My oldest dd and I attended a meet and greet for 6-7 year old girls through our homeschool group this past weekend. It was really alot of fun. I got to know some of the women I had never met before (there are over 200 families in my homeschool group.) My dd also got to know some of the girls she'd seen at park days and field trips. And it was fun to be around other mom's and just talk school (without judgement.)
There was one precious mother there that is heavy on my heart. She admitted to us that she had been on a job interview during the week. She has an only dd who is in 1st grade. She was really frustrated with getting school organized and didn't seem to think she could get it all together anymore. She had been pulling curriculum for her dd from all different directions which is very tough to do as a first time homeschool mom.
We all tried to encouraged her not to give up. One woman told her that she remembered how hard first grade was with her dd who was now in 3rd grade work. She also suggested a complete curriculum that did everything for her. Another mom confessed her struggles with schooling an only child as well. I mentioned to her that it took me a couple of years before I "felt" like I had it all together (which I don't.) But I could tell her mind was made up. She was very excited about the job. It would be as an assistant to a professional organizer. She even mentioned that she felt she could learn the business from this woman and then strike out on her own. Her dh told her to do what was best for her.
Why am I writing about this? Because I want to encourage ALL mom's who are discouraged in this marathon NOT to give it up. Whether you have an only child, many children, can't get organized, are just starting out, or have been at it for a while . . . .Don't give up.
If you are feeling overwhelmed take a step back and figured out why. Here are a few ideas things I have evaluated in the past when I did feel liking throwing in the towel:
1. Are you having alone time with the Lord everyday? Oh, that is so important. You can't function in your day with having that time. Find the best way to do your queit time that will lead you to the foot of the cross. Don't try to copy cat what others are doing. And make sure you are in the Word daily. Devotional books are great but they don't put you deep in the Word. They put you deep into what others are learning on their own. Laines Letters has alot to say about studying God's Word and she's been an inspiration to me.
Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in our truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.
Psalm 25:4-5
2. Are you training you children to be obediant to you? This is the hardest thing to learn and has been a real struggle for me. I know that most of the time when I feel like giving up I will realize that I want to give up because my children are out of control. They know how to obey but I have let things slide. I usually have to take a week to get things back under control. I consiser our weeks off as school as well. They are learning. . .it's just not what the state would define as education. And seek the Lord for wisdom in this area. I have looked to far too many books and authors for advice in how to discipline my children. Be very discerning in what you read.
3. How is your household? Are you keeping up with basic maintenance on your home? No, I am not talking about having a Better Homes And Garden home. Gag!!!!! You should see my house. We have awfully pretty art on our walls. . .but it was drawn by my 3 yod and my toddler (who has recently discovered that he can all mark on the walls.) My carpet is stained and I discovered a cobweb the other day. BUT. . .I do clean the essentials every week. Young mother, I know, it's hard. Is there anyway that dh can help you on the weekend? We finally split our house in half. We clean one half one week and the other the next. It takes us about an hour and their are two of us to train the children in these chores. Eventually I will take this back as my job during the week. But my dh felt it was better for me to concentrate on school, basic chores, and our diet.
I would also ask you how involved are your children in helping you around the house? Is your house set up where they can help you? Here are few tips that I have discovered for our house:
a. I bought very cheap small laundry baskets for all my children. When the laundry is folded they carry their basket up stairs to be put away. Even my 3 yod can carry her basket.
b. I trained my two oldest in how to fold and put away laundry. Oh, and my oldest are 7 and 5 yod. :)
c. My cleaning and wash cloths are colored coded by their use and rooms. White washcloths are used for cleaning. My kitchen cloths are red. My face cloths to clean baby off after dinner are black, and any other colored wash cloth goes in my bathroom for bathing. This has enabled me to train my 3 yod in how to fold the washclothes and help me put them away.
d. The best thing I did in my kitchen was move all our everyday dishes to a lower cabinet so my children could put most of the dishes away out of the dishwasher. My oldest start emptying the dishwasher at age 4. She's now learning how to load the dishwasher. (Oh, another very helpful thing with younger children is to invest in plastic dishes. I found a bunch on sale at Target at the end of summer.)
e. I order Managers of Their Chores and it's been the best invest in time and money I have ever had. You must check out the book.
f. I found a safe all-purpose cleaner (here and scroll down) and trained my two oldest in how to use it safely. They help me clean the table and the high chair off each morning. We also use it in the bathrooms. It smells so good and kills germs much more effectively and safer than toxic cleaners from the store.
g. I color code my children. I wrote another blog on this a while back if you want to check it out. Color Coding Younger Children
4. Are you requiring your children (and YOU) to spend some alone time everyday? This is so important for rejuvination. It doesn't happen everyday in our household but as a general rule it does. Momma needs it. My children need time away from each other or they fight more. It allows them to pursue their own interests as well. This is becoming a very important point as I begin to train my children in how to do handicrafts without me. For our younger children, they get a good nap in a house that is quiet. I attempt to give everyone about 30 minutes to an hour alone. We do our major read alouds in the afternoon during the first part of my toddlers nap.
These are just some ideas to help you step back and get a grip on what seems like chaos in the home. I think I have written this mostly to younger moms. But I am kind of right there with you. I have to remind myself of these things periodically. You are running a marathon but a sprint. You have until they are at least 18 yod to educate them. But you don't have much time to win their hearts.
If you need some refreshing ideas about home educating your children, I would suggest either Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson OR Teaching the Trivium by Harvey and Laurie Bluedorn. These both run very close together as my favorite homeschool books. Teaching the Trivium will challenge your view of educating younger children. It's taken me two years to finally see that perhaps they are right. And when I finally relaxed my school to follow some of their suggestions. . .everyone started having a better time. Even my reluctant learner is starting to come around.
Don't give up on this journey, sweet mom. There is reward in the end. But it is often an uphill battle to get there. Turn to your sweet Savior and place your burdens at His feet. Take on His burden, for He says it in light.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
Find what will allow you to know your children first and then educate them. That is most important. You will never successfully educate your children if you don't know them and win their hearts first.
"And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”
Malachi 4:6
If you need some refreshing ideas on winning the hearts of your children, I encourage you to check out Keeping our Children's Hearts: Our Vital Priority by Steve and Teri Maxwell. And if you are really in need of encouragement as a homeschool mom, Teri Maxwell's book Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit is awesome.
This is one of my favorite passages and I have turned to it alot during the time when I wanted to give up.
But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. "For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I have given Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in your place. "Since you are precious in My sight, Since you are honored and I love you, I will give other men in your place and other peoples in
exchange for your life.
"Do not fear, for I am with you;
Isaiah 42: 1-5
God Bless.
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