s lyrics remind me that there will come a day when I will not only see my Faith again, but I will see all who have gone on before me and those who will go before me in the coming years.  We will all be without want or need, without pain or grief, without tears or fears.  This is the song that keeps me moving forward when I just feel overwhelmed with sadness of Faith’s time here being so short.

West’s lyrics are not an exact match for my life circumstance, but on those days when I’ve felt like I was just existing and running on autopilot, I am reminded that He doesn’t want me to just go through the motions of the day and in doing so miss out on the blessings of the day.  This past week for the first time I felt alive again, bolstered by His strength and spent some wonderful time with my children during the day and even enjoyed a wonderful dinner with Bill on Friday night.  The song also, in an indirect way, reminds me that all things are orchestrated by God in His plan and that there is a reason we are going through this trial.  So I need to ask Him how does He want to be glorified in this situation.  Are we to be preparing to minister to others who will be going through a similar situation in the future?  Is His intention that because of the hope that we have despite the circumstances, we can share with those who do not know Him who is the author of our faith and hope?  Keeping these questions at the forefront of my mind helps prevent the tendency to slip into neutral, just idling along with no forward progress being made.

There’s also an old hymn I remember singing growing up, especially when we went to visit my Grandma Smith (Pop’s mom) in Arkansas.  I can hear the off-tuned piano and the voices singing the chorus,

“I shall not be, I shall not be moved.  I shall not be, I shall not be moved,” 

There have been a few modern songs recently that have given me comfort and encouragement, but this old time hymn has reminded me to be strong in the Lord and to not be moved by our circumstances.

When I originally started work on this entry, we were in the ER again with Bill having breathing difficulties.  It just seems like we are constantly facing a new issue and as a friend said, just couldn’t get a break. Thankfully, Bill is doing much better now that his medication has been adjusted so he is breathing much better and the greatly reduced caffeine intake has helped with the heart issues.

I would never try to compare ourselves with Job, but in a small way I could understand what he went through.  We recognize that this is probably an attack from the Enemy himself, where he is accusing us of only having faith in the Lord when times are good and life is easy.   In the same way the enemy asked God for permission to heap sorrows and woes on Job, I’ve felt like he’s been doing the same to us, with the conversation sounding a little like this:

“Surely they aren’t that faithful, especially when I cause their daughter to be disobedient and disrespectful and frustrate them further with some learning difficulties. They will turn away from you” says our accuser.

But we say “I (We) shall not be moved”.

“Bill has had repeated medical issues that don’t seem to have any resolution, surely they will begin to doubt your love for them.  I mean, if you love them, why would you allow this to happen to them?” says our accuser.

But we say “I (We) shall not be moved”

“That’s nothing, I will take it one step further, I will strike their unborn daughter with a genetic disorder so severe that she will not live long.  How can a loving God allow such a horrendous and heart wrenching affliction on a helpless baby?” says our accuser.

But we say “I (We) shall not be moved”

I’m in a Summer Book Club that’s reading Jennifer Rothschild’s book Self Talk, Soul Talk.  When we allow the enemy to crowd our mind with only the negative thoughts about what’s happening in our lives, it is very easy to fall into a state of despair.  That is why it is important to focus on what the Lord has blessed us with and to have a thankful heart.

 "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonians 5:18

We are both thankful to have each other as husband and wife.  Those who know us well will agree that in so many ways we are two peas in a pod, almost to the point of nauseating. J  We couldn’t imagine trying to go through all of this without each other.

We are both thankful for two beautiful and healthy children, Hope and Nate.  Though we mourn the loss of adding another child to our family, we will be thankful for the family we do have, that’s whole and intact.

We are both thankful that the Lord has faithfully over the years provided for ALL our needs and even blessed us graciously with a few wants, the desires of our hearts.  He has also allowed us to be a blessing to others in times of need by trusting us to be His middle man with His resources.

We are most thankful though that we have an eternal hope that will never be stolen away from us.  No matter what our accuser tries to do to discourage and dismay us, we know that in the end, the Battle has already been won, and the victor is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and that one day, we will all be with him, with no more tears, no more fears and no more pain.  Bill and I will see Faith again and she will be perfect. 

I truly do not know how anyone can endure the loss of a child or a spouse without the eternal hope that we have in Jesus Christ.  I know that my own pitiful strength would be totally inadequate to deal with all the blows that this life has to offer. 

Sorry, no catchy title this time. 

I sometimes feel like a broken record when I say this, but we are truly thankful for the prayers being lifted up for our family and Faith.  Like in the Footprints poem, I know that when I only see one set of footprints, that’s when I’m being carried by our wonderful Savior and surrounded by the prayers of the saints.

I’ve had a few people ask how to specifically pray for our family. I would say the following areas are where we need prayers the most:

1.       Decisions to be made- There are so many details that need to be decided upon regarding a Birth Plan, what procedures should be performed (CPR, oxygen, feeding, etc.),  whether or not to permit a baby shower (especially what focus will it have), funeral arrangements(what funeral home, location of burial, what type of service).  I could go on and on but as you see, there are so many things to make decisions on that it does overwhelm us.

2.       Sharing this news with Hope in a way she can understand.  We have been talking about Faith being a special baby and that she is very sick.  We need wisdom in not only what to say, but how much to share with her, and how can we help her be a part of this process.

3.       Being able to try to have as normal of a life right now.  There are days where quite frankly I feel like I’m just existing, doing what needs to be done, and barely making it out of my bed.  I do not need to let myself fall into an abyss that will be difficult to escape. Also as Hope’s primary educator, I need to be consistent with her, reap the rewards of her “I get it” moments and just sharing that time with her that will be gone before I know it.  Finally as Nate’s primary caretaker, I need to stop and just enjoy him and not let the mundane tasks take away from the unexpected blessing that he has been to us.

