Dec. 8, 2006 - I'm Back!!!!
I miss blogging. And I have finally learned to enjoy life without the computer. So I am going to try again with the whole blogging thing. I miss being able to just write what's on my heart and mind. I love to journal and typing is the fastest way for me. But this blog is finished. I am moving on to something different now. It'a a little more focused. It's basically a response to the work the Lord has been doing in my life recently. It won't have a daily entry anymore. No time for that. But when time allows and the Lord leads, I will be putting my thoughts out there. If anyone is interested in keeping up with me, my new blog is http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LivingByDailyGrace/. I don't even know when I will get to put my first entry in there. I am to the point where I want to be much more purposeful about what I am writing so I won't do it on a daily basis. And after the baby arrives I don't even know if I'll time for anything. We are starting a new curriculum in January (more on that later) PLUS adding a new family member. Things should get interesting. But so far there is nothing to put there. LOL!!!!
God Bless,
Karen
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Oct. 31, 2006 - A Higher Calling!!!
I have been trying to figure out all day what I would title this blog. That title just hit me as I sat down to write. I have always had a passion to write. I am not a good writer though. But it's definately something I love to do. I have a huge box full of spirals that I have filled up in my 10 years of marriage. I love to journal and I have to be very careful not to let it take over my prayer and study time in the morning. But today it seemed a necessary part of my quiet time. My journal entry basically became God's call in writing. And I believe it's something He wants me to share here.
*** Like always, this will probably be long. I hope I don't bore too many people with this.***
I have been wrestling intently with my calling as a woman. Like alot of homeschool moms (especially on this blog) I grew up in the public school setting and was bombarded with feminist message after feminist message. I was a Christian but I still held alot of feminist views. I can recall times in my youth when I would read a passage of scripture about wife or women and I couldn't make sense of the passage in light of what the world around me lived. And there was no one to lead the way. I think it was most confusing to me because I watch so many women in my church, women I looked up to, live out the feminist model in their lives.
I married with these ideas as well. I didn't know the slightest bit about submitting to my husband. I had a career so there wasn't time to submit and take care of my home. We went our seperate ways each day and then would hang out on the weekend. We were kids that were married and had NO responsibility outside of the work. He didn't lead and I didn't follow. I didn't want children when we first married and he wanted to wait 4 years. . .at least. God had a different plan when i began to long for a children into our 2nd year of marriage and He answered that longing the next year. My dh and I were shocked. I was elated. . .he wasn't so sure. But even being elated didn't keep me from considering the feminist mindset. And driving by day cares everyday going to work didn't help much.
Being a stay at home was a peace of cake for me in the beginning. I loved being home with my baby. She became known as my "bell schedule" because she would literally eat, sleep, and poop on a schedule. I figured it was because she spent so much time listening to the bells rings at school. LOL!!!! We lived in a small apartment and that made it very easy to keep up. I was an expert at stocking up in the kitchen and with toiletries. I started to learn more and more about cooking with whole foods. And I even kept up with the budget. I did such a great job with the budget that I was able to save enough of my dh's commission checks for a down payment on our first house in less than a year.
But I wasn't a good mom. I forced alot of those schedule patterns on my newborn. I used the cry it out method and it killed me. I was following the advice of a Christian couple in my child training. Mind you, I never consulted my dh. He was fine with what we were doing at the time and wanted the perfect baby. I later found out that this couple had sort of a shadey past and they refuse to listen in areas of church discipline. They left the church and then started attacking the pastor of the church that called them out. As a result of following their advice, my dd spent alot of time by herself. I also spent alot of time running from Bible studies to MOPS groups. All in the name of making sure that momma was filled up and taken care of so she could take care of the family. (Don't get me started on my view of mother's groups. It wouldn't be pretty.) But what about the baby?
I discovered I was pregnant with my 2nd the weekend we moved into our new house. Boy was I tired. It was alot harder to keep up with my house then. Six months into my pregnancy I was in a head on collision. My car was totalled and the other guy drove away. This began a slow and steady fall into depression for me that ended in full blown post partum depression after my baby was born. Much to my dismay, I ended up having to be medicated to get out of it. I hated it every step of the way.
Despite feeling better, I still dealt with tremendous fear after that accident. My greatest fear was my children. What would happen if I died in a car accident and my babies were left in the back screaming for mommy? I couldn't help them. Who would take care of them? Hind sight can tell me now that God was using that time in my life to reveal His Sovereignty and that He's always in control. But it took along time for me to learn that.
So with all that my home keeping skills went down the drain. I was overwhelmed. It didn't help that I became pregnant shorty after my ds turned one. Oh, and let's add to that misery a call from my dh on the same day informing me that his job had been terminated and that his miserly boss had cheated him out of a very large amount of money. Could it get any worse than this? YES!!! At 14 weeks pregnant I had to have my appendix removed or risk it bursting and losing the baby completely. Oh, and there was no insurance so we were paying for this out of pocket. But we got to witness God's tremendous provision in that He provided a job for my dh and allowed us to pay off those bills in less than a year.
But things for me just seemed to keep going down hill. My last month of pregnancy was horrible. I was having daily fights with my mom (who was very upset over my choice to homebirth.) My liver disease had flared up in week 36 and was getting to be very painful and irritating. I was frightened of losing my baby to still birth (as a complication to the Cholestatis) but I wanted to trust my midwife who is a Christian and vowed to take care of me. We finally induced labor at 39 weeks and that was a disaster. I ended up transporting to the hospital, which is the last place I wanted to be. God, again, was gracious to me allowed my first attempts at breastfeeding to be successful. My precious baby latched on and never let go. LOL!!!!!
The only draw back to transporting was that she had go through a round of antibiotics because she passed her meconium. I also had to have a round of antibitoics because my midwife did not have my files with her stating that I had been tested for Group B and was negative. These two very small and trivial things (to most people anyway) have led me down a road I never thought I would be on. One month after she was born we both developed very painful thrush. I sought the help of my dr. To make a long story short, over the next 18 months I suffered from very severe food allergies and anaphylaxic reactions due to the fact that my body was so full of Candida. I was in the ER 3 times for anaphylaxic. Once I had to ride in the ambulance (which was fun but not something I want to repeat.) I discovered in all this that I had to change my diet. No sugar. No yeast. No dairy. No fruit except green apples. Just meat and veggies. That is hard to swallow when you are addicted to food. And so goes my life. I still don't like it and I fight it daily.
