Today we were invited to my sister in law's house for a small BBQ (just our fam and hers). She has 2 boys one, age 8, and the other is the same age as my son (12 - they were born only a month apart). Being so close in age, the two older boys had always been rather close, and enjoyed each other's company. AJ could not wait for family gatherings, so that the two of them could run off, and ride bikes, play hide-and-seek, etc. For quite some time, they even lived right around the corner from us, so they just went back and forth over the two houses, especially in the summer. When my SIL was going through a rough time, with a divorce and other issues, the boys were practically living with us. I would get them dressed, feed them, and take them to school in the morning, and often the school would even call me when problems arose. The boys were very loving, playful, and my son enjoyed spending time with them. Eventually my SIL got back on track and her and the kids moved about an hour away. The boys began seeing each other less, yet still relished in the few rare occasions when the families got together. And then it happened...
Public Middle School
I knew it would, and I tried to prep my son for it but the inevitable split began. It was ever so slight. On the first couple of visits we had we began to notice little things. My son would come back complaining about being teased about homeschool/personal beliefs. My SIL would say things like "I don't know his [her son's?!] email address", and "he's got a little crush", "he doesn't want to be seen w/me" during his 5th/6th grade years... Then as time progressed (7th grade) she'd say "he's talking to some girl on his MySpace", "he heard that he could get mono from kissing, so he asked me to have him vaccinated", and "he wants to go to the movies with his little girlfriend, and asked if I could drop them off/pick them up".... All the while she is talking in a rather everyday tone, as if this is just the way it is at that age (12- remember?) and my mouth is on the floor.
Fast forward to today. While catching up on the past couple months w/my SIL, and my hubby chatting and watching the game with her boyfriend. I would often notice her 12 yo come in and out of the kitchen by himself, and I'd often ponder, "that's weird, where's AJ"? Then whenever I'd see AJ, I'd notice something that piqued my interest further, he'd be running around playing and having a good time...with the 8 year old! I only saw the two twelve year olds' in the same vicinity maybe once or twice. I finally asked someone where the kids were, and they said the my son had been playing legos in the 8yo's room, and the 12yo was in his room alone.
So on the way home I asked AJ the magic question. "Are you beginning to notice a difference in his behavior?" And he spilled the beans, he said that all the older boy did the entire time was text on his cell phone, and play video games. Every once in a while he would attempt to muscle his little bro and AJ into playing some sort of game of his choosing, which usually involved him pounding his little brother. When AJ would refuse, or suggest a more fair way of playing, he would result to name calling, hitting, or just leaving. In AJ's own words, "I don't understand Mama, he just seems so 'cocky', he's not any fun anymore, I'd rather play with [his little cousin] instead". He told us that he was called the "f" word (3 letter, meaning gay), and the "p" word (then he clarified, the "p-e" word, mom--5 letters, indicating the male pelvic region) over and over throughout the day. When my son threatened to tell his parents, he told him to go ahead, he wouldn't get in trouble. How sad that these words that my son still feels are as bad as any 4 letter word, are tossed around so freely.
So, once my son came to the conclusion that he would get along better with the younger son, we commended him for his assessment. Then we once again reminded him of the conversation we'd had just a couple years ago. As his friends progress through the "grade levels" of the public school system (not that it couldn't happen among HSers, but all the more, we feel, w/PSers), he will undoubtedly see greater and greater changes in the way that they live, vs. the way that he/we have chosen to live. When those times come, we pray that the Lord will continue to provide him with the strength to act as he did today. Standing up for those that are being wronged, and staying true to who he is in Christ.
Forced maturity, just another sad reality of the public school system....
A good friend of mine wrote a really honest, and thought provoking post regarding purity. So thought provoking, in fact, that as I began to comment, it became my next blog post. I encourage you to read her post (reference to "God's Design For Sex") as well, so that you may understand my commentary. The following was my response:
I don't know how I could've missed this post. You know that I totally agree w/you, and you are right to start praying over this issue now. Many times as parents we miss this key component to preparing our children for the unrelenting battle that lies ahead. You can NOT start praying soon enough for this. All Christians will have to deal w/sorting out the wrong images/lifestyle portrayals dished out by society and the media, but I will be the first to say that our boys will have it the worst. There is an all out battle for their souls and often, as moms, we don't realize how serious it really is. Husbands/fathers can usually give you some input as to how bad this battle is, but only if they are honest about their own battle. If not, they will not be able to seriously become the prayer warriors that their sons will need for the long road ahead. The worst part about the battle, that I've discovered as a woman, learning from men who are completely honest about it, is that this particular battle for men NEVER ENDS! Not to say that they cannot get it under control for the most part, and gain a greater spiritual hold in this area, but it will remain to be a battle (just maybe a lesser one, as Satan begins to realize their strength in this particular area). And as homeschooling moms, we must make sure that we don't make the mistake of thinking that since we "shelter" our children more, that they'll be ok, because it will be that much easier for Satan to sneak in and surprise us. Instead, we must take this time of shelter to make them stronger for the battle that will be ahead for them once they are out of our sight.