4.       Peace with His Plan. We do not know for certain if Faith will stay with us to birth or if she will be around for more than a few hours if she does make it to birth.  Bill and I are such planners that this is really taking us out of our comfort zone because this isn’t our plan, it’s His Plan, and He is asking us to trust Him that He already has everything in line for us and that we don’t need to add anything.

There have been some who have said they are praying for complete healing of Faith, that all traces of Trisomy 18 will be eradicated.  We are appreciative of those prayers and know that the Lord could perform such a miraculous healing without even speaking a word.  Nevertheless, Bill and I feel that this is most likely not how He is going to be glorified in this situation.  I guess we are just very pragmatic and while we would love to be surprised with a miraculous healing, we are not putting our hopes up for it.  We instead are preparing for saying “We love you and will see you soon” when the time comes.  We have the strangest peace about this that words cannot describe.  I have some more thoughts on this, but will post them on another day.

5/8/09

One thing I’ve been asked is how do we answer people when they ask about Faith.  That depends on who is asking the question.  Is it a server at a restaurant?  Is it the cashier at the grocery store?  We just tell them it is a girl and her name is Faith.  Is it someone we casually know?  We give them the elevator answer  that she is a Trisomy 18 baby and that if she does make it to term, her time will be short with us and we just direct them either to my blog or just look up Trisomy 18 on any search engine if they want to know more.  The other day while at Babies R Us I decided to go ahead and have Faith’s registry removed.  The associate asked me which one and it seems that Nate’s was still showing on their registry, so I had them both removed.  In order to do this, a manager had to be logged on and I could tell he was wondering why I wanted the registries removed.  Nate’s was obvious, but for Faith I explain the situation and that I wouldn’t be needing the things I had registered for, the double stroller, the extra high chair and the video monitor.  As you see, sometimes I do go ahead and let a stranger know what is going on, and that perhaps they would be blessed by it in some way.

We were in the Astros’ team store at Minute Maid park and while looking at all the baby girl clothes, it was hard knowing that Faith would not be around long enough to go to her first ball game.  For a couple of days I couldn’t remember feeling her move until last night at the game.  For the first time in a long time I was relaxed and enjoying the game.  When I’m really into it, I tend to lean over, resting my elbows on my knees, and I guess I was crowding her because she started pushing, as if to say “hey up there, a little room please!”.  It put a smile on my face and was reassuring to feel her move knowing that she is still fighting.  In fact as I’m typing this I’m on the plane back to OKC and I guess she’s sensing the pressure as we are slowing descending for landing because I can feel her moving around.

We did get a couple of unexpected surprises during our stay in Houston.  The first was on the day we arrived, the hotel staff informed us they had an “amenity” to bring to our room.  Bill and I looked at each other wondering if the other had planned some kind of “surprise” for the other.  We were pleasantly surprised by the hotel manager with a small plate of dark-chocolate covered strawberries, with a small amount of other chocolate treats inside an all-chocolate mini bowl(about 1-1/2” squ.) of solid dark chocolate with the words “Happy Anniversary” written on the plate in dark chocolate.  Bill had apparently written in the comment section of our hotel reservation that we were celebrating our wedding anniversary.  We took before and after pictures.  I found myself craving chocolate the next day so badly that I busted into the minibar and ate their dark chocolate bar.  Of course I split it with Bill and it was probably the best $5 we spent on the trip.  J

The next surprise was on Thursday when during the mid-afternoon we were hearing sirens that were more than just a passing vehicle.  Bill looked outside and from our window we could see that driving in front of the hotel was a long line of sports cars.  The beginning of the line had several silver cars, then several yellow, then several red and finally several black.   They were all the same model and it took us a bit to figure it out, but that day was the official launch day for the new 2010 Camaro and they were doing a parade around downtown ending at Minute Maid park where they had the cars parked for viewing throughout the game.  There were also a few of the classic 1^st and 2^nd  generation Camaros in mint condition on display.  We did get pictures of us with the cars.  I have had both a 2^nd and 3^rd generation Camaro and if we ever were in a position where I could, I would love to get a black 2SS Camaro.  Those who have rode with me will probably not be surprised by that.  J   Learning to drive in Houston and perfecting those skills in Dallas has made me a speed demon.  Thank goodness for cruise control when you “know” you’re too tempted to go over.

It was really nice to get away this week, even if it was only for a couple of days.  We both know that the coming storm will rock our family and it is so important for Bill and I to have this period of respite to withstand this trial and be strong for our children.  We have begun the process of telling Hope that Faith is going to be a very special baby, that she will probably be with us for only a little while then she will get to spend the rest of the time with Jesus.  It is so hard to know what Hope “gets”, but we will continue these conversations with her over the next few weeks.

A sweet friend was asking me what I wanted to do by way of a shower, and to tell the truth I’m not sure how to go about this.  She said she has read where people have given a “keepsake shower”, a “pamper Mom shower” and other types of non-traditional baby showers.  I’ll admit the idea of a “pamper Mom” shower does sound appealing, but I’m praying over this to see if I can use the opportunity to help others.

5/12/09

This was a very difficult weekend for me.  Saturday we celebrated Nate’s first of 3 “1^st” Birthday parties, this one with Bill’s family.  The whole day I admit I was just struggling to get excited for this special occasion, because it was another reminder of what Faith will not have.  On Faith’s “1^st” Birthday, I’ll be decorating her gravesite, instead of a birthday cake.  Watching Nate play with his new toys just drove the whole reality home and I literally had to leave the room.  I didn’t want to spoil this special occasion for him and get Hope upset also.