One thing I haven't mentioned over all this time is how I was an a mother. I was emotionally absent. I couldn't even keep up with my house. I screamed alot at my children and lost my temper alot. I no longer dealt with severe depression so my babies weren't in physical danger. But their hearts were in danger. Through this time the Lord began to convict me of just how bad a mother I really was. As I researched homeschooling I found more and more out there on godly womanhood. I was introduced to the idea that feminism is no where near God's best. His best is right in the Word of God. That was new to me. So I began trying harder and harder. But I wasn't getting any better at being a mom (or a wife for that matter.) We started to have issues in our church as well. Neither one of us was happy there anymore. We finally left the church. It's been 4 years and we have finally found a church.
We bought a house almost 3 years ago but nothing has changed. In fact, my homekeeping skills have gotten so bad that my house is filthy. I can't do anything about it because I am so worn out. I have 4 children under 7. I am pregnant with number 5. I am an emotional wreck. I am struggling with some things in my marriage (although we are working those through.) I am trying to homeschool as well. . .and I am failing miserably at teaching my children. They are rebellious and sometimes out of control. This leads to me losing my temper and then falling apart because I did.
So here I am today. Why write about all this? Because God is calling me to a higher calling and I finally listening. He doesn't want me to be caught in this web of sin anymore. He's set me free. I just have to claim that freedom and live in obedience to Him.
Several months ago the Lord led me to a passage in Ezekiel that I love. I believe that it's His message to me right now.
"And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances and do them Then they will be My people, and I shall be their God." (Ezekial 11:19-20)
I have such a heart of stone right now. I have been unwilling to obey the Lord in where He's taking me. The greatest area of disobedience in with my diet. As radical as it sounds, I believe my calling right now is to reject man-made food and embrace the fact that God has given up life giving food in nature. I continue to serve meat to my family because my dh likes it. But I could go without it. It may be needed to get my body back where it needs to be so that I can fight the Candida more. My immune system is shot. God has blessed me with knowledge so that I can apply it. I have been foolish and disobedience NOT to apply it. My alternative medicine won't work if the diet doesn't create an environment that is already able to fight.
Another area of conviction is my submission to my dh. Although it's gotten better through the years, there is so much more I need to learn. I suppose it works like that with everyone. We never really arrive. But right now, He's got alot to teach about my dh and following him.
Another area of disobedience is in my home. I can by a very organized person. Sometime I can be anal about it. I am a messy by nature but eventually that messy begin to bother me and I will turn from my wicked ways. LOL!!!! But I have allowed it to get so out of hand that I can't keep up anymore. I am overwhelmed by stuff so I can't keep up with my house. I am so overwhelmed that my dh is helping on the weekends to clean (and that is an embarassing admission for me to make.) Along with this, my spending is out of control. We aren't in debt and I don't use credit to feed my need to spend money. But I have taken us right up to the very limit of our checking account. And I accuse my dh of not taking our budget seriously. I overspend my cash for the month (which I use for toiletries and groceries and other things that might come up during the month.) I don't plan ahead with my menus like I know how to do so I end up overspending. . .OR we eat out. Which takes me back to the idea of eating what isn't food versus eating what is food. It's victious cycle that I can't seem to get a handle on.
Where am I going with all this? Back to my higher calling. Six weeks ago I began to sense a conviction in my heart to turn off the computer. Oh, I have taken breaks along the way. But they were never enough and never what God really wanted me to do. And I would fast from the TV only to find it back on during a time when I felt depressed. I am afraid to turn off the computer because that will leave me, well, out of the loop and out of control. What if I need to order something online (I do alot of my monthly shopping online because I don't use your normal everyday cleaning, medications, or food.) My homeschool group communicates soully through email. I have a couple of email loops I am on and I enjoy them. And then there is blogging. What will I do with my blog?
But God has begun to give me a vision of my life without TV or the computer. Of course, I have an ideal image in my head. And I believe God is showing me that I need HIS vision for my life. While my vision may be good. . .His is better.
I have been craving simplicity. If I didn't spend money on just stuff I could probably simplify. If I didn't have the distactions that I have, I could spend small periods of time daily simplifying my home and making it just exactly what it needs to be. We could live the war time living we believe the Lord is working into our marriage and family (see "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper.) If I could learn to let go of my dependence on stuff and depend on the Lord, then life would be easier to simplify and perhaps the joy of living in Christ would return to my heart.
Obedience is my higher calling. That entails giving over the things that I find important and sacrificing for HIM. It takes courage to be a woman of God. It takes courage to be all that I believe God is calling me to be regardless of whether other people are doing it to. The Lord is growing courage in my heart. He's taking me places I never thought I would be.
So where does the partical side of all this come into play? Well, very simply, it's time to say goodbye. God wants my blog. He wants my email. He wants my online shopping malls. He's asking me to give them up for my higher calling. He wants the TV. He wants my anger. And he wants my spending. No more useless stuff. He's wants my heart wholey devoted to Him. And until He gets my heart, the agony and separation in my heart will never find peace. I mentioned my heart being heavy in a recent post. It lacks faith right now in a Holy God that He's in control. My heart lacks a severe understanding of the grace given to me. I KNOW that I am saved by grace and that nothing I DO can save me. But grace isn't something my heart can get ahold of. It's all in my head. I want it in my heart.
So with that, I am signing off. . .for good. I will be asking my dh to take control of my email and give me important information as it's needed. I am shutting down one of my email addresses. I am shutting off the TV. And I am giving my heart to the Lord to mold and share as He sees fit. I don't have a choice anymore. I have tried to live my life without Him in the center. And it's put me on the run. I don't trust people and that is something He doesn't want in my life anymore. I am angry at people. Anger is a sin and it must go (besides, it's making me physically ill.) I am spiraling out of control and I want to stop it all NOW.
I have so much enjoyed this blog. It's been fun to read what is going on the lives and hearts of other women like me. It's been sorrowful at times to read of the hardships fellow Christians are facing. Sometimes, it's just been plain informative for me. But I can't do it anymore. I am on information overload. I am tired of running and avoiding God. I pray that all the friends I have made through this blog are blessed by God.
I am off to live my higher calling to be wife, mother, and keeper AT home. I am off to build relationships with my children and to win their hearts back. I am off to learn how to cook from scratch and not purchase processed foods. I am off to get my body and health back. I am off to learn to submit to my dh and love him as I should. I am off to live the Great Adventure of Life. . .hopefully without too many distractions.
God Bless. . .and Good bye!!!
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Oct. 26, 2006 - Heavy hearts tonight
This hasn't been the best of days for my family. I am going through alot of junk in my walk with the Lord. It seems as if He's trying to get my attention but I am not listening. So I keep getting more and more miserable in my rebellion. I had a good cry and prayer this afternoon to begin working through some of my rebellion. But I am pretty messed up so there is a long road ahead of me.
