• Dec. 10, 2009 - Kids & Money, keeping them responsible...and a math lesson =)

I received comment from another post, about kids earning money, and teaching them how to spend it properly.  The commenter had some good points.  She brought up the fact of how fatal it would be to let a child earn large sums of $ and be allowed to spend it however they see fit.  I would definitely agree with this, especially if the child has not been taught how to manage their money properly.  I thought that I'd share a general idea of how we handle this situation (w/a child who often makes larger sums than many kids his age), in hopes that maybe some of you ladies will chip in and give more ideas as well. Before AJ started making extra money from his current yard work ventures, we (meaning my hubby, lol) paid him an allowance.  I know many families differ in how this is handled, many choosing to not give allowances at all.  Because of this, I'll go into additional detail about what I mean about "allowance."  In our household, each member is considered part of the family community.  As a part of this community, we all have certain responsibilities that must be handled, and we all share the privileges that come along w/those responsibilities.  These privileges include food, shelter, and clothing, to name a few.  They also include some perks, i.e. a share in the family finances.   Just as in the stock market, this share is subject to change, and can raise or drop drastically.  Sometimes it is nothing (as it has been as of late), sometimes it can be a couple of bucks ($1-2 when he was younger), sometimes $5-10 ($5 in more recent years, $10 say, Daddy gets a bonus of some sort).  This $ is not guaranteed if it does not exist.  This money does not determine whether or not chores are done, chores are a responsibility, allowance is a perk.  The two are not interchangeable.  One cannot say, "since I'm not getting allowance this week, I'm not doing my responsibilities."  Not an option.  These rules apply to Mom as well (though the amounts will differ a bit more, but not always, lol)  Sometimes Mom/AJ will go weeks/months w/o any allowance, but we rest assured knowing that this is a family time of dry pockets, not just an individual's. With that out of the way, I'll say how exactly he is expected to behave w/said money (whether from $5 allowance, or $30 from yard work job).  First and foremost is tithes.  AJ has known from the time he rec'd his first allowance (around 6-7yrs old) what tithes was and how to calculate 10%.   Second is savings (usually another 10-20% depending on the amt, but minimum 10%).  AJ has two containers (old coffee cans) that have designated uses for these two purposes.   My parents engraved it on my heart at a very young age to always pay God first, and I truly thank them for the fact that it became second nature, and I see the same trait in my son.  My husband and I both worked from very young ages, and learned to pay our way in life out of necessity.  Because of this, we do believe in allowing him to spend some $ on himself, as long as it is spent wisely.  So after tithes, savings, and any "bills" (library fines, repayments of "loans" from mom/dad, etc) are paid, he then places the rest of his $ in the "bank" (mom's wallet, usually) for safe keeping, save a few bucks that he'll place in his own wallet for the occasional splurge (the random piece of candy/ bag of chips in the grocery aisle).  With the $ that is put in the "bank", he gets to decide how to use it.  This sounds like it could be fatal, but in actuality it is not.  He has watched us closely in our own spending over the years, and mirrors our habits almost identically.  He puts much thought into each purchase,  looks at multiple stores, does price comparisons, gives himself time to think on it (sometimes hours, sometimes weeks/months), asks us for advice on his final decision (do you think that this is a wise choice for me to spend my $ on?), and then, finally makes (or doesn't make) the purchase.  With so much care being put into each decision.  If he decides to purchase the item, we do allow it.    Of course, just like many adults, he has felt the sting of impulse buys, the regret/forgetfulness of letting a really good deal/sale pass you by, or of purchasing something purely for looks w/o considering quality, and buyer's remorse.   But, these are few and far between.  More often than not, the purchases (and the process) bring about more of an educational opportunity than any book ever could. Case in point:  Last year, AJ had been eyeing a particular Lego Set in his monthly Lego catalogue.  Month after month, the new catalogue would come in, and there it would be, taunting him.  Because the set was pretty pricey (around $100), he kept saving and saving, and asking us if we thought it was worth it.  We did not, lol.  But as the months went by, the desire for the set did not die.  He searched local stores (Target, Walmart, Ross, etc.), and online (Ebay & Amazon, etc) for a better price, and there was none to be had.  No matter how he sliced it, it was gonna be a whopper of a purchase, if he decided to get it.  Eventually all talk of the set ceased.  He'd decided that it was just too much $.  Well, one day in November, while in Walmart,  AJ wandered through the toy section as my hubby and I chatted away.  AJ came running up to us in a frenzy w/some slurred talk of Legos.  As my eyes began to glaze over (this frenzy slurring is commonplace when the child sees all things Lego)  my hubby actually made out a few of the words that AJ was saying.   I heard DH say, "Are you sure?. "  I came back to earth and asked what was going on, and told AJ to slow down and speak clearly.  He told me that the Lego set he'd wanted a few months ago was on sale that day for $50.  Because we'd checked @ Walmart before, my hubby couldn't believe it.  So he went to check it out for himself.  Sure enough, there it was...and that got my husband to thinking... AJ only had about $30 saved up in the "bank."  He needed a loan, to take advantage of the purchase.  So we came home that night, DH and AJ hopped straight on the computer to check one last time the prices at Ebay, etc. to confirm that it was the exact same set.  It was, and the prices online hadn't dropped.   They ran back up to Walmart (its right around the corner) and purchased two.  DH told AJ that he'd be willing to invest w/him and split the profits, if he put one of them on Ebay.  AJ listed the set, and it sold by the end of the week for $90.  He was able to pay Daddy back his investment ($70), and keep his portion of the profits ($10 - half of what was left).  This gave him a Lego set for only $20.  But they didn't stop there,  Daddy offered to take part of his original investment,  and put it towards another one, if AJ was willing to do it again (meaning he'd be parting w/the $10 he'd just made).  After much deliberation, AJ decided that instead of spending more $, he would part w/the other set in hopes of a higher profit.  Seeing that he'd already paid Daddy back his investment $, this would make this entire transaction AJ's (since he was essentially selling his own stuff).  He listed it and it sold for $95. He now had all of his money back, plus an additional $45 profit.  Now, he just prayed that he'd be able to find that set again at Walmart for that price.  He did.  To make this super long story a bit shorter, I'll just tell you that he reinvested again a couple more x's, and ended up selling 3 more (for a total of 5) sets on Ebay, which all sold for $75-95 each, before the price went back up to normal @ Walmart.  Oh, and he did get one for himself as well (at the sale price) .   So in just a few weeks time, he'd made around $200 in profits and rec'd the item he pondered on almost all year.  With the $ he earned, he payed tithes, savings, put some $ in his E-trade acct, bought gifts for his young aunts/uncles (my siblings), and still had plenty to spare.    How's that for a math lesson? So this is all to say that although he often handles large sums of $ at a time, he is learning how to NOT be a frivolous spender.  The above example is pretty typical of how most of his purchases go, being great or small.  As I said he may sometimes run into issues due to bad money management, and sometimes does not like when we suggest that something may not be a wise investment, but he truly respects our opinion and wisdom on the matter (most of the time, lol).  And more often than not, the Lord blesses his finances due to his stewardship over it.  We pray that these experiences will help him when he steps out into the world to become a steward over his own family's finances. I'd love to hear how others tackle the issues of teaching children to handle $.  I'm always looking for ways to teach him to teach him better money management skills.. How do you help your kids deal w/money?  Do you give allowances?  Are they allowed to spend everything they get, or do you just put it away for safe keeping?