Mother’s Day was not much better.  I’m so blessed by such a sweet husband who did his best to make it special for me.  He bought roses while out running errands on Saturday and had cards from him as well as from Hope and Nate.  Plus I got a couple of tops and a nice black dress that I can actually wear right now (love the stretchy knit fabric J ).  His sweet sister gave me a very thoughtful gift as well, a silver charm bracelet with all three kids’ initials on it.  We ended up missing the church service but did make it to our Sunday school class.  The lesson was about Jesus when he walked on water out to the boat and instantly calmed a raging storm.  It’s probably one of the few times I didn’t respond to a question or give my opinion or analysis because I knew if I started talking, I would lose it again and I just didn’t feel like being in that kind of a spotlight again.  How many times have I casually commented that in our storms we are supposed to stay focused on Christ and not be like Peter and take our eyes off of Him.  To say this hit too close to home would be an understatement.  I “know” in my brain that Faith will be spending an eternity with Jesus, whole and strong, but it is still hard to understand why she can’t stay here.

Today we had our latest ultrasound appointment with Dr. M and after the tech’s exam and his further exam, all of us (Bill, Nate, Dr. M and myself) went into a conference room and sat down to discuss what happens next.  Today she is only 1 lb 1oz and is projected to weight less than 5 lbs at birth.  Right now, without the low fetal weight and heart defects, Faith appears normal in most of the major areas that are normally a huge issue with Trisomy 18 babies, but this doesn’t mean that this won’t change.  Sometimes as the baby grows larger, abnormalities become more pronounced.  At this time, without the benefit of a crystal ball, he projects that Faith will probably live for about 24-48 hrs, which is usually common.  That’s not to say that she might not live a little longer, but given that heart surgery isn’t really an option, this is the usual outcome.  Again, he thinks that Faith could easily make it to term given that there aren’t any apparent other major issues that would lead to her being stillborn, but there are no guarantees.  From this point how many ultrasounds we have are up to us, and I think we will opt for every 3-4 wks until the last month or so.  We want to get as many pictures of her as possible and video of the exams.  He even offered to work with us on the financial part should our insurance company decide not to pay for subsequent ultrasounds, since from a medical standpoint, there is no “medicinal benefit to be derived from the exams”. 

We are blessed to have Dr. M as the specialist and he shared with us a story that blessed us about another family that had a young child already and how they celebrated the birth of their son/brother who was Trisomy 18.  The big brother had made a treasure chest of special little toys and though the baby was extremely disfigured, when the Dr came into the room, he saw him holding his little brother in his lap and explaining about all the toys in his chest and that he would win the race in the family on who got to go to heaven first. 

I’ve heard that grief runs in stages, shock, anger and readjustment.  I guess I’m over the shock part and am still dealing with the anger part.  I just didn’t want to talk to anyone this weekend and I know I was very short with some dear friends who tried to reach out not knowing really what to do or say.  I am so blessed to know that so many people care about us and are praying for us.  A friend who lives in SE Asia as an educational consultant sends out a regular email about her work and any prayer requests she may have for upcoming needs or travel included our story in her latest one to over 200 people.  The other day she shared with me some of the responses she received, mostly from total strangers to us, and I was so awed at their responses.  This friend’s Mom said that during their church’s Wednesday night prayer service, they had a special prayer time for us….people they have never met and most likely may never met.  That just blows my mind and is very humbling.  I know there are people reading this that do not know us personally and may never met us this side of heaven, but to those who are lifting up our family during this storm, I want to thank you so much.  All I wanted to do this past weekend was just hide in the corner of my closet and not come out, but I know that the only way I was able to keep going was through the prayers for us.

I was listening to K-Love, the Christian radio station, today and they were reading the story about a Mom who just three weeks ago lost 2 of her children, both boys, in an accident.  My heart just went out to her because though we know we will be saying goodbye to Faith soon, I just think it must be so much harder when it’s something unexpected and you’ve had the chance to see your child grow up, his personality develop and all those hopes and dreams we have for our children being destroyed by a crushing blow.  What I could relate to her with is that she still has two children with a third on the way and though your heart aches for the one/ones lost, you still have those precious treasures with you and need to give them the love and attention they need.

So my challenge to those who are reading this is to give your children an extra hug and kiss today, maybe read just one more story at bedtime, or if you are far away from home give them a call or send them a card telling them how special they are to you.  We are given these treasures for a time and there are no guarantees that they will be here tomorrow. 

May the Lord’s Blessings be showered upon all who read this.

I know the title is a bit cheesy, but it’s adapted from the movie State Fair (imagine that) and just seemed to fit.

Bill and I had a great day at the Convention in beautiful downtown Oklahoma City(sounds like a chamber of commerce piece).  It seems strange but apparently Friday is usually more crowded than Saturday (it is a two day convention).  You would think it would be the opposite, but it was definitely more crowded this year, but that could be that we went on a Friday this year and last year went on a Saturday.  We both were really impressed to see so many husbands there with their wives helping to sift and sort through the curriculum jungle and going to the seminars.  My first convention was in Plano, TX back in 2005 and there weren’t many husbands/dads there but usually it was because they were at home watching the kids for the wives/moms.  Now they just take the kids along or make other arrangements for them at home.

There were times yesterday, while in the planning mode for the next year, I was reminded of how uncertain the year is going to be.  I may not be able to plan out with certainty, but I do need to have something in place and just need to be flexible and trust the Lord with the rest. 

I was exhausted yesterday, but at least this year I was only 24 weeks (I think I’m 24, will have to check--I'm constantly losing track of the weeks--big surprise   ). Last year, I was around 37-38 weeks and believe me, I was miserable and sure wished I had one of those cool scooters the ladies spin around in at the Grand Canyon on TV. I'd have been tearing up and down the aisles then.

Anyway, ran into a couple of friends, one of them we joke that the convention is our "annual meeting". I'm sure I'll be seeing her a bit more regularly in the coming year because I will be getting more involved in the local HS support group. Plus she works part time with a Christian dance studio (still pondering whether to get Hope involved with that or not).

