The Liberal/Democrat views of me

• Oct. 13, 2009 - The wonderful mystery that is life.

I thinking about picking up a hobby.
Maybe I'll be a bee-keeper.
Or better yet a bee-impersonator.
I hear they get great health care.
'Specially the bees from different countries. (HA HA! It's funny, cause you guys think the health care plan sucks!!!! HA HA! BEES!!!!!)
I need to perfect my bee-accent.
I've always imagined bee-hives as really sticky milkmen.
Except they don't get paid, and a lot of them die every winter.
Oh, wait. That's exactly what a milkman is.
I knew a milkman once. He never told me his name, so I called him "Milkman" and he called me "You.".
We didn't see eye to eye.
Probably because he had an eye patch, and I like to move left and right and up and down at a moments notice for fun/to honor claw machines.
Also, because he didn't think math was an actual thing.
This started when I asked how much soy milk I got a month.
He threw down glass jug of chocolate almond milk and cursed at the moon (It was about 8:00 AM, but he said he didn't believe in the sun either. Far be it from me to shoot down his thinking).
I think he'll feel better when he receives a jug of fresh honey from me and my bee-buds.
Unless I get robot bees.
In which case, he'll get a greenish liquid full of microscopic iPods, which you can't eat or put on toast, but it will play songs with fairly good quality.
I hope my robot bees won't gain human emotion.
That would suck worst then a giant Swiss vacuum cleaner (And you KNOW those are of great calibar).
Then it'd be like Wall-E, except I don't think any of them would get together in the end.
I might just have to take precautions.
Like a bear robot. Or pepper spray. Or living in a hamster ball that has an oxygen tank that Milkman can change every day.
But what if my robot bees freeze in the winter?
I'll have to buy/make 50,00 robo-bee sweaters, plus one for me in fall colors (I'm not a winter color person; clashes with my complexion.)
This is too complicated.
I'll take up white-collar crime instead.
Yeeeeeeah. That'll work.
I wonder how I'll sell all those shirts though.
I know lots of people need them for tuxedos...but Homecoming season is almost over.
And a lot of people use different colors instead of white.
Maybe I'll turn to blue-collar crime.
Or tuxedo-t-shirt with a collar crime.
Or join a bowling league.
Maybe I can get the robo-bees to live in my bowling ball so I can cheat.
Milkman can keep my score for me.
Well, that might not work.
He can provide drinks.