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• Nov. 9, 2009 - Surviving Tough Times as a Family

Quite a few of our family members (from different states) got together this year, and decided that it would be nice if we could all spend Thanksgiving together.  My brother and I had been contemplating meeting up in TX to see my parents and younger siblings anyway, so this sounded like a good idea to us.  Since we're all pretty spread out, we had to decide on a central location, which ended up being AZ.  Not very central to us over here on the East Coast, but it works for everyone else who lives in CA, AZ, and TX, so alas, we were outnumbered, lol. (Plus my grandparents are in AZ, and they obviously had dibs on who gets to NOT travel, know what I mean?)  None of us are exactly raking in the dough during these tough times in our economy, so this has taken some advanced planning to try to make it work.  My aunt started sending out the list for what dishes to bring around the first week of Oct., even though the majority of us hadn't even made travel arrangements just yet.   We all agreed though, that it is imperative that we at least make this effort to see my grandparents (as we haven't been to visit for quite some time, and our beloved "Papa" is getting along in years...) For us, it has been touch and go, as to whether we'd actually be able to make it or not.  But hubby sat us down and explained that if this trip were gonna happen, it would take the work of us all..  So, we've all been chipping in and doing our part to raise/save $ for this family trip.  Since this is a slower time of year for DH's business (construction), he's trying to prep ahead of time by working extra hours, and as much as possible to be prepared (often after Thanksgiving, he goes w/o work almost until the new year) for when we get back.  In addition to this, I've reduced our grocery budget down to almost nothing, trying to use our available resources instead (thank God we are still getting a harvest from our garden, and the chickens have not stopped for their fall/winter break from laying, yet.)  I've also been selling  quite a few things on Ebay and  Craigslist, and have been able to get a bit of money saved up. But, I would have to say that the absolute STAR OF THE SHOW, has been AJ!  He took our little family talk to heart, and has taken it upon himself to attempt to single-handedly raise enough $ to go.  I'm not sure if the prospect of seeing his former "siblings" (teenage aunts/uncle that lived w/him as siblings for 2 yrs - actually my siblings, lol) and all of our family has been his motivation, or if it was a spin off of our family book study "Created for Work" (AWESOME book for ages 12+ on which I'll do another post on this book w/a review).  I'm assuming that it's both.   After reading this book together (and we still haven't finished), and hearing of our plight of lack of $ to go on this trip, AJ decided to create a "landscaping" business.  He has been maintaining the lawns (cutting, weed-eating, raking, sweeping driveways/in front of curbs, etc) of our neighbors for $20-30/yard.  He has taken this job very seriously, purchasing his own gas for the mower, line for the weed-eater, bags for raking, and has checked out several lawn mower repair books from the library in order to provide maintenance to the (3) lawnmowers that we have.    The Lord has been truly blessing him in his efforts because it seems like each week, another neighbor will stop him (upon seeing him work on someone's yard) and give him more work.   I would daresay the child has earned enough to pay for his own ticket AZ!  (Although, he doesn't realize that Daddy's planning on purchasing the tickets and allowing AJ to keep his $ for spending cash and such while on our trip. )  He's worked so hard, and we are so proud of him, and the example that he's setting for homeschoolers to our neighbors.   We know that many family's are caught in a dilemma over whether or not to relay to their children how the economy is affecting them.  We sometimes feel like we don't want them to worry their young little hearts over such adult matters.  But, we also don't want to sugar coat the world so that our children grow up unaware of tough times that may lie ahead.  We have decided that we will allow our son to share in the good times as well as the bad.  So that not only will he understand how the world really works, but also be able to find joy in all circumstances.  (Being able to fully understand what Paul meant in Phil 4:11-13).  We're happy that he's learning that the family is a community, in which we must all do our part to make work.  He truly feels valuable as a part of the family unit, and sees that when the time comes, he will be "just like Daddy" in doing what it takes to get out, and  try his best to keep his family afloat, even in the toughest of economies.