On the Math front, I have decided for many reasons to hold off on formal math until most likely next April (when our school year starts).  I was able to eliminate a few curriculums yesterday and may actually be leaning towards Right Start Math.  http://www.alabacus.com/    I was able to take a look at the teacher manual and the student workbook. The # of problems I thought would be just right for her and the print is in black and white, which will not overwhelm DD with too much visual stimuli. I also didn't want something with a lot of desk time. She will be doing enough of that with her reading and writing, so I'll want to keep the math desk time to a minimum. DH and I looked at the manipulatives they use to see if they were Hope-proof (she can be very destructive with her toys) and over all they are, and if need be, I can replace broken items individually. I was leaning towards "maybe not" before the convention, but now I'm more in the camp of "maybe yes". We'll see how she develops in the coming months before making the final decision of when to start. Until then, we will still work with her on writing her numbers and math concepts (such as more,less; tall,short; long,short; bigger,smaller).

Well, fellow homeschoolers always want to know what you purchased at the conventions, so to satisfy their curiosity, I’ll list my goodies here.

Greathall Productions by Jim Weiss:    http://www.greathall.com/

During the seminar by Jan Beddell of Little Giants Steps, she said one way to help your child while working with them on improving their auditory processing is having them listen to stories and books on CD.

Jewish Holiday Stories (Chanukah, The Festival of Lights; Purim; Passover)

Tales from the Old Testament (Abraham, Noah, Ruth, David and Goliath, David’s Dance, King Solomon, Queen Ester)

Animal Tales (Brothers Grimm, Aesop’s Fables, and others)

Tell Me a Story (Grimm, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, and others)

Uncle Wiggly's Storybook

Rainbow Resources:  http://www.rainbowresource.com/index.php

-2 Kumon books, one Tracing and the other Cutting.  We're still needing to work on her fine motor skills.

-Explode the Code book 1 and the teacher's book for books 1 & 2.  Need all the hand holding I can get.

-Judy Clock (to replace the one that's lost and who knows where it is)

-Tshirt for Dad (Bill)  "Dad: A Son's First Hero, A Daughter's First Love"  I know, get's ya right there. 

Drills and Skills:  http://www.drills-skills.com/

Washable ink stamp pad

Watercolors

Master Books:  (publisher of science books from a Biblical worldview)  http://www.nlpg.com/store/MB.htm

The Complete Zoo Adventure guide – this has things to do before your zoo trip and afterwards and some cool reference cards on species and their habitats.  There are even devotionals you can do with your kids for a few days before your trip revolving around God’s creation.

I wanted to get the one for Aquariums, but alas, it is not due out for several more weeks so I will just have to order it online when it becomes available.

I'm forgetting the title, but a book that I think came out before the Marvels of Creation trilogy (Birds, Mammals, Fish) with a similar layout; the focus is on birds from all over the world; had it for $2  J

PE for Children Schooled at Home curriculum by Diane Taylor:   http://www.peisfun.com/

You can get just the curriculum book alone or the kit with all the accessories, like a smaller-sized basketball, dodgeball, beanbags, those cool jump ropes, and other things we used to play with in school. I opted to go ahead and get the kit so that I have everything already that I need.  Many of these activities I will be able to do next winter when we are in Dallas. Portability is a huge factor for us.

 This is a lady here in OK that used to teach in public schools and around 20 yrs ago she was convicted to quit work and soon began a ministry of helping homeschool groups develop PE programs.  Around 10 yrs ago she developed a curriculum that could be used by individual families or homeschool groups.  There are four sets of lesson plans, one for 1-3rd grades with 1-6 kids and another for 10-25 kids and then 4th-6th grades also with one for 1-6 kids and then 10-25 kids.  Given our schedule throughout the year, it may be too tricky trying to sign up someplace for a regular PE class, so I thought this would be the better alternative.

I know it does seem amusing to do this for a daughter who is in perpetual motion when not sleeping, but this will help her to further develop her gross and fine motor skills.  And who can resist getting a really cool rainbow colored dodgeball.  J

Little Giant Steps:   http://www.littlegiantsteps.com/index.php

-Detailed Reading Comprehension

Hope’s been struggling with the whole phonics concept, though because of her good memory, she is recognizing words and reading them.  But when I sit down with her to review some words and try to introduce new ones, it’s like a whole new concept for her.  I have recently found out that this could be due to her issues with auditory processing skills.  I'll get into more detail in another post, but while you are working with your child to improve their auditory processing skills, it is ok in the interim to teach them some words based on the whole word approach.  I know, "How can you teach reading without phonics!?!"  Once her auditory processing skills are brought up to speed, then you can begin with phonics instruction again.  Otherwise, you might as well beat your forehead up against a brick wall.

Voice of the Martyrs:    http://www.persecution.com/

We bought a tshirt for each of us.  It’s black with red and white lettering. The front says: This Shirt is Illegal in 52 countries.  Restricted Nations: 38 Hostile Areas: 14.  The back has Romans 1:16 in the form of a cross.  If we are not vigilant, we could find our country added to these numbers.

Except for the PE equipment, it didn't seem like a lot of stuff, as compared to other years, since the PE stuff and the audio cd's ate up 1/2 of my budget.  That’s ok, it will be well worth it.

The last two days have been rough.  I had myself "steeled" to handle giving the news to family on Friday and to our class on Sunday, but I find I get overwhelmed when not expecting it.  Sunday morning when our class was sharing prayer requests and praises, our class leader shared that his oldest accepted Jesus into his heart on Easter Sunday.  I was so happy for them and then it hit me that I will never share that experience with Faith, so by the time Bill had explained what was going on, I had broken down.  Our class is full of such wonderful people.  They immediately surrounded us and several people prayed for us.  It was quite humbling to hear their prayers and find that we really were special to them and that we have had a positive impact. We thought we moved here to serve others, but I'm beginning to realize it was so that we could be served during this trial.  We have a few close friends back in the DFW area, but the support system we have here is so much stronger and widespread.  God knew what He was doing getting us up here.

