The Liberal/Democrat views of me

• Nov. 27, 2009 - WAAAAAIT FOR ME!!!! Darn, I missed the subway heading for Atlantis...

• Nov. 11, 2009 - Yeech.

• Oct. 14, 2009 - oh.

• Oct. 14, 2009 - The grammar behind the Declaration of Independence

A fiddler lives above me semi-colon.   :  Ya see em? No? I'll try again.    : Still nothing? One more time. : NO? HERE! :

Comments ( 0 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• Oct. 13, 2009 - The wonderful mystery that is life.

I thinking about picking up a hobby. Maybe I'll be a bee-keeper. Or better yet a bee-impersonator. I hear they get great health care. 'Specially the bees from different countries. (HA HA! It's funny, cause you guys think the health care plan sucks!!!! HA HA! BEES!!!!!) I need to perfect my bee-accent. I've always imagined bee-hives as really sticky milkmen. Except they don't get paid, and a lot of them die every winter. Oh, wait. That's exactly what a milkman is. I knew a milkman once. He never told me his name, so I called him "Milkman" and he called me "You.". We didn't see eye to eye. Probably because he had an eye patch, and I like to move left and right and up and down at a moments notice for fun/to honor claw machines. Also, because he didn't think math was an actual thing. This started when I asked how much soy milk I got a month. He threw down glass jug of chocolate almond milk and cursed at the moon (It was about 8:00 AM, but he said he didn't believe in the sun either. Far be it from me to shoot down his thinking). I think he'll feel better when he receives a jug of fresh honey from me and my bee-buds. Unless I get robot bees. In which case, he'll get a greenish liquid full of microscopic iPods, which you can't eat or put on toast, but it will play songs with fairly good quality. I hope my robot bees won't gain human emotion. That would suck worst then a giant Swiss vacuum cleaner (And you KNOW those are of great calibar). Then it'd be like Wall-E, except I don't think any of them would get together in the end. I might just have to take precautions. Like a bear robot. Or pepper spray. Or living in a hamster ball that has an oxygen tank that Milkman can change every day. But what if my robot bees freeze in the winter? I'll have to buy/make 50,00 robo-bee sweaters, plus one for me in fall colors (I'm not a winter color person; clashes with my complexion.) This is too complicated. I'll take up white-collar crime instead. Yeeeeeeah. That'll work. I wonder how I'll sell all those shirts though. I know lots of people need them for tuxedos...but Homecoming season is almost over. And a lot of people use different colors instead of white. Maybe I'll turn to blue-collar crime. Or tuxedo-t-shirt with a collar crime. Or join a bowling league. Maybe I can get the robo-bees to live in my bowling ball so I can cheat. Milkman can keep my score for me. Well, that might not work. He can provide drinks. I WANT MY IPODS TO MARRY SO I CAN HAVE SHUFFLE BABIES!

Comments ( 0 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• Oct. 12, 2009 - Unigentics

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Once again, I find myself being strangled to death by a shirt. To be more specific, this one. Why am I being strangled? I got in a turf war with the neighboring mob. My mob is called coPy riGhTs, and theirs is called tRadE mArk, so you see how tension started to rise. Every blue moon we have a day-and-thirty-six-hours-of-feasting, an event signifying our relationship. No one fights, and we all make marry for a day-and-thirty-six-hours, usually feasting. The place of this event is a little farm on the edge of the city, owned by the mayor, but he doesn't go out there much. If we clean up enough, he never calls in the break-in. Usually we sacrifice one of the Mayor's cows, and then eat up the neighboring farm's vegetables. I'm been trying to petition against the Cow-sacrificing, but my clan won't hear of it, and the other clan thinks it's a great idea. I don't know. Maybe next year. This shall be a short post because I have to fill a squirt-gun full of a cocktail of dopamine, histamine, octopamine, tetrodoxin, taurine, tyramine, 5-hydroxytryptamine,  hyaluronidase tryptamine, and acetylcholine while trying to aim for my attacker's mouth. Tomorrow we're filling the mob-leader's car full of ferrets. Hopefully some will burrow into the car's interior before he notices. Next week we're planing on tricking them into preforming one of Shakespeare's plays. That'll show 'em. IS THIS A HAT, OR A PAIR OF PRETTY UNDERPANTIES?

Comments ( 2 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• Oct. 9, 2009 - Gosh darn it, you guys.