Have you walked through the aisles of your local Blockbuster lately, seen commercials during sporting events, or the cheerleaders at sporting events, gone in to a gas station, checked your email and noticed the ads on the sidebar, typed in a google search and had something crazy pop up in the "auto-finish" feature, or on youtube that has nothing to do with what you were searching, or simply GONE OUT IN PUBLIC during hot weather? Soon our sons will be men, doing all of these normal everyday things, and will be attacked by the wiles of Satan in ways that we as women will find hard to understand. I pray that every Christian mother/wife will have the blessing of a male figure that will honestly tell her and open her eyes to how big of battle lust really is, and how the smallest things can rouse such a wicked demon (I thank God for this very thing w/my own husband and father). Only then, can we do our part in helping them to stand....
This comment may have been more of me rambling than anything else. But I have seen it time and again now, and stand very firmly on the fight against lust for our boys. I'm not saying that our girls will not have a fight against purity as well. However being that I'm a woman, and having only had the opportunity in raising boys, I've noticed that there is a misplaced focus at times. No offense to those raising their girls up to be pure (for this is surely needed, as well), but the purity fight for men and women come from 2 completely different angles...
I plan on posting more on this subject (including book studies we've done/are doing w/our son, and most importantly scriptures that we reference/memorize w/him). But for now, I welcome those that have more experience than I, or who disagree to share your thoughts/ suggestions as well...
This blog template is driving me crazy, I just wanna kick something! It's not like I have a lot of time to work on it, or to even blog for that matter, so it makes me all the more angry. Apparently, depending on which browser you're using, my blog looks completely different. I usually use Mozilla, and when I look at the blog, the words run right into the about me section and all the other stuff on the right side of the page. The link colors are blue and purple, NOT what they're supposed to be, at all.
On the other hand, the other day someone told me that when they looked at it using Internet Explorer, the spacing problem wasn't an issue. So I decided to take a look at it using IE, and she was right. There were no spacing issues between the right and left side, and the link and font colors were correct. So problem solved, right? Ummm no, because the entire contents of the right and left side were being contained in a huge purple box (background)! Yeah a purple, non-matching background table, right over the brown background that's already there, SO UGLY! Oh, whatever, I have to pick! I either have time to blog, or time to mess around with the dumb template. So if you see changes in the blog, you will probably not see a post from me that week, lol. Unless it was done on the weekend (as if I have more time, then ).
To another blog hosting site ! Ha, I know you were like, oh she talked all that about being content where she is, and changed her mind in a matter of days, lol. No, I'm just wondering how happy I am w/ HSB as a whole. I love the community, and the idea of it all, but I have a few issues. For one, my blog pages seem to take FOREVER to load, and I know that if its annoying to me, it has to deter any readers who would attempt to read a post. I for one, would just move on to the next thing, if I had to wait 30 seconds for a page to load. Other blog sites also have more available as far as templates and other features. I have some troubles w/my widgets, sometimes they show up, sometimes they don't. I kept thinking that it was just my computer, which is already slow enough, but I'm starting to think that there's more to this story than my slow pc. I can get around other places on the net just fine, yet when I go to my own blog, it's like an eternity....
Sooo, I've been doing a bit of research, to see what other options may fit my needs better, and talking to people with wordpress and blogger to get their point of view on the pros and cons of their blog hostsing. And since I'm looking at free blogging sites, those are the two that I've narrowed it down to. I hate the thought of having to pack up and leave, and try to get all my posts to a new site, but it may be the only option. I'm not sure, but right now my joy over blogging is beginning to decline, so I'll have to decide soon.
Well, today was busy as Monday's usually are for me. I got up about 6 and got breakfast ready, and had my cup of coffee. Then I did a quick clean up and finished making my menu plan and grocery list, and mapped out my week in my planner. I did a quick workout dvd, I'm currently doing the 30 day Shred by Jillian Michaels, and I love it. They are only 20-25 minute workouts and they are EFFECTIVE! I don't think I ever sweat harder than when doing those workouts, she is unbelievable.