Speaking of rebellion. I have a 7 year that is full of it. She's trying so hard to do the right things. I can see the look of disappointment on her when she's again caught in the usual sins. But today was different. She got caught in a sin she's never had before. The pain in her eyes was hard to ignore. But I had to. She deliberately defied and disobeyed me. And she got caught in front of her younger brother so that made it worse. I held my temper (it's been flaring a lot lately.) I was in the middle of my cry with the Lord when she was caught so I sent her quietly to her room to wait on me until her little brother woke up. What made it worse is that I could tell as she walked to her room that her heart wasn't as broken as I first thought. She has a way of grabbing the side of the dresses and "marching" off to appear that she's compliant. But it's so obvious her little heart is angry at me for catching her in her sin and being upset over it. She been making comments about how everyone hates it when she has fun. "Is sin fun?" I have asked her many times. Silence comes at that point with lots of anger behind the eyes. Oh when will this child begin to see her sin as it really is. . .oh wait a minute. When will I begin to see MY sin for what it really is? And there you have it folks!! The true reason God gives us children. . .they are a mirror to the very core of our own souls. (and I often feel just as angry as she does when my sin is drawn out and focused on.)
My very good friend whom we have been playing with alot over the past week called to inform me that her two dds have parasites. Here we go again. The problem is that I think there is a chance it may have come from our house. My youngest is having issues in the back end. And he's been throwing up for no reasons. Good signs of parasites. It's just a suspecion. Drs can't test well for parasites so I am not even going to bother. My naturopath could but I already owe her money so I can't take him in to her. I have all the stuff i need here for a parasite cleanse so I started him on it tonight to see if that helps. But I will be staying away from indoor playgrounds again. I let up on that family rule. I wish I hadn't. Urgh!!! This is not going to be fun. But he'll feel better and possibly start behaving a little better. My next pursuit is to get my youngest dd cleanse of Candida. But I cant' do that until after the baby is born. Then I can take her to my naturopath and we'll know exactly what to target at that point. But the news just put a damper on the day.
More sin. My brother in law is having some tough problems right now. I don't want to go into detail. We are all praying that he will come back to the Lord (or turn there for the first time if he's never been before.) The bottom is dropping out from under him. No one can get a hold of him. My dh fears that he's barricaded himself in his home with lots of alcohol. Not the answer. He needs Jesus. The whole situation needs Jesus. Will he come home? Only God knows. And God is chasing him down right now. We are praying for him.
My dh is really out of sorts tonight with everything going on with his brother. He also had to get up really early to be in Chicago by 8 am. Poor guy. He's trying to so hard to be a strong family man. But doing that and winning the business his sales position requires is a tough job. I am trying to hold down things here at home. Pregnancy is wearing me out. He wants to be home for though. I don't know whether to pray for success in his sales ventures so he can be home more OR to pray for a different calling so he can be home permanently. Is it selfish to want him home permanently? I miss him. I don't like that he travels. I have adjusted and will support him in everything he does. But I want him home.
So my heart is heavy. I am preparing a fairly long blog to be posted over the next few weeks. It's all part of God's plan for my life right now. It's going to require me to do somethings I don't like and that I am extremely uncomfortable doing. I am having a hard time wording my post and actually putting it out there. There is great sacrifice involved in it. And it's a sacrifice I think I am still trying to talk God out of. Good grief. Could I be more like my 7 yod? Maybe God has given this child to me as my first so that I can see just how ugly in sin I really am. And I sometimes feel so hopeless that I will every overcome it.
I am off to bed to dream weird dreams again. I love being pregnant but I don't like late term pregnancy dreams. But I think they are intended to prepare the mother for the light sleeping she most have with a newborn. Despite the fact that I cosleep, I am still a light sleeper with my baby. I guess it's the protective nature of being a mom. The good things is that when it's time to nurse, we just nurse and then sleep is sweet. I am getting very excited about holding this baby.
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Oct. 26, 2006 - cloth diapers
I got my cloth diapers yesterday. Ok, they're not mine. They belong to Drew and his soon to be baby brother or sister. I am still working on washing them to make them nice and absorbant. I have two more washings to go. But I was able to put one of his All-in-One diaper on today. I am impressed so far. It's the first AIO I have owned brand new. It's called the BumGenius one size fits all AIO diaper. I read several reviews on it and it was mixed. But the bad reviews came BEFORE they changed the diaper to it's current make and form. So I bought 3 and I am going to give them a try. They are really cute on his little bottom. Too bad I can't let him go around in only a diaper anymore. :( The rest of my "system" consists of brand new prefold diapers and 5 brand new proraps. Oh, and I got 6 Kissaluvs that were on sale. Woohoo!!!! They do take along time to dry though.
I have done cloth diapers before. My three middle children have all been in cloth. The early potty training worked great with my dd. She literally trained herself about 2 weeks after her 2yod birthday. Unfortunately, I haven't been as diligent at night with her and she's still in pull ups. My next mission is to find her some cloth training pants to wear at night. She's starting to beg me for cloth. hehehe!!!!
My other system of diapers bit the dust. . .literally. They are now cleaning cloths. They had been used with three babies and I am not sure I took the best care of them. Over 5 years they just kind of got ragged. The covers were gross as well. My dh gave me permission to start over. I am working my way toward being rally crunchy and this is something I needed to brink back to get there. hehehe!!! My dh is the one that suggested the All-in-One diapers. I was shocked considering they cost more. But he's looking for simple to help me out (and he's probably looking for something easier to slip on the babies when he changes them.) So if the AIO diapers work we are going to order more in a couple of months for both babies. But I don't mind using the prefolds and a cover. I guess that means I need to keep the AIO around for dh to change diapers.
The only thing we are doing differently this time around is cloth at night. That should be an adventure. I figured since I know how to do cloth already it was time to start this. And what a better way to be more crunchy than to use cloth all the time. I have invested well in wool soaker and many, many doublers to use with my ds. We'll see how the those hold him. I don't know what I will do with the baby yet. The only thing I lack to make my change complete are the cloth wipes. I am trying to decide if I want to sew them or just buy the baby wash clothes again. I supposed that would be easier. Hmm. The kids have been looking for a reason to go check out the newest Super Target. We may be taking a trip there after snack.
Well, I am off the change our first cloth diaper of the day. And unfortunately it's one of those diapers that make most people stay away from cloth. Blech!!!!!!!