You know what? I love you guys. Yeah, that's right. Every. Darn. One of you. Want to know why? Because you guys are just awesome. Every. Darn. One of you. Because you always give me a good chuckle. It makes me smile when someone says I'm wrong, or that I'm insane or stupid. And I'm not being sarcastic. You guys want a hug? Here's a hug for all of you. HUG. I don't care if you're a republican, democrat, liberal, robot, live in an enchanted castle full of magical objects that talk and wish to be human again, are purple, or can knit really well (Actually, scratch that. If you can knit well, I will have some ill will towards you. Why? Because I can't knit to save my soul. Darn you and your awesome home-made scarves. You make my blood boil because you made your own socks). By the way Laura, 1. Thank you for your comment. and 2. I CAN be stupid and insane. As a matter of fact, I make an effort to do so twice daily. For example: Because of Occam's razor, I believe that every tree in every forest that gets knocked down is because of unicorns and ghosts. 〈E〉 = 1/2 ∑  Ε                      n     n means the virtual photons are unaffected, and doesn't constitute the field, and generate a net force. Canada is great at making salsa, and they should continue clubbing baby seals to death. If I told you there was a teapot floating around our solar system, and it was too small and faraway to see, but however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, you COULD prove me wrong. why should simplicity be considered in evaluating the plausibility of hypotheses? It shouldn't. Because science uses a magic 8 ball to decide whether or not a theory is viable. That was my first time today, so I'd better make a real effort to attain my daily dose of vacuous insanity.

Comments ( 2 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• Oct. 7, 2009 - HAHA!

The new free health care is the best plan ever. Also, gun control is a really good idea. I also think that there should be laws saying teachers must teach evolution in schools. George W. Bush was like the worst president ever. FEATHERS = RUFFLED! TAP DANCE WITH ME, WINTER FRIENDS!!

Comments ( 4 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• Oct. 7, 2009 - The health care problems

I AM A MASTER OF DISGUISE!!!

Comments ( 0 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• Oct. 5, 2009 - WHY? WHY?

Many people pay too much for things. Except taxes. You can never pay too much taxes. If you have ever bought 11 dollars worth of soap, and all you got was 2 cups worth of soap, you would understand what I mean. I haven't done that yet, but that just reflects on how I understand the universe better than everyone else, and how I don't buy my own soap. I buy food, and clothes. But not soap. Why? I'll tell you why. People GIVE me soap. How do I do it? I'll tell you. IN TEN EASY STEPS. Step 1. Impersonate me.* Step 2. Buy a boat # Step 3. Read every chat-room's rules of conduct that you can get your greedy little mouse/tract pad hands on. Step 4. Any say the Pledge of Allengiance in pig-latin. Step 5. Send me your soap. ** Step 6. Ask for soap. Step 8. Ignore 7. *** Step 9. Require an injury that would give you the appearence of a pirate. **** Step 10. Join the Canadian Army. They need you more than I do. ***** * If you do, I'll hunt you down, and steal all your soap. And feed you to my chinchilla, FREEdrick (He's a democrat, but also drivels into communism on his off-days) **Via the internet. Emails work best-est *** Because everyone hates you seven. You look too much like an upside down L. And we all know that things that are upside down are like honing signals to demons.  And demons make lemonade go sour. I AM AMERICAN. I DRINK SWEET LEMONADE, AND HAVE NO TIES WITH SWITZERLAND! **** Why? Because. Pirates are generally dirty. Thus, your need for soap would disapate. As long as you actually become a pirate. # THAT'S WHERE THE BOAT COME IN! ***** Because you aren't George Clooney. Mr. Clooney won't be joining the Canadian Army any time soon, so everyone else has to. MY COFFEE MUG IS A UPS MUG! I'M NOT A UPS DUDE, SO RIDDLE ME THIS: WHY DID MY CAT LEAVE ME WHEN I BOUGHT A CACTUS?! THIS ISN'T MY CAT. WHY? I DON'T KNOW. WHY CAN'T YOU BE MY CAT??? I drink coffee with my UPS mug. (SNUGGLES! Why'd you have to leave me?! WHY?!! WHY?!!!?). Actually I don't. I'm an fur seal. We don't drink coffee. We drink salt water and trout. I can swim pretty fast. I work at the zoo, but I'm a part time bouncer at a club called "floRIDA". The people there pay we well, but I don't think they can look past me flippers. Humans...jeez. I remember once when my seal-grandmother warned me about designer dogs, and how people put them into little sweaters and carried them like kings around in little totes. I think the old girl was a few sardines short of a school, but then again I have noticed how many people have been wearing fur coats made of snakeskin. SEE HOW MASTERFULLY HE JUMPS AND FLIES THROUGH THE AIR?

Comments ( 0 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• Oct. 5, 2009 - ONce again I find myself chuckling at Michael Moore

I like Michael Moore films. Their informative, and usually have funny quips at the system.  [I own a lava lamp.] I recently watched a film called The Yes Men (Not at all to be confused with Yes Man, a movie where Jim Carrey annoys me and and learns to play the guitar) with Michael Moore in it. It's a good documentary, though be very careful: It would probably be rated R because of the language. It's about dudes who dress up with business men representing major companies, and they say weird things, or tell the truth about the company, or just be crazy doing things the company would not want. They have a website that isn't rife with curses, and I think you would enjoy it. Seriously, just type in Yes Men. You'll find it. Their coming out with a new one, which I hope to see.  By the way, I REALLY want to see Michael Moore's new film. CHECK IT OUT HERE! CLICK ME IF YOU'RE REPUBLICAN! (If you're a democrat, chances are you've already seen the trailer) You know you want a lava lamp.