Then after taking a shower and getting dressed for the day (Monday is date night w/the hubby, so had to make sure I'd be all prettied up for that as well), I headed out for the big day of grocery shopping. This usually takes me a few hours, since I have to hit up quite a few stores in order to obtain everything on my list . However, I'm grateful that they are all within reasonable distance from my home and each other (like same shopping centers/across street), that I have a system in which the order that I go to the stores is bearable, and not much more gas being used (I have to figure that into the equation in order to know if I'm really saving any $ from my escapade, lol). When finished, I headed on home (hubby was home from work early and already showered and waiting), and while the kids put away groceries, I put a speedy dinner on the table (spaghetti, and homemade french bread from freezer) for my mom and the kiddos, and headed off on my date! It was a very busy day, and it flew by, but it was all worth it in the end! Tuesday is my "at home" day ( I try to stay home at least every other day, so the housework stays kept up) and it will be busy, too but not quite as bad as today. A homemaker's job is never done...
We're not planning on having the whole summer "off", so to speak, but we will be taking various breaks here and there. Of course we will still be learning the whole time, but much less structured. We're trying to sell the house and it's just too much for me to try to handle all at once. We're going to attempt to sell it ourselves, so we'll see how that goes. My hubby has pretty much deemed me the real estate agent, so a lot is riding on my research and footwork. I'm having my son join in and help w/as much as he can handle, so that he doesn't start to get that "I'm bored, can we go somewhere" itch. He doesn't get it often, but if I'm busy, and we're not doing things together, it can be hard on him. Oh, the joys of homeschooling an only child. I am his playmate, we must have contact and one on one time, several times throughout the day, or else he'd go crazy. I try to enjoy it while I can, because I know that the day will come when he won't be tripping on my heels anymore, and frankly, it will probably be quite lonely. He will be going to a (homeschooled) friends house later today, so I'll probably run some errands that he'd be less fond of. He worked really hard in the yard yesterday, so I even let him sleep in this morning, and then he'll get to go and enjoy himself today. We're selling the house in hopes (and lots of prayer) of getting some farming land in AZ. We have farming family there (who also homeschool) so it would be nice to be close to them again (we used to live there) and be out of the city life atmosphere...
I hope to get a workout in today, although working on this house has been exercise in and of itself. I hope to actually hit the weights today. I haven't in a while. But w/so many studies of how our muscle and bone mass decreases w/age, I'm trying to do a bit of preventative maintenance by making sure that I lift weights at least 3 times per week, and that I stay moderately active on the other days as well. We have a lot of bad health history in my family, so I'm doing what I can to try to avoid certain things (diabetes, heart problems, etc.). I'll just have to trust in the Lord to do His part, whatever that may be.
I'm a wannabe in every sense of the word. I wanna be good enough to make it to heaven, but Jesus died because I will never be. I wanna be a mom of ten living on a farm in the middle of nowhere, training my girls to honor God & their husbands, by being content, happy homemakers...yet God has seen fit to bless us with the opportunity to help rear for Him two boys (22 and 12), in the middle of suburbia ;) I wanna be a helpmate to my husband in every way possible, yet more often than not, I'm in his way, lol. I wanna be the perfect parent, that raises perfect children, yet I am constantly humbled by the fact that only He is perfect, and I must allow him to lead. I wanna be the ultimate caretaker of my temple, and the pinnacle of health to all around me, yet no amount of healthy eating/exercise keeps me from dropping to my knees often, in need of healing from the Great Physician. I could go on and on about the the things that I am trying to be, but I invite you instead to come and join me as I travel on my path toward virtue... ~Proverbs 31:10-31~
).
! Ha, I know you were like, oh she talked all that about being content where she is, and changed her mind in a matter of days, lol. No, I'm just wondering how happy I am w/ HSB as a whole. I love the community, and the idea of it all, but I have a few issues. For one, my blog pages seem to take FOREVER to load, and I know that if its annoying to me, it has to deter any readers who would attempt to read a post. I for one, would just move on to the next thing, if I had to wait 30 seconds for a page to load. Other blog sites also have more available as far as templates and other features. I have some troubles w/my widgets, sometimes they show up, sometimes they don't. I kept thinking that it was just my computer, which is already slow enough, but I'm starting to think that there's more to this story than my slow pc. I can get around other places on the net just fine, yet when I go to my own blog, it's like an eternity....
They are only 20-25 minute workouts and they are EFFECTIVE! I don't think I ever sweat harder than when doing those workouts, she is unbelievable. 
. However, I'm grateful that they are all within reasonable distance from my home and each other (like same shopping centers/across street), that I have a system in which the order that I go to the stores is bearable, and not much more gas being used (I have to figure that into the equation in order to know if I'm really saving any $ from my escapade, lol). When finished, I headed on home (hubby was home from work early and already showered and waiting
), and while the kids put away groceries, I put a speedy dinner on the table (spaghetti, and homemade french bread from freezer) for my mom and the kiddos, and headed off on my date!
It was a very busy day, and it flew by, but it was all worth it in the end! Tuesday is my "at home" day ( I try to stay home at least every other day, so the housework stays kept up) and it will be busy, too but not quite as bad as today. A homemaker's job is never done...