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Oct. 20, 2006 - Hidden Picture from Highlights Magazine
Remember Highlights Magazine? As a kid I loved this magazine but for only one reason. . . Hidden Pictures. Well, when I was looking for printable activities for my kids to do on our recent vacation I found an awesome website I thought I would share with everyone. They have over 160 printable Hidden Pictures for kids. I know its at least 160 because thats where I stopped counting. My kids love it. Enjoy!!!
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Oct. 20, 2006 - Hidden Pictures from Highlights Magazine
Remember Highlights Magazine? I love this magazine as a kid but for only one reason. . . .Hidden Pictures. Well, when I was looking for printable activities for my kids to do on our recent vacation I found an awesome website I thought I would share with everyone. They have over 160 printable Hidden Pictures for kids. I know its at least 160 because thats where I stopped counting. My kids love it.
Enjoy!!!
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Oct. 18, 2006 - How to know you are anemic in pregnancy!!!
This isn't scientific but there is an easy way to tell if you are anemic in pregnancy. It's the missing symptom and sign in so many online pages about anemia. So how do you know if you are anemic? Your oldest children remind you every 30 minutes to take your chlorophyll!!! They've been doing this all morning. I wander if they are trying to tell me I am grumpy today. I am not grumpy. Just, um, tired and unresponsive to much of anything. Yes, that's it. I am a zombie today. I think I will take their advice. . .then I will take a nap. LOL!!! (Well, at least after lunch. They may not appreciate me taking a nap when they are hungry for lunch.)
DeSouze - The miracle anemia cure (with a really bad taste).
Dosage: As much as you want with some stevia in a glass of water (usually 1-2 Tbs).
How to take it: Be sure the drink fast so the gagging reflex won't kick it while you are drinking.
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Oct. 16, 2006 - We're back!!
We are finally back from our trip. We got back early Saturday afternoon but we've been in rush mode to get everything put back together. My dh had to leave for Phoenix yesterday. We tried to get it all back together before he left but it just didn't happen. I am playing catch up now.
My dh is much better as telling stories so if anyone is interested in our trip, I'll link you to his blog, Underdog, and you can read about it. We had fun and are really hoping God will answer prayers to move us up there.
Things are about to get very busy for our family. Ally has a birthday next week but we are celebrating this weekend. The following weekend is so close to Halloween that we will start our hybernation until it's over. I hate Halloween. I did even as a child. It always seems so creepy. After I became a Christian I began to sense a spiritual heaviness as the date for Halloween grew closer and closer. October is a hard month for me because it's truly a time when I go through lots of spiritual attack. The only redeeming quality for October is that my Miss Ally was born. :) (Oh, and my brother has a birthday this month but he's just my brother. LOL!!)
November is very busy with family pictures, Christmas shopping (we try to finish before Thanksgiving), a women's conference for me, Thanksgiving, and a trip to visit my grandparents to be drilled by extended family about homeschooling and WHY I am having more children. Gee, I am really looking forward to that.
I will start my 3rd trimester this coming weekend (well, that also depends on what website you do the due ate calculator on - LOL!!!). I am already feeling tired. But I think it's anemia. My body is not doing the same thing it's done in the past with anemia so I am confused. I started my chlorophyll this morning so I'll know in the morning if it's anemia. It's the right time. It's could also be other stuff.
I am also a major emotional rollcoaster. My children are downstairs playing with the CD and listening to music while I am hiding on the computer. My energy level is really low and I just kind oof feel meloncholy and depressed. Dh and I have hit a bump in the road regarding our marriage. We totally see God working but this is a hard one. I believe God is working in my heart to do somethings that I am soooooo not comfortable doing. But this is GOD asking me. How can I say no? So I am really wrestling right now. My sin nature doesn't want to give over to this one. But I wearing down in the fight. I just don't think I can continue to fight with God over this. But I am fearful. I guess that is what I fighting most. I want to completely trust God but there is fear. Fear is my favorite sin and He knows it. It's just another part of my life He's having to weed the fear out so I can grow.
I can't wait for my dh to be home. Our marriage is strong but it's in a transition period. I feel very insecure without him here to just reassure me that everything is alright. Sometimes he just comes up behind me and hugs me. It always tells me he's still here with me no matter what rough spot we hit. I spent nearly a week and a half with him. You'd think I would be tired of him. I don't think I can ever get tired of him. I am too much in love with him. My parents went through lots of problems at this stage in their marriage. They almost seperated. I fully expected to be there myself. But we're not. We're struggling with some things but there is a fight within both our hearts not to lose the other one. There is just a part of me that wishes God would move us through this quickly (did I mention that impatience is also a favorite sin?) But I suspect that isn't going to happen. He's got too much to do between us. It will be interesting to see what comes out of this rough spot. I love him so much. And I really miss him right now. (I think I shall put the kids down for a nap and go cry for a while.)
One last thought. I paid my brother to house sit for us. He decided to take it upon himself to spoil my cat. He was literally giving her crunchies every hour. Now she feels she's entitled to be fed that much. And when she's not she will mark things or simply pee on the floor. I am very tempted this afternoon to drop her off on the nearest highway and leave her. Oh, and he let my dogs CHEW on my collectable Boyd's Bears. He didn't know they were off limits. THEY WERE SITTING ON A TABLE AND HAD THEIR TAGS STILL ON THEM. They are ruined now. I was really appreciative of him housesitting but I am also really miffed over this. I feel stuck between a rock and hard place. He's not the most responsible person in the world but I thought he was smarter than this. URGH!!! I think I just need to vent about this one.
I am hungry and need to go eat. I made some yummy stew when we got home and I am thoroughly enjoying it. I love winter meals. :)
God Bless
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Oct. 8, 2006 - Vacation: Days 1-4
We have great internet access in our hotel room so I am going to be able to blog a little about what we have been doing. I wish I could post pictures but we haven't figured out how to download them into my dh's computer.
DAY ONE:
** Got off 10 minutes earlier than scheduled despite waking to a baby who throw up in the middle of the night.
** Took a detour to Lubbock, TX to see where mommy spent part of her childhood (I have very fond memories.)
** Stayed in a dump of a hotel in Amarillo
DAY TWO:
** Left early again.
** Took forever to get through New Mexico.
** Child got sick at McDonald's and several times in the car.
** Stopped in Colorado Springs to check out Seven Falls (it was ok.) We though child was not sick anymore (could be altitude.)
** Child still sick in the car.
** Hit rush hour traffic coming into Denver. Toddler freaking out in the back seat. Mommy losing her mind. Daddy starting to feel sick. Uh Oh!!
** Everyone fell asleep very quickly. Daddy goes to bed with a fever!!
DAY THREE:
**Mommy is very, very ,very sick!!!!! not much else to report!!!! (did you know it's not very fun to be sick in a hotel room?)
