A good friend of mine wrote a really honest, and thought provoking post regarding purity. So thought provoking, in fact, that as I began to comment, it became my next blog post. I encourage you to read her post (reference to "God's Design For Sex") as well, so that you may understand my commentary. The following was my response:
I don't know how I could've missed this post. You know that I totally agree w/you, and you are right to start praying over this issue now. Many times as parents we miss this key component to preparing our children for the unrelenting battle that lies ahead. You can NOT start praying soon enough for this. All Christians will have to deal w/sorting out the wrong images/lifestyle portrayals dished out by society and the media, but I will be the first to say that our boys will have it the worst. There is an all out battle for their souls and often, as moms, we don't realize how serious it really is. Husbands/fathers can usually give you some input as to how bad this battle is, but only if they are honest about their own battle. If not, they will not be able to seriously become the prayer warriors that their sons will need for the long road ahead. The worst part about the battle, that I've discovered as a woman, learning from men who are completely honest about it, is that this particular battle for men NEVER ENDS! Not to say that they cannot get it under control for the most part, and gain a greater spiritual hold in this area, but it will remain to be a battle (just maybe a lesser one, as Satan begins to realize their strength in this particular area). And as homeschooling moms, we must make sure that we don't make the mistake of thinking that since we "shelter" our children more, that they'll be ok, because it will be that much easier for Satan to sneak in and surprise us. Instead, we must take this time of shelter to make them stronger for the battle that will be ahead for them once they are out of our sight.
Have you walked through the aisles of your local Blockbuster lately, seen commercials during sporting events, or the cheerleaders at sporting events, gone in to a gas station, checked your email and noticed the ads on the sidebar, typed in a google search and had something crazy pop up in the "auto-finish" feature, or on youtube that has nothing to do with what you were searching, or simply GONE OUT IN PUBLIC during hot weather? Soon our sons will be men, doing all of these normal everyday things, and will be attacked by the wiles of Satan in ways that we as women will find hard to understand. I pray that every Christian mother/wife will have the blessing of a male figure that will honestly tell her and open her eyes to how big of battle lust really is, and how the smallest things can rouse such a wicked demon (I thank God for this very thing w/my own husband and father). Only then, can we do our part in helping them to stand....
This comment may have been more of me rambling than anything else. But I have seen it time and again now, and stand very firmly on the fight against lust for our boys. I'm not saying that our girls will not have a fight against purity as well. However being that I'm a woman, and having only had the opportunity in raising boys, I've noticed that there is a misplaced focus at times. No offense to those raising their girls up to be pure (for this is surely needed, as well), but the purity fight for men and women come from 2 completely different angles...
I plan on posting more on this subject (including book studies we've done/are doing w/our son, and most importantly scriptures that we reference/memorize w/him). But for now, I welcome those that have more experience than I, or who disagree to share your thoughts/ suggestions as well...
I'm so glad that you shared this and I am looking forward to reading further studies that ya'll have done. I know my own fight that I've had taming lust and I wholeheartedly believe it is 100 times worse for men. Men are generally visually stimulated whereas women are generally not as visually stimulated. That fact alone is one of the big differences between men and women and this fact is one reason why men have a more difficult time. Unless they literally gauge their eyes out, they will be dealing with this issue their whole life. I'm looking forward to hearing more from you about this. You should have Steve do a "guest post" about purity and boys. I miss you a lot, and we'll talk soon. See ya Friday? Love ya, Kristal
I posted on the blog you mentioned the following comment that I also wanted to share with you:
Wonderful comments. We used God's Design for Sex with our two older kids, too, largely in trying to prepare our daughter for her cycle. It's hard to teach a piece of the puzzle without the whole picture in place, you know?
Anyway, I thought so much about your comments as I look at my 11-year-old son. He dances competitively, and it doesn't take a rocket science to figure out the impact it's had on the girls involved (the make-up, the need to dress scantily and imitate groups like the Pussycat Dolls), and then the impact that being around that all the time has on him. It became full blown as he experienced his first bit of puppy love this summer. Forget the "puppy"--this was more like PIT BULL-ish in terms of intensity! The girl, his duet partner, was sweet, but unsaved; though we've tried to counsel him in some things, we are still struggling with the mandate to evangelize the family, but yet try to help him put his emotions in check. He's not getting married tomorrow, but to say the least, this experience was a wake up call.
Thanks for posting, and God bless you as you minister.
I'm a wannabe in every sense of the word. I wanna be good enough to make it to heaven, but Jesus died because I will never be. I wanna be a mom of ten living on a farm in the middle of nowhere, training my girls to honor God & their husbands, by being content, happy homemakers...yet God has seen fit to bless us with the opportunity to help rear for Him two boys (22 and 12), in the middle of suburbia ;) I wanna be a helpmate to my husband in every way possible, yet more often than not, I'm in his way, lol. I wanna be the perfect parent, that raises perfect children, yet I am constantly humbled by the fact that only He is perfect, and I must allow him to lead. I wanna be the ultimate caretaker of my temple, and the pinnacle of health to all around me, yet no amount of healthy eating/exercise keeps me from dropping to my knees often, in need of healing from the Great Physician. I could go on and on about the the things that I am trying to be, but I invite you instead to come and join me as I travel on my path toward virtue... ~Proverbs 31:10-31~
• Sep. 8, 2009 - Thanks for sharing