Yesterday I did get together with my friends, one w/5 boys (plus another one due in Oct ), so it was nice to be with friends.  The rest of the day and today has been hard.  I think the weight of everything has just drained me and I can tell I'm being lifted up because I've just wanted to crumble into a pile in the corner.  In fact I almost lost it, in of all places, the waffle section of the grocery store.  Our grocery store has a few carts that have "cars" in the front, complete with seat belts and steering wheels.  There was a lady in the freezer section that had 2 kids in the car section with an infant seat on the back of the cart.  I realized that where before I was dreading trying to take 3 kids shopping, I would do anything to be able to look forward to that type of "problem".  These are the hardest times, when you just don't see it coming.

Our next ultrasound is May 12 where we hope to get more pictures and also a better grasp of the complications present.  I can occasionally feel Faith moving, but it is definitely different.  Hope and Nate were punching, kicking, elbowing, fist rolling from the get go and it was pretty strong.  Faith’s movements have been much weaker.

I do want to share a God moment that does give us some hope that we perhaps will have a short time with her.  While researching, I read family stories of how they took family pictures with their other children present, had foot and hand casts made, saving a small lock of hair, anything to record and treasure the moment.  We have a friend who truly has a God-gifted talent for photography, and Bill and I wondered if he would be willing to help us preserve those moments.  We weren't sure if our friend would be comfortable doing it since he and his wife are expecting a 3rd miracle baby (they were told they couldn't have anymore) and maybe this might hit too close to home.  Well, Sunday late at night we received an email from this friend offering his services if Faith makes it to term.  Bill and I's jaw dropped and said that only God could have put that on his heart when we had said nothing to him.

So we are seeing His hand in all of this, but it still doesn't make it easy.  We are still waiting to find out why Bill has been having some heart issues (ongoing for the past couple of months) and that has just added to our stress level.  We would request prayers specifically that our stress would not be picked up by Hope.  She will be told in the coming weeks about Faith having a special plan, but would rather wait a little while longer.

To end on a positive note, Bill and I are looking forward to going to our state homeschool convention this Friday.  This will be his 3^rd and it is so nice to have someone who is somewhat detached to give me some perspective when my head just starts swimming with the choices.  I’m also looking forward to hearing a couple of seminars.  I will make a separate entry about the day’s events.  With everything going on, it will be a nice diversion for both of us.

I will praise You in this Storm, even though I don’t want to.

Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  Right now I’m not feeling very thankful.  At the ultrasound appointment when we found out we were having a girl, there was a heart defect detected.  The Dr. said it could be hypoplastic left heart syndrome, a serious but treatable condition that many children have overcome.  The Dr. also said that the heart defect could just be an indicator of a larger genetic issue, such as Trisomy 21 known as Down’s Syndrome, or worst-case scenario Trisomy 18 known as Edward’s syndrome.

Last Tuesday, we had a follow-up ultrasound and opted to have an amniocentesis performed.  Thursday, we received a call from the genetic counselor that the preliminary results were in and with 95% accuracy, our baby, Faith, has Trisomy 18.  95% of babies with this condition do not make it to the due date.  Of those who are born alive, their time here is very short, sometimes a few minutes or hours, maybe days and weeks, occasionally months or rarely beyond one year.

Facts about Trisomy 18 or Edward’s Syndrome:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edwards_syndrome

We are still trying to process this news and trying to prepare for the onslaught of decisions that need to be made.  The one decision that was the easiest to make is to carry Faith to term.  God will take her in His time and we will not have a hand in prematurely ending her life. In some ways I feel blessed that the Lord would trust me with this child, knowing that I would protect her until her ordained time to enter into the King’s presence.  In other ways, I feel angry that He would give us this child only to take her away, possibly before she even has a chance to live.

This is a link for family and friends to learn more about Trisomy 18:

http://www.trisomy18.org/site/PageServer?pagename=support_friendfamily

Your prayers during the next few months will be gratefully appreciated.

This week was also an abbreviated week in some respects since I’ve still been fighting sinus issues, but Hope and I have been at least able to do some light phonics and math work this week.  The main focus though has been on Bible time, especially with this being Holy Week.  As part of our memory verse work, I’ve focused on 1 John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is.  Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.”  We’ve usually listened to the CD version for our memory verses, but Steve Green’s video version of this particular verse has him and several children signing this song twice.   The first time is him with a boy and a girl on each side signing, and then the other children join in the second time.  I never knew until this video that to sign Jesus Christ, you tap your finger in the center of the other palm, where the nails were driven in.  What a reminder each time of the sacrifice He made for us.

We have been watching 4 stories on her DVD Bible this week, from Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem to His resurrection.  One of the stories is about the crucifixion and I like how they presented it in such a way that it doesn’t sugar coat what happened that day, but is also not gory.  The final pictures do show Jesus nailed to the cross, but his body isn’t mangled or disfigured which I believe would be too much for a young child to digest. 

While listening to this particular story the other night, one thing struck me that in all the years of reading this scene never really occurred to me.  Paul says that Jesus died for us while we were still sinners.  He also died for those who would forsake him, never accepting His free gift of eternal life.  I’ve never given a second thought that there were 2 criminals crucified on either side of Him, until this week.  One mocks Him, saying that if He really were the King of the Jews, He would save Himself.  The other criminal rebukes the first one, saying that while they both deserved to die for what they had done, this man, Jesus, is innocent and does not deserve this horrible punishment.  This was a perfect illustration on how everything that has, and will happen, is perfectly orchestrated by our Creator.  Jesus died not just for those who have accepted His gift of eternal life, but for ALL.  I admittedly struggle with this when I see and hear about the inhumane acts committed by some with no remorse or repentance.  These individuals essentially spit in His face, yet He still suffered and died for them too.  That’s a hard concept for me to wrap my puny human brain around.

One criminal is doomed to spend eternity separated from our Father in Heaven with his refusal to accept the gift.  The other criminal I will see when my time comes, one of the first, if not the first one to enter heaven not by his works, but by the blood of Jesus’ perfecting work.

The search for the “Perfect” Math Curriculum

That title should give veteran homeschoolers a giggle, since there is no such thing.  In some ways it's like the search for the Holy Grail.  Of course then I can hear the clip-clop of the coconut's in the Monty Python version when I feel that I'm looking for the impossible. I took a few days off in my research and will be going back to it next week.  I was told about a resource that I don’t know why I’ve not come across it before, or I was just being clueless. 

http://www.homeschoolreviews.com/default.aspx

It has reviews by those who have been in the trenches and can tell you why a program worked for them or why it was a flop.  I like that the reviewers also state how their child(ren) learns and why the program worked or didn’t.  I have bookmarked this site for this and future research projects.  The convention is just around the corner, so hopefully I will have a game plan set up as to which curriculums I want to take a good hard look at.  I’m the type that really has to touch it, feel it, and thoroughly examine it before making my decision.  Yes, this is coming from a woman that can buy shoes online without any problem.  Go figure. J

One of the first questions I get when someone finds out we homeschool is, “Are you able to find curriculum?”  My response is usually to start laughing, but not because I’m intentionally being rude.  There are so many choices out there to pick from that your head just starts spinning with information overload.  I’m facing this right now as our state convention is in a few weeks, and I still do not have a clue which Math curriculum to go with for Hope.  I had bought a set that I thought would be perfect for Hope and I, but it was a disaster.  I knew this would happen at some point, but not so soon.  Thankfully Bill will be going to the convention with me and can help me to sort through it all.  Sometimes having someone there that isn’t so close to the situation can help you to be more objective.  Stay tuned!

We have been able to get through most of the material for this week so far in spite of my being sick since Sunday night with sinus problems, coughing and an almost non-stop low grade fever.  I can tell my patience is definitely tested when I’m sick, but Hope has done very well.  Thank goodness we can do our work here in bed.  We’ve been watching “Prayer in the Garden” from her Read n See DVD Bible this week, and listening to Steve Green’s “Our Father in Heaven”, where Jesus tells us how to pray.  Hope has memorized her verse from last week, Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Yes, I know, a bit self serving J ). This week’s verse is the greatest command, from Matthew 22:37-39, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind, this is the first and greatest command.  And the second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  When listening to Steve Green’s CD, we look up the verses in Hope’s Veggietale NIV Bible and I highlight the verse for her. 

We finished up “H” in her Get Set for the Code book yesterday and started on “D” today.  I’m also having her review some of her earlier letters for practice and today was “F”.  Then we went over some flashcards I had made of some sight words, like colors and numbers 1-5 in words.  We are working on “an” words this week and reviewed her “at” words from last week.  Last night, she read the e-book on her Starfall.com, “Zac the Rat” almost all by herself.  She is actually starting to recognize some sight  words, including “and” and “the”.  Maybe I need to look up on YouTube and show her the Schoolhouse Rock video, “Conjunction Junction”.  Great, now I have that song in my head again, “Conjunction junction, what’s your function? ‘Hooking up words and phrases and clauses.’ ”.  And they said that cartoons then weren’t educational.  J

We are taking a light approach on Math for right now, with just reviewing how to write her numbers 1-10, and focusing this week on the concept of Taller/Longer and Shorter and she seems to be able to grasp it quickly.  I tried going over More and Less, and no matter how many different ways I went about it, she just didn’t get it.  Maybe in a couple of weeks we’ll get back to it.  Bill could testify that my forehead was a little red from beating it up against the wall.  Some concepts just take longer to grasp than others, and in the end, no one is going to care in what order she learns them. 

Oh, and we did find out on Tuesday that we are going to have a girl! 

Also a Happy Birthday to Nana!  She’s celebrating the anniversary of her 40^th Birthday!

Yeah!  We just finished our first day back to schoolwork.  To celebrate, I let her have a gift sent to her by her aunt K, the Princess Gigi dress up kit.  Of course what does Mom do when trying to put on her crown, breaks it.  ARG!  We did get a picture of the Princess to capture the moment.  I also decided to make today somewhat light so Hope wouldn’t feel overwhelmed.

It’s hard to believe that Easter is just around the corner.  So during our Bible time, we will be focusing on four stories in her Read and See DVD Bible, “The Triumphal Entry”, “Prayer in the Garden”, “The Crucifixion”, “The Resurrection”.  We’ll focus on one story a week, playing it every day, in the spirit of Five in a Row.

First thing we did was come back to the master bedroom and sit on the sofa to listen to “Hosanna!” on Steve Green’s “Hide ‘em in your Heart” vol 1 cd.  We then watched “The Triumphal Entry” with her RnS DVD Bible.  I reminded her that we saw a donkey yesterday in a pasture filled with horses, and that this was what Jesus rode on to enter Jerusalem.  Then I wrote down the word “Hosanna” on a piece of paper and we will focus on that word this week. 

It is good timing then that in her Get Set for the Code book, we are on the letter “H” this week.  We did just a few pages today.  I’ve been concerned that we may have been going through this series too fast and not allowing her to mull on it and digest it fully, so I think we’ll slow down a bit on that.

I let her have a small break after Bible time, then we went to the kitchen to work on her GSC book.  Then for Math, I had her write her numbers 1-5 for review.  She did very well, only needing a little help and practice on the three.  I was very proud of her.  To finish our Math portion, I pulled out her Lauri pegs and mats to work on the concept of “More”.  I would put a few yellow pegs in a cluster, then a larger number of orange pegs, and explained that there were more orange pegs than yellow pegs.  I did a few other examples in different colors, but didn’t expect mastery today.  We will work on this again tomorrow.  Later this week we will work on the concept of “Less”.  Nate then decided he was done with his nap, so it was time for a break.

After our lunch, I put Nate down for his afternoon nap, then Hope and I came back to the master bedroom and went to Starfall.com to finish up our phonics work for the day.  She did the letters “H” and “S” then we read the story of “Zac the Rat” in the Learn to Read section.  She did very well, even reading a couple of sentences by herself!!  Lastly we went into the school room and worked together on the whiteboard with our “at” words.  I can tell she still doesn’t seem to recognize patterns yet, but she still did pretty well.  Tomorrow we’ll review these and also go over “et” words.  At the end of the week, I’ll have cards made with these words on them and let her do a “matching game”.  They have a few of these on the starfall website, but this time she will be able to feel it with her hands, not just click a mouse.

It did feel great to get back to a routine and have some semblance of order (I hear you veteran hs’ers laughing out there  J ), and that the six week break doesn’t seem to have set her back much.

We are getting anxious to get started up again with our schoolwork.  Bill is almost done with busy season and we'll be able to have a semi-normal life again.

This really isn't related to homeschooling, but since we've been taking a break I thought I would post this to provide a good laugh.  Never thought I would be in a position where I could actually relate to this.  It was sent to me by a friend who has 5 boys!  The pink clothes would be the only thing that wouldn't apply because the only pink in that house is Mom's clothes.

The Birth Order of Children – Author Unknown

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress –a whimper, a frown– you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your first born.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

I finally found the study regarding how students fare in states with low, moderate and high regulations.

Here is the link to the report:  http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/ray1997/12.asp

There was a recent effort to introduce two bills that would have placed many new burdens on homeschoolers in Oklahoma.  Thankfully there was so much opposition that they will not make it out of Committee.  So even though we are in the most homeschool-friendly state, we must always be vigilent on these attempts to place unnecessary burdens on the parents. 

Some say these efforts are to keep homeschooled children from falling through the cracks, but with all the oversight and regulation that occurs in classroom settings, either public or private, students still fall through the cracks and many times there is a lack of resources to address this.  I have friends that are school teachers and I know they have a passion to see children learn, but in a system that has a one-size-fits-all approach, they just aren't able to reach all of their students.  The one-on-one approach they will tell you is the best method for teaching, especially if you have a child that may struggle in some areas and yet may also be advanced in others.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox.   Hope everyone is having a blessed day!

I found this website from an Old Schoolhouse weekly email.

Hope loves it and not only is she recognizing the letters visually, but when she hears a word, she can tell me what letter it starts with.

http://www.starfall.com/

Just to make sure that everyone is on the same page, Bill and I are expecting our third blessing in August.  The initial due date was the 21st but after the sonogram has been revised to the 25th.  And yes, it is only one baby, not multiples.  I have my next ob appt next week so the Dr and I will discuss the due date.  The Ultrasound is on March 25th when we will find out if it's a boy or a girl.  I have been having the usual nausea and dizzy spells, but thankfully not to the degree they were with Hope or Nate.  I think that's just God's mercy on me.  Needless to say, schooling as a whole has taken a back seat.  We haven't stopped altogether, just sticking to the very basic essentials.

This has been a rough month, but we are muddling through.  Bill is doing his busy season work and the long hours have been early on and often.  His job was made even more challenging when his boss had to take medical leave last week.  Though some of the tasks are being distributed to other directors, Bill is taking on the bulk of the work.  Please pray for stamina and for good health as the next three weeks are going to be very long for him.

I mention this because we have been in Dallas to see him, and the times together have been limited to breakfast time and lunch time.  We're hoping tonight and tomorrow night to have some good family nights together.

Another fly in the ointment was that I pulled a muscle in my back 2 weeks ago and it took over a week to heal.  Thanks to wonderful friends from my sunday school class for meals, even taking the trash out for us and for my dear mil who dropped everything to come and take care of Nate while I healed. 

I am so glad that we are homeschooling year-round so that I don't feel so guilty about not doing the full schedule right now because Hope is still progressing and learning. She is getting better at recognizing what a word's first letter is. We are working on concepts such as before, after and inbetween which are important math concepts.  She even read the word "Home" out of the blue the other day.  I've heard from several other hsing moms that these types of breakthroughs seem to happen when "school" is on break, that the break allows our children time to mull and further digest what they have been learning.  We are hoping to get back on a full schedule in mid-March when busy season is over and my nausea and dizziness are gone.

Thanks for visiting my blog and look forward to hearing from you.

Hope and I have been working on life skills the past few months.  She has been learning how to rinse off her plates untensils and load them in the dishwasher, clean her room and make her bed, dust some of the furniture and even helping me with the laundry.

The other day she decided to take on a new life skill on her own.  Picture if you will Mom (Me) standing in the kitchen getting ready to prepare dinner when I hear a voice from behind me say,

"Look Mommy, I cut my hair".  

I turn around, not knowing what to expect, and see that about half of her bangs are gone, the carnage later found on the bathroom floor.  So, I gathered up the hair and placed it in a ziploc bag and wrote,

"Hope's First Self-Service Haircut" (with the date)

Needless to say, her scissor time will be more closely supervised for the time being.

Welcome to Tredway’s Notes.  I am writing this in part for journaling purposes but also to let our family and friends join us in this journey.  I am not a wordsmith or a journalist, just a Mom who is blessed with the opportunity to teach my children at home and on the road.   This first entry will be focused more on the journey thus far and some background information for those new to homeschooling.   This entry will also be longer than the typical day-to-day ones, so bear with this lengthy intro.

Also, please ignore the goofy picture of a cartoon-like character in the top right hand column.  I'll have a real pic posted soon, hopefully before the year is out.  J

Just to set the record straight, we don’t have 10 kids, we don’t live on a farm, I don’t grind the grains and bake bread, I don’t churn my own butter,  we don’t have chickens or goats and most importantly I do not own a single denim jumper.   J  Today there really is no “typical” homeschooler and I’m thankful for that.  A great resource to read if you are interested in homeschooling or just mildly curious is Lisa Welchel’s book  So You’re Thinking about Homeschooling? (She played Blair on the TV Series “The Facts of Life” and has homeschooled her three children.)