**Everyone picked up Uncle Phil at the airport.
DAY FOUR:
**Cold front blew into Colorado in the middle of the night. Yeah!!!
** Left early for Estes Park and hiking in Rocky Mountain national Park.
** It rained the whole way up the mountain and stopped when we got in to town.
** Girls went shopping. No shopping alone for mommy but she had fun anyway. We hunted everywhere for the perfect stuffed dog and cat and a bag of rocks.
** Boys went hiking and froze the toddler. They did get to see a herd of Elk and decided to make one mad.
MORE TO COME!!!
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Oct. 3, 2006 - an allergic reaction to crayons!!!!!!! (Part 2)
Well, it turns out that NON-TOXIC crayons have a toxic effect on my 3 yod. You guessed. . .allergic reaction. Thankfully this wasn't bad enough for the Epipen and a rush to the ER. But she did start having the same kind reaction I get. Then her eyes started itching and her tummy started hurting (which could have simply been from the crayon.) Then she started complaining about her throat hurting. That scared me enough to pull out the Benedryl and watch her like a hawk. He cheeks turned bright red but no hives. Hopefully she won't do this again. But it's also showing me just how much I have got to get back on vegetarian diet. We were all so healthy and had no allergic reactions to anything. I ate something last night and ended up having an asthma attack. I woke up with it this morning. It wasn't bad and Benedryl helped me as well. But now I am dead on my feet from the Benedryl.
Anyway, this is the last day before our trip so I am signing off. . . at least I think. I keep saying that and always end up back on it. I had to run errands really early this morning so I had some dresses to take on our trip. We got back and had breakfast and I gave myself until 9am to eat and drink my coffee. It's 9:02am. i am signing off and planning to enjoy my trip.
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Oct. 3, 2006 - This is so GROSSSS!!!!!!!
My oldest just came to me and said that Ally has something on her face. She really sounded concerned. With all the food allergies Ally tends to have my first thought was hives (and then a run on the ER.) Then she explained that it was orange. Huh? Then my thoughts went to her stealing the Juice Plus chewables that turn orange once they go in the mouth. Then she walked around the corner and I knew just what the orange was. SHE ATE AN ORANGE CRAYON!!!!! That is soooooo gross. When I asked her why she ate the crayon (which BTW is the really stupid thing that we mother's like to do) she said she likes to eat crayons. WHAT?!!!!!! Ok, cooking dinner is going to be a challenge as I consider that my youngest has choosen crayon over mom's cooking (which, as I think about, maybe that IS why she's eating crayons. I just knew that someday my cooking would drive my children to do something crazy in order to get nourishment. I guess the time has come.)
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Oct. 3, 2006 - On a Happy note
I just couldn't leave my blog with a sad post. So I am wasting time to blog another (actually I am trying to get a little closer to 5pm when my dh lands at DFW and will be home an hour after that.)
We are all getting so excited about our trip. My almost 4 yod keeps asking where Colorado is on the map. I have a strange feeling that all my children will somehow be involved in a Geography Bee at some point in their lives. Partly because mom is considering it for them. But mostly because these kids can't get enough of our the maps in our house. I LOVE IT!!!! I just love to see my children's interest taking off.
We are about to begin our treck into the laundry room. We haven't washed laundry in a week and a half. That is on purpose so I can get everything washed before we leave except their PJs (which are for the summer) and the clothes they wear tomorrow (but actually the PJs are coming with us since we're throwing them in car asleep on Thursday morning at 5am.) In fact, I am about to give the assignment of bringing me the clothes they want to wear tomorrow.
Oh HORRORS!!!!!! MY TODDLER JUST STARTED WRITING ON MY WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I am going to have two wall artist. I would take up stock in Magic Eraser but there are two problems with that. First of all, the paint in our house is cheap that even a wash cloth with water takes the paint off. Secondly, if we put our house on the market next spring (which we are hoping for) we are going to repaint the walls with the washable paint so that I CAN wash off wall art if needed. Of course, the only problem would be if my very artistic almost 4 yod finds another sharpie marker to draw with. I will have to tell the Sharpie Marker story sometime. She decided to get one off my desk this past week and wrote all over a table that her grandfather made for her and her sister. I was livid. And she got the marker on purpose this time. If not for the fact that my dh was there to calm me, I am afraid my hormones would have taken over at the time. <
I am headed down stairs to start my first batch of bread and the first load of laundry. I am going to break down and let my kids watch a video this afternoon. We spent the morning and early afternoon at the pumpkin patch. It was SOOOO hot. I am hoping that we will bring cooler weather home with us. Better yet, I am hoping that my dh's company will simply say "Go to your choice of cities and we'll pay for it." Hey, it could happen.
And that is the lighter side of Karen today. And if it's my last until after vacation, then it will be a fun post and not a depressing post as I put below this morning.
God Bless!!!
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Oct. 3, 2006 - Sadness
When my alarm went off this morning the local Christian radio station was playing a song that Micheal W. Smith wrote after the Columbine Shootings in April 1999. I only caught the last part of the song but it brought tears to my eyes. After the song was finished the radio announcer relayed the news that two more young girls died in the middle of the night last night. That brought the death toll to 5 LITTLE girls. Yahoo news report said these little girls were tied at the feet and told to face the black board. Coward!!!!!
Over at Spunkyhomeschool she has a short report on the fact that it's been made public that the shooter was homeschooled. First of all, why is that significant? The boys at Columbine weren't and their killing was calculated and planned out. Secondly, once again it leaves homeschooler open to answer the questions about homeschooling that so many people tend to ask when tragedy happens in our midst. But this isn't necessarily a tradegy for the homeschool community. This is a tragedy for the Amish families, the family of the man who shot them, and really, who whole nation.
In the last week we have had 3 school shootings. They are saying the Amish school is the 2nd worst in our history. Columbine, of course, is at the top. The Bush administration is call a forum the next week on school safety. Will it do any good? Children learned very quickly after Columbine to make authorities aware of potential problems. And in recent years it has saved many lives.
Are school shootings a reason to homeschool? I know that Columbine pushed me toward investigating it. Will this do the same for other parents? Maybe. I am not sure fear is a good reason to do anything, even if that something is quite normal and do-able. But maybe it will start parents in that direction. The schools are not safe. . .period. It doesn't matter if you are in an inner city schoo, upper middle class school, or (now) an old fashion one room school house.
I have no answers to this. It makes me angry to hear it in the news again. I think I am more angry that this man not only destroyed the lives of these families, but he selfishly destroyed the lives of his own family. I am so sad for his wife who must help her children make sense of something she probably can't make sense of.
