Princess Croc Toria (Lady Toria the Teaser): Wildlife Warrior and Soldier of the Cross- It's all for HIM

 

 

As I sat down on my bed, my eyes locked on my bare feet and I noticed how dirty they were. My hand reached up and gently fingered a small curl that had escaped my pigtails, and my mind wandered back, years ago, to dirty feet I had when I was a little girl.

 

I smile as I picture the little girl, running barefoot on grass and dirt alike with her wavy pigtails streaming behind her, without a care or pain in the world.

 

Oh, how things change.

 

My eyes lost their sparkle as I continued to look at my dirty toes. Today was the first day in weeks, months, that I had finally been able to go barefoot, with my toes eager to feel the soft grass between them while me and my brother did yard work. Oh, how I longed to run barefoot again, without a care or pain in the world as days of old! Today I tried...and some of the times as my toes struck the warm dirt, I couldn't feel it.

 

My chin sinks to my hand and rests there, thinking of olden days gone by. The little girl that climbed in bed with dirt on her feet and smudges on her face, the little girl who used to rub the grime away on her blanket...those days were gone. Long gone.

 

This winter I realized my feet weren't the calloused pink of other winters past. They were a strange purple...the toes almost an ashy gray. Red welts rose on the dies of my feels, and painful was each step taken. I didn't think much of it at first. I was born a fighter and I just kind of sucked it up...until mom realized that my feet were probably in serious condition. A trip to the doctor made my heart sink. No more barefoot toes. Summer or winter alike I would go barefoot in the house, but this disease (it isn't contagious though) I had changed everything. I didn't have good circulation, and the red, painful welts caused my blood cells to contract and tighten up, unable to deliver blood to my feet. The only thing I could do was keep my feet warm, the doc told us, and it should go away by summer, BUT...it'll be back next winter. And so far it hasn't gone ways this summer, either.

 

Pushing my will aside, I wore socks most every day this winter; sometimes up to two or three pairs because my feet would go numb. The days of going barefoot were in the past...gone. But I am a fighter, and the first really warm day in a long time found me outside...barefoot.

 

A sigh escapes my lips. The little girl I used to be was able to feel the earth with her her cute little feet. Now...my feet usually are so cold they're numb, and the purple and gray splotches cover the once dainty toes. I secretly knew they would never be the same again. Tears threaten to fall as I think of the "what ifs". What if this disease gets so bad that it'll be too painful to walk? What if, now that I have the same circulation problem in my hands, I'll never be able to play guitar again? Those feet that were quick to run to help now slow, those hands that were quick to reach out take a little more time to do the job.

 

This winter has taught me a lot, I muse as my fingers trace the dirt that refuses to come off. Not only about how blood cell contractions can change your life, but how sin can dramatically change your life, too.

 

You see, we're all born with a pure, beautiful heart. But when sin comes in, it stops the truth, just like my blood cells contract and stops the blood in my feet. Sin turns our hearts gray, starving our souls from much-needed truth. Sin turns our hearts ugly, no longer beautiful. There's no such thing as a "little sin"; it rapidly takes control of our hearts and it hurts our hearts and God. Sin wants to take control of all of us, but we must stand our guard against it!!!

 

Perhaps one day I'll feel the grass again with feet no longer purple...but I doubt it. I'm realizing that I'll just need to be content in whatever circumstance I'm in. And for now I'm just content that I went barefoot today...and got my toes dirty.

Princess Croc Toria (Lady Toria the Teaser): Wildlife Warrior and Soldier of the Cross- It's all for HIM

 

 

As I sat down on my bed, my eyes locked on my bare feet and I noticed how dirty they were. My hand reached up and gently fingered a small curl that had escaped my pigtails, and my mind wandered back, years ago, to dirty feet I had when I was a little girl.

 

I smile as I picture the little girl, running barefoot on grass and dirt alike with her wavy pigtails streaming behind her, without a care or pain in the world.

 

Oh, how things change.

 

My eyes lost their sparkle as I continued to look at my dirty toes. Today was the first day in weeks, months, that I had finally been able to go barefoot, with my toes eager to feel the soft grass between them while me and my brother did yard work. Oh, how I longed to run barefoot again, without a care or pain in the world as days of old! Today I tried...and some of the times as my toes struck the warm dirt, I couldn't feel it.

 

My chin sinks to my hand and rests there, thinking of olden days gone by. The little girl that climbed in bed with dirt on her feet and smudges on her face, the little girl who used to rub the grime away on her blanket...those days were gone. Long gone.

 

This winter I realized my feet weren't the calloused pink of other winters past. They were a strange purple...the toes almost an ashy gray. Red welts rose on the dies of my feels, and painful was each step taken. I didn't think much of it at first. I was born a fighter and I just kind of sucked it up...until mom realized that my feet were probably in serious condition. A trip to the doctor made my heart sink. No more barefoot toes. Summer or winter alike I would go barefoot in the house, but this disease (it isn't contagious though) I had changed everything. I didn't have good circulation, and the red, painful welts caused my blood cells to contract and tighten up, unable to deliver blood to my feet. The only thing I could do was keep my feet warm, the doc told us, and it should go away by summer, BUT...it'll be back next winter. And so far it hasn't gone ways this summer, either.

 

Pushing my will aside, I wore socks most every day this winter; sometimes up to two or three pairs because my feet would go numb. The days of going barefoot were in the past...gone. But I am a fighter, and the first really warm day in a long time found me outside...barefoot.

 

A sigh escapes my lips. The little girl I used to be was able to feel the earth with her her cute little feet. Now...my feet usually are so cold they're numb, and the purple and gray splotches cover the once dainty toes. I secretly knew they would never be the same again. Tears threaten to fall as I think of the "what ifs". What if this disease gets so bad that it'll be too painful to walk? What if, now that I have the same circulation problem in my hands, I'll never be able to play guitar again? Those feet that were quick to run to help now slow, those hands that were quick to reach out take a little more time to do the job.

 

This winter has taught me a lot, I muse as my fingers trace the dirt that refuses to come off. Not only about how blood cell contractions can change your life, but how sin can dramatically change your life, too.

 

You see, we're all born with a pure, beautiful heart. But when sin comes in, it stops the truth, just like my blood cells contract and stops the blood in my feet. Sin turns our hearts gray, starving our souls from much-needed truth. Sin turns our hearts ugly, no longer beautiful. There's no such thing as a "little sin"; it rapidly takes control of our hearts and it hurts our hearts and God. Sin wants to take control of all of us, but we must stand our guard against it!!!

 

Perhaps one day I'll feel the grass again with feet no longer purple...but I doubt it. I'm realizing that I'll just need to be content in whatever circumstance I'm in. And for now I'm just content that I went barefoot today...and got my toes dirty.