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• Jul. 13, 2009 - Self motivation / laziness?

OK, so I've always wondered, and I gotta ask the question...  I'm thinking that this is most applicable to boys, and those parenting boys.  I often hear moms/dads complaining about the laziness issue when it comes to their boys.  How they are really unmotivated to just get up and do what needs to be done.   Is this something that some are born with, or can it be taught? All my life it has seemed that some just have that get up and go, and some are satisfied w/things as they are. Never really striving to do better. Can this be taught to children? For example, the child that you always have to remind to do everything, make them try a little bit harder, write a bit neater, REALLY clean something, etc.. For instance, my younger brother (the adult one), was pretty lazy as a child.  He even nicknamed himself  "lil lazy", and proudly carried the nickname throughout middle & high school, lol.  My parents were ALWAYS on him to clean his room, do his homework, try harder in school, stop sleeping all day, etc...  It was almost scary imagining what neglect his adulthood responsiblilties would receive. Yet somehow, once thrust into adulthood, he "magically" became this responsible adult, TOTALLY committed to handling his business!  Now, in his mid 20s, he works 2 jobs, always lives in nice neighborhoods, and has nice cars, goes on vacations, and just recently, he informed me that he just signed up to go back to school (college - medical field)!   Come to think of it, I can say the same of my husband (whom I've known since high school), and my older sister ( hmm, so I guess this doesn't apply to boys only ) .  My hubby, as a teen, got horrible grades, slept all day, and had THE junkiest room I've seen to this day (my sister's /brother's come tied for 2nd, lol).  He went to college for like a semester (only because his parents were making him), and then dropped out.  He now owns/runs his own business, handles the finances, and is the sole provider of the household.  And my goodness, the man knows more financial jargon than I can wrap my little head around, and people call him and ask for financial advice (I actually heard him on the phone w/my older sis this weekend, discussing credit/financial issues -- man, if that wasn't enough to make me lightheaded!)  So, as it turns out, those that I looked at as being super lazy during childhood (of course, I was the model child , great grades, clean room, the whole nine, lol) ended up being some of the more responsible, hard working adults, compared to some that I know whose parents pushed them to the point of burnout (thnk about college kids that get great grades, yet veg out during any and  ALL free time, and then don't even work after college, or get some "think-free" job, because they are ready to just take it easy for a change... Not that this is always the case, but an example).  So, I wonder, is this just part of being a kid? Or part of being a boy? Sometimes it seems like boys only take part/pride in the things that truly interest them. How do you prepare them for dealing w/this same problem in adulthood? Won't lazy kids become lazy adults? Or does something just click when they become adults? Is there anything that should be done now?   Or, as given, in the examples above, should parents just do what they can hoping that it'll just work itself out in the end?   Ask your husbands, ladies, what were they like as a child - how are they now? PS I also can't vouch that the above 3 people clean their rooms, any better now than they did then, but, hey you can't win 'em all, right?

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