There is no easy way to end this email. I have all sorts of opinions and ideas running through my head right now. Gun control? maybe but not always the answer. This gentleman was old enough to purchase guns and have a license. Homeschool your children? Good answer, but again fear is NOT a good reason to homeschool. Homeschooling is such a challenge and the average parent pulling their children out of school in an act of fear will probably end in failure. The government forum that Bush called? I am not sure that's the answer either. Columbine was a wake up call for the nation.. Either it's impossible to stop this kind of senseless violence OR we have become too comfortable again. Not only that, how does a person stop grown men walking into a school and just beginning to shoot a random. These kind of people don't typical brag about their plans on the internet (except the guy in Canada a few weeks ago.) Students have learned to listen and report when there is trouble. But when grown men are doing this? What's the answer? Do we put metal detectors at the school entrance? Do we put MORE police officers in the school? As if that will stop a crazy man coming into the school. We had security at the airports and murders still got through and used our own transportion as missiles. There is no good answer.
What is our world coming to? Come, Jesus, Come!!!
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Sep. 29, 2006 - Toddlers and dinosaurs
I am feeling better today although I am not sleeping much. My two middles have seen fit to visit me once a night this week. Unfortunately, last night my oldest midle got sick in the playroom and I was elected to clean it up. I have such a weak stomach so it took lots of prayer to get through it. The problem with getting wakened in the night is that I don't fall back to sleep easily. My mind starts to take off and that's it. Alot of people question why I co-sleep with my infants. Well, this is why. Sleepless nights with a newborn are bad enough. But when you can't go back to sleep then there is even more of a problem. I finally figured out with my 3rd baby that if I would just sleep with the baby, I would sleep. Mommy wakes up fresh.
On a lighter note, I wanted to write about my toddler today. He's a hoot to me. My children love to watch the movie Toy Story. So daddy was at a late dinner meeting and we had mom' tradition dinner and moive (these are the nights when mommy is really tired, kids are out of sorts, and we need a break in the action) Two nights ago they watched Toy Story and my youngest got his first real glimpse of it. He didn't sit for most of it except when he was in his highchair. But there was one scene (or character should I say) that he just loved. It was the little dinosaur, Rex. Here is his picture:
Everytime he would see Rex on the scene he would growl. LOL!!! There is nothing cuter than a little boy that has finially learned to growl. He also loves to play in DVD drawer. He's not supposed to but life happens. He was playing with it yesterday and managed to pull out an insert in the Toy Story DVD case. He just came up to me and started growling. It took me a minute to figure out he had the insert and noticed Rex on the page.
My oldest ds is very docile and always have been. I wrote about him a few days ago. He's sensitive. He still has all the boy characteristics. He's loud, silly, and loves everything boy. But he's not typical in the way he plays with this things. While I am not a fan of James Dobson, I did enjoy reading "Bringing Up Boys." But my oldest doesn't fit the mold, so to speak, of what he talks about in that book. And God couldn't have given me two opposite little boys.
Drew is all boy. I walked out in the backyard and found him sitting on top of the Little Tikes house. Talk about my heart skipping a beat. I accused my other children of helping him up there. Nope. He got up there himself. He's 20 months. He's known by many names in our family: Monkey boy, Jungle Baby. He kicks when he gets excited (which doesn't thrill my pregnant belly too much if I am not prepared.) He's typical when it comes to talking as well. He wants to but you can't understand a word he says. It's all jibberish. He has lots to say though. Yesterday I did finally mange to understand one word: "MoMo." That is Tryon for Elmo (I had another child that said "MoMo.")
Drew is passionate about life. he loves to sing but doesn't know that's what he doing (he's singing right now.) Sometimes he's just so overcome by joy that he runs through the house screaming. He screams for just about every reason. Happy. Sad. Mostly mad. If he can't have something, everyone knows it. He can't talk so his only way to communicate is to scream and flap his arms. I was swatting him for those outburst but then I figured it doesn't do him any good (although I do swat for major temper tantrums.) I finally learned that alot of his outburst are just simply not having the ability to communicate effectively. And of all my children, he's been most frustrated with that. Swatting him really just makes him more upset. So now I am stopping the fit by getting on his level and giving him the words, or signs, to talk to me. Last night he finally signed "No Thank you." This was to daddy and daddy gave him his heart's desire at the time (which was the continue walking with the rest of his siblings on our evening walk.) That doesn't happen all the time though.
Drew is a sweet boy and I love him dearly. He gives me a run for my money though. The most important thing I have noticed about him, he's the clown of the family. Little boys find body noises to be very funny. But that usually starts a little later in the preschool years. Drew thinks they are funny now. Daddy is the most funny of all. They will share the same sense of humor and will probably keep the rest of us rolling on the ground with their bantering back and forth. It's a time in life that I really can't wait for. Drew loves to wrestle with daddy and will frequently pick fights with him to get him on the ground.
My crews awaits in downstairs (as does the refrigerator with my breakfast.) I hope you enjoy a little about my baby. He won't be my baby much longer (ok, truth be told, they are all my babies. But he's the baby baby right now. And he knows it!!!!)
God Bless
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Sep. 28, 2006 - Getting sick!!
I can feel myself getting sick. Figures since we're leaving on vacation. My throat is starting to get scratchy. I can barely hold my eyes open and my head hurts. There is so much to do though. I guess it's time to spread Theives on my feet, drink more water than usual, and down the garlic. Bleech (except the for the Theives. It smells so good.)
We finished our 2nd six weeks up today. Yea!!!! I took the library books back to the library today and felt a huge burden lift off my shoulders. . .until I got home. There is luandry everywhere. Being behind on laundry will keep my loads down next week though. My kitchen is full of produce that I need to wash and eat. I need to make bread tonight so we can eat our pizza and have bread to eat. And I need a nap. Why am I am on the computer? Probably because I am avoiding dealing with some emotional heart issues right now. Alcohol isn't an option. I supposed I could drown my sorrows in chocolate but that would actually make things worse for me. There is always coffee but then I'd be up all night from the caffiene. Nope. I'll just bury myself in the computer and pretend life isn't happening around me.
Ok, well enough denial. I need to face the facts. I am getting sick. I need to rest for a while this afternoon. Then I need to suck it up and just do the work that God is calling me to. ..regardless and how my heart feels right now. I need to rest in Him. And so I shall.