Comments ( 1 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• Oct. 2, 2009 - By the way... .

• Oct. 2, 2009 - I wonder what will happen.......

Anyone see 9 yet? I haven't. I want to, though. I like hobbits, so I thought I might as well give it a chance. Though I protest the anti-machine views it projects. It sounds like an evil Wall-E. Tee-hee. I hope it may come off as a "Here's the near future, BUT you can change it! IF YOU RECYCLE! AND DO VARIOUS OTHER THINGS TO HELP OUT! =D". That would be a nice ending. One of the 9-ragdoll things dies, they fix everything, and then that flashes on screen. My kind of movie. Recently, it was Hug A Vegetarian day. Last Saturday, to be more precise. I got hugs. I Hug A Vegetarian day. Many people ask me why I believe in Evolution. It's because I have faith [Faith...bad choice of words because you guys will probably call me an atheist for my beliefs.] in most of science, and how it works. Actually, I'm going back to what I said in the brackets. Why am I an atheist? And how does that support your argument? It gets me kind of angry when people say that, because it reflects badly on themselves. It says "You can't believe in God because of what you believe.". That's wrong. It says "You obviously hate the creator, thus are going to straight to the devil, because of YOUR BELIEFS." That's almost as bad as the Great Cleanse in England in the late 1500s via Mary I. And the witch hunt. Both of which sucked. And showed exactly how far human's will willing to go to show how much they hated people who didn't think, act dress, marry, eat, drink, and raise their kids EXACTLY THE WAY THEY DID. "Let's all live in a world were no one if different. Let's kill those who are in any way contrastive to us, so we can all enjoy our symmetrical, undistinct world." Anyone us hearing that in a German accent, and seeing swastika's? Let's blame the way this world is heading: Someone set the ball rolling, they taught their kids, they taught their kids, they taught us. [Or shall I say, Disney taught us. Curse you High School Musical. Just kidding...or am I?] Here's a picture of nazi zombies. A little glimpse of the "perfect" "future" world. I'll be eating granola and tofu while watching cool horror movies on a bean-bag chair while that "happens". Oh, and you can still call me an atheist all you want.* P.S. The quotation marks " " were put there to say, this won't happen, but still. You guys need to lighten up, and starting calling me a God-hater. *No, you can't.** ** Unless you grow a Hitler 'stash and are a zombie. MY BEAN-BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT YOUR BEAN-BAG, MY BEAN-BAG!!!!

Comments ( 4 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• Jul. 3, 2009 - Super quick post for odd reasons.

• Jul. 3, 2009 - Howdy, Earthlings

I've always wanted to use that as a title. As always, ignore the title. Alright, my last post was teetering on the "Polite Line", but I needed some controversy! I'm not going to apologize for my views, though I will apologize for the way I presented them. But...that doesn't mean I'm going to stop making rant-posts every now and then! Alrighty...continuing...on to THEDEBATERS! (Link- The Debaters ) Cool place, check it out. Blog that is awesome! I'm not going to even tell you about. You will have to go there yourself to unearth the MYSTERIES OF IT ALL. That should be proceeded by evil laughter. Just use your imagination. Anyway, it's a cool-homeschooled-blog, and it's WHERE IT'S AT! What does that phrase mean anyway? Okay, second chance to go there Link- The Debaters It's AWESOME!!! Well, I was thinking about the comments of the last post I did (The almost but not rude one. ) And wow. When properly persuaded ( or agitated enough by things you believe to be lies ) you guys sure know how to speak your opinions in a polite way! Hurray for all of you! (Non-sarcastically, by the way. I mean that Hurray). Okay, here's something to take to the bank! (Cliche, I looked it up, and it means: Please contemplate my arguments against your delusions. Hmmm... rude dictionary. There's waaaay more polite versions of that. What's up with dictionary's these days? I'm going to say it means "Here are my thoughts, that are different from yours, and none of us have to be right or wrong, but still here they are." much more round about and polite. ). In my response, why do you care? The people who believe in global warming don't want to send a nuclear weapon into the sun. We just want you to recycle, maybe lay off the meat every now and again, and a few other simple things that would harm no one. (Like solar panels. If you see a solar panel attack a guy, then you can leave me a comment) If global warming isn't real (And global warming is real, and man-made), all the things we would have done would at least save some money and energy. Here's the thing though: Why do you care so much about it? Why are you so quick to prove that I'm wrong? Why does it make you angry that global warming is (According to me) man-made? Obvoiusly you're passionate about the subject, but why? If it wasn't real, we would just be insaniods and alarmists, but we wouldn't (And aren't) hurting anyone. But global warming IS real (According to me, and....maybe the president). So, why do you care? Please comment and tell me if I was perspicuous enough. This was a short little thing, but maybe later I'll make a prolegomenon out of it. Thanks for reading!

Comments ( 4 ) :: Post A Comment! :: Permanent Link

• May. 5, 2009 - "Rants" is a weird word.

• Apr. 1, 2009 - The statement of the day.

• Mar. 31, 2009 - The Welcome Post.