I have a theory that I may live below a "Black Hole". Now I have heard rumors that this "Black Hole" is vast and may move about the country, but I would have to confirm, that for the most part, it seems to exist here on this mountain. I do believe that the powerful suction must lie directly above my house. I have noticed that the wind picks up around 3pm everyday, could this just be a coincidence? I think not!

Now you may think that this would be terrifying for me, but to be perfectly honest I cannot see it, so it's easy to convince myself that the things that are being pulled into thin air are either lost, because of myself, or my children. However, I am beginning to realize that all the periphenlia that we lose, on a monthly basis, cannot possibly be done humanly. No, this is the work of the "Black Hole".

I have mentioned to Den that we may need to move, but he just isn't a believer. He is still convinced that it's me, and this phenomena is just the lacking of putting things where they belong. I have brought up the list of many things that proves his theory incorrect though. Like my wedding ring, who would have misplaced that? Or what about the library book that no one ever read? How about all the gold toe socks that he drooled over, got to wear once, and then every last pair disappeared? How about all the old, dingy, stringy towels that I was embarassed of, but are now MISPLACED? Hmmmmmm??? This is just the tip of the iceberg people! 

We keep these sorts of conversations brief. It is very difficult to convince a non "Black Hole" believer, that the blame doesn't lie with me, or my housekeeping abilities. When talking to friends, who have left something small in my care, (they know who they are), and it vanishes, they secretly think I am just being irresponsible. I don't have the heart to tell them that each time they come to visit me, that they should be insured, for all their belongings are in jeopardy, if left too long, in my care. I have no control of this Black Hole, and all that it swallows.

So, if you don't hear from me in awhile, come looking for me, and my best advice is to look up and see if you can see a woman in pink pajama pants swirling about in the sky. If so, it's just little ole' me, and make sure you tell my husband, "She TRIED to tell you!"