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Sep. 27, 2006 - The Dentist
Whoever invented the idea of pediatric FUN dentristy was a genius. My children have been asking me for a week now when their dentist appointment is supposed to be. Me. I ask when it's going to be and I run to hide. I hate the dentist and it shows in my teeth. :( Not my kids thought. They love the dentist. Of course, it could be the fact that they get prizes and balloons.
They also receive report cards. I think that is cool although my children really don't understand what it means.
Ally and Josh both got a B+. That simply means there was very little plaque on their teeth and they need to be flossing more. My dentist was really sympathic to the fact that I have so many little ones I am trying to teach proper dental hygiene but he's insistant that it must happen. I think I am going to make flossing part of our nightly chores when I redo my chore cards.
Ally's two front teeth are still healing from the knock she took several weeks ago. Her teeth turned grey (at least they didn't go black.) They are perfectly healthy teeth that are bruised. And they take a long time to heal.
Jenny always tends to hold the bad news when it comes to teeth. At 7, she's already had fillings if that will tell you anything. That girl is going to give our dental insurance a fit. She will need braces in a year or two. She's losing baby teeth in the front. Her two front teeth on the bottom have already come in and there is no room left for the other tooth she lost to fit in there. Her x-rays showed that it's coming in crooked. <
We also found out that she has what is called Enamel Hypoplasia (Enamel Deficiency). The dentist explained to me that sometime in the later stages of her development in the womb something interfered with the production of enamel of her permanent teeth. We can already see a calcium spot on one tooth and one of her 6 year molars looks just awful in the back. He really couldn't tell me more than it's something we have to watch very closely. She doesn't have enough teeth in to tell us much of anything.
I asked him if there was a way this could have been prevented and he assured me there wasn't. I mentioned to me that I had Cholestatis of Pregnancy (my worst case) when I was pregnant with her. I took alot of drugs at the time. He said that could do it. He also mentioned that we see this alot in premature babies. Well, she was 4 weeks early so could have done it as well. We were so blessed that she was healthy at birth. She weighed 7' 14" when she was born and spent no time in the NICU. The only problem we had was jaundice and she spent several LONG nights on the bili-lights. That was it. She's a healthy little girl. And for that I am very thankful.
The next big adventure at the dentist with come in March 2007. I say adventure because I am going to have to convince my youngest ds to lay down for the dentist to do just a quick exam and brushing on his teeth. I love my dentist and how gentle they are with the little ones. They don't force any of the scarey sounding machines on them until they are ready. It's just so awesome.
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Sep. 27, 2006 - Worse than children!!!!!
I found this article through yahoo news. It's basically about Hillary Clinton defending her husband as he and Republican bicker over who did more (or less) to stop Osama Bin Laden.
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My children don't bicker this badly over STUPID things (and if they do there is usually a swift discipline involved.) Nobody stopped Osama Bin Laden because there were over 5000 people murdered a little over 5 years ago in New York, Washington DC, and Pennsylvania. Nobody knows where he is at this point. Nobody has done much to stop him because he's still at large. Doesn't it seem to make more sense to work together than against each other?
And just for record, this is the very reason that I absolutely despise politics. Both sides hate each other so badly that no one can get anything done. It's just simply ridiculous.
And that's my un-political commentary for the day.
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Sep. 26, 2006 - I made my son cry today!!!!
God has blessed my dh and I with the challenge of a very sensitive little boy. This is really giving my dh fits because he was raised to just buck and accept life. I guess in a way I was too but the compassion I have a mother helps me relate more to my ds. He is a different learner than the rest of my children as well. Unfortunately, this giftedness that he possesses also leads him to be very whiney and cry easily over little things. It's his form of manipulation I think. Well today I hit the end of the mark with it and him.
At one point after all the discipline over the whining and crying was said and done, we ended up in the bathroom to talk again. (Oh, and he's still crying at this point.) I tend to chase rabbits and one of my trails led us down the path to the holidays. I was trying to explain to my ds that from Christmas to my birthday in early February we would celebrate his birthday and welcome our new famiy member. (I had my first baby at 36 weeks and my ds was born at 37. This baby could come at any point.) Well, somehow out of that one statement he took away that we would skip his birthday. I was a little baffled at that point. I explained to him that he is very special to us and that we would never skip his birthday (Oh, I should explain that my due date is the day after his birthday.)
Then I did something I have never done with him. . .and I learned a lot from it. I have told my dh from the moment I held my ds as a baby that God had something special planned for his life. I don't sense the same thing with my other children. Not that God doesn't have a special plan for them. But I truly believe that God is going to use my ds in a big was for the kingdon. My little boy loves Jesus so much. So I finally told him this. He started crying!!!!!! URGH!!!! I couldn't figure it out.
Being ever so baffled over this I finally just asked him WHY he was crying (and I am sure I sounded irritated.) He leaned against my growing tummy and said they were happy tears. My heart fell to pieces. Happy tears!!!! What 5 yod cries happy tears and understands what they are? He's so unique. We are often told at church that he answers questions in the sunday school that most kids have no clue about. He gets comments all the time on the way he prays. He picks stuff up during the sermon that even I miss while I am sitting there (maybe I need to bring a coloroing book. HA!!!) He's just a unique little boy. I have no doubt in my mind that when He accept Christ a year ago that it was true and sincere. The Spirit resides in the heart of that little boy and He's going to take him great places.
I know that I all mom's feel this way at some point or another. My ds doesn't have anything over the next little boy. But he is MY ds. And he's going places. :)
For his mommy time this afternoon he asked if we could do a bible study on being a pastor. He's always talking about being a pastor and I believe he probably will be. So I picked a couple of passages from 1 Timothy to read to him. He asked if tomorrow we could read a Bible story about a pastor in the Bible. Umm. Well, who could we read about? I am telling my dh this story and he's looking at me as if I lost my mind for not immediately remembering one of the most important pastors, PAUL!!!! We'll read about Paul.
And so we will.
I forgot to mention what I learned about my ds. He's just like me!!! He needs, more than anything, to hear words of affirmation spoken to him. I am not a big fan of Christian psychology but I do believe there is some merit to the whole love languages books that are out there. He needs to hear that mom loves him. He needs to hear that mommy affirms his position as a child of God. He needs hear that mommy believes he will do big things. And He needs to hear most of all that God loves him and has big plans for his life. He's going to use my ds.
I won my ds heart this afternoon. And then I filled his little tummy.
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Sep. 26, 2006 - Attacked?
I had an experience today that I am not sure will go into words very well. But I will try because I want to try and work some of this out in writing (and what better way to do that than on a blog. HA!!!)