Who are we?

Bill is the Dad.  He works for one of the big 4 accounting firms and his group’s main office is in Dallas (Texas that is).  We are blessed that he is able to work from home most of the year, but he is required to travel to the main office throughout the year.   During the winter, we join him frequently in Dallas, taking the opportunity to see old friends and take in field trips. 

Cheryl (me) is the Mom.  I have Crohn’s and had a very bad relapse to the point that my Gastroenterologist was about to begin IV drug therapy because I was not responding to the steroid therapy.  I then made the decision to resign my job in 2002 so that I could devote my full time and attention to getting well.  We see this as God’s blessing because I was ready to be at home and we soon found out that we were expecting our first blessing, Hope.

Hope is the daughter.  She was born in 2003 and is our oldest child.  Her start in the world was a bit bumpy.  Her first 24 hours were spent in an oxygen tent, then for the next 18 months she had moderate-to-severe reflux.  Thankfully she outgrew this and has grown up to be a strong, healthy and very, very energetic young lady.

Nate is the son.  He was born in 2008, so his formal schooling is bit down the road.  He is our surprise baby as there is almost a 4-1/2 year difference between him and Hope.  While we were surprised by this addition to our family, he is such a joy to have.

Where are we?

We currently reside in the state of Oklahoma, the only state that has the right to homeschool guaranteed in the state’s constitution.  One of the delegates’ family homeschooled and this man had a desire to see that this option would be preserved for generations to come.  Below is a link to the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) webpage that gives a legal analysis on the laws in Oklahoma. 

http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp?State=OK

In addition to the right to homeschool , the state also has no burdensome regulations.  A recent study cited that children from states with significant regulations and those from low-to-no regulations showed no difference in performance on standardized tests.   (If I can find that data, I will post it)

I will elaborate in a future entry but after researching all three options; public, private and homeschooling, we felt that homeschooling was the best option not only for our children, but for our family.

How are we homeschooling?

If you ask 10 homeschooling families how they homeschool you will get 10 different answers.  There is no right or wrong way to do it.  Each family has children with different talents and needs, so even within one family, each child may be very different in how they learn. 

We are using an eclectic Charlotte Mason approach.  We keep our lessons very short, are selective on what material is read (no twaddle-junk food for the mind), and allow for time for discovery through playtime.  Hope’s high energy level and imagination make for some interesting learning experiences.  We also appreciate Miss Mason’s desire that all children should be exposed to quality art and music.  During her time, only children of the wealthy were afforded this privilege. 

What is the Charlotte Mason Method?

http://simplycharlottemason.com/basics/what-is-the-charlotte-mason-method/

We are though not purist in her methods.  We are using workbooks for Hope’s lessons, especially for pre-phonics and math instruction.   Currently we are using the following:

Pre-Phonics:  Primer series of Explode the Code:  Get Ready for the Code ; Get Set for the Code and Go for the Code.

Handwriting practice: A Reason for Handwriting – K level

Math and Thinking Skills: Rod & Staff’s A-B-C preschool series.  When finished with the math portion of this series, we will begin using the Horizons K math.

Science: We are not using a set curriculum for science as.  Currently we are learning about the 5 senses and how they help us discover our world.  We’ve covered Sight, learning about the eye, and are wrapping up Taste, learning about the tongue.  Our next sense will be Hearing (ear), then Smell (nose) and finally Touch (hands).  We are using printouts from Enchanted Learning’s website to help us learn about the basic parts of each sense.  This is more of an introduction and exposure to our senses than to gain mastery at this point.  We will go over this again in more depth at a later time.  When we are finish with the senses, we will be focusing on animals, fish and birds.

Art Appreciation:  We are studying pictures out of Language Lessons for Little Ones by Queen Homeschool.  This book was created for the purpose of implementing Charlotte Mason’s approach to Language Arts, and incorporates full color artwork from many different artists, some admittedly I’ve never heard of.  Next year, or sooner if she is ready, we will begin to learn about the artists and to learn how each artist has their own style and how we can discern who painted a picture and/or when it was painted.

Art Skills:  She has an abundant supply of crayons, markers, colored pencils, paper, scissors,  and paint supplies and makes all kinds of interesting drawings .  She loves working with her Playdoh and making all kinds of things, including letters.

Music:  We are listening to various works from different composers.  Each month we focus on one composer’s music but I am not giving formal instruction.  This is just a time to be exposed to the music and begin to appreciate the styles of the different composers.  We have also provided Hope with an array of musical instruments that she can use to make her own music.  Formal instruction again will be reserved for a later time.

Bible Study: While the academics are important, our first and foremost objective is to instruct our children in the Lord and to lead them to a saving faith in Jesus Christ.  What good would it be for our children to be Ivy-league graduates who are atheists or agnostics?    So for this we are using a Read n See DVD Bible that Hope really enjoys.  We read about Gabriel’s visit to Mary and on Jesus’ Birth.  In the weeks leading up to Easter we will focus on the actual events that lead up to the Crucifixion and Resurrection.  This summer we will go over the promises that Jesus gave during his ministry on earth, followed by the parables.

Bible Devotionals:  We are using Leading Little Ones to God .  It does a great job of discussing very complex issues in words that are understandable to little ones (even this adult too)  J

Memory Verses:  There are two different resources that we are using now.  One is Truth and Grace Bible Memory Verses, with verses, hymns, books of the Bible and certain people of the Bible to memorize.  The second is Steve Green’s 2-volume “Hide’Em in Your Heart” CD/DVD sets.  Hope loves these DVD’s and I love them because they show the verses in action.  She even started trying to clean up her room without being told after watching the video “Children obey your parents in the Lord” Ephesians 6:1.

That's all for now...thanks for sticking with me on this intro.  No more novel entries in the near future.