At some point in recent months I have mentioned on a yahoo group.that my family and I are now attending a church plant in the Dallas area. I would prefer to keep this ministry out of this particular blog though. We were attending a Bible church for a while but we eventually moved on. It took us a long time to find a church we really liked and that fit our beliefs. A missionary mentor friend of ours mentioned that this ministry might be something that would fit our family. Great!! But there was not one near our area. Bummer!!
About a year later we just happen to check their website again and they were beginning plans to plant a church in our area. Yea!!!! We checked into what their statement of faith and it lined up with ours as well. We began attending this church one year ago this coming weekend. It was also the same weekend they moved from a small hotel business room to the school where we currently meet on the weekend. So this weekend we all celebrate our one year anniversary. It's grown tremendously for a little church that meets in a school. My dh really likes it. But I am struggling.
The church is very sound doctrinally. Grace is the central message. For someone that has struggled with the meaning of grace all my life it's been such a refreshing place to be.
This afternoon I received an email from a precious woman who has obviously had some issues with another church in this ministry. I was sad for her and can totally empathize with her experience (whatever it may have been.) We didn't recieve the best of care in the Bible church we were attending either. It left us churchless and untrusting for a very long time. My dh has finally broken through that. I am still struggling.
This email was very short but it had an newsletter attached to it entitled "Should I leave my church?" It was in the form of a question and answer deal. The question relayed information that strongly fit one of the leaders in our brotherhood of churches but there were no names mentioned. I knew who they were talking about because it made specific reference to a book this man has written. I honestly got to that point and stopped reading.
I was pretty angry. It wasn't the kind of anger where someone rebukes you, you know they are right, but you feel anger at first anyway. No, this anger was more the kind that questions why this person choose me. It was anger because I already struggle to trust the church as it is. This was going to make things VERY hard on me. And I have been wrestling with portions of my faith recently. WHY NOW? I believe this person was sincere in their concern for me. But I was mad and scared at the same time. Legalism is a real struggle for me and I have prayed for a very long time to break it in me. This church had begun to lead me in a way that I could break free from the legalism. But now I could feel that legalism and fear creeping up again.
I didn't know what to do or say. Knowing that my dh is much more theologically sound and more discerning than I am (as well as my spritualhead and protector) I forwarded the email to him and told him simply that I was speechless and on the verge of tears. You see, I have been struggling to even want to go to church. We missed again this weekend. The weekend before we left because I was sick (ut it was gone once I got home. It's was kind of a weird experience.) This email didn't help the fact that I struggling to trust ANY church. Now there was doubt AGAIN in my mind. Just as I was beginning to break loose some of the chains Satan has entrapped me in regarding the church in general, this email shattered any freedom I had gained.
My dh called me and asked very kindly to allow him to handle this. I am pregnant and he doesn't want me upset. I have real issues with my liver during my pregnancies. If my liver gets overloading physically and emotionally then I will have problems that will eventually put my baby in danger. "Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools." (Eccl 7:9) Did you know that anger resides specifically in the liver? Considering the fact that last night I began the early stages of itchy feet and hands, I don't need more junk to cloud the works. My dh is protective of me. . .and I treasure that. He's what my father never was to me. :) And he did handle it. He sent a very corgial email asking that there be no more contact regarding this matter. He explained our position on our church.
The outcome of this has been used for good in my life. I have come to realize that issues with the church are my own fault. I don't trust the church but that doesn't mean they are untrustworthy. What it means is that I going to have to let my guard down and allow these beautiful people to love me. I am going to have to trust the Titus 2 women who are eager to lead me. I need them to lead me. But I have been too prideful to let them in. I cried out to God this afternoon to forgive my attitude toward the church. But I know that He's going to have to change my heart. I can't make these changes on the outside. I must trust Him to lead and guide me. And trust is operatice word because I have no clue what to do going forward.
My dh has taken this off my shoulders. He won't even allow me to read the response he received back from this person. No biggie. If I really knew the response I would have been up all night thinking about it. He knows ME. Isn't that what a husband should do? Know his wife so intimately that he knows the things that will hinder her walk. This would have definately been a issue with me.
I guess the words did finally come. This was a description of how God used my afternoon to shape and mold me. I questioned at first whether this person was really led by the Spirit to email me. She said she's been praying to try and figure out whether she should or not. I respect that. But God didn't use it the same way she probably expected. And I hope if any hurt was felt on her end that God will use it to shape and mold her. And I pray more than anything that she will find healing from her past hurts and the bitterness it has left.
I am pretty tired after my day. My ds and I also had a very emotional day as well. I am going to write about that tomorrow because it was just such a treasure in my heart. Or maybe I'll write tonight. LOL!!!! Nonetheless, I am pretty tired.
God Bless
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Sep. 25, 2006 - Honey, get me the shotgun!!!!
I am not a big fan of guns. Never have been. And I may sit on the conservative side of party lines but I do not support alot of the what the NRA stands for. That isn't to say that I don't respect a persons right to own a gun. But I think they take things too far. However, after this morning, I may change my mind. :) Let me explain.
God has a very interesting sense of humor. I have been praying for help to get up early in the morning. It seems that whether my alarm goes off at 5am or not, I wake up. But if I don't go to bed early, that waking up doesn't just happen. God has to help me. The alarm doesn't do any good anymore and He knows it. I just hit snooze and go back to sleep. He must send other means to get me out of bed.
This morning is was an owl. Yes, that's right. An owl.
(I imagine this probably what he looked like.)
We live in a suburban neighborhood with a resident owl in a small patch of trees behind the local school that is across the street. He must have been very hungry this morning AT 5AM!!!!! He perched himself on a neihbors tree or house across the street and hooted for what seemed like forever. URGH!!!!! Because of all my travel planning yesterday I got in bed late again. So getting up at 5am was not my idea of fun. At one point I thought the owl was gone but I could hear him in the distance. He came back. And I really hope his breakfast gives him heartburn or indigestion later in the day. (Has anyone seen the cat?)
This has been happening for weeks now. Not the owl. The waking up. It seems God will just simply wake me between 4:30 and 5am. Which is coincidently the time I have been praying for help to get up. I guess He's taking my prayer seriously. Of course, I have also awakened at the same time every night with my other pregnancies. It's also the same time (literally) that my newborns would wake in the night to nurse or to have a bottle. That doesn't bode well for me though considering I use my nursing babies as my birth control for the first half of their year. It's a good thing we cosleep for the first few months. Hopefully they will take advantage of the plentiful harvest infront of them and nurse like crazy. I won't notice. I sleep through most of it. LOL!!!!!
No, I don't plan to shoot the owl. But I do plan to talk to God about His methods of waking me up. Now, I must go take some Tylenol to get rid of the headache I got from waking